Reluctance (7 page)

"What about her?" she asked.

"No one knows if he ever changed her, or if she died."

Dahlia thought for long minutes. What if she and Cam were to go away, if they lived a normal, quiet life? But then he'd be living without a family of his own. He'd never have children. And she'd have to watch him die eventually. Could she stand that?

And then to live alone forever after . . . .

"Dahlia, did you even give him the option?"

Her father's question brought Dahlia out of her musings. "Who, Jace? No, he doesn't know what we are."

"Not Jace."

Dahlia was momentarily confused. Then her mind cleared, and she realized he was speaking of Cam.

"No, of course not. I couldn't do that to him. I
won't
do that to him," she said.

"I almost wasn't given the choice either."

At Dahlia's look, he said, "Not that she changed me without telling me. I knew what she was. She didn't want to change me. She felt it unfair to me. So she chose someone else. I broke in just as they were beginning the ceremony, and nearly lost my life. She saved me by claiming me. And I'm grateful, Dahlia. I wouldn't have wanted to live without her. And now,"—he swept his hands around to take in their surroundings—"I wouldn't want to live without this. I seem to have lost a great deal of my humanity, but by choice. I'm just selfish enough to enjoy all this life offers."

Dahlia knew he spoke the truth. She knew he enjoyed the life.

"You love him?" her father asked.

"Yes," she said, and at that moment knew the choice had never been hers. She wouldn't take Jace as a mate. She also wouldn't take Cam, but if he'd have her, she'd spend his life with him. She wouldn't think beyond that. Even if he didn't want her, she wouldn't mate.

"Give him the choice," he said.

"No. He's too kind. He won't reject me, even if he wants to."

"Then bring him here," her father said. "I'll talk to him. I'll tell him exactly how it is."

Dahlia looked at him doubtfully.

"I promise," he said. "I won't try to make it look good. I'll tell him everything."

"I don't know," Dahlia said. "I'll think about it."

She already knew she wouldn't tell Cam he had a choice.

* * * * *

Dahlia sat in the park once again, silent and still. Cam had seen her here before.

He hadn't approached her, though, just watched. Today, he planned to approach.

Their kiss the night before had shocked him, but when he went to sleep he dreamt. He dreamt an entire history with Dahlia, where they were in love, where Jace wasn't anything more than an annoyance—where Dahlia was a vampire. When he woke, he knew his dream was true, that somehow, she had erased their history from his mind, made him forget her, and somehow their kiss had reignited his memories.

"Dahlia."

Dahlia turned toward Cam, and he saw the turmoil on her face. He moved to sit next to her, taking her hand in his.

"I remember," he said.

"What?" Dahlia said, stunned.

"You erased my memories, but now they're back. I want to know why."

Dahlia shrugged. "I don't know, Cam. I don't know anyone who has ever remembered after they were commanded to forget. I guess I'm as clumsy in that as I am in everything."

Cam nearly laughed at her assessment, his memory of her low self-esteem clear now.

"Not why I remember," he said. "I mean why did you do it in the first place?"

"Because I couldn't stand it, Cam. I couldn't stand your knowing what I was . . . I mean,
am
."

"So you took my memory rather than let me deal with everything?"

"I . . . ." She had no answer.

He lifted her hand to his mouth, breathing in her unique scent. "It doesn't matter to me, Dahlia. I love you."

She pulled her hand from his. "It
does
matter."

"No." He took her hand again. Then he cocked his head, curious. "Why Jace? Was it simply to hurt me?"

"Of course not," she answered immediately. "I would never try to hurt you. He was simply a means to an end."

Cam tried to find sense in her words, but failed. "Meaning?"

"Meaning if I take him for a mate, change him, he'd be the one who could make me valuable in my people's eyes."

Now Cam dropped her hand, standing and pacing in front of her.

"
Mate
?" he demanded.

"I'm not going to take him," she said.

"And that's supposed to make me feel better how?"

Dahlia stood. "I choose you, Cam." Then realizing how her words sounded, she began again. "What I mean is, I'm not going to take a mate. I'm not going to change anyone. I'm going to live like a normal person—well, a normal person who hunts others to drink their blood. But if you'll have me, Cam, I'll live that normal life with you."

"Wait," Cam said, lifting a hand.

Dahlia felt slightly deflated he wasn't rejoicing in her choice.

"What do you mean, 'change' someone?" Cam asked.

Dahlia waved at the bench. "Let's sit. I'll tell you everything."

* * * * *

Dahlia's birthday came inexorably closer. Aster chose Jace. It was not unusual for a girl Aster's age to pick someone, even if she still had a couple years. Dahlia was forced to watch the ceremony, see the thrill of power that coursed through Jace as he became a vampire. She was then subject to his enhanced cruelty when he moved in to their house.

She kept Cam far away from Jace, not exactly difficult since Jace no longer felt the need to work or go to school. He settled quite well into the life without so much as a backward glance. Dahlia had never been so relieved and content with a decision as the one she made to pass on Jace.

Aster seemed perfectly content with him. In fact, she told Dahlia the only reason she had helped her to look better for first Cam and then Jace was she'd been looking for her own mate, willing to accept either of the gorgeous guys Dahlia had somehow managed to bring home, ready to move on with her life. She matched Jace in ambition.

Together, Aster and Jace made her parents look completely soft.

Dahlia hadn't told anyone she planned to leave. She and Cam were going away.

She wouldn't turn him. He wanted her to, but she couldn't . . .
wouldn't
. She'd given him his chance for freedom, but he refused. So they would leave the family, leave her people and her way of life, and spend their years together alone. Then, when Cam died, she would make herself visible, become the hunted rather than the hunter.

* * * * *

"Well, well, look who we have here."

Dahlia jumped at the sound of Jace's voice. Cam stiffened next to her. She knew it had been a mistake to bring Cam to her home, but she was leaving tonight and he'd wanted to help her pack. She suspected her father knew about her decision and had taken her perceptive mother out for the night. She honestly hadn't worried about Jace and Aster since they were usually so bound up in one another they didn't notice much else.

"Go away, Jace," Dahlia said, turning to stand in front of the open suitcase on her bed.

"Just came by to say hello to my good friend Cam. We were the best buds in high school, right, Cam?"

"I don't think so," Cam answered, standing next to Dahlia.

It wasn't hard to recognize the difference in Jace, see the new, pale smoothness of his skin, the darkened eyes, the cruel glint in those dark eyes that covered any trace of humanity.

"I don't think I ever knew you," Cam said.

Jace sauntered in, a mirthless smile pasted on his face. "How can you say that, Cam? You wound me." His hand covered his now stilled heart, his smile unchanging.

"Where's Aster?" Dahlia asked. Jace's face changed slightly, tightening in annoyance at her question.

"My lovely mate is none of your business."

"Why don't you go find her?" Dahlia suggested.

Jace's gaze left Cam and turned on Dahlia. His lips curled back a little, and she saw the extended fangs.

"Jace, you need to get control," she said in a low voice. New vampires sometimes had a hard time controlling their urges, though they were still subject to vampire law.

"I don't
need
to do anything, Dahlia." He cocked his head at her. "Did I ever tell you how much I despised dating you?"

Cam bristled, and Dahlia ran a calming hand down his arm, keeping hold of his hand. She could hold him back with that small touch.

"The feeling was entirely mutual," she responded.

Jace's jaw clenched. "It was worth it only to watch Cam burn," he gritted out.

"That and to get hold of your sister."

"It wasn't worth anything to me," she said, aware she fanned the flames. "You know what's funny? I planned to turn you myself."

Jace's eyes flared.

"As devoted as you are to Aster," Dahlia continued, "you would have been equally devoted to me. Now
that
might have been worth the horror of being with you, watching you follow me around like a puppy dog, as you've been followed around all these years."

Jace roared with anger and lunged at her. Dahlia was stronger than Jace and knew he couldn't hurt her. Unfortunately, she had forgotten to tell Cam, and, as she let go his hand to take Jace down, Cam stepped in front of her. Jace, unable or unwilling to stop his progress grasped Cam and tore into his neck, fighting with his new instinct rather than any kind of sense. In moments, Dahlia was on Jace and had thrown him across the room. He stared at her, stunned.

"Get out before I rip your head off," Dahlia growled. Then she saw the blood on his chin and turned to Cam, terror ripping through her. He lay on the floor, bleeding.

"Cam!" she screamed, dropping next to him.

She felt movement behind her and turned to see Jace had stepped closer.

"I'm sorry," Jace said. "I didn't mean . . . ." He didn't finish as his eyes fastened ravenously on Cam's bleeding neck.

Having heard the commotion, Aster burst into the room. One look around was all she needed to figure out what had happened.

"Get him out," Dahlia commanded. Aster grabbed Jace's hand and dragged him from the room. Moments later, the front door slammed.

Dahlia turned back to Cam. He was gasping for air. As someone very familiar with blood, Dahlia immediately recognized the difference between arterial blood and venous blood—and there was far too much arterial blood. She grabbed a nearby sweatshirt and pressed the cloth against his neck with a moan, knowing how futile her efforts were.

"Cam, please, you have to hold on." Tears streamed down her face.

Wet warmth reached her fingers through the sweatshirt as Cam stared at her with desperate eyes.

"Cam, I can't . . . I can save you, Cam. But there's only one way. Do you know what I'm saying?"

Cam's hand came up to grasp hers. He squeezed weakly.

"I don't know what that means," she cried. "I love you, Cam. I don't want to lose you, but I won't change you against your will. Squeeze again if you want me to try."

He squeezed once more before his hand slid away. With a cry, she began the process.

* * * * *

Dahlia was leaving. She'd submitted to the ceremony, but that was where her loyalty to her people ended. She was ready to be her own person—if a monster could be considered a person. She felt she'd fulfilled her duty, and no longer felt any obligation.

She closed her suitcase, looking at the spot where Cam had lay dying, and her heart lurched. If she never returned to this house, it would be too soon. She swung the suitcase off the bed and walked out. Her family waited in the parlor. Jace had managed to recover nicely from any residual guilt he might have felt over attacking Cam. In fact, he managed to act as if it hadn't happened at all.

"Well," she said. "I'm off."

"I wish you wouldn't go, darling," her mother purred.

Dahlia wished her mother meant what she said. If only wishes could come true . .

. .

"Be happy, my dear," her father said, hugging her and dropping a kiss on the top of her head. Dahlia thought she would probably miss him. If only he had been the father she needed throughout her whole childhood, rather than only recently, she might not have felt the need to go away.

Aster stepped forward. "You're still a freak," she said. Then she pulled Dahlia into a hug. "Still, if I had to have a big sister, you were a good one to have. I probably wouldn't be as nice as I am if not for you."

Dahlia bit her tongue against the retort that sprang to her lips and hugged Aster back. Jace simply saluted her mockingly, and Dahlia backed away toward the door.

"Will you ever call, do you think?" her mother suddenly asked.

Dahlia thought about her answer.

"Maybe." It was the most she could promise.

With a final wave, she turned away and exited the house. The sunshine hit her full force, and she stood still for one moment, basking, breathing in the scent of freedom.

"Are you coming, or do I need to come up there and get you?" Cam called teasingly.

Dahlia opened her eyes, drinking in the sight of him. She would never get tired of looking at him. She smiled widely and stumbled down the front steps into his waiting arms.

Cam's mouth closed over hers, pulling her close against himself. Dahlia tightened her arms around his neck, reveling in the fact she could hold him with all her strength without breaking him.

"Hi." Cam grinned, pulling back slightly.

"Hi," Dahlia answered breathlessly. Her eyes dropped to his neck, marred by a hideous scar, which was fading daily, though not fast enough for her liking. She hated any reminder of how close she had come to losing him.

He tipped his head up, exposing the scar. "How does it look?" he asked.

"Alive," she answered, pulling his mouth to hers once more.

~The End~

About the Author

Cindy C Bennett was born and raised in Salt Lake City, where she still happily resides.

She is the YA author of Geek Girl, Heart on a Chain, and Immortal Mine. Her favorite things (besides writing) are spending time with her family, reading, or riding her Harley through the beautiful canyons near her home. Dark chocolate ranks somewhere up there near the tops of her favorite things as well. She also hosts a geek podcast with her son once a week.