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Authors: Mary Burchell

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In her nervousness, she felt her mouth relax into a timid little smile and her long lashes flickered without her being able to control them. But he looked away, without apparently noticing her smile.

Doggedly she ploughed her way through the delicious meal. Determinedly she took part in the conversation. And, courageously, she even managed to laugh at her father’s jokes and to think up a few in return.

It was over at last; fortunately no one wanted to make a late night of it.

“If you’ll drive us back to your place, Leigh, I’ll collect my car, drop Claire at the hotel so that she can get a good night’s sleep and take Meg out to Purworth,” Dr. Greenway said, as they emerged from the restaurant into the cool night air.

“I’ll drive Meg home,” Leigh offered carelessly.

Meg’s fingers dug pleadingly into her father’s arm, and he said, with that pleasant firmness which all his patients knew, “Thank you. But I’ll enjoy doing that myself. As Meg says, I haven’t seen any too much of her.”

“I see.” Leigh was perfectly agreeable about it, but once more he cast a momentary glance at her, and Meg was sure he knew it was by her arrangement that her father was driving her home.

The goodnights and the thanks were said. Leigh went off in his own car to the garage at the side of the apartment, Claire was dropped at the hotel, and at last Meg was alone with her father. He didn’t know about that horrible scene in Leigh’s apartment so she could pretend for an hour that it had not happened.

They talked pleasantly about their personal affairs, and he made her feel again that, as far as he was concerned, she would be always welcome in his home. It soothed and pleased her, even though she knew that Claire’s attitude precluded her taking advantage of the open invitation except in special circumstances. When she finally said goodnight to her father, she felt calm and relaxed.

Felicity was still up, on a sofa in the
living room, flicking the pages o
f a new script. She looked up and smiled as though she were genuinely pleased to see Meg—as indeed she probably was, since what she was doing at the moment bored her.

“Had a good time?” she inquired.

“Yes ... No ... Horrible,” said Meg, and began to cry.

“Good heavens, Meg! What’s the matter? I never thought you did that,” exclaimed Felicity. “Have you quarreled with your father or something?”

“Oh, no!”

“With your stepmother? No, of course it can’t be that. Why should you cry about her? Then it must be with Leigh. But I wouldn’t have thought that would matter to you.”

“Of course it matters,” sobbed Meg. “But anyway, I haven’t quarreled with him,” she added confusedly.

“What have you done with him that does matter, then?” inquired Felicity, with the patient exactness born of curiosity.

“M-made him feel humiliated and furious
and ...
hurt.”

“I doubt it. He’s tougher than you think,” replied Felicity calmly. “How did you achieve this unusual situation?”

“It was all Claire’s fault—” Meg screwed her handkerchief into a tight ball and dabbed her eyes. “I’m sorry to have made this ridiculous scene.”

“It doesn’t matter. Everyone cries some time, if it’s only with rage,” Felicity assured her comfortingly
. “And
I’m sure it was Claire’s fault. Do tell me about it.”

So Meg, a trifle apprehensive now that she remembered Felicity’s own part in this, told the story.

“I’m terribly sorry I let my anger run away with me so that I didn’t think what I was saying,” Meg told her contritely. “But Claire
goaded me ...
and I never thought of his actually hearing me say that you ... that we ... had arranged to bamboozle him in that horrid way.”

“Well, of course it isn’t the kind of thing you say to anyone’s face,” Felicity agreed. “But I think you’re distressing yourself too much. I didn’t want him to bother me yesterday and you did put up a very enjoyable pretence of wanting him to partner you.”

“It wasn’t a pretence,” said Meg huskily. “I genuinely enjoyed being with him.”

“Well, that’s even nicer,” Felicity assured her cheerfully. “No pretence involved.”

“But he’s heard me say to Claire that none of it meant anything, that I was putting up a friendly facade for your convenience. It’s about the nastiest thing a man can hear of himself! That one woman made a fuss over him so that another could give him the slip.”

“Not the slip, exactly. But I see what you mean,” Felicity looked thoughtful. “Yes ... I suppose that would get under Leigh’s skin. But don’t worry, my dear. It isn’t as though you like him. You told me you didn’t.”

“But I ...
I don’t like the idea of hurting or humiliating anyone. It’s a horrible feeling!”

“One has to do it sometimes,” said Felicity. “It isn’t possible to go through life without inflicting a few nasty wounds. You’re overtired after last night. Things will look different in the morning.”

Meg didn’t really think they would, but she gave a shaky little laugh.

“There’s one thing,” Felicity went on, in a satisfied tone, “it will tend to keep Leigh away from here, and that’s for the good, really. He’ll only make trouble, if he realizes that I’m a little bit in love with Max. And you don’t want him around anyway, do you?”

“N ... no,” said Meg, and wondered why she was unable to make that sound more positive.

“That’s splendid, then,” declared Felicity.

The next day Meg had to submit to Pearl’s questions, but by then she was in full command of herself again.

Only when Pearl asked, “Did Leigh say when he might come and see me?” did she grow evasive.

“I hope he comes soon. It’s so nice having him be friendly with you, Meg,” Pearl said confidingly. “Do you know what I wish?”

“I thought it was unlucky to tell,” Meg reminded her with a smile.

“I don’t believe it is. Not if it’s a good idea. I wish Leigh would marry you if he’s not going to marry Mommy. Then I could come and stay with you both sometimes, couldn’t I?”

“Certainly not!” said Meg almost violently.

“Wouldn’t you want me?” Pearl opened her eyes wide in wounded surprise.

“Yes, yes ... of course I should want you. I didn’t mean that. I meant—” Meg became confused “—the whole idea is ridiculous, and you mustn’t make suggestions like that, Pearl dear. They embarrass people.”

“I don’t think it would embarrass Leigh,” said Pearl, sucking in her cheeks thoughtfully.

Meg supposed that was right. It must take a lot to embarrass Leigh, she thought. Even last night he had not looked actually embarrassed, only very angry. Meg sighed involuntarily at the thought.

Felicity, after two days’ rest while other parts of the film were being shot, had gone off early that morning with Cecile. Meg and Pearl spent the morning alone. Then, in the afternoon, Pearl received an informal invitation to join the vicar’s children for the youngest one’s birthday party.

“Shall I go, Meg?” Pearl who had so little companionship with other children, looked at Meg with shining eyes. “Do you mind being left alone?”

“Not in the least, darling. Of course you must go,” Meg told her. “I shall be perfectly happy on my own in the garden. And I’ll come and fetch you about seven.”

So Pearl, in a state of excitement which Meg found faintly pathetic, went off with the two younger vicarage children. Having attended to minor chores in the house, Meg went out into the garden.

It was deliciously peaceful, in a garden chair under the trees. The mingled sounds of the countryside were a muted chorus in the background of her consciousness. She lay there with her eyes closed and the sun on her face, and felt that, after all, there was an answer to every problem somewhere.

Occasionally the hum of a passing car drew her attention more than the other sounds, but when one car actually came to a halt at the gate, she was already too sleepy to be aware of it. Only when a shadow fell across her, bringing a faint chill instead of the warmth of the sun, did she start.

And then she saw that Leigh Sontigan was standing there, looking down at her.

“Why—” she sat up in great confusion
“—I ...
I never heard you come in the gate. I’m afraid Felicity isn’t at home. Nor is Pearl.

“That’s all right,” he said dryly, as he sat down in the chair opposite her. “I didn’t come to see either of them. I came to see you, Meg. I think it’s about time you and I had a talk.”

 

CHAPTER
SEVEN


You want us ... to have ... a talk?” stammered Meg, looking across at Leigh nervously. “What about?”

“Don’t you know?” He swung one leg carelessly over the other and regarded her with attention. “They say eavesdroppers never hear good about themselves, Meg, and I certainly had proof of that yesterday, even if I didn’t eavesdrop intentionally. But since I did hear what was said, I’d like some further explanation.”

“I didn’t really mean to say that—” she began unhappily.

But he interrupted her. “On the contrary, you could hardly have spoken with more force or conviction. If you remember, ‘My role was to take Leigh off Felicity’s hands because she wanted to enjoy herself with someone else,’ ” he quoted with horrible accuracy. “Wasn’t that what you said?”

Silence.

“Well, wasn’t it?”

“Leigh, I can’t tell you how sorry I am—”

“You don’t have to,” he interrupted coldly. “And it would bore me if you tried. I just want to know what lay behind that statement.”

She winced, but she knew it was useless to go on prevaricating. He had no intention of going away until he had got the truth out of her.

“It was just after Felicity had so kindly offered to lend me her dress,” she began helplessly. “And I said—”

“You mean the dress was the price of your services?”

“No, it was not!” she retorted indignantly. “But I was immensely grateful for her kindness, and I said ... as I suppose anyone might have said ... that I wished I could do something for her in return. And n-not very seriously, she told me she would be obliged
if I ...
if I would spend a good deal of my evening with you—”

“Take me off her hands,” he reminded her unkindly.

“—As she wanted to be free to enjoy herself with someone else.”

“With whom?”

“That,” said Meg firmly, “was not my concern.”

“All right. Your business was simply to hand me out some ingenuous eyewash about being thrilled but nervous at your first ball. The Cinderella treatment. So that I’d feel compelled to devote most of my evening to you.”

“Did you really act under a feeling of compulsion?” Meg inquired with some spirit. “You didn’t give that impression at all.”

He looked slightly taken aback at that. And, on sudden inspiration, she pressed her advantage.

“In fact, I seem to remember that, though I gave you quite a useful escape route you refused to take it. I told you that you needn’t bother with me, didn’t I? That you would want to spend the evening with your other, friends too.”

“Yes,” he said slowly. “So you did. I forgot that. Why did you tell me that? It wasn’t exactly in the part, surely.”

“No, it wasn’t in the part.”

“Then why did you say it?”

“Oh—” she pushed back her hair distractedly “—I suppose
I felt ...
ashamed.”

“You don’t say!” He permitted himself a sceptical smile which made her resentment flare again
.

“Aren’t we making this rather heavy?” she said curtly. “Suppose I did agree to ... to distract your attention, was that such a crime—considering that you seemed to get an entertaining evening out of it?”

“No,” he agreed. “It wasn’t a crime. Just a shabby piece of deception which takes the meaning out of friendship. No man wants to feel he’s been made
a fool of ...
by someone he likes.”

That stung her, and she exclaimed quickly, “I did not make a fool of you!”

“Then I don’t know what the term means. You pretended ... very ably, I must say ... to an impulsive friendliness which made our previous antagonism seem like a thing of the past.
I ...
fell for
that pretty thoroughly. It’s rather galling to find later that the whole thing was a pretense, designed to take me—”

“It wasn’t ...
all pretense,” she said, unable to keep back the words.

But he stared at her with disconcerting coldness, as though he thought her words belated and clumsy.

“The play’s over,” he informed her dryly. “Let’s leave it at that.” And he got to his feet with a finality that chilled her.

For a moment she thought she couldn’t let him go like that. Twisting her hands nervously together, she said, “I suppose it’s ... it’s no good saying that I’m
sorry?”

“It would be sort of a waste of time,” he assured her.

Then he nodded to her with unfriendly carelessness and went away.

For a long time after he had gone, she lay in her deck chair, trying to tell herself that it didn’t matter,
really ...
that Leigh Sontigan didn’t mean a thing to her. But, though the words formed easily in her mind, they conveyed no consolation, or even meaning, to her heart.

Of course she had not been as mean as Leigh supposed, but she had made a pretence of friendliness for an ulterior motive. And if, in the process, the pretence had, in some inexplicable way, merged into reality, it was asking too much that the victim of the pretence should believe it.

I’m doing what I accused him of doing
...
making too much of a minor matter,
she told herself.
“No man cares to feel he has been made a fool of by someone he likes.

That was what hurt. The admission that he had liked her. And it was no good pretending to herself that she was indifferent to his good opinion. When she thought of his final cold glance as he turned away, it seemed to her that she would have given anything to have him treat her once more with that gay, teasing, strangely heart-warming friendliness that she had once thought unimportant.

P
resently she got up and went into the house to make herself a cup of tea. Usually she didn’t mind her own company, but at this
m
oment she would have welcomed almost anyone—except Claire.

No one ca
m
e, however, and she finally went to collect Pearl from her party.

Pearl, who had had a wonderful time, was too full of her own affairs to notice anyone else’s mood. She thanked her hostess with a touch of almost ceremonious charm and was assured that she could come again very soon.

“It was absolutely lovely!” she told Meg, as she skipped along beside her on the way home. “They haven’t many toys or games but they make up their own games, and that’s much more fun.”

Meg agreed, knowing how badly Pearl needed this kind of easy companionship.

Felicity, too, when she came home seemed pleased to hear about the visit to the vicarage. After Pearl had gone to bed, she unexpectedly reverted to the subject. “I suppose Pearl will want to stay on here, now she’s found some friends.”

“Well—” Meg looked surprised “—were you expecting to leave soon?”

“We were discussing it this evening. That’s why Cecile and I were so late. Max really feels we should shoot the early part of the movie in Spain.”

“Oh,” said Meg, who had long ago given up trying to follow the ramifications of the plot. “When do you propose to go to Spain?”

“Toward the end of next week.”

“And take Pearl with you?” Meg could not hide the fact that she thought this most undesirable for the little girl.

“Well ...
that’s just it: It doesn’t seem like a good idea, does it?” Meg asked about her schooling.

“Oh, that’s not for three or four weeks yet,” explained Felicity, refusing to contemplate such a distant circumstance. “She goes to boarding school, of course, and they never begin until late in September. It’s what to do with her during the rest of the month that’s concerning me.”

“Well—” began Meg.

“Yes, I know what you’re going to say,” cried Felicity, her face clearing instantly. “And I quite agree with you, Meg dear. The ideal thing would be for her to stay here with you, if you’d be an angel and take on the responsibility.”

“That wasn’t really what I was going to say,” Meg told her with a smile. “I was going to say that perhaps your brother—”

“Dick? Oh, Dick couldn’t take her on,” Felicity declared. “Anyway, he’ll be in London most of the time, now that we’ve more or less finished filming here. And I think Pearl should stay on in Purworth, don’t you?”

The conviction was rapidly gaining on Meg that this was what Pearl was going to do in any case and she might as well capitulate now as later. At the same time, with Dick in London and Felicity somewhere in Spain, the task which she had so lightly assumed was taking on a much more responsible character.

“How long would you expect to be away?” she asked, feeling immediately that this already sounded perilously like capitulation. To Felicity it sounded exactly like capitulation, for she exclaimed gratefully, “You are a dear, Meg! And you relieve my mind immensely. I don’t imagine I shall be gone for longer than a couple of weeks, if all goes well.”

Meg refrained with difficulty from asking what would happen if all did not go well.

Pearl seemed delighted with the arrangement when she learned about it next morning at breakfast. Felicity smiled very sweetly, as though she had especially thought up the plan to please her little girl.

It was Dick, coming unexpectedly early to have his sister sign some papers, who cast the only cold water on the scheme.

“You’re asking Meg to take on a devil of a lot,” he declared. “It’s one thing for her to play glorified governess to the child while you’re around to take final responsibility. It’s quite another thing to be in sole charge while you’re out of the country.”

“You’ll be here,” his sister pointed out calmly.

“But in London. Possibly even abroad for one or two days.”

“Meg doesn’t mind. Do you, dear?” Felicity appealed to her confidently.

And, since Pearl was present during this conversation and was already widening her eyes in nervous anxiety, Meg could only say calmly, “No, I don’t mind in the least. Pearl and I will be perfectly all right on our own, and we’ll have lots of fun together.”

She saw the child’s expression relax into a satisfied smile, and she felt it was worth any minor anxiety on her part to have the little girl feel secure once more.

During the afternoon, her father and Claire came to say goodbye. They were returning home the following morning.

Meg was sorry to have to part from her father, but as far as her stepmother was concerned, she wished they need never meet again.

Pearl too was sorry to say goodbye to Dr. Greenway. She insisted on taking him off to say goodbye to her pet rabbit also, so Meg was reluctantly left alone with Claire who sat in a garden chair and looked around her with a satisfied smile.

She did not offer to engage in conversation, and Meg resentfully told herself that there was no reason why she herself should take on any social burdens where Claire was concerned. So the silence lengthened out between them, until suddenly Meg spoke, “I suppose you sent Leigh here yesterday.”

“My dear, he didn’t need any sending,” Claire turned that cool, infuriating little smile on her. “I did ask him if he were going to have it out with you, but he told me to mind my own business.” She gave a tolerant little shrug, “However I guessed he meant to come. He was pretty mad, I imagine?”

She asked the question with a careless curiosity which suggested that she had every right to a reply. And, although Meg was sorely tempted to use Leigh’s form of retort, in her turn, instead, she found herself saying,

“Yes. He took a very exaggerated view of the whole thing, I thought.”

Claire laughed slightly.

“Leigh’s a bit naive where women are concerned, in spite of his worldly air. He sets a high standard in friendship himself, and then takes it hard when he doesn’t find the same thing in others.” Her tone so clearly implied that he had been foolish to suppose he would find it in Meg that there seemed to be no way of continuing this conversation on civil lines. So Meg pressed her lips together and remained silent. After a moment or two Claire, with a deceptive air of candor, said, “I’m not going to pretend I’m sorry,
Meg. As I told you before, I don’t think you’re the right girl for Leigh.”

“You may find it difficult to believe me, but I don’t either,” replied Meg dryly.

“Well, that’s fine.” Claire got to her feet as Dr. Greenway and Pearl came around the side of the house, “I hope that’s the way Leigh himself feels when next you meet.”

“We’re not likely to meet,” Meg informed her coldly. “There’s no reason why we should. For my part, I hope I never see him again.”

“Really?” Claire gave a sceptical little laugh. “Shall I tell him that?”

“I really don’t care what you tell him,” Meg retorted.

Then Pearl and her father came up, and they said goodbye once more. The Greenways drove away, leaving Meg feeling forlorn and depressed.

Pearl must have noticed this. In her childish but charming way, she set out to be amusing and cheerful. When Felicity came in earlier than usual and announced that she was going to an informal party at the home of Max Trenton’s relations, she exclaimed, “Oh, Mommy, take Meg too. She’s feeling very sad because her father’s gone away, and that horrid stepmother didn’t once say how pleased she’d be if Meg came home sometimes.”

“Pearl darling—” Meg was both touched and taken aback “—you mustn’t say such things.”

“But it’s true. You are feeling miserable, aren’t you?” And she snuggled up against Meg with a friendly air that was extraordinarily consoling.

“Well—” began Meg. But Felicity broke in goodhumoredly, “I’ll take you, of course. Pearl’s quite right. You probably need cheering up.”

“Thank you, but I couldn’t think of coming. I haven’t been invited, and I don’t even know the people,” Meg protested.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s not that sort of party,” Felicity declared. “And anyway, I can take anyone I like,” she added, with her usual charming certainty that it was for her to make her own rules. “Max says it’s an enormous house, and I’m sure no one really decided how many of us from the company were coming. One more or less won’t matter. You’re my secretary or companion or something, if it comes to that.”

Meg was still not entirely convinced, but, as usual, Felicity had her way. And when Max Trenton came later to fetch her, he too insisted that of course Meg must come, if she would like to.

The house in which the party was held was one of the large, solid country places which are dotted all over the north of England—relics of an era, when fortunes were large and income tax was low.

Meg guessed that, at the time when it was built, there had probably been a staff of maids and butlers. Now, although there were every sign of wealth, entertaining was informal. The guests drifted in and out of the large, handsome rooms at will, and supper was set on a long buffet table in a room overlooking the terrace and garden.

Felicity was, of course, welcomed most cordially by the Trentons, but Meg too was welcomed and made to feel that she was a charming addition to the party.

One of the daughters of the house, who introduced herself as Laura, whisked her off immediately, to have something to eat and drink, declaring that “one always feels more sociable over plates and glasses.”

“Are you in movies?” she inquired, as she helped Meg liberally to the food.

“Oh no!” Meg laughed protestingly. “I couldn’t act to save my life. I look after Miss Manners’ little girl. And your cousin kindly asked me along this evening.”

This was streamlining the form of invitation somewhat, but Laura Trenton said immediately, “I’m so glad he did. She’s lovely, isn’t she? Felicity Manners, I mean.”

“Yes, and she’s a darling too,” Meg replied warmly.

“Not temperamental?” Laura Trenton looked half amused, half inquiring, as she handed Meg her well-filled plate.

“No more so than anyone else who lives on her nerves and provides entertainment for an exacting public,” Meg declared loyally. “I think if anyone can provide a unique performance of any sort, it’s asking too much that she should also switch to being a cosy little housewife as well. The gifts required for one thing are totally different from those required for the other.”

“You’re a star-gazer,” Laura Trenton declared goodhumoredly. “But I know what you mean. I feel the same. I like my stars to be unusual. Maybe that’s why I don’t mind when Max is a bit moody,” she added with seeming irrelevance. And she sighed slightly.

She’s in love with Max,
thought Meg, with a flash of intuition.
Oh dear, I hope he and Felicity don’t decide that they’re made for each other.

Aloud, she said, “He’s a brilliant producer, isn’t he?” Not that she had the slightest idea whether he was or not, but she saw that the girl was dying to talk about him.

“No; he’s not really,” was the unexpected reply. “He’s talented, and he’s a perfect darling. But he’s just going through the arty stage which his sensitive type often does. Oddly enough, what he’s really brilliant at is business, and my father would very much like to have him in the family firm. But he won’t hear of it. I think he just has to work this artistic streak out of his system first.” Again she sighed involuntarily.

“I expect he will,” Meg said soothingly. “Unless one is madly good at something, one tends to return to one’s own natural element.”

“Ye-es, I suppose you’re right. But—” Laura glanced at the lovely, glowing Felicity “—I only hope he doesn’t get hurt first.”

Meg privately thought Max was tougher than Laura seemed to feel, but she didn’t suggest it. Instead she remarked that Felicity was basically not unkind.

Laura laughed at that. “You do have a nice mixture of humor and tolerance in your attitude to your employer,” she declared. “I suppose that’s the way one has to be if one wants to get along with show people.”

“I suppose,” Meg said. “Though I haven’t had much experience of this life yet. I’ve only been in Felicity’s household for a week or two. I must say it’s fascinating, if a little unpredictable. I’ll be left in charge when they go to Spain next week, and though I don’t really mind the responsibility, I have a feeling that she might decide to go off around the world suddenly. The first I’d hear of it, would be an affectionate cable from Hong Kong. Still I expect I’ll cope all right.”

“Are you staying in the district?” Laura inquired.

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