Reluctant Surrender (36 page)

“I have.”

“Do you even know if she can handle it? Have you had an official scene with her?”

Ethan shook his head.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, E, and it’s not very chivalrous either. I saw the way she looked at you yesterday. She’s falling. Fast. And you’re letting her tumble by being someone you’re not. Why? Are you worried she won’t like the real you? The total Dom you usually are?”

“No, I’m worried that when it comes to her, Dom won’t be enough.”

Ted fell back in his chair and scowled. Once he got his head around that bomb he said, “You better work this shit out, E. One way or another she needs to see the unbridled, no-holds-barred side of you. Better to do it now while she’s under your control than later when she’s home, you know?”

Ted’s advice was all Ethan thought about until he got back to the boathouse and found Colin. Seeing her there at the end of the hall, beautifully presented and waiting for him naked in second position he knew what needed to be done.

“Very good, Colin. Eyes down.”

Chapter Twenty

Colin let the husky pleasure of Ethan’s tone embrace her. Feed her. Blanket her with a thrill of comfort she was coming to crave. He wanted things from her that she wanted to give only to him and tonight she was ready to show him just how willing she was.

He’d been patient and kind. Loving and more careful with her than the man she’d almost married, so why not? He’d persistently asked for her trust while never pushing her beyond the invisible boundaries she’d set. It gave her peace of mind and bolstered her confidence enough that she was willing to leave modesty out of the equation and seize the opportunity to let go. To let him take over. To let him own her moments from now until morning came. Then she could take stock and examine how she fared, but for right now her well-being rested in his hands. She’d read about complete surrender and she was sure she could do it with him. She needed to try because they only had one more day together and given an evening away from him she’d been left thinking about all the possibilities. And what did she think about getting her kink on with him? Well…

The very idea was liberating. She wanted to tell him so, but then he walked right by her and rummaged through a kitchen drawer. When he returned her heart skipped a beat and she almost said something, but he spoke first.

“You’re beautiful.” His hand stroked her cheek as he circled around and stopped behind her. “Positioned just right. Stay where you are and let me look at you.”

She kept her gaze to the floor while her pulse hammered and the silky fine hairs on her skin raised and prickled. He was looking at her. Admiring her and for the very first time in her life she didn’t feel ashamed of her nakedness. She didn’t feel shy either because she knew by his tone he appreciated the sight of her, but more than that, she trusted him. He wanted to see her this way. She was making him happy being in this state and that was more than enough for her. Pleasure conquered discomfort.

He bent down and his voice rumbled in her ear. “Do you want to really play with me tonight?”

“Yes.”

“I’m glad. I think you’re ready. Are you going to be a brave girl for me?”

“Um-hmm.”

“I see you’ve closed the drapes again. That’s not very brave of you. Do the boaters out there bother you?”

She didn’t want to say yes because he’d call her on it, but it was a double-edged sword. If she said no he’d probably call her on that too. “Y-yes.”

“Tonight I want to take away your fear. It will be a challenge for both of us. Are you up to it?”

He put his palm against her cheek and she leaned into it. “Yes, I am.”

“Good girl, Colin. Good girls get rewarded. Remember that.”

She pressed a kiss into his palm and then nodded.

“Shut your eyes. That’s right.”

He moved in close. The soft cotton of his pants touched her shoulder blades as he gathered her hair away from her face and smoothed it back.

“I’m going cover your eyes. I’m going to tie this material tightly around your head. I’ll be careful not to catch your hair in the knot, but if it’s too tight or uncomfortable you tell me immediately, understood?”

She couldn’t nod because his hand was anchored in her hair. “Yes.”

“And remember what I said about good girls, Colin. I want you to be a good girl. I want to reward you.”

As he spoke he tied the blindfold around her eyes. As promised, he was careful not to catch her hair up. The pressure from the tie was almost comforting until she realized she was forced to darkness. Then the nerves set in.

“Ethan?”

“Tonight I want you to call me Sir.”

She hadn’t counted on that. She didn’t think she’d ever be ready to defer to him that way. Vaguely she wondered if this could be one of her hard limits. Biting her lip, she debated. Even though she’d called him “Sir” before when they were doing the tapas samples, that was pretend. This was real and she simply didn’t want to say it.

“Are you defying me before we even get started?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” He placed a hand on her chest just above her breasts and pushed. She tried not to shift from the force, but when she did her back was pressed against his leg.

“Relax. I got you. Now talk to me.”

The warmth of his palm on her naked skin got anticipation bubbling and churning inside her. She was careful to keep her breathing steady and slow until he whispered, “Talk. Trust me.”

The way he said those last two words caused all hell to break loose inside her. The muscles between her legs tightened and thrummed to a fevered pitch, coaxing some serious liquid fire to spill down the inside of her thighs. Until she’d met him and his stingers she had no idea a body could be trained to betray the conscious mind.

“Ethan…”

His hand slid up her chest to her throat. He held on to her, gently applying pressure as he said, “Sir, remember?” When she remained silent he ordered, “Say it.”

“I-I don’t want to.”

His hold on her remained just as it was while the mint of his breath heated her cheek as he leaned over her. “What you want is of no consequence. It’s what I desire that matters. I want you to honor me, Colin. I want you to have faith in me. I am your world tonight. Do as I tell you and you’ll please me.”

She licked her lips and brought her hand up. Resting her palm over his, she whispered, “You sound different. Stern. I’m afraid.”

“Put your hand back into position. Good.” He brushed his jaw against her cheek. “Fear is the prisoner of the heart, isn’t that what you told me? Isn’t that what you believe?”

She nodded, too shaken up to speak.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Colin. You have good cause to be scared. Not by what I’m going to do to you, but what I’m going to do
for
you because I’m going to open up the cell door tonight so you can walk in freedom. Free from the fear that holds you back and in exchange for this gift I want to be acknowledged. I want the respect that is due me. I want you to use the honorific title Sir, because tonight I’m going to be better than Ethan White. I’m going to be better than just a man for you. I am going to be The Man for you. I’m going to be your Dom. Do you understand?”

“I—”

“Shh. I want you to think about what I’ve said before you answer. Think about what it means and when I come back I want your decision. I’m not going to force you, but neither will I excuse you. I’ll play with you, Colin, but I won’t let you get off unless you acknowledge me properly.”

When he let go of her she swayed. It took her a minute to collect herself and when she did she sensed he was gone. Her relief didn’t last because worry set in. Could she give him everything and let him have the night? It had seemed like a great idea when she talked herself into it earlier, but then he’d come home all dark and moody. It was as if he were a different person now.

I’m going to be better than Ethan White tonight
, he’d said. Was such a thing even possible? She didn’t think so and she was going to prove it to him. He wouldn’t let a little thing like one word, three letters, really, stand between them and the great sex they’d been enjoying.

“Ooh!” She gave an involuntary jerk when she heard the drapes snap open.

“There’ll be no hiding tonight. From me or anyone else who cares to watch.”

She heard a scrape and a bang as the floor vibrated beneath her knees. She tried to visualize. Tried to stay focused so she could guess what he was doing, but then he was beside her. Tilting up her chin. Fitting something hard and cold around her neck. Buckl— Oh my God, he was buckling a collar around her. Wasn’t he supposed to ask permission before he did that? Suddenly all her liberating ideas and the recollection of the great sex between them went out the window and she panicked.

“Ethan I—”

“Quiet.” Something fell across her right breast and skated sideways to land in her cleavage. When the end settled just above her abdomen she knew what it was. It was an attached leather leash. But then his hand was on her shoulder. Reassuring her. Calming her in such a way that she thought she could get him to bend on the sir thing. She was sure of it.

“Have you thought about what I expect from you tonight?”

“Yes.” She was suddenly glad for the blindfold. Eager to remain in darkness. Covered. Protected from his steely and prying eyes. Maybe now he wouldn’t learn her secrets so fast…or see her defiance so well.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Ethan.”

He hissed in a breath. No doubt shocked by her response. In a flash he took hold of her upper arm and pulled her to stand. “Does this mean you don’t want to play with me? Are you that scared?”

“No. No, I’m not scared. Not anymore.” She shook her hair behind her shoulders, unsure where the bravado came from. “I’ve decided to be practical. I’ve told you how I feel about the sir thing so, if you want that kind of respect from me, you’re going to have to earn it.”

He laughed. That low and dirty one she told him she hated, but secretly loved. “No Topping from the bottom, Colin. Maybe I should put you in time out for trying.”

She mouthed the word “wow” and hoped he saw it.

He saw it all right. He grabbed the back of her hair and pulled until her face was tilted toward the ceiling. “What’s with the sass?”

She imagined he was looking down at her as she licked her lips and said, “I’m not trying to be sassy. I don’t want to call you sir, but I don’t want to use up my safe word.”

“Use up?” She heard the smile in his voice and it made her mad. Did he think this was funny? She was serious about this.

“As a Dom aren’t you up to the challenge? How hard can it be to get a woman like me to respect you? If you’re as good as you say you are it shouldn’t take long and we’ll both be happy.”

He crushed his mouth against the side of her face and ground out, “Colin, you’re walking on very thin ice. If you only knew what I had in mind to do to you—”

“Do it. Go ahead, I trust you. I know you won’t harm me, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to call you sir. I won’t. Nope. On the list of things I don’t want to do, calling you sir is sandwiched between a trip to the dentist for back-to-back root canals and going into my local IRS office to be audited.”

He released a heavy breath against her cheek and growled, “Nerves.”

She nearly wilted when he let go of her hair and stepped away.

“Of course I’m—”

In a snap he pressed two fingers over her lips, effectively silencing her, and said, “Stop talking. Stand right where you are. I don’t care that you can’t see the floor. I want your head bowed toward it anyway.”

She did as he told her, figuring if she did all that he asked besides the one thing he’d let her off the hook. But then the longer she stood there the more worry engulfed her. She could hear him moving around the room. He was in the kitchen for a time. In and out of the refrigerator, drawers and cabinets. He may have even left the room, she couldn’t be sure. But then he moved into the space behind her. She heard clinking, not like glass, like metal, and she gulped. She hadn’t realized she was trembling until she felt the leather leash banging against her stomach. She was trembling, all right, but not with fear. She was alive with excitement. He’d know it too, because her breasts always gave her away.

“There,” he said, coming in close and picking up the previously deserted leash. “Now tell me. Do you know how I handle bratty behavior?” He gave the leash a tug, but not hard enough to pull her forward, just hard enough to gain her attention. “I deny you pleasure. It’s a basic concept, but one I find very effective. Just as good girls are rewarded, bratty girls are punished. So the question in my mind is,” he brought his forehead down to hers, “which concept will earn me your respect faster? Pain or the denial of pleasure? My guess?” He sighed and it was a long and weary one. “You’ll need a fair measure of both before you give in to me.”

“
If
I give in.” Jesus Christ, why didn’t he gag her? For the love of God, she could use the help.

His head lifted away from hers at the same time as one of his huge hands fisted in her hair. This time he tugged so hard her eyes watered beneath the blindfold. “You’ll give in, Colin. Because I want you to. More so now than before. This means something to you. It’s a sticking point that’s got to give.”

He let go of her so abruptly she cried out.

Ignoring her, he explained, “I’m going to turn you and we’re going to walk into the great room, around the couch to the coffee table.” As he spoke they started moving. “I’ve placed the coffee table closer to the window and when we get to it I’m going to bend you over it so your palms are flat against the surface with your arms braced shoulder width apart and I want your ass in the air and on display.”

“With the drapes open?” She whispered because she didn’t want to hear the answer she was sure he was going to give, but he gave it anyway.

“Yes, but there will be no more talking, Colin. You will speak when you’re asked to do so or if you need to use your safe word.” He pulled back on the leash to get her to stop. “Nod if you understand. Good.”