Reluctant Surrender (32 page)

It wasn’t until the carpet pile became a blur that she finally whispered, “I will. I’ll do anything. What do you want me to do?”

“I already told you. I want you to relax. Once you do, we’ll begin.”

The carpet came into focus and her eyes widened with the thought. They were going to stay like this until she relaxed? Dammit.

For a full minute she didn’t move and neither did he. It gave her a chance to regroup and concentrate on relaxing. The fact that he calmly sat behind her and didn’t touch her or speak allowed her to get comfortable with not only her position but her nakedness. When she did the tension left her body. Soon she was breathing at a normal pace and even her nipples did a stand-down.

“I love it when you do as I tell you.” Ethan’s big hand wrapped around her midsection and splayed over her belly with a possessive squeeze.

So much for nipples standing down. She quivered.

“All I want to do is touch you. That’s all.”

She closed her eyes and without a word or a protest, without a gasp or a moan settled herself while his hands roved over her. Over her breasts, her belly, her hips and thighs. He leaned down and grasped her ankles tight and when the blood collected there he let go and brought his strong hands slowly up. Over her calves. Behind her knees. Between her legs until he reached her center.

“Mmm…you’re hot. Hot and wet.” His fingers slid over her. “Spread your knees a little wider. I want to feel all of you. Perfect.”

He didn’t give her a breather as he anchored her hip with one hand while he used his other to torment her aching clit. The area was oversensitive from the clamp earlier and responded immediately. The idea that he knew this made her shake and quake as he increased pressure until it was too much and she moaned.

“Shh,” he intoned as he redoubled his efforts against her. “Spread your knees wider. Flex forward. Do it. I’ve got you.”

And he did. With one arm locked around her, his other was free to cause zings and twangs. Lust-filled pangs, hard and demanding, landed in her belly and drained right between her legs with a powerful ache. She tightened her grip on the bed and breathlessly sought him. “Ethan…?”

“I’m here. Right here.”

“Can I-I let go of the footboard and turn around?”

He stopped all movement. One hand still held her hip, but his other was wrapped around her thigh. The rest of him had eased away from her. Had she done something wrong?

“Thank you for asking for permission. Yes, you may.”

He let go of her and leaned back in the chair. For a few seconds she wasn’t sure what had happened. Then his words sank in. She was giddy with relief. She could face him now and maybe she’d persuade him to participate.

With that in mind she turned. Catching him as he shrugged out of his shirt. God, what a body he had. Ripped and bulging. He was tanned, she noticed, just before she went right for his fly.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk.”

She looked up.

“Please me another way,” he said.

And for the life of her she had no idea what that meant. “No Kraken?” She tried to keep the nose scrunch to a minimum, but it was a hard habit to break and now really wasn’t the time to be working miracles.

“No, but you may,” he spread his legs open and folded his arms over his chest, “go to my nightstand and get a condom to put on me.”

Yeah, but that would entail her getting up. Naked. In broad daylight. “Don’t you have one in your wallet?”

He shook his head.

She steeled herself because now wasn’t a good time for her shoulders to slump. On shaky legs she got up, squared those shoulders and went to retrieve the condom. When she returned to him she sank down between his knees and held it out.

“No, Colin, I want you to put it on me.”

She looked at him, down at the condom packet and back up at him. Should she tell him she’d never really had a close-up look at one? That she certainly had never helped to install one? Nah. She could wing it. Millions of people did this every day. If they could so could she.

She undid his pants and pulled on them. After a few unsuccessful tugs he showed some pity on her and pushed them off. In one quick move he’d tossed them aside before he eased back in the curve on the upholstered chair, teeing his arms over the back, like a king surveying his kingdom.

“You have—” She licked her lips and dropped her gaze right to his lap. “An awesome body.”

“Colin?”

She heard him but it was as if she were stuck in a trance.

“Colin.” This time she looked up. “Put the condom on me.”

She nodded and her stupid hands were shaking as she tore open the packet. She figured she was nearly home free until Ethan shifted to one side as she’d reached out to him. “No, not with your hands. I want you to put that on me with your mouth.”

“My—I don’t know how to do that.”

“I’ll show you.” He took the condom out of the packet and rolled it a good inch down his length. Once he was snugly capped he leaned back and said, “Use your mouth. Roll it down with the tip of your tongue. Do it.”

She was worried she wouldn’t be able to stretch it over his generous girth, but she’d try. She curled down over him and opened her mouth. After a few less-than-graceful flicks she got the hang of it and before she knew it he was pulling her off him. Telling her, “That’s enough.” Telling her to stop. God Lord, she was achy and wet and panting. What the hell just happened? “S-sorry.”

“Come up here.” He lifted her onto his lap so she straddled his thighs. “You have a fine mouth, baby girl.” He put a hand to her neck and stroked her. “Your throat opens for me. I can get deep down here.” He stroked her. “Real deep and I like it there.”

“Ethan.”

He clasped her face in hands and whispered, “I want to go deep somewhere else inside you. Somewhere warm and tight and wet.” He brought a hand down and slipped it between her legs. Finding that place. Stroking it, until with one swift move, two of his fingers slid into her and she nearly passed out.

She grabbed hold of his shoulders.
Ah.
Her head fell back and she arched forward to better ride his hand.

“Nice and easy. All the way down. That’s right. Let me in.” He shifted forward and she saw stars. “Mmm…” he gruffly purred, rubbing his jaw against her shoulder. “So silky and tight.”

She hissed in a breath. Her heart raced as her inner muscles clenched and unclenched while she drenched his hand. “Please…”

“I knew you had perfect rhythm. Keep it up. Soak me.”

Quivering, she did just that.

“You have beautiful nipples. I want you to feed one to me. I want to suck on it.”

She didn’t think, only circled her palm around her breast, which made her cry out. The pleasure-pain that stabbed right through her nipple was wicked and intense. The spasms cascaded through her from chest to toes.

“Come on, don’t be shy.”

If she thought the sensations were intense before, once his hot mouth latched on and suckled her, she nearly bucked right off his lap. With each hard draw, the intimate muscles between her legs contracted with a bolt of pure lust that made her dizzy.

“Fuck me, Ethan. Please…”

He gave her stone-hard nipple one last devastating lick. “Oh yeah, lift up. Let me share your secrets. Look at me.”

She did as he directed, keeping eye contact with him as he helped her to readjust.

“That’s right. Easy. Slow. Relax.”

He fit her over the wide tip of him, spreading her folds as he pushed in. “Ease your muscles. That’s it,” he whispered as his hardness stretched her core. “You can take it. Deep breath in and exhale…”

She slid down on him, slowly, gently as her muscles gave way and allowed him deeper and deeper inside. With each push a new territory opened for him and her adrenaline roared and soared until—

“Oh honey,” he grunted and flexed to fully impale her. “I’m going to have to train you to be more patient.” He ground her down on top of him and sighed. “Your pussy’s so fucking wet and warm. So inviting. So eager.” He grunted again and anchored his hands on her hips.

“Yes! Ethan!” She gasped because now he was the one who controlled the rhythm. The pace. The race to the finish that had her bouncing and sliding. Rocking and riding him until her adrenaline swelled once more. It beat and battered as she lost coherent thought. Until she felt his power explode as he slammed one last time up into her and she burst from inside out, collapsing in his arms.

She didn’t know how long she lay against the rocketing pounds of his chest. She only knew when she’d become conscious of his stillness. Attuned to the quiet in the room, she had a need to be close. Which was silly because how much closer could two people be after having sex like that? But the need was real. It was there and she wasn’t going to deny it.

With one hand still fisted in his hair, she slid the other one around his shoulder and octopused him. “Don’t let go,” she whispered against his neck, worried she’d said too much until his arms closed around her, squeezing her tight.

“Never. This is where you belong.”

* * * * *

Ethan didn’t know precisely what time it was, he was guessing just after midnight. Even though they’d had dinner a few hours ago he’d given her quite a workout so he asked, “Are you hungry?”

Colin inhaled deeply and snuggled closer. “No. You?”

“I’m okay.” He brushed his fingers up and down her forearm and closed his eyes. She felt good in his arms, in his bed.

“Ethan?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask you a question?” Her hand splayed on his chest and began stroking him. He liked that.

“Sure.”

“What made you interested in the lifestyle?”

His eyes opened and he shifted his head off the pillow to peer down at her through the darkness. “Such a big question.” He fell back against the pillow and took a deep breath. “Why do you want to know?”

She started stroking him again. “I was just curious, that’s all.”

“I knew from the time I was a young teenager, but it wasn’t until I was seventeen or so before I started exploring.”

“Must have been a hard time for you without your parents.”

“Ah, so you did do some digging into my history before you came to me.”

“Of course.”

He chuckled. “You are too much.” Kissing the top of her head, he adjusted the covers around them and sighed. “My parents were good people. Had they lived I don’t think they would have passed judgment. Not that I’d be discussing my choices in detail or anything. But I know what you mean.”

She rubbed her cheek over his rapidly beating heart and whispered, “I’m sure. They raised a good son. Is it true you fought for custody of your little brother when you turned eighteen?”

“Yes. I promised them I would.” He frowned. Where had that come from?

“What were they like?”

“Like?” He lay there for a moment, loving how her warm breath fanned the skin on his chest while he thought about his parents. How long had it been since he’d done this? After a few seconds he remembered why he didn’t do it often. It hurt.

“Yes, was your dad tall? Did he have black hair too? What about your mom? Did your dad drive her crazy?”

He chuckled. “To answer your shockingly transparent attempt at stacking up similarities, my dad and I looked very much alike. I think I was taller by a few inches. And, yes, he drove my mom nuts on occasion, but she loved him. I’d say in spite of that, but somehow, now that I’m older, I like to think it was because of that she adored him.”

The minute he started talking about them he couldn’t seem to stop. He spent the next ten minutes sharing intimate stories about his childhood. He surprised himself with the wealth of things he’d remembered about his life when his parents were alive. It was almost as if he were talking about someone else. Some other person’s great family. Until—

“But then that afternoon…” He fell silent and clenched his jaw so tight it ached. He wanted the physical hurt. It distracted him from the real pain.

“Tell me.” Instead of withdrawing and changing the subject as even his closest friends had always done, Colin curled her arm around his waist and burrowed more solidly against him, as though she wanted to share her strength.

Maybe she did and that was why he decided to tell her the one thing he’d never told anyone else. “That afternoon they weren’t going to leave. They were supposed to leave first thing in the morning, but then my little brother threw one of his famous adolescent fits and they toyed with the idea of staying home and canceling their weekend plans. It took me all morning and the better part of the afternoon to convince them to go. You see…”

He could feel his muscles tighten. Colin must have felt it too, because she rubbed her chin against his shoulder and kissed his collarbone in the lightest touch imaginable. Almost as if she didn’t want him to know she’d done it. “I wanted them to go. I promised I’d take care of him. That they didn’t have to worry. I wanted them to go because I’d planned my first kinky sexual encounter and if they’d stayed— If they’d…” He sighed.

“They wouldn’t have been at that intersection? Is that what you’re thinking? I read about that. And they’d still be alive?” Ethan didn’t answer. Instead, he closed his eyes and tried not to choke on the familiar burn that rose like bile in his throat. “It was an accident, Ethan. Bad things happen in life and when they do, we have to accept them.”

He didn’t trust himself to speak, so he grunted.

“Really. I mean, if you applied that kind of logic to the whole scenario your brother’s guiltier than you. He was the reason they hadn’t left early after all.”

His eyes snapped open and he swallowed. No one. No one had ever said that to him. Oh, they may have alluded to it, but it was nice to hear her say it with complete conviction. It was as if a thousand-pound weight had been lifted off his chest. And too, he’d never really looked at the situation from any other angle than the one where he’d talked them into leaving. She was right. Even recognizing it now he couldn’t blame Caleb for their deaths.

You’ve blamed yourself.
He scowled at that thought.

He didn’t realize he was holding his breath either, until he released it. It was the first cleansing breath he’d taken in a long while. It felt good. He took another and another, until his whole body gave in and relaxed. Then he smiled. Colin really was full of surprises.