Replace Me (11 page)

I climbed out of the car and got into mine as fast as I could. Shayne laid his head on his steering wheel as I pulled away. He had me so worked up that I didn’t even realize I’d driven back to Joey’s, until I pulled in the driveway. I’d cried away all my makeup and looked like Hell, so I figured I go talk to Sky. She always knew how to make me feel better.

Unfortunately, they’d gone out with her parents and weren’t home. I sat in my car crying for the longest time, until a motorcycle pulled in, catching my attention. Joey knocked on my window and I wouldn’t look up. He opened my car door and crouched down in front of me. “I’m not goin’ to ask you what happened, but my doors open if it’s where you want to go.”

He walked away, never forcing me to reply. I didn’t understand why he was so nice to me, but I didn’t want to be alone. Once I wiped my eyes and grabbed my bag of clothes from the backseat, I headed into Joey’s. He was in the kitchen and I could smell garlic. I leaned on the wall in between the rooms. “Do you care if I get a shower?”

“My shampoo smells like a man.”

I smiled. “I don’t even care.”

As I entered his bathroom, I could already smell the scent of his shampoo. It reminded me of the way his skin smelled when we kissed. I stripped out of my clothes and let them lay on the bathroom floor. It was pathetic, but I didn’t even have the energy to pick them up. The hot water fell over my head and I wrapped my arms around my body, unable to control my emotions any longer. I began to sob in the shower, thinking about Shayne and everything we’d never have. I don’t know why it hurt more than the first time. I guess I’d built up so much hope of us having a second chance. I wasn’t going to jump into bed with him, but I considered starting off slow. It was definitely over this time. I felt insignificant, like nothing I could do would ever be good enough to make a man want
only
me. I never considered myself bad at sex, albeit it was possible that I was awful and just didn’t know it.

Why else would every boyfriend cheat on me?

I don’t know how long I’d been crying, but I heard the bathroom door open and froze in place. Through the sheer curtain, I could see him standing there, looking at me. He started undressing and it frightened me, because being intimate was the last thing on my mind, especially with him.

He climbed in behind me and pulled my back against his chest. His hands traced my arms until he brought them up across my chest. Joey kissed my shoulder and let his jaw sit there. “I hate hearin’ you cry.”

I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry. I feel like I’m drowning in pain.”

“I won’t ask what happened, but I’m not goin’ to let you cry anymore.” He turned me around and kissed the top of my head. Our eyes met and I couldn’t look anywhere else. He had me completely captivated again.

“I’m sorry I showed up without asking.”

He smiled. “You’re not sorry, Lace. You came to the one place where you knew you could make it all go away.”

Normally, when Joey said things like that, he was being cocky, except this time it was the absolute truth. “I’m not supposed to want you, Joey.”

He smiled and let his lips trace over mine. “I’m not supposed to do a lot of things that I do.”

“I liked it better when you were an asshole. At least then, I knew what to expect from you.”

“I’m still an asshole. Ask anyone.”

“I hate to break it to you, but I think we’re becoming friends.”

“That’s what this is?” He laughed and held me closer. “I’m kiddin’.”

“Just make me forget I ever left your bed this morning. That’s all I want from you.”

He raised his eyebrow. “So, you want to use me?”

“Isn’t that what you want from me? Isn’t it about being able to say you had me?” Even in the shower, I could feel the heat building between my legs again. “Havin’ you was never a question.” His wet hands ran down my arms as the conflicted look on his face remained.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

His face changed as he spun me around again. With my back to him, I couldn’t read him, which was exactly what he wanted. He picked up the bar of soap and ran it over my back, creating a lather, as he massaged it into my skin. As his hand made its way to my ass, I heard him groan. He put the soap down and kissed me on the shoulder, while the water rinsed off the remaining soaps suds. I was shocked when he began to climb back out of the shower, so shocked that I pulled the curtain and looked out at him.

“What just happened?”

He wrapped a towel around his waist, before I could look down at his package that I’d yet to see. “Nothin. Take your time, Lace. I’ll be out here when you’re done.”

I was puzzled and didn’t know what I could have done to make him want to get out and leave me hanging. One minute he had his hands all over me and the next he was walking away. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was something that I’d done wrong.

Still, I did as he said and let the water wash away my tears. Once Joey walked away, my mind went right to Shayne. I was so overwhelmed with sadness knowing that we’d never be together again. My mind had been made up and there was no way that I could allow him back into my life, when it was clear he couldn’t be honest, or even faithful.

When the water started to run cold, I knew I’d been in the shower too long. My skin was beginning to prune up and soften. I climbed out and wrapped myself in a towel, noticing that a clean folded t-shirt was sitting on the sink waiting for me.

I shook off a smile, knowing that Joey had come into the bathroom to give me something comfortable to wear, even though I had a bag of things that I’d brought with me.

Maybe he did it because he got off seeing a woman in his clothes. Either way, I pulled his shirt over my head and smelled the fabric. His cologne still lingered faintly and it gave me comfort knowing that I wasn’t going to be alone.

Even though I was still confused about his intentions, Joey was being nice to me. He wasn’t pushing me to do anything.

I found him on the couch with a plate of food on his lap. He was sucking up a noodle in his mouth as I walked into the room. “Do you like pasta?”

“I love it.” Even with my mind focused on so many other things, I knew I needed to force myself to eat. Besides, I knew it was going to taste fantastic.

“I made homemade sauce the other night. It’s sweeter than the jar.” He stood up and went into the kitchen, coming back out with a plate full of noodles and red sauce.

I sat down on the other side of him and wrapped a bunch of noodles around my fork. Joey watched as I took a bite. The sudden burst of flavor was like an orgasm in my mouth, and from the look on his face, he knew I was in love with his cooking.” Ain’t it good?”

“It’s delicious. I’m impressed. Did you always want to be a cook?”

He shrugged and took another bite before answering. “My mom has ran that diner my whole life. I guess it’s in my blood. I think I started working there when I was twelve. Since it was all I ever learned to do, she sent me to culinary school and the rest is history.”

“Sky made it seem like you and Ford bickered about everything. I couldn’t believe you moved in to this place.”

“He’s my cousin, but we like to compete, that’s no secret. Since we’ve gotten older it doesn’t happen so much. We have more in common than he likes to admit, like fast cars and sexy women.”

“Are you saying he isn’t faithful?” That was how his comment came out.

“No! He’s whipped. Ford won’t screw up what he’s got. He went too long in misery to let anything bad happen to him and Sky. She’s a great girl.”

I took another bite and answer with a full mouth. “Yeah, she’s awesome.”

“That is not ladylike.” He pointed to my full mouth.

I opened it, showing him my chewed up food. “Ahhhh.”

Joey took a large bite, chewed it up, and did the same thing. Then he looked down and let it fall back onto his plate.

I pretended to gag. “Sick!”

We both laughed.

He quickly changed the subject. “What about you? Do you have a job besides school?”

“Nope, I’m just in school full time. Eventually I’d like to have my own accounting firm, but that’s just wishful thinking.”

He looked shocked. “Wow, I never would have pegged you for a math nerd.”

I lifted up my foot and kicked him. “Shut up! I never would have pegged you for someone who was nice enough to be decent to me like you’ve been. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with being smart.”

Joey sat his plate down on the coffee table and leaned back on the couch. “True. So, do you live on campus?”

“I did for a bit, but now I’m more like a nomad. I stay between here and my parent’s house. Since Sky’s back from her other school, we’ve been able to spend more time together. I really missed her being away.”

“Did you just call yourself a nomad?”

I smiled. “I did. It seems fitting. I don’t buy groceries or clean. My clothes are in duffle bags or laundry baskets.”

“You know I have an extra room, with a bed in it. You can stay here whenever you want. Shit, I don’t even care if you use the closet in there.”

He really threw me a loop by saying that. “Are you asking me to move in here? Do I look like live in pussy to you?”

Joey was taking a sip of a beer and it went flying out of his mouth. “Jesus Christ, woman. I didn’t say that at all. I said you could crash here , in my guest room. My mom brought over an old set. It ain’t much, but it’s a bed” Then he smiled. “Unless you’re offerin’ somethin’ else.”

I kicked him again. “I’m not!”

“I’m just sayin’. This is my first place. It’s great, but I’m not used to livin’ alone. Aside from you fightin’ me every ten seconds, we get along. I wouldn’t mind if you stayed every once in a while. Of course, if we had that kind of arrangement, we would have to discuss this new friendship.”

“You don’t get sex because I sleep in your guest room.”

“Nah, it would be the opposite. If you stayed here that much, we could only be friends; the kind that doesn’t sleep together.”

I was shocked. Joey had fought so hard to sleep with me and now he was saying that he didn’t want to. I sat my plate down and scooted over toward him, grabbing the waist of his shorts and pulling them out. “You mean to tell me that even if I begged you to fuck me, you wouldn’t do it?”

He nodded. “Yep. Relationships complicate things. I like my life and don’t want drama. You’re fun to be around and if we took things there, it would change. If I slept with you last night, or today, I probably wouldn’t have offered for you to sleep here when you wanted to. In fact, I know I wouldn’t have. It’s a big boundary that I don’t like crossin’.”

I wasn’t willing to take that for an answer, so I climbed on top of him, straddling his legs. He kept his arms at his sides, not responding to my body. When he refused to react, I rocked my hips forward and then backward.

He still didn’t react.

The more Joey fought me, the more determined I was to be with him, which was ironic, since I’d fought him for so long. I climbed off of him and removed my panties, stepping out of them before climbing back on his lap. I ran the back of my hand up his bare chest and brought my lips to his ear. “This doesn’t make you want me?”

His hands remained flat on the sofa, but I could feel something hard protruding against me. I brought my lips to his and grazed over them. “What about kissing?”

He grumbled and tried to readjust without touching me. “You’re playin’ with fire.”

I grazed his lips again. “I know you want this to happen. Are you afraid you won’t be as good as you say you are?”

His hands immediately grabbed onto either side of my ass. “Trust me, that’s not what I’m worried about.”

I pulled back and looked right at him. “What then?”

He patted me and lifted my weight off of him. I felt rejected again, but in a concerned way this time. Something was off with Joey and I didn’t understand it. “We need to just be friends. If you sleep with me, right now, you’ll hate yourself in the mornin’. This ain’t about you wantin’ me, it’s about Shayne. If you were someone else, I’d already have you in bed, givin’ you all I have to offer, but I can’t do it with you.”

I hated that he’d brought up Shayne. “Why? What’s wrong with me? Why am I different? Am I all used up or something?”

Joey leaned back and wiped his face with his hands. “This is why I don’t get serious.” He finally turned to look at me and I couldn’t help notice that he seemed conflicted again. “You think we met for the first time in Ford’s apartment upstairs, don’t you?”

I nodded.

He shook his head. “That ain’t when I first noticed you. I saw you with Shayne several times and knew I wanted you even then, but also knew it was wrong. You were taken and seemingly happy.” He looked down, like he was ashamed to continue. “When I found out you’d broke up, I was happy, because I knew I could make a play at you. The more I got around you, the more I realized you were different. I’d never seen someone that made my dick hard with just a smile. Those deep dimples of yours make me fuckin’ crazy. When you’re sad, I find myself carin’ and wantin’ to make you forget. It scares the shit out of me knowin’ that I can’t fuck you, because I know I’d get lost in you, Lacey. I’m too damn stubborn to do it to myself. I’m happy where I am in life. I don’t want complicated.”

My body was shaking and I wasn’t sure what to say to his confession. He’d noticed me before I knew he existed. He’d wanted me even back then and the reason that we weren’t in his bed was because he actually cared about me and it scared him.

I was speechless.

“You need to put on them panties and stop messin’ with me, because we both know what’s goin’ to happen if you don’t.”

So, I did what my heart and my body told me to do.

I stood up and walked in front of him, lifted off the shirt I was wearing, and walked into his bedroom. When I turned around he was staring at me in shock. “This isn’t about Shayne anymore and you know it. You think I could leave this morning and not think about how it makes me feel to touch you. When you kiss me, my body reacts like it never has before. I should be crying about a failed relationship, but at the end of the day, being with you is all I can think about. I’m tired of fighting myself and lying to you. I won’t be in the guest room, although I appreciate that offer. I’ll be waiting in your bed. When you’re ready to face me and get lost in whatever this is going on between us, you know where to find me.”