Rescue Me (a quirky romance novel about secrets, forgiveness and falling in love) (16 page)

She watched Heidi's face for a sign of understanding. When there wasn't any, she leaned closer. "Heidi. You listen to me. You can kick my ass all over the state if you fight this thing and win. You got that? I'll give you a run for your money. I won't let you win, like I did when we played basketball in the driveway..."

Tears stung her eyes. She drew in a ragged breath, trying to fight the urge to cry, but failing. Hot water tickled her face as it dribbled down to her chin. She impatiently swiped at the droplets. "Good thing you're not awake to see me now. Here I am crying like a baby. You'd just love to see that, wouldn't you?" She chuckled, remembering how many times they'd fought, and how many times Heidi had called her the ice queen because she didn't cry.

Well, she was crying now. But she felt colder and more alone than she'd ever felt.

"You know that not-crying thing was just an act, something I'm sure I picked up from Mom. Mom missed her true calling. She should have been a movie star. Hell, we should all be in L.A. Messed up--each of us--just like they are. We'd fit right in. The weather's much nicer, though."

She stared down at Heidi and watched the slow rise and fall of her chest. If only she'd open her eyes. If only she hadn't become sick. If only Hailey hadn't destroyed her life five years ago...

"I swear I'll make it up to you. You hear me? I will make it up to you. You wake up. Tell me what you want. I'll do it. Whatever you say. I'll move to Alaska if you want."

A shiver quaked her, the thought of snow and ice, endless night, making the cold capsule encasing her heart even more frigid.

"I love you," she said, lifting her hand from Heidi's. She wiped away more tears and turned toward the door. All she wanted was some quiet time. Peace. Then again, with the jumble of memories, painful and bittersweet, tugging at her heart, maybe going somewhere loud and distracting would be better.

She'd always liked to hide in a crowd. For some reason, the more chaotic, the more crowded and loud a place was, the safer she felt.

Rainer's face was the first greeting her when she returned to the corridor. Margaret was nowhere to be found.

He stepped forward, his expression intense, his gaze fixed to hers. "Okay?"

She nodded as she pulled the mask from over her mouth. "Can we get out of here?"

"Sure."

Grateful, she pulled off the gloves and plunged them into the nearest trashcan before reaching back and working the thick laces for the surgical mask. They were knotted, and she grew irrationally annoyed, yanking on them but making the knots tighter.

"Here. Let me help," he offered, taking her shoulders in his hands and turning her around.

The skin at the back of her neck tingled as he worked the knots. She stared into a nearby nurse's eyes as she tried to force out the crazy thoughts dancing through her mind.

She'd just visited her sick sister. What the hell was she thinking? Her body warmed. Her skin became ultra sensitive. The nurse looked away, making Hailey even more self-conscious. She stepped away from Rainer, her hand at the back of her neck. "I'll get it. Thanks anyway." She felt around, but soon realized the mask was gone.

"I got it."

As she turned around, she caught a flash of something in his eyes before he walked to the garbage can and tossed it in. By the time he faced her, his look was appropriately professional.

And she was relieved.

Or was she? "Ready?" she asked, anxious to get out of the hospital, anxious to get into some muggy summer air, and anxious to leave before her mother returned from where ever she'd gone.

"Yes, I'm ready." He nodded a silent goodbye to the group of nurses and doctors gathered at the counter and led her to the elevator. After punching the down button, he stared silently at the silver doors, and Hailey eagerly did the same, too afraid to speak, too afraid to think. Too afraid to figure out exactly what she was feeling.

And they didn't speak a word to each other until they were outside, settling into Rainer's car, the leather hot under Hailey's rear. She shifted. "Damn, it's hot."

"Yeah. The weather this time of year is miserable. A few more weeks and it'll be better."

"I remember. I grew up here, you know," she reminded him with a smile.

He looked at her as he started the engine. "You're acting really strange. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. What do you mean, strange?"

"I don't know..." His searching gaze only made things worse. It was so probing.

Her face heated, and she turned from him, grateful for the dark interior of the parking structure. "Can we get back to the house? I left my cell phone, and I need to make some calls."

"Sure." He drove in silence, the hour taking much longer than it should, and giving Hailey ample time to recall her sister's ashen face and her subsequent desperate plea.

It should be her in that bed.

When she walked into Rainer's front door, she made a hasty dash up the staircase to her room, and was greeted by her phone's message alert jingling cheerily through the room. She wasn't surprised to discover the message was from Pete. A little worried by the tone in his voice, she dialed the shelter's number. Andrew answered, his voice's usual happy-go-lucky tone a little grating today. She asked him how things were going, how Jensen and her puppies were faring, then asked to speak to Pete when he gave her a rundown of the mundane details of the past twenty-four hours.

Pete, on the other hand, didn't sound happy at all. In fact, she was alarmed the minute he said, "Hi, Hailey."

"What's wrong?" she asked, not caring to mince words.

"Well, there's been another setback."

She sat on the bed. "What kind of setback?"

"You sitting down?"

"For God's sake, just spit it out!"

"Barrington's check was rubber."

"No!" She fell back onto the bed. "Rubber? How? I thought it already cleared."

"I called the bank. They've been contacted by the IRS. That's all they would tell me."

"That bitch--" she stopped herself. She'd known Tonya's husband was more than a little shady. And Tonya had mentioned some problems with the IRS. But she'd never expected this.

What would she do now? No land. The vast majority of her capital gone. Where would she turn?

"Are you still there?" Pete asked.

"Yeah. I'm here."

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you this. Not now, with whatever else you're dealing with--"

"It's okay."

"--we can find other sources--"

"Maybe."

"--we won't give up."

"You won't." She reached over and dragged the blanket over herself. "I don't know if I'm up to fighting this anymore. Maybe we should shelve the whole project for a while."

"You don't really believe that, do you?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"You never give up. What's going on?"

"I can't talk about it." She rolled onto her side and pulled more of the coverlet over herself. It was so damn cold in the house. She felt chilled throughout. Hollow, empty, frigid, dead.

"I wish I were with you."

"It's okay. I need you to help Andrew. I appreciate your help."

"You're the worst liar I've ever known."

"I'm not lying."

He sighed. "Well, I'll see you in a few days or so?"

"Yeah. Maybe a week. I'm waiting to see how things work out here. I'll tell you about it when I get back. Okay?"

"Fair enough. But I warn you, if you don't come home in seven days, I'm coming out there. You can't hide from me."

"I'm not hiding from you, Pete."

"You've never stopped hiding."

"Gotta go. I'll talk to you soon."

"I love you, Hailey."

Hailey paused. She'd been friends with Pete for almost five years, but he'd never said those words before. What kind of love did he mean? He couldn't mean... Darn it, she didn't need another earth-shattering revelation right now. "You're a good friend, and I'm grateful..." she let her sentence trail off. She sounded so insensitive.

"It's okay. You don't have to say it back."

"I'm such a bitch. I don't know why you'd...you'd feel that way."

"Because you're a bitch?" he said with a chuckle. "Take care of yourself. I'll see you in seven days, one way or another."

"Bye." She hit the phone button and ended the call. Then she rolled over and buried her head under the pillow. Could things get any more complicated?

Couldn't she hide here for the next few years? Hide from all the messes she'd created. People whose lives she'd destroyed by thinking about only herself.

Now, she could add Pete to the list.

A deep voice sounded in Hailey's ear, easing its way into her dreams. It called her name, and only then did she realize she was sleeping and opened her eyes.

Rainer's worried gaze greeted her. Not liking his expression, she glanced around the room. It was dark. Ebony stripes cut between the slats of the window blinds. When Rainer leaned back, she sat up.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"Late. Almost eleven. You've been sleeping for hours. I got a little worried. Sorry for waking you up. Do you want to go back to sleep?"

"I'm fine. Jetlag, I guess."

"I'm about to turn in. I have a full day at the office tomorrow. Before I go, do you want me to get you anything? Some tea?"

"Maybe. Do you have anything stronger?"

"Stronger, like how much stronger?"

"Something fermented, maybe?"

He smiled, but his eyes still reflected the concern she'd seen earlier. "I have some wine."

"Perfect."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"No. But, after I have some of that wine I will be."

"I'll be right back."

After he left, she stood, went to her suitcase, which sat on top of the dresser, and rummaged for some sweatpants, a tank top and a sweatshirt. With clothes in hand, she went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, dressed, and let her hair out of her lopsided ponytail.

She shook her head, studying her reflection in the mirror. Sleeping for hours hadn't done a bit of good. She looked as bad as she had before. Maybe worse. Nearly as dead as she felt.

Rainer called her, and she went out to meet him, not surprised to see he held two glasses in one hand. He raised a dark bottle. "Burgundy?"

"At this point, I'd settle for cooking wine."

He sat on the bed, and she sat next to him, taking the glasses. The bottle was already uncorked. He poured the deep red liquid into the glasses, then set the bottle on the nightstand.

"Shall we toast?" he asked as she handed him a glass.

"Toast? I'm not in the mood for a toast."

"Okay. I propose a toast, then. How about to healing?"

"To healing." She raised her glass, then brought it to her mouth, purposefully avoiding inhaling it's spicy fragrance. She wasn't a drinker. Didn't even like wine. But, she desperately wanted to feel alive, warm, something...anything. Wine did that. Didn't it?

The first mouthful burned her throat, and she almost spit it out as she struggled not to cough. "Potent stuff," she sputtered.

"It's not cooking wine," Rainer said with a smile. "Not much of a drinker?"

"Nope."

"Well, let me take that from you, then." He leaned toward her.

"Nope." She jerked the glass away before he took it, then drank fast, forcing the liquid down her throat.

Nearly an instant flush heated her face. She thrust the empty glass toward him. "More, please."

He shook his head. "I don't think you need more."

"Look. I'm an adult. I can handle myself, thank you. Now, give me more wine, or I'll go out and buy my own."

"Okay." He swallowed the last gulps of his, then handed his empty glass to her before filling them both again. "What should we toast to this time?" he asked, setting the bottle down and taking his glass from her.

"How about to rescues?"

"Rescues?"

"Don't ask. Just drink."

He shrugged and sipped his wine. She swallowed hers as fast as her throat would allow. It tasted better this time, she realized, licking a droplet clinging to the rim. Exactly the right combination of sweet and dry.

Yes, very tasty.

Within minutes, the room grew stifling. She nudged Rainer in the shoulder. "Take this will ya?" She handed him her glass.

"Had enough?"

"Nope. Just hot. Need to get outta this sweatshirt. She tugged the heavy garment over her head. The world tipped, and she lost her balance, bumping into Rainer. A smirk on his face made her bristle. "What?"

"Nothing."

"That's some strong ass wine," she explained.

"That's some strong language."