Rescue Me (a quirky romance novel about secrets, forgiveness and falling in love) (12 page)

"Heidi doesn't look good. Is she all right?" Margaret whispered to Rainer as they stood outside Heidi's room. Margaret's face was almost as pale as her daughter's. She wrung her hands. "She's blue, for God's sake, and the doctors won't tell me a thing. They say she's handling everything as best she can. What does that mean?"

Rainer walked to the nurse's station and requested Heidi's chart. A young nurse gave him a cursory glance before handing it to him. He scanned the lab reports and notes. "Looks okay to me. She's a little dehydrated, but they've increased her antiemetic and IV fluids. Everything else looks fine."

"No. Something's wrong. Something they're missing. She doesn't look good, and I can't wake her up."

"Hmmm..." he scanned the records again. "Maybe they gave her something to help her sleep." He didn't see an order for anything. "I'll go check on her."

Margaret held his forearm. "Thank you."

He nodded, and the question that had haunted him for days, since he'd watched Hailey climb into the cab, popped into his mind. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What happened between Heidi and her sister? She has never said much about Hailey, other than they don't speak."

Margaret looked toward Heidi's door. "That's because Hailey is dead to her. That was Hailey's idea. Heidi tried for years to talk to her about what happened, but Hailey refused. So, Heidi finally gave up. She hates Hailey for what she's done. And in my opinion, Hailey doesn't deserve her forgiveness. She doesn't deserve anyone's forgiveness." Her voice was razor sharp, and he wondered how often it had sliced at both daughters' souls.

"Don't you think you're being a little hard on Hailey?"

"God, no. She's my daughter, but I can't forgive her either."

He shook his head. No wonder Hailey was so stand-offish. Her own family had tried, convicted and banished her. For what? What could she have done to deserve such drastic treatment, not only from Heidi, but their mother as well? Couldn't Margaret see how her behavior hurt both daughters?

He brushed past her, quietly excusing himself, and donned a surgical mask before entering Heidi's room. Whatever had happened, it was time to get the facts, and it was time to face the problem head-on. Heidi's health was too poor for her to harbor such hatred. What if she died having never spoken to her sister? What if Hailey never had the chance to apologize? He would not let that happen.

"Heidi, are you awake?" he whispered, touching her arm.

In response, she opened eyes sunken in and surrounded by deep purple smudges. "Hello. Glad you could make it." She breathed in deeply and glanced around the room. "What time is it? I keep losing track. Day and night blend together in this God-awful place."

He stepped to the window and reached for the closed curtain, wishing he could take all the pain from her and dump it on himself. It killed him to see her this way. "It's seven o'clock in the evening, but it isn't dark yet. Would you like me to open the curtains?"

"Sure."

He pulled the drapes open, feeling her gaze on his back. Being with her wasn't simple anymore. So many things lay unspoken between them. It was killing him. All the self-imposed silence, all the wondering.

She reached a shaky hand and adjusted the scarf covering the remaining strands of hair on her head. "You're not your usual chatty self. What's wrong?"

He didn't bother smiling. She wouldn't see it, and she wouldn't believe it if she could anyway. "Yeah. I've done a lot of thinking lately. There are a few things bothering me."

She pushed the button on the bed's side-rail and raised the head of the bed, then patted on the mattress. "Come. Sit. Tell me."

"I don't know. I'm not sure it's a good time."

"Baloney. Sit. If you didn't want to talk about it, you wouldn't have mentioned it."

He sat.

"Now, talk."

"Well." He sighed. This was hard. He hated talking about feelings, relationships, that sort of thing. "It's about you and me, for one."

"What about us?"

"I was wondering. I need to know how you feel about me." He sounded like a girl!

She tugged the sheet higher up her chest and tipped her head. "What did my mother say to you?"

"She didn't say anything. I was wondering, that's all."

"Why now? After all this time? We've been friends for what--three years? Four? Are you thinking you and I should...Is this because I'm sick? I don't need your pity."

"I don't pity you."

"Then what's this all about? You're confusing me. For the past four years, you've continuously told me I was the sister you never had. You told me all about your mother, and the time you spent in juvenile detention, why you need friends so much, what I mean to you. Isn't friendship enough anymore?"

"For some reason, I don't think it's enough for you."

She sat gape-mouthed and stared at him. "What gives you that idea?"

"Why won't you answer me?"

She reached for the bedside tray, but it sat beyond her reach. He stood and pushed it closer, then poured some ice chips into a paper cup and handed it to her. "Thanks," she whispered before tipping her head back and shaking some into her mouth. Staring out the window, she said around the mouthful of ice, "We are friends, like brother and sister. That's all."

He didn't believe her, and he wondered why she was lying. She'd never lied to him before. Her set jaw, and the way her arms tensed across her chest, both told him she wasn't going to say any more about that subject. "Okay. Can I ask you another question?"

She nodded. "After the last one, I hope this isn't another doozie."

"It is."

"Go ahead." Her words were more sighed than spoken.

"What happened between you and your sister?"

"Why are you asking me that?" Her gaze drilled him, but he held his gaze steady.

"Because, well. You know how I feel about family--"

"All respect, Rainer. Let it go. Don’t meddle. You might have some warped need to create a family for yourself, and I've never complained about your over-ambitious activities in the past. But you won't do anyone any favors if you get involved in this."

"Please. Tell me."

"It's not worth talking about."

"If it's standing between you and your sister, it's worth talking about," he insisted, leaning closer. A part of him felt extremely guilty for badgering her when she was so weak. He reminded himself he was doing it for her sake. "I'm not trying to be a pest, or meddle. You're my friend. I hate to see you harbor such hostility right now. It's not going to make things easier for you."

"Yeah, yeah." She waved a dismissive hand. "That attitude thing again." She slumped her shoulders. "My difference with Hailey isn't going to do any more damage than it already has."

"How bad could it be?"

"She took everything I had, including my fiancé at the time. That's how bad."

"All this hatred is over a man? I thought sisters didn't fight about men."

"That's only in the movies. Besides, it was more than that." She closed her eyes. "No offense. I'm glad to see you, but I'm getting very sleepy."

"No offense taken." He ran his hand over her forehead and brushed a few blonde strands from her face. He shouldn't have pushed so hard. Regret tugged at his heart, and he decided it would be better to go back to Hailey and ask her. At least if he did that, he wouldn't risk her health. "You sleep. I'll be back later."

Her mouth formed a soft smile, and she nodded her head.

Later that night, as he lay sleepless in bed, he wondered why he was being so persistent. Neither sister wanted to make the first move toward reconciliation. Why should he force them?

His pager awakened him hours later. Bewildered, half asleep, he glanced at the clock before rummaging over the nightstand's top for the buzzing beeper. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been paged in the middle of the night...

Heidi?

He pushed the button. Grabbed the phone and dialed the number glowing on the green-tinted screen. "Dr. Hartmann here."

"Hi, Rainer. It's Jim. I need to talk to you about Heidi Jenson."

"What is it?"

The line was silent. "I know she's a friend of yours. I wanted to call you right away--"

"What's wrong?" Rainer asked, scared, and feeling a number of other emotions he couldn't exactly identify.

"She's spiked a fever. We've increased her antibiotics, but I'm not sure we can keep going with the chemo."

Rainer's heart grew heavy, then dropped to his toes. His head drooped, feeling too weighty for his neck. He irritably smoothed his hair from his face. "Damn!"

"I'm sorry. I've already called the mother. She's on her way in. Anyone else I should call?"

"No."

"Okay, then. See you later."

"Thanks, Jim." Rainer hung up, then checked the clock again. Midnight in California. Maybe Hailey was a night person. He dialed her number, not surprised when her answering machine greeted him with a hazy recording, "Hello. No one's here to take your call. Leave a message." Beep.

He hesitated, holding the phone over the cradle. What kind of message could he leave? He lifted it to his ear. "Hi. This is--"

Beep.

Damn machine! He hung up and laid down. Shadows crept over his bedroom ceiling as the tree outside the window bent in reverence to a gust of wind.

He'd call tomorrow morning. By then he'd have more details. Besides, he reminded himself, she wouldn't book a flight until morning anyway.

Reserved he'd wait until morning, he forced his eyes closed. But when the phone rang, his lids flew open and he hurled forward in bed. Clumsy, he fumbled for the ringing annoyance, knocking over a stack of books and sending them thumping on the floor. Once he had the receiver in hand, he lifted it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hello? Rainer? You called me?"

Must have Caller ID. Rainer's heart stopped. It was Hailey. A flood of heat shot to his face. "Hello, Hailey. Yes, I did call you."

"Well, it's pretty late here, so I'm assuming it wasn't a social call," she said, sounding worried. "What's wrong?"

"You're right, it's not a social call. I'm calling about Heidi."

"Is she okay? You never got back with me on those tests--"

"I'm sorry about that. My fault. I should have called you sooner. Your tests came out fine." He used his free hand to plump his pillow against his headboard and reclined against it, tugging the covers over his chest.

"Then what's the problem?"

"I think you'd best catch the earliest flight back here that you can manage. Heidi has developed an infection, and we're not sure whether we'll be able to continue the treatment."

"An infection?" The line silenced. "You're giving her medicine, right? She could get better, right?"

"We're doing everything we can."

"No doctor bullshit. Tell me the truth."

"I'm telling you the truth. We're doing everything we can. But I can't make any guarantees." He closed his eyes, visualizing the fear in her face. Eyes slitted and moist, her mouth drawn.

"I'll see what I can do. Call me tomorrow morning with an update."

"Will do. Goodnight, Hailey."

"Goodnight."

Rainer dropped the phone from his ear. As he reached to hang it up, he heard her voice. He lifted it to his ear again. "Yeah?"

"Thank you, Rainer." Her voice trembled.

"You're welcome."

He hung up the phone and tried to fall asleep, but he knew there was absolutely no way he'd be able to. With murky shadows and thoughts of Hailey and Heidi to keep him company, he lay restless in bed, awaiting the dawn. When his clock struck five, he got up, showered and went to the hospital, hoping he'd see a much-improved Heidi, not only for Heidi's sake, but also for Hailey's.

Hailey lept from her bed when her alarm sounded across the room. Her eyes were gritty and blurred, and she tripped over yesterday's clothes as she dashed across the room. She reached on top of her armoire to shut off the nerve-grating noise, accidentally knocking over her crystal candlesticks. Still unsteady, she faced her bed, longing to climb back into its cozy warmth and sleep at least another ten hours.

But no rest for the weary--wasn't that the cliché?

Worries heaped on top of worries. First, there was the legal issue with the land donation, which she hadn't been able to do a thing about, even when she'd hunted down Nancy and paid a visit to the courthouse yesterday. Plus, there was today's pet adoption day and the regular responsibilities at the shelter.

And now she had the added worry of her sister's latest complication.

Not that she hadn't been concerned before. She had been. But she thought everything was under control. Heidi would get her chemo and her new bone marrow and get better.

That wasn't for certain anymore, not after last night's call. Rainer was a doctor. He wouldn't have called unless he thought there was a chance that Heidi might...Darn it, she couldn't even think the word!