Rest in Pieces (15 page)

I half expected her spirit to put me in a chokehold for lying, but this extreme situation called for extreme measures.

“What did you say, sweetheart?” His eyes stayed on my chest.

I could practically feel him picturing me naked. If he so much as laid a finger on me, I was kneeing him in the balls and punching him in the throat. And thanks to that self–defense instructor who bartered classes at the hospital to pay off his bill after he’d gotten mugged at a bar on Sixth Street, I knew how.

“She said, Molly Miars spoke highly of you.” The receptionist yelled.

“I got it, Mom.” He yelled back, but his gaze never moved.

He had focus, I’d give him that.

So he let his mom continue to be blind as a bat even though he could fix it? It seemed that Dr. Dick was about as good an eye doctor as that self–defense instructor was at defending himself.

“Wait, Molly who?” This time, his gaze darted briefly to my face and then back to my chest.

“Molly Miars.” So he’d knocked her up, killed her, and forgotten her name. What was below mook in the asshole hierarchy?

He nodded. “Oh yeah…Molly.”

He really didn’t seem to know who she was. Then, I got the full force of his lecherous smile. His bleached white teeth had clearly been capped and were so huge that they barely fit into his mouth. “Sweetheart, I date lots of women. Hell, last week on my annual Bahamas singles cruise, I hit it with so many chicks I lost count.” He winked. “Play your cards right and you just might be the next notch on my bedpost.”

I threw up a little bit in my mouth, which was weird because I hadn’t eaten anything today. I guess my body kept some vomit in reserve in case I ran into any worse–than–mooks.

Good to know.

Wait. Singles cruise?

“When did the cruise leave?” If he’d been out of town the whole week he couldn’t have killed Molly. Sure, he could have hired someone to do it, but that didn’t feel right. This mook wasn’t smart enough to have hired someone.

“Why?” His ferret eyes narrowed.

I looked around like an answer would pop out of mid air. “It sounds like fun. I’d love more information. I might go next year.”

It was a pathetic save, but it was a save.

“Yeah, that could be fun. I left last Sunday and got back this past Monday.” He nodded. “Lots of broads on the ship go topless. What are you, a D cup? I could stand to see you topless.”

I could have sued him for harassment right there but chose to ignore the last comment.

Molly was killed on Tuesday and he wasn’t in town. He could have been lying, but I didn’t think so. I’m sure I could ask to see some pictures from his trip, but I wasn’t sure I could stomach those.

I cleared my voice. “You know what, I just remembered that I have a roast in the oven.” I had no idea where that had come from—I’d never cooked anything in the oven that didn’t come frozen in a cardboard box. I headed for the door as fast as I could. “I’ll call to reschedule.”

I grabbed my license and insurance cards from the counter and practically ran out of the door.

Dr. Dick was, in fact, a dick, a gigantic donkey dick, but my spidey sense was telling me that he didn’t kill Molly. He couldn’t even remember her name, plus he was out of the country. After having met him, I couldn’t see Molly, or anyone else for that matter, mating with him. Molly was smarter than that and she had more self–respect. I was almost sure that Dr. Dick wasn’t the father of Molly’s baby.

I jumped into Bessie and glanced back at the giant glasses on the front windows of Stevensen Optical. I hoped Dr. Dick never fathered any children. Society as a whole had enough problems without his DNA peeing in the gene pool.

Chapter 11

“He didn’t do it.” I called Haley as promised on my way to pick up Chinese takeout before I headed back to work.

“What do you mean, he didn’t do it?” Haley was breathing heavily.

“What are you doing?” I turned onto Lakeside Boulevard and into the Founder’s Village strip center. Great Wall of China was located in the crotch of the V shaped strip center.

“I’m on the elliptical.” Haley huffed out. “I have twenty more minutes.”

“I don’t know how you can talk and exercise at the same time.” I couldn’t do both, so I’d given up exercise in favor of talking. I play to my strengths.

“Years of practice.” She took a deep breath. “You’re sure it wasn’t him?”

“He was out of the country on some singles cruise. There is the possibility that he hired someone, but honestly I don’t think he’s that smart. Plus, I wonder why Molly ever dated him. Maybe she was lying about it.”

I hoped.

“I was just thinking the same thing.” Haley was breathing so hard that I could barely understand her. “I think we should go visit Molly’s mother. I don’t want to do it, but I think we need to.”

“Sounds like a plan. I can’t think of anything else to do.” Question family and friends—that’s what they did on
Castle
. Hopefully, it was the right thing to do. Everything I knew about murder investigation I’d learned from TV.

“I’ll call Monica and find out if she wants to come with us. I think today after you get off of work is best. I’ll have Anise watch the kids and we can go to Lakeside Living. I can’t wait to see dear old Edna Miars.” Haley’s voice dripped with sarcasm. Monica would be so proud.

At six that evening, we pulled into the wide circle drive in front of Lakeside Living. The seniors living facility was four stories of opulence. It was part Tuscan villa and part Tara from
Gone with the Wind
. The outside walls were made of cut white Texas limestone, and a flowerbox with red geraniums hung under every window. A burnt orange tile roof contrasted nicely against the giant white columns.

A uniformed man who was maybe eighteen, flagged us down so Haley pulled up to him.

“Hello, welcome to Lakeside Living. I’m Brandon, your valet.” He opened the driver’s door for Haley.

“Valet service?” Monica who was riding in front this time turned around to look at me.

“Apparently.” Wherever we went, Monica and I were the fish out of water.

“The joke’s on him. Haley will pay a thousand dollars for a good meal, but won’t shell out ten bucks for valet.” Monica grinned. “Rich people are so weird.”

“I heard that.” Haley stepped out of the car and handed Brandon ten dollars.

Brandon took the money gratefully. “Thanks.”

“I stand corrected.” Monica waited for him to open her door and then she stepped onto the dirt–orange stained concrete. If the builders of Lakeside Living were trying to make the concrete the color of crushed granite or red clay, they had failed miserably. It just looked like a cheap spray–on tan.

I waited for Brandon to help me out and then I followed Haley and Monica toward the huge, elaborate, cut–glass double doors. They were part Baptist church and part Vegas Casino.

Brandon hurried passed us to open the large right hand door.

If I thought the outside was fancy, the inside was positively palatial. At the entry a three–story waterfall gurgled down and emptied into a huge ornamental fishpond. A sidewalk with small shops surrounded the pond. It reminded me of the boardwalk inside the cruise ship where I’d spent five terrible nights and six awful days on my honeymoon. By the way, morning sickness and motion sickness don’t go well together. The honeymoon sucked; why didn’t I take that as a sign that my marriage would suck too? Lesson learned.

On this boardwalk there was a hair salon, a yoga studio, an ice cream parlor, a storefront advertising therapeutic massage and physical therapy, several restaurants, and a Walgreens. This was better than downtown Lakeside.

“Wow.” I looked up at the full–sized hot air balloon complete with basket hanging down from the ceiling. “Clearly assisted living has changed since my Grammie Ida lived in one. Hers only had a cafeteria and a TV room with no cable.”

“Tell me about it. My grandfather lived in a place that smelled like pee and applesauce.” Monica took a deep breath. “All I smell here is money and vanilla air freshener.”

“According to their website, Lakeside Living is a state of the art resort senior living center. They have two Olympic–sized lap pools, four restaurants, two salons, and a new Vegas headliner does shows here monthly. Last month it was Wayne Newton. There’s actual video of seniors storming the stage and throwing their underwear at him. Trust me when I tell you that it was disturbing.” Haley shivered. “One woman threw an entire box of Depends, but I’m happy to report that no one was seriously injured.”

Haley led us to the front desk. Another uniformed man greeted us with a smile. “Welcome to Lakeside Living. I’m Charles Pennywhistle.. How may I help you?”

On the intricately carved wooden counter he stood behind, sat a huge brass bell—like the ones cowboys dinged in old westerns to get the attention of the hotel proprietors. Monica and I exchanged a look and my hand shot out to ring the bell first. Monica was quick, but I was quicker. I rang the bell. Then she rang it, and then I rang it again and then back to Monica.

Charles Pennywhistle’s hand covered the bell before I could ring it again.

“How may I be of assistance?” His glare all but said that if we rang that bell again, he was hiding our bodies in a shallow grave.

Maybe he killed Molly for ringing his bell?

“We’re here to see Edna Miars.” Haley always the grownup didn’t even bother to look our way.

“Yes, I’ll just see if she’s expecting you.” Charles’ jovial demeanor cracked around the edges. Apparently the mere mention of Edna Miars was enough to make him lose his cool even while he’d kept it in the face of two crazy women playing with his bell. That spoke volumes about Edna. Perhaps she really was an evil bitch.

Five minutes later we stood in front of room ten–seventeen.

“Are we sure that we really want to do this?” Haley looked at me.

“Is she really that bad?” Monica cocked her head to the right and watched Haley. “Seems like a whole lot of drama for one crazy old lady.”

“I’m sure that’s what Queen Elizabeth said about Bloody Mary…well, before she was Bloody Mary.” Haley rolled her eyes. “Okay, but I warned you.”

She knocked on the door.

The door was tossed open like Mrs. Miars had been waiting on the other side. The old woman stood before us in all of her faded glory. She wore a baby–blue chiffon nineteen–fifties prom dress complete with puffy petticoat, a rhinestone crown, and a white sash draped from her left shoulder to just under her right hip proclaiming her as the first runner up America’s Junior Miss nineteen sixty–three. If the way–too–long dress was any evidence, she might have been five–seven or five–eight at one time but the weight of years had hunched her over.

“Please come in.” Edna said in a breathy Jackie Kennedy meets Arkansas voice. She swept her arm grandly towards the living room. “I have tea laid out for us.”

“How lovely.” Haley said behind her huge fake smile. “This is Mustang and this is Monica.”

I glanced over at living room table. It was covered with plates stacked with petits fours, finger sandwiches, croissants, cookies, and a silver tea set worthy of an afternoon at Buckingham Palace. My eyes drank in all those carb–laden goodies. How bad could she be?

I’d been so excited at the possibility of baked goods that only now did I notice all of the plastic covered furniture. The sofa cushions were encased in clear plastic as was the back and sides of the couch. So were the chairs, the table, and believe it or not, the TV. There was even a plastic walkway on top of the carpet. I suspected that microchip manufacturing clean rooms weren’t this dust free.

Monica caught my attention and I could tell that she was thinking the same thing I was. What would happen if we stepped off the plastic pathway and onto the actual carpet?

Like she could read our minds, Haley turned around and shot us a “don’t do it look.” She knew us too well.

“I see that you were the first runner up in the America’s Junior Miss pageant. Didn’t Diane Sawyer win that year?” Monica loved her some trivia.

“Skanky–whore bitch, may she die of gonorrhea.” The gracious smile never wavered off Edna’s face.

I decided right then and there, not to stray off the plastic path.

Monica’s mouth dropped open. It took a lot to render her speechless, but there it was.

“Well, isn’t this lovely.” Haley nodded at the lavish tea setting. She had a master’s degree in changing the subject.

“Yes, I like to throw a little something together when company is expected.” Edna’s dress got caught on the plastic and she stumbled, but caught herself on the edge of the plastic encased dining room table. To her credit, she pretended like nothing had happened and commenced her regal march to the living room sofa.

As we got to the sofa before her, we stood there waiting.

Edna waved her arm graciously and said, “please have a seat. Haley dear, would you mind pouring?”

Haley nodded and continued to smile. With her right hand, she picked up the highly polished teapot, with her left hand held the lid down, and poured. A clear liquid splashed into the first of four ornate china teacups. The heavy scent of tequila filled the room.