Restless Hearts (22 page)

San Francisco Harbor. October 1849

The razor gleamed in the pale, thin light that seeped in through the windows of the captain’s cabin. Lily stopped pacing and picked it up, her delicate fingers tracing the now familiar outline. How many times had she held it, forcing her hands to remain steady as she shaved the captain’s pockmarked face?

She flicked it open and ran her thumb along the sharp edge, watching dispassionately as a thin line of blood welled up in the cut. She’d known that the razor was finely honed; after all, she was the one who sharpened it every day before using it. And every time she’d performed the routine task she’d wondered if this would be the day she would break... if she’d give in to the almost uncontrollable temptation to slit the captain’s throat.

It would have been so easy, she thought now, flicking the razor closed with one hand. But her desire to go on living was stronger. The captain was well aware of the direction of her thoughts, and he seemed to enjoy watching her struggle with temptation as she wielded the razor. But while she shaved the vulnerable area below his chin, he’d taken great pleasure in pointing out that the crew would know of his demise within hours, and then what? She’d be at their mercy. Not satisfied to point out her tenuous position, he’d told her in chilling detail what would befall her when the crew began to fight over her. Momentarily defeated, she had closed her mind to the disturbing images, biding her time until the ship reached San Francisco.

Born in the Year of the Tiger, Lily was a fighter. At least that’s what her
Baba
had told her. Thank goodness he couldn’t see her now, her spirit broken and terrified about what the future might bring. She glanced at the locked cabin door, wondering if she should end it now, or if she could reach deep down and find one last reservoir of courage. Because it would take courage to face what was about to walk through that door. Yes, she told herself. For her father, if for no other reason, she would survive.

A key rattled in the lock. Lily replaced the razor and stood by the table, bracing herself against the edge. She may be strong in spirit, but she was wise enough to be afraid. The captain had bought her in Shanghai, telling her that he intended to sell her when they reached San Francisco. That time had come, and she stood unblinking as he entered the cabin with another man.

“What did I tell you?” The captain’s lust-filled gaze raked over her. “A little beauty.”

The man’s eyes narrowed. “She’s small.” He approached, and she looked directly at him, determined not to show fear. An ugly scar ran down the side of his face, the scar tissue shiny in the subdued light.

“What’s your name, girl?” he demanded.

She remained silent and he turned to the captain. “I thought you said she speaks English.”

“She does. Answer him, Lily.”

“You’ll answer me when I speak to you.” The man backhanded her so fast she scarcely saw it coming. Her head snapped around and in that moment, she realized that her situation had gone from bad to worse. The man glaring at her was evil; she’d need all her wits about her if she had any hope of getting away from him.

“My name is Lily,” she said, fighting back the tears that stung behind her eyes.

“Take off that... that thing,” he said, pointing to her tunic and loose pants.

She glanced at the captain, who nodded. Lily assessed her chances of grabbing the razor and slashing her way out of the cabin. Tempting as it was, logic told her to bide her time until she was on land.

As she removed her clothes, she blocked out reality by willing herself back in time. Back to Shanghai, and the lush tropical gardens where she had worked with her father. Standing naked, she was vaguely aware of the man studying her, his eyes devoid of emotion. She braced herself for his touch, determined not to react, but it didn’t come. After a moment, he grunted his approval.

“She’ll bring big money,” he announced, waving for her to put her clothes back on. “I think I’ll place her in my number one bordello. Ruby will know how to get the most out of her.”

Lily had heard about bordellos, and her hands trembled as she pulled her clothes back on. For one irrational moment she wondered if she should have killed herself while she had the chance, but once more she saw her father’s face and her resolve strengthened.

“Get your things, girl.” The man turned his back on her and she gathered up her one change of clothes. Everything she held dear had been taken from her and presumably sold before she left Shanghai. Nothing remained of her former life. Not the jade bracelet handed down from her mother. Not the gold pendant her father had given her on her eighteenth birthday. No tangible evidence of happier times. All she had were the precious memories she guarded in her heart.

She forced her thoughts back to the present, aware that the man was completing his business with the captain. Money and paper changed hands, as well as several blocks of what Lily knew to be opium. She picked up the razor and slid it into her pocket. She had earned it, and it was unlikely that the captain would miss it for several days. She clutched her meagre belongings to her chest and prepared for what was to come.

“Let’s go.” The man preceded her out the door and she followed onto the deck, blinking in the light of day.

Her first impression was of a forest of masts shrouded in mist. It was impossible to take it all in, but she was aware of boats of various sizes ferrying to and from the moored ships, unloading cargo and people, and depositing them on shore. Men called to each other in strange languages, their voices loud and urgent. Everyone seemed to be in a hurry to get somewhere and she wondered if this was what gold fever sounded like.

The man – she refused to think of him as her owner – motioned for her to climb down the rope ladder. A small boat waited below, two men at the oars. She clambered down the ladder and took a seat in the rear of the boat.

One man cleared his throat and spat overboard. “I see you got her,” he said, leering in Lily’s direction. “You sure know how to pick ‘em, Boss.”

The other man waited until everyone was settled and then turned the boat with a flick of the oars. “So, Hiram. Where are you going to put her? I’ve a mind to try her out myself.”

So that was his name.

Hiram gave a short laugh, but there was no mirth in it. “She’s not for the likes of you, laddie.” He studied Lily openly, and nodded to himself. “She may be a Celestial, but there’s something about her that will appeal to our richest clientele. When Ruby is finished with her, she’ll bring top money.” He sat back and lit a cigar. “Ever since Ah Toy came to town, the miners have been demanding variety.”

Sitting in the back of the rowboat, Lily studied the shoreline as they approached. Cargo of all kinds was stacked in what seemed like haphazard piles. As soon as a pile was loaded into a cart, another took its place. The waterfront appeared to be complete chaos, and yet the carts continued to load and move out, while more goods arrived.

The boat bumped against a small pier. One of the men got out, and Hiram motioned for her to follow. “Get in,” he said, indicating a horse-drawn cart. The two men sat up front, and Hiram sat beside her in the back. The mist had turned to a fine rain. She was cold and wet, but she needed to stay alert, as this was the only time she’d have to take note of her surroundings. The driver called to the horses and the cart lurched forward, freeing the wheels from mud that was almost a foot deep. On the dock, a man cursed the rain, and tossed a sheet of canvas over several large sacks of what appeared to be flour. This waterfront was nothing like the one in Shanghai, where cargo moved in and out of the warehouses in an orderly fashion. She watched it all with interest, noting that what San Francisco lacked in organization, it made up for in vibrancy. Men on the streets tipped their hats to one another, or exchanged a few quick words, but none lingered. They walked with purpose in their stride; the excitement was contagious, and she longed to be part of it.

The man holding the reins turned. “Are we going to Ruby’s, Boss?” He didn’t notice the man with a cart rounding the corner in front of him. Head down, the man pulled his cart into their path, and the horse closest to the man reared, tilting the wagon and spilling everyone except the driver into the mud.

Lily watched in horror as Hiram dragged himself to his feet. He’d landed in a pile of horse dung, and swore mightily as he tried to brush the offending material from his trousers and jacket. The other man attempted to stand, but he seemed to have injured his ankle, and could only drag himself out of the way and onto the wooden sidewalk that ran beside the road.

Realizing that she was wasting a precious opportunity, Lily jumped down from the wagon and glanced around. A narrow alleyway ran beside the building to her right. She darted down it and looked around frantically, but cover was scarce.

What am I thinking?
She asked herself.
I can’t hide here; this is the first place they’ll look.
She continued to run, scurrying between buildings, getting farther from the main square every moment. Here the buildings weren’t so close together, and cover was difficult to come by. She paused and forced herself to think. Fear of discovery coupled with lack of exercise over the long voyage left her weak and trembling. It was now raining steadily; she needed to find somewhere to shelter. Up ahead, two men were loading tools into a cart. Other than the two workmen, the street appeared deserted. A partly-constructed building huddled forlornly on a small lot, new wood gleaming through the mist.

“That’s all we can do for now.” The taller of the men spoke. “The owner says we can expect another lumber delivery tomorrow morning.”

“I hope so,” his partner grumbled. “I could have been working out in Happy Valley.” They trundled off.

Lily waited until they were out of sight, and then crept into the building. Fearful and cold, she huddled under a stairwell and took stock of her situation. Foolishly, she hadn’t eaten for the past three or four days, nervous about her imminent arrival in San Francisco. But at this point, hunger was the least of her problems. She had to find somewhere to hide; somewhere safe. In the meantime, she spotted a piece of dry canvas, pulled it over her head and curled up under the stairs. Just a moment’s rest was all she needed...

The sky was the color of old pewter when she woke. Had she really slept through the night? She tentatively moved her limbs. If her aches and pains were anything to go by, she’d slept without moving the entire night. Her stomach rumbled, and she staggered to her feet. With no money, no shelter, and nowhere to turn for help, she hadn’t the faintest idea how she would survive. But first things first. The workers had mentioned another shipment of lumber today; she had to get out of here and find somewhere else to stay.

She took a few tentative steps into the street and stopped. A delicious smell reached her on the morning breeze. It was the smell of fresh bread, and her mouth watered as she imagined biting into a warm piece of bread slathered with butter and preserves. It seemed like only yesterday that she’d shared this special treat with her friend Julia after their day’s lessons.

Stop that,
she told herself, taking a few more steps to test her strength.
That was a long time ago, and memories won’t fill an empty stomach
. Even so, she followed the smell, and found herself outside another two-storey house. Whoever lived here got up early to bake the bread; she watched shadows form and fade as someone moved past a flickering candle. A white tent occupied most of the space between the house and the street. One broad tent flap was rolled up, leaving it open to the street, and she looked inside. A table with benches on either side ran the length of the tent, and she surmised that it was some sort of eating place. If she could find somewhere to hide, perhaps there would be left-over food. Unlikely, but at the moment it was her best option, and daylight was fast approaching.

She slipped past the tent and continued to edge her way behind the house. A neatly stacked pile of firewood rested against the side of the house, once again covered by a sheet of canvas. She huddled beside the wood pile, on the opposite side from where the residents had been taking wood, and waited.

* * *

Lily lifted her face to the sun and sighed with contentment. She and Julia were perched on the edge of the tiled fountain, dabbling their feet in the cool water. They’d just completed their first week of French language instruction.

“I still don’t know why we have to learn French.” Lily wrinkled her nose. “I’ll never use it.” She glanced sideways at her friend. “Will you?”

“Possibly,” said Julia. “I might marry an Ambassador or something. It could be helpful.”

Lily stared at her friend. “Is that how you see the rest of your life?”

Julia bristled. “There’s nothing wrong with marrying an Ambassador.”

“No, of course not” Lily shrugged. “It’s just that I’ve never considered anything other than working beside my father.” She lifted her feet out of the water and watched the droplets fall. “I was so surprised when he agreed to let me take lessons with you. I’d never have learned English otherwise.” She paused for a moment. “He’s only letting me learn to please your parents... because you wanted me to keep you company.”

“Haven’t you enjoyed it?” Julia looked confused.

“Oh, yes, I’ve learned a lot.” Lily’s thoughts turned inward. “But I’m the only family my father has left. It’s my duty to help him.”