Return of the Jerk (Sweet Life in Seattle, Book 2) (27 page)

Blair is tempted to dump all that makeup in the trash and see how Fiona likes it. Instead, she straightens up, organizing by group.

“This is not a hotel,” Blair tells her when she finds Fiona in Road’s office after getting ready.

“Don’t I know it.” Fiona is standing, looking out the window at the city street.

“And I am not your maid, so pick up after yourself.”

Fiona doesn’t say anything. There’s something off about the way she’s standing there, her hand touching the window frame.

“Why are you hanging out in here?” Blair asks.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’d like some
privacy
, if you don’t mind.”

Blair turns to leave, then hesitates. “Road told me why you’re really here.”

“Oh? And why is that?”

“He said you have a broken heart.”

Fiona whirls around. “Yes, a pitiful state I imagine
you’d
know plenty about.”

Blair is taken aback. Her mouth opens. “Go to hell.”

She turns to leave for real this time, but Fiona suddenly bursts into tears. Howling. Her mouth open and distorted. Fiona may be beautiful, but she doesn’t cry pretty, that’s for certain.

The two of them stand there while Fiona cries and carries on, her face still contorted in a mask. Blair would normally try and comfort someone crying, but senses it’s the last thing Fiona wants.

“You’re really ugly when you cry,” Blair tells her.

“I . . . know.” Fiona nods, still crying hysterically. “H . . . h . . . hideous.”

“You look just like the Wicked Witch in
The Wizard of Oz
.”

“It’s true!”

Blair leaves and goes into the bathroom, grabs the box of tissues and comes back. She puts it on Road’s desk for Fiona.

“Thank . . . you.” She pulls out some tissues, wipes her eyes, and then blows her nose. Her breath is still shaky.

“Guess Road was right about why you’re here.” Blair starts to organize Road’s desk as she stands there, stacking the envelopes and lining up all the papers so the corners match. Some of them don’t fit, and she frowns with annoyance.

Fiona watches her, still sniffling. “He’s only partly right. My girlfriend, Sachi, left me. Apparently, she doesn’t want to be together anymore.” She starts sobbing again. “I can’t b . . . believe it.”

“Why?” Blair gathers Road’s pens, wipes out an old coffee cup with tissue and puts them all in there. She can’t help peeking at some of his paperwork. It’s mostly work stuff, technical data of some sort. She also sees what looks like some kind of article about Frankfurt, Germany, that’s marked up and edited.

“Various reasons. Mainly, she says I won’t move here for her.”

“To Seattle?”

Fiona nods. “She moved to New York for me, but now says I won’t move for her.”

“Is that true?”

“I don’t want to live in Seattle!” Fiona starts wailing again. “Can you imagine me living here?”

Blair thinks about it. “I can, actually.”

Fiona swallows, wipes her face with a tissue. “Really?”

“I could see you living downtown or over on the Eastside with all the other rich bitches.”

Fiona smiles a little. “Thank you for saying that, for trying to make me feel better, but we both know I’d never fit in.”

“I guess you have to decide what’s important to you then.”

Fiona’s phone starts playing some classical piano music, and she answers it. “Yes, I’m ready right now. Let me ask her.” Fiona looks over at Blair. “It’s Tori, are you ready to go? She’s coming over to pick us up.”

“What?” Blair’s mouth opens. “You invited yourself?”

Fiona gives her a crafty smile. “Blair’s ready, too. We’ll see you soon.”

Blair stares at her.

“I don’t give up easily,” is all Fiona says, as she brushes past her and walks out of the room.

Tori picks them up in her blue minivan, and Blair enjoys the annoyed expression on Fiona’s face when she sees all the dog hair and mess.

“What’s that smell?” Fiona asks, climbing into the back, brushing the seat.

“Tori has three dogs and two cats,” Blair tells her without holding back the glee in her voice. “She also works part-time at a vet’s office. Isn’t that great?”

“Why don’t any of you people have normal cars?” Fiona grumbles.

“Aren’t you glad you forced yourself on us?”

Tori gives Blair a look. “Poor Fiona called me and said you and Road were both ditching her today, even though she’s alone in a new city.”

Blair rolls her eyes.
Poor Fiona?
Of course, Fiona would know how to manipulate someone as good-hearted as Tori.

“She said you guys tried to force her to go stay in a hotel last night,” Tori continues. She glances behind her to Fiona in the backseat. “You’re welcome to come stay with me. I have a second bedroom.”

“Yes,” Blair says, smiling at Fiona. “What a terrific idea. Why don’t you go stay with Tori? You wouldn’t have to sleep on the couch, and you’d have your own room where all of Tori’s animals could keep you company.”

Fiona opens her mouth, a horrified expression on her face. “I’d love to, but I’m allergic to cats.”

“Really?” Blair says. “I have a cat. Mr. Maurice, surely you’ve seen him.”

“I meant dogs, not cats.” Fiona shakes her head in a ‘silly me’ gesture. “It’s dogs I’m allergic to.”

“Give me a break,” Blair says, but can’t help her laughter.

The three of them stop first at Fred Meyer, where Tori and Blair shop some of the sales. It’s a crowded Sunday, and it isn’t long before it becomes clear that Fiona has an ulterior motive for why she wanted to join them today as she starts quizzing Blair about her marriage again.

“I never even knew Nathan had a wife until recently.”

“Hmmm,” Blair responds noncommittally as she holds a striped shirt in front of herself.

“So, why did he marry you? Did you need a green card?”

Blair forces a laugh. “Yes, that’s it. I’m originally from Sweden. How did you know?”

Tori looks confused. “Why are you so curious about Road and Blair’s marriage?”

“Because I need them to fall in love.”

This gets both Blair and Tori’s attention.

“Why?” Tori asks.

“Well, I need Nathan to fall in love,” Fiona amends. “Clearly
she’s
already in love.”

Tori’s brows go up as she looks at Blair. “Did you tell her all this?”

“Of course not.” Blair hangs up the striped shirt, since she already owns four of them. She turns to Fiona. “You should work for the FBI. Your talents are wasted being a marketing and media specialist.”

Fiona smirks. “Believe me, I’m very good at what I do. And you forget I’ve read Nathan’s blog detailing his life the past few years and he
never
mentions you. Not even once.”

“That’s nice to know,” Blair mutters.

“You might as well tell me what the story is between you two. I’ll figure it out anyway.”

“Why don’t you just mind your own business?” Blair picks up the striped shirt again.
So now I’ll own five of them.

“This
is
my business.”

“How do you figure that?”

“I suspect Nathan is stalled because of you.”

“Me?” Blair laughs. “I seriously doubt that.”

“Maybe he’s not in love with you, but there’s something going on, and obviously you were together last night.”

Tori’s blue eyes flash up at Blair from the jeans she’s holding against her hips. “You were with my brother last night?”

“Sort of.”

Fiona snorts. “Sounded like a lot more than ‘sort of’ to me.”

Tori’s eyes grow wide. “You and Road are together?”

“It was lust.”

Tori makes a face.

“Sorry.” Blair smiles at her. “But you asked.”

“Lust between you two didn’t work out so great last time.”

Blair sighs. “I know.”

“I thought you were putting all that behind you. Moving on, that you’d
moved
on.”

Fiona is watching this with interest. “So, it was lust? But why bother getting married? That doesn’t make any sense. Were you pregnant or something?”

Tori and Blair’s eyes meet, but then they look away from each other.

Fiona sucks in her breath. “My
God
, that’s
it.
” She grows still, mulling this over. “But where’s the . . . ?”

Blair sighs and hangs the shirt up again.
I don’t need to waste money.

“Fiona, don’t go there,” Tori says, an edge to her voice. “Seriously. Do not go there.”

“I understand.” Fiona lets out her breath. “I’m so sorry. I really am. Believe it or not, I love children. They’re so cute and grubby. And they smell like mustard. What’s not to love?”

Blair glares at her.

“I mean it! I have two nephews, and I love them dearly.”

“Whatever.” Blair wanders down the aisle to get away from her.
This just keeps getting better and better.

The three of them roam the store mostly in silence now, except for Fiona’s occasional bitchy comment about the merchandise. “I’ve never been in one of these stores. Is this where everyone in Seattle shops? Aren’t there any
normal
stores?”

“Sorry,” Blair tells her. “This is all there is, so you’ll just have to get used to it.”

Fiona tosses her ponytail over her shoulder. “I
know
you’re only saying that to frighten me.” She glances around. “Though, I have to admit, it’s working.”

When they stop to look through the household goods, Fiona starts talking to her again about Road. “He’s not in love with you, but there’s something there.”

Tori is at the end of the aisle, examining dog beds. Despite herself, Blair is listening.

“He’s interested in you,” Fiona continues.

I wish.
“What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. He’s interested. I can tell. We need to help him along and get this sorted out. Don’t you want him to fall in love with you?” She pauses then speaks with relish. “It would be
perfect
for this next book. I can already see it.”

Blair laughs. “You’re kidding, right? That’s what this is all about? Good luck.”

Fiona grows serious. “Nathan doesn’t understand this yet, but his life is about to seriously change.
Edge of Zen
is doing extremely well, and I suspect we can push it even higher. It’s certainly putting him on the radar. This next book could put him on the map.”

Blair watches how Tori checks out the softness of each cushion for the doggie beds. “How do you know?”

Fiona smiles. “Trust me, I just do. But we need to help him, because he’s blocked and after reading his first draft, I know why. He’s missing his theme. A love story would be perfect. You
need
to make him fall in love with you!”

“And how do you suggest I do that?”

“Seduce him with your body first and then your mind.”

Blair is silent.
If only it were that simple.
She thinks about how they spent last night together. And look where he is today? With Skank Factor X Marla.

Fiona is wrong. Road isn’t interested in me.
Last night was just lust for him.
Sure, he likes me in a friendly sort of way.
And then as she’s thinking all this, she sees exactly what she needs to buy.

Tori pushes the cart over as Blair shoves the long box inside of it. “You’re buying an air mattress?”

“It’s for Road. I’m going to put it in the office.”

“I don’t know if his back can handle an air mattress.”

“His back?” Blair stares at Tori.

“My
God
.” Fiona is gawking at the box. “Did you even hear a single word I just said?”

Blair pointedly ignores Fiona. “I thought he made that up. Is something actually wrong with Road’s back?”

Tori nods. “He was in a fender bender a few months ago in London. Although, now that I think about it, aren’t air mattresses good for back pain?”

“You should be buying lingerie, not an
air
mattress
!” Fiona practically shrieks. “How stupid
are
you?”

“Fiona, I know you mean well,” Tori says, while Blair snorts, “but this is probably for the best.”

“No, it isn’t!”

“This isn’t a game,” Blair tells her. “It’s my life, okay? I’m done with Road. I’ve been in love with him since eighth grade, and it’s time to move on.”

“
Eighth grade?
Oh, my fucking
God!
I would have had that man on his knees in less than a week!”

“What do you even know about it?” Blair says, irritated. “I thought you were gay.”

Fiona rolls her eyes in exasperation. “I used to date men. I dated men for years! Until I discovered I was a big old dyke.” She laughs merrily. “And then I met Sachi.” Fiona’s eyes suddenly fill with tears. She doesn’t start in with the hysterical crying again, thank goodness, but her lips turn down and her face contorts into the evil witch from
The
Wizard of Oz
again.

Tori immediately releases the shopping cart and goes over to put her arms around her. “You poor thing. It’s going to be okay.”

“No offense,” Blair mutters, “but I don’t need advice on my love life from someone who’s so clearly made a mess of their own.”

But neither of them are paying attention to Blair as Fiona tries to get herself under control. Eventually, they make their way up to the front and pay for everything, then load it all into the back of Tori’s minivan.

Blair thinks about all the things Fiona told her about Road.

What does she know anyway?