Return to Sender (5 page)

“And to think I was going to give all this up for a pretty blonde,”

Nick said, his hands held out to both sides, as though he were about to embrace the room.

The guests laughed and spoke among themselves.

Lin’s head shot up like a high temperature. Was he referring to her?

“—And she married my best friend,” he said in ending.

Lin was so shocked, she hadn’t heard all that he’d said. Will looked at her strangely. She took a sip of lukewarm water, smiled at her son. She leaned over to whisper to him. “I need to go. I…I ordered the taxi to return now. You won’t mind if I leave early?”

Though her behavior was unusual, Will seemed to accept her excuse. “There’ll be a line of taxis waiting when this shindig lets out.

Sure you don’t want to wait?”

Lin took a deep breath. “No, I’m feeling very tired. I think I’ll go.

You can tell me what I missed tomorrow. Call me when you’re up and about. We’ll have brunch.”

“Okay. I’ll walk you out.”

“No!” Lin said, loud enough for the speaker to pause and stare down at her.
Oh, my God! This isn’t happening.
She had never anticipated something like this. Not in her worst nightmare!

She had to leave. Immediately.

She bent over to give Will a kiss and walked out of the banquet hall. If there were stares following her retreating back, she didn’t know, because there was no way in hell she was going to turn around to look.

Stepping outside into the cool night air revived her. Will was right. The taxis were starting to line up next to the curb. She hurried to the one closest to her. The taxi driver she’d asked to wait wouldn’t have any trouble finding another fare.

“The Helmsley Park Lane,” she announced to the driver as she slid onto the backseat. He was about to put the car in drive when the passenger door opposite her was yanked open.

“This cab’s taken,” the driver said with a heavy Brooklyn accent.

“Sorry, bucko.”

“Yes, I just need to speak to the lady for a moment.”

Nicholas Pemberton had followed her!

Lin turned her gaze on the one man who had had the power to make her son’s life better, the man who had never given a second thought to the son he’d fathered, discarding him like yesterday’s garbage. She wouldn’t give the bastard the satisfaction of speaking to him.

He leaned in through the open door. “You must think I’ve lost my mind. I saw you earlier tonight by the coat-check counter. You forgot this.” He placed her black wrap on the seat next to her.

Lin’s heart rate rapidly increased as he leaned in closer. He smelled clean and rich. She felt his breath on her skin, warm and minty, as he spoke. “I had to get out of that room full of stuffed shirts.” When he smiled at her, she almost returned it with one of her own.

Nicholas Pemberton was a charming son of a bitch; she’d best remember that little fact. She turned her head in the opposite direction so she didn’t have to look at him. “Thank you. Please, just go,” she said to the taxi driver.

Nick stepped away from the car, slamming the door as he did so.

Lin was sure she heard him utter something but couldn’t make out what it was. It didn’t matter. All that mattered to her was escaping those dark, questioning eyes.

“Could you please speed up?” she asked. She’d always heard that taxi drivers in New York drove like bats out of hell. It was just her luck to get one who obeyed the speed limit. She needed to put as much distance between her and Nicholas Pemberton as quickly as humanly possible.

The driver put the pedal to the metal.

“Thanks,” Lin said.

“Anytime, but if I get a ticket, you’re gonna be sorry.”

“I’ll take the chance,” Lin replied. She closed her eyes, hoping the driver would be quiet. She had to think.

Never in a million years had she imagined herself in such a situation. Those first few weeks alone with Will had been the hardest. She’d often imagined what it would have been like to have a husband there to relieve her when she’d been so tired, it was all she could do to keep her eyes open. That was when she’d started writing the letters again, even though the previous ones had been returned unopened. As each one came back, Lin would make up some wild excuse for why Nick couldn’t come for her and their son. After years of doing that, she finally admitted to herself that she was nothing more than a spring fling to Nick, if that. Now here she was, an adult, in a city of millions, and he was the first man she had seen. Knowing it was pure coincidence didn’t help, either. There was no way he could have known Will would be attending NYU. Hell, he didn’t even know that the kid existed. Finding her in the crowd of hundreds, Lin also put down to coincidence. It had to be, she assured herself once again, since Nicholas Pemberton hadn’t the first clue that he had fathered a child. Her worries were unnecessary. The odds of Will and Nick meeting face-to-face were slim. Even if they did, it wouldn’t matter. Yes, the resemblance was remarkable, but only to those who knew. And only two people knew what had happened that long-ago night.

The taxi pulled up to the curb in front of the Helmsley. Lin breathed a sigh of relief. She gave the guy a fifty-dollar bill. “Keep the change.”

“Thanks, lady.”

Lin would’ve paid a thousand dollars if she’d had to, anything to get the hell away from Nick. Recognizing her, the doorman assisted Lin as she emerged from the taxi. After reaching into her purse, she tucked a ten-dollar bill into the palm of his white-gloved hand. She’d best find an ATM soon. Her supply of cash was dwindling faster than she’d anticipated.

Back in her room, she took off the black dress, swearing she would never wear it again, because it would evoke too much anger. She stuffed it into a laundry bag for disposal. She’d seen enough garbage cans on the streets of Manhattan. Someone would be in for a nice surprise on discovering the dress.

In the bathroom she filled the Jacuzzi tub with hot water, poured some bath salts beneath the flow, then grabbed a Diet Coke from the minibar. Lin kept her cell phone with her. She looked at the clock. Eleven. Sally would still be up. She piled her hair on top of her head, securing it with a barrette. After immersing herself in the warm, scented water, Lin dialed her best friend’s cell number.

Sally picked up on the first ring. “I had a feeling it was you. What’s up?”

“You can thank caller ID for that feeling, and you’re never going to believe what I’m about to tell you. Are you sitting down?”

“Actually, I was just about to leave the restaurant. I stayed late to make sure the crew cleaned up after themselves. You should’ve seen the piles of garbage they left yesterday. I wanted to fire the entire lot of them, but this late in the game we’d be lucky to find replacements.”

At that moment Lin couldn’t have cared less about the diner. “So do whatever you think needs to be done. You’re the manager.”

“
Lin!
” Sally cried. “This is your baby, remember?”

“Yes, but that’s not why I called.” Lin paused, suddenly unsure if she wanted to tell Sally about the evening.
Yes. No. Hell, yes! I have to tell someone.

“You sound excited. You’re not hurt, are you?” Sally asked, her voice rising a notch.

“No, no. I’m fine. Physically at least.” Lin rubbed her foot across the pulsing jet of water at the end of the huge tub. “And before you ask, Will is fine, too.”

“You know me well. So, tell me what it is you’re just dying to tell me. I can hear it in your voice. It’s something big, isn’t it? Did you meet someone?”

Here goes,
Lin thought. “Yes and yes.”

“Shit-house mouse! Lin, don’t give me that crap! Either spit it out, or I’m hanging up. I hate it when you drag things out. You know that!” the voice on the other end of the line screeched.

Lin wasn’t purposely trying to drag out the conversation. She just wasn’t sure where to start. The beginning would probably be best. “Tonight, when I first arrived at the banquet for the incoming students, I was searching the crowd for Will when I saw this man looking at me. There was something about him that was familiar. Then he took a flute of champagne from a waiter, lifted it in my direction, as though he wanted to know if it was okay for him to bring it to me.”

“Don’t tell me you screwed this up, Lin. Please. You know what a short supply of sophisticated men we have in Dalton. And the ones that are remotely half-assed smart are married or gay.”

“If you’ll stop interrupting me, I’ll finish.”

“Sorry. Go on.”

“The closer this guy came to me, the more familiar he became. I had to do a double take just to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. I’m still in shock, Sally, because it was the one and only Mr. Nicholas Pemberton.” Lin waited, allowing Sally a minute to soak up the info.

After more than a minute Sally spoke. “Are you sure?” she hissed.

“Of course I’m sure. If I was even the least bit unsure when I first saw him, I was convinced one hundred percent when the dean introduced him as the closing speaker. He hasn’t changed at all. He’s as handsome as ever, maybe even more so.”

“Go on,” Sally encouraged.

“When he stood at the podium, making his speech, I swear I thought I would faint. My hands were shaking so bad, it’s a miracle my jewelry didn’t fly off. I didn’t know what to do, so I told Will I had to go. Said I’d ordered a taxi. When he offered to walk me out, I all but shouted ‘No,’ so the entire crowd heard me. Nick stopped talking. Luckily, I found a taxi, and as we were about to leave, Nicholas raced over to the car. I just knew he was going to say my name. I…Then he placed my wrap on the seat, telling me I’d left it at the coat-check counter. He must have seen me check it when I arrived.”

“That’s it?” Sally stated.

“I think it’s more than enough! What if he recognized me?” Lin took a drink of her Diet Coke. “What could I have told Will at that point, today of all days?”

“In the back of your mind you had to know this day would come. Or did you think the perfect life you created for Will wouldn’t change? I know, I know he doesn’t know about Nick, but the chance has always been there that he’d find out. He’s bound to ask questions about his father, that
fictional
father who just happened to die in an accident. Besides, you can’t haul those damned letters around forever.”

Tears filled Lin’s eyes when she realized the mess she’d made. Her intention had been to protect Will. “I’m going to burn those letters tonight, as soon as I get out of the tub. There’s a giant ashtray in the sitting area, and several books of matches. I am going to watch as they burn, Sally. I swear. I don’t want Will to find them. Ever. If they’re gone, then every trace of my relationship with Nick will be wiped off the face of the earth.”

“I’m not so sure I’d get rid of those letters. You never know. Someday you might need them.”

Lin blotted her eyes with a damp washcloth. “I can’t imagine why, unless I want to continue to torture myself. They’re so juvenile, Sally. I swear, I can’t believe I stooped that low. I practically begged the guy to come and rescue Will and me.”

“You did what any young girl in your shoes would’ve done. You were seventeen! Cut yourself some slack, Lin.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You haven’t read the letters.”

“I wouldn’t, either, Lin. Those are your private words and thoughts. Quit beating yourself up. You said yourself that Nicholas didn’t recognize you. I would forget it ever happened.”

Lin sniffed, then dabbed at her eyes with the hem of a bath towel hanging next to the tub. “I guess you’re right. If he remembered me, surely he would’ve said something. I just can’t help but think something tragic is going to happen. It’s like seeing Nick has opened a can of worms. I don’t like the feeling, either. What if something happens to Will while he’s in the city? I would never forgive myself, Sally. I’d be better off dead. I wouldn’t have a life if it weren’t for Will. Hell, that son of a bitch father of mine would’ve killed me, too, if I hadn’t escaped. Well, that’s not quite true—he tossed me out. It’s just easier for me to think I escaped on my own. I thank God I was pregnant.” It had always been Lin’s belief that her father had shoved her mother down those steep basement steps. Her mother’s death was too timely, too convenient. There were times when she was sorry she hadn’t had the death investigated. And all those times she’d convinced herself that Will was more important.

“Stop it! You can’t let this get to you. Nick is not going to find out about Will.”

“I can only hope.”

“What if he does? Would that truly be the end of the world?” Sally asked.

Lin heard the car door slam. Sally was home. They’d talked the entire drive.

“It isn’t Nick’s feelings I’m concerned with. It’s Will’s. I’ve always taught him to tell the truth, no matter what. What kind of mother teaches a child to be honest when her own life is nothing but a lie?”

“Knowing Will, he’d understand. Oh, he might be pissed for a while, but in time I think he’d get over it. You’ve been good to him, Lin. Hell, you’ve been just as good to me and Lizzie. I would’ve left Dalton a long time ago if not for you. You gave me a reason to stay.”

“I did?” Lin questioned.

“Hell, yes! You’re like a sister to me. You gave me the best job ever. You pay me way more than I’m worth. And don’t say it’s not true, because we both know it is.”

“You’re worth every cent, and you know it.”

“I am, aren’t I?”

They both laughed.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done all these years without you, Jack, and Irma. Ya’ll are my real family.” Lin’s Southern accent was much more pronounced when she was upset.

“It doesn’t take blood ties to be a family. I think of that every time I look at Lizzie. I’d kill someone over that girl.” Lizzie was Sally’s sister’s child. Mary Kay had died just weeks after giving birth to Lizzie. Sally had taken her and raised her as her own, knowing that Carl, her brother-in-law, would’ve treated Lizzie as badly as he’d treated Mary Kay.

“I know what you mean. If anyone were to harm a hair on Will’s head, I wouldn’t think twice about killing them. As a matter of fact, I don’t know of any mother who wouldn’t kill to protect her children.”