Revoltingly Young (17 page)

“
We could do it in a bed.”

“
Nah, I like the ambiance we’ve got going here. Just hurry before I chicken out.”

And so we did it right there on the sofa while Frank sang about being miserable at three o’clock in the morning. Veeva took off all of her clothes. Quite amazing. The first time I had seen a chick stark naked. Very nice breasts and lots of smooth white skin. Blondish pubic hair pruned fashionably short for easy access. Pretty soon I had the condom on and she was guiding me to the spot. A bit of resistance, but suddenly I was sliding all the way inside. Without thinking about it I knew to start gliding in and out. Veeva moaned and said not to stop. Well, even encased in latex, my wang was having a hell of a grand time, but I wasn’t prepared for how great the rest of it felt too–her breasts against my chest, her arms around me, her lips softly kissing mine. No way I could stop that runaway freight train. I gushed several gallons into the condom, withdrew, and suggested we take a brief breather.

“
That was a lot easier than I expected, Noel. I think it’s good that you’re not that large.”

Not exactly music to a guy’s ears, but I managed to get hard again soon. I slipped on the other condom and returned to that magical fairyland of silky warmth and delicious friction. This time we went at it for quite a while–the rubber helped. I don’t really see how guys could last for more than two seconds going in there bareback. We got a coordinated rhythm going that didn’t stop when the record ended. The last part we did while the needle went round and round in the groove. I came again in another wrenching explosion, then Veeva showed me how to stroke her clitoris lightly with the tip of my finger until this activity yielded some prolonged seismic shocks. After that we put our clothes back on and indulged in leisurely kisses while Frank sang away. Veeva said we would remember this night for the rest of our lives.

“
I’m glad my first time wasn’t horrible and I did it with a Twisp–just like my aunt Sheeni. And in Nick’s house too. That’s special.”

“
And even with his own condoms,” I pointed out. “I hope they’re not the same ill-fated brand he was using with Sheeni.”

“
Don’t get me paranoid, Noel. I am
not
getting pregnant.”

“
Glad to hear it.”

I wanted to sleep with Veeva in her room, but she said it would be too tempting, and we didn’t dare borrow any more condoms from Nick’s stash. Our having sex was a development she didn’t want getting back to her mother, as she would kill her for sure. So we kissed in the hallway, whispered “I love you,” and retreated to our separate bedrooms.

No sign of my brother yet. Quite the night. He turned 30 and I lost my virginity. Wow, I still can’t believe it. I feel different though. Maybe more mature or something.

TUESDAY, August 2 – Hurtling north through the Nevada desert. That sounds more interesting than saying I’m on the bus back to Winnemucca. Veeva found temptation hard to resist, and sneaked into my room early this morning. Her robe she left on the rug beside my bed. We necked and fondled to a frenzied pitch, then took turns trying out oral sex. I went first. Rather aromatic, but nice. Her item is easier to feel with your tongue than your finger. Quite a tiny thing to be so packed with nerves. I like for this task you can get very close to your work; the pussy at that distance is quite a marvelous thing to behold. Veeva seemed to be enjoying my efforts and soon was flopping about like one of ol’ Mr. Tuelco’s rainbow trout, fresh from the mountain stream. Then she did me. Amazing to feel someone’s warm mouth engulfing you, and their tongue swirling around your tip and down just a bit into your opening. Veeva seemed a little grossed out when I came, but as they lecture us in school: a person’s actions have consequences. She swallowed most of it, which may have violated her principles. Those little guys never walked, but I imagine they were swimming like mad.

No sign of my brother’s Beemer, but he came wandering out of his bedroom around 10:00 looking much the worse for wear. He was delivered here sometime last night by cab. I made him some breakfast and he gradually revived. He didn’t seem so depressed now that his birthday was over and Ada had moved out. Pretty soon we were yucking it up over family history, such as the time he tried changing my diaper as a baby and I wiggled loose.

“
The loudest crack I ever heard,” Nick declared, “was that poor kid’s head hitting the floor.”

“
Well, that explains a lot,” said Veeva. “I was wondering about Noel.”

“
At least I have an excuse,” I retorted. “Your impairments are purely genetic.”

We also got my brother to divulge that he and Sheeni had tied the knot in a place called Yazoo City, Mississippi. Nick lied about his age and used a fake I.D., which is why (he claims) the marriage didn’t count. Hell, for all he knows, he might still be legally married to Veeva’s aunt, her French spouse notwithstanding. I like that Nick got married in Mississippi, former home of my own dear love. Perhaps we can get hitched there too. I must research Mississippi marriage laws; they seem promisingly lax.

Eventually, Nick phoned his assistant Derek, who arrived to take us to the airport and bus station before going on to locate his boss’s car. I gave my brother an actual hug, and he slipped me a $100 bill. I guess, all in all, it’s a good thing having a brother. Interestingly, Nick never says “good-bye.” That’s considered bad luck in his profession. Instead he said, “See you down the road, kid.”

In Derek’s car Veeva and I didn’t say much, since little personal assistants can have big ears. She did whisper she had some news which she would tell me about later. God, I hope she hasn’t figured out already that’s she’s pregnant.

Damn! I can’t remember what the hell we did with those used condoms!

4:15 p.m. Still on the road. The foam died long ago in these seats, something most of the lard butts on this bus may not have noticed, but my skinny ass is whimpering in agony. To distract myself I’ve been thinking about Uma. I realize now it’s possible to have wild sex with one chick while remaining loyal in your heart to another. In fact, I feel I love Uma even more now that I’ve had a foretaste of our future lovemaking. Somehow I have to convey to her the good news that I am now experienced sexually (what she seeks in a first-time partner) without giving her the impression that I cheated on her. This will take some finagling. I don’t feel she should mind my practicing with someone else in order to bring improved skills to bear on her.

All this sounded perfectly logical until I asked myself whether I’d mind if Uma practiced similarly on say Scott Chandler. I found this wouldn’t bother me as long as I got to strangle Scott later with my bare hands. There’s a logical explanation for this dichotomy: Guys can have sex impersonally, but it’s always more significant for chicks because they are accepting another person inside them. Therefore that deed can never be shrugged off by the wronged boyfriend (me, for example). Chicks, though, may not perceive the crystalline clarity of this reasoning. For example, I notice Ada wasn’t hanging around long after Nick cheated on her. She also expressed a desire to work in his mouth with sharp instruments–and probably without anesthetics.

The other troubling aspect of my present situation is I really like Veeva and would very much like to get it on with her again. I do love that girl–just not the same way that I love Uma. It appears that three generations of our families have been going at it. Clearly, we have a well-demonstrated sexual affinity. Let’s face it: you can’t fight destiny when it’s that strong.

Of course, I can’t delude myself either. If things had worked out as Veeva had planned, it would have been Tyler she was putting the moves on in Nick’s house and not me. I wonder if he could have upheld his chastity vow with Veeva clamoring to do it? Fortunately, the Fates intervened, and thanks to the manly sport of football I now have a sex life.

9:27 p.m. It’s always hard to come back to this trailer after one has been someplace nice. I think this is why most trailer residents never go anywhere except (as is frequently the case) to jail. Grandma was happy to see me, though she reported that my employer was shocked and appalled to hear I’d left town again. Hey, aren’t people allowed to have personal lives?

I called my darling and found her camping for the night at Mary Glasgow’s. Already new toenail adornments have been experimented with. Why is it that chicks can have sleep-overs, but if guys try it, everyone assumes they’re testing for the remake of
Brokeback Mountain
? We chatted for a bit, and she agreed to swing by tomorrow for Bingo Night.

I got some interesting e-mails. First, I received an angry one from Awanee informing me that she was breaking up with me. She felt that I was distant and indifferent, and she thought Toby was blatantly racist. Probably correct on all three counts. I replied that I would always cherish our times together–brief as they were, and that she could keep the ring. The addendum I tacked on to mess with her head.

I also got this e-mail from Veeva, which I’m pasting here in its entirety:

Hi, Noel Sweetie!!

I’ve been calling you ALL day!! Why don’t you ANSWER?! Did you FORGET to turn on your cell phone?!! [Veeva likes to shout in her e-mails. She’s also apparently unfamiliar with the geography of central Nevada. The few towns along Route 95 have about 12 people each; nobody’s investing big bucks to install cellular towers out there.] I had an AMAZING time with you. You are such a NEAT person. Btw, I know how you guys like to BRAG about your CONQUESTS. If possible, though, could you not BLAB to Tyler about us? I would REALLY appreciate it!!! [Actually, guys don’t brag about these things; they merely swap information just as chicks do. But I suppose I can consider her request.]

Another slight NITPICK: You left the used items and torn WRAPPERS right by Nick’s sofa. Not very BRIGHT!! Fortunately, I found them and DISPOSED of them in time. I also made a GREAT DISCOVERY!!! While putting away the records, I found a LETTER from SHEENI to NICK in one of the album covers. It was in a Frank Sinatra album titled “My One and Only Love.” Get it???? My ONE and ONLY Love!!! Nick still LOVES Sheeni!!! That is why his LIFE is on HOLD!!! [Or the letter might just have slipped in there by mistake. If he loves only Sheeni, why is he now throwing himself at Reina?] In the letter Sheeni apologizes for DITCHING Nick!!! It appears she left him WITHOUT A WORD!!! Also, she mentions falling in love with a CLOWN named Alfredo Nunez and hiding out with his brother’s family in southern France. I found out something INTERESTING about that clown!!! [Could it be the same clown that Reina was married to? That would be getting too incestuous.] We MUST discuss this!!! Please CALL me A.S.A.P.!!!!

LOVE you!!!

Veeva

Is that girl intense or what? No wonder she’s such a firecracker in the sack. I gave her a call, and of course her LINE was BUSY!!! Uh-oh, now she’s got me doing it.

11:14 p.m. Finally got through to Veeva. She explained she had been discussing her weekend with her girlfriend Maddy. More likely bragging about her conquest, but I let that one pass.

“
So what’s this about some clown?” I asked.

“
I found a picture of him on the Web, Noel. Guess what?”

“
What?”

“
Alfredo Nunez is a dwarf!”

“
Oh, really? You mean Sheeni ditched my brother for a dwarf?”

Another blow to the tattered Twispian ego.

“
Apparently so, Noel. Now, here’s where it gets interesting. While I was staying with my aunt in Lyon, François warned me not to go down in their cellar because he had some valuable wines stored there.”

“
Who’s François?”

“
Aunt Sheeni’s husband, of course. The guy is totally devastating. Well, I had no interest in their damn cellar until he told me to keep out of it.”

“
So naturally you had to explore it.”

“
Naturally, I did, though I wasn’t interested in his dusty old wine bottles. But I found this storage room with a bunch of old piled up boxes and trunks.”

“
Which you snooped through.”

“
Did I ever. It was most interesting. Well, I uncovered an ancient French-language typewriter. In a battered old case. And do you know what I discovered in a pocket of that case?”

“
Alfredo Nunez the dwarf?”

“
No, idiot. I found a photo. A most curious photo.”

“
OK, so tell me.”

“
It was the photograph of a dwarf in a green suit holding a little baby.”

“
Do you think it was Alfredo?”

“
Well, it’s been a couple of years, but I’m almost positive it’s the same guy. He’s very dark, but the baby was light-skinned and blond. It looked like a little girl.”

“
So what are you saying?”

“
Sheeni didn’t have an abortion, Noel.”

“
Really? You think not?”

“
I’m almost sure of it. You have a niece and I have a cousin–somewhere–that we didn’t even know about.”

“
Wow, that’s amazing. That means my brother might have a daughter around our age.”

“
That’s right, Noel. And I don’t think he’s even aware of her existence. This explains a lot.”

“
Like what?”

“
Like why my aunt is so secretive about her past. I’ll bet François doesn’t know about her first child either.”