Authors: Missy Johnson
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Genre Fiction, #Coming of Age, #Romance, #Contemporary, #New Adult & College
Chapter Twenty
Jill
“The American Civil War lasted from 1861 to 1865. Seven Southern states declared their succession from the United States . . .” I’m not focused and am thinking about our argument. We’ve only texted since I left his house on Sunday night. I was so mad—absolutely livid would be an understatement—and I still am.
How can he just switch our relationship on and off when it’s fucking convenient? He’s supposed to be the mature one, but it isn’t feeling like it.
“Jill,” Eli’s voice booms through my daze.
Perking up, I notice Eli looking at me with a frown. The entire class has their eyes on me. “Sorry, I missed your question,” I say.
Jesus, Jill . . . focus
.
“I asked, in 1880, which president opposed the expansion of slavery into US Territories?”
“Abraham Lincoln,” I reply quickly.
Eli sports a small smile and continues his lesson, questioning other students. Thank God I had read the book
Battle Cry of Freedom
by C. Vann Woodward, which we were required to do over the break.
My phone is sitting in between my thighs, and it vibrates. I position my laptop so no one will see me checking my message—especially Eli; I don’t want to give him reason to focus on me.
Alice: Hey bitch face. I’m coming to see you this weekend. Get ready to par-tay!
The text has made my day. I miss Alice, and having her here will give me the chance to tell her every little detail. She may act like she works in a whorehouse, but really she gives good, level-headed advice and always seems to know just what to say.
I make my way to the hot section of the cafeteria, where the lady behind the counter places soup on my tray. I thank her with kind eyes and grab a chocolate muffin, and then take a seat at a table with no students seated at it. I reach for the muffin I know I shouldn’t be eating and begin to unwrap it.
“Hey Jill, you sure you wanna do that? You look like you’ve packed on a few pounds. You’re not
pregnant,
are you?” Jamie yells from behind me. Students laugh and I lift my finger and flip him the bird, pretending his words don’t get to me.
Fucking asshole.
Out of nowhere, a female voice yells back, “Jamie,
tu es completement débile
. Remember the time you tried to fuck me but couldn’t get it up? If she
is
pregnant, I think we could all be pretty confident the baby isn’t yours, no?”
His dark eyes narrow on her, then me, before he stalks off, flinging his whole tray into the bin. Sophia slides into the seat next to me. I stare at her, shocked that such venom came from her, and I’m wondering if what she said about them hooking up is true. My mouth must be hanging open, because she rolls her eyes and laughs.
“Jill, close your mouth. You will catch the flies,” she says slowly, her accent thick.
I turn to face her, still in shock. “What did you call him?” I giggle.
“A moron.” She waves her hand.
“Thank you for sticking up for me. I usually just ignore him.”
“Don’t ignore him—stand up to him. He’s not worth your time.”
“What happened?” I ask curiously. “Did you really—”
“Gosh no, give me some credit.” She laughs. “Even I have standards, yes?” She shrugs dismissively, but I can tell she’s holding back on something—especially from the way Jamie stormed off. “His whole family is not nice people, but he can’t treat you like that.”
I would love to stand up to him, but I don’t know what he knows about me and Eli.
It’s unnerving and I don’t want to ruin our chance of being together, let alone anyone’s career. But then I think,
this
is
Jamie. If he did know something, surely he’d have used that to his advantage by now.
“Do you want to come to a party on Saturday night? I was invited by this boy that I quite like.” Sophia breaks off part of my muffin and puts it in her mouth.
“I would, but my best friend is here for the weekend and we’re spending Saturday night together,” I say, glad I can use Alice as an excuse. I’m not really the party kind of girl—
especially
after last time.
“Well, bring her along. We all like to party, yes?”
God, I love her accent.
Her big blue eyes grow wide as she smiles, waiting for me to answer.
I sigh, because I can tell she really wants me to go and I hate the thought of letting her down. “Sure, why not?” I give in. “I’ll run it past Alice.”
I already know for a fact that Alice will be up for a party. She is the queen of having fun. I’ll probably spend most of the night alone once Alice sets her eyes on some guy to screw her senseless—she’s been especially horny since starting at boarding school.
***
We sit on the grassy area above the bleachers, watching a group of seniors play football. Eli is out there too, and for once I can watch him without worrying that someone is going to notice.
Sophia shakes her head and laughs. “Just tell him you want to talk. I’m sorry, but you’re both acting like little children.”
I know she’s right, but the problem is we are both stubborn. I look up and see him staring at me. I look away, focusing back on tearing little blades of grass out from the ground beneath me. I hate fighting with him, but I can’t handle this on-again, off-again bullshit. Either he’s with me or he isn’t. It’s that simple.
Five minutes later, my phone buzzes. I look up and see that Eli has gone from the field.
Eli: I want to see you tonight. I miss you. I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want us to be over; I just need to be careful.
Me: I don’t like fighting either, but I’m not someone that is going to follow you around like a dog and jump on your lap when it suits you. You can’t train me.
Eli: That’s not what you are. Is your Mom working? I’ll come around. I just need to go and see Dad first.
Jamie pops into my head and I cringe. After Sophia stood up for me, I’m sure he’ll be out for my blood. I can’t risk Eli coming to mine.
Me: No, text me when you’re home and I’ll come to you.
Eli: Okay. Also—I fucking hate the way other guys stare at you. The way you were lying on the grass with your friend . . . it took everything for me not to come over and devour you.
I grin, because I love hearing that he’s as jealous as I am.
***
Mom left this afternoon for a work conference and I have the whole house to myself for the weekend. Through Sophia, I also learn that Jamie is away all weekend at football camp. I text Eli that he can come over and quickly tidy the house.
Dirty thoughts start racing through my mind of us having sex in my parents’ kitchen. On the sofa. Against the hallway wall. In the shower. Oh God, I’m going to be worn out just thinking about it all before he even gets here.
God help me if he decides he still wants to put our relationship on hold.
A knock sounds at the door and I jump up from reading a magazine on the kitchen table. My stomach has butterflies in it from excitement. I haven’t had Eli’s touch for five days and it’s killing me.
From the moment I open the door, the lust between us is palpable. I am like a moth and he is the flame.
“Hey,” I say. There’s a nervous tension in the air, and I know he feels it too.
“Hey yourself,” his husky voice replies. He walks inside and closes the door with his foot. I sigh as his hands caress the sides of my face as he presses his forehead to mine. He is so warm.
I’ve missed him so much.
“I’m trying to stay away but I can’t,” he says, pained. “Why does it have to be this fucking hard? I just want to be with you and say fuck it to everything else.”
I’m so glad I’m not the only one that feels this way.
I grab his hand and mine and pull him through the hallway and up the stairs to my bedroom. He doesn’t hesitate when I open my bedroom door. Clearly we’re on the same page: sex first, talk later.
I walk over to my bedside table and turn on a lamp. He’s still standing in the doorway, studying my room. I watch him as he takes everything in. Next to the balcony door is my queen-sized bed with white antique tables on each side. Above the bed is the large, bright contemporary oil painting that Alice painted for my birthday last year.
I walk over to the door and close the long-draped curtains, a deep purple with gold embroidery that matches my bedding. He walks toward me slowly, not taking his eyes from mine until he is standing in front of me. My heart races.
He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, and then he leans down and gently kisses my cheek. He releases my long hair from the constraint of its ponytail, sending it falling down my back. My heart swells at his tenderness.
“I’ve missed being able to kiss you,” he whispers.
I whimper as his lips touch mine, electricity pulsating though my veins. His fingers cradle my neck as he tastes me, every action tender and slow as if he wants to savor every moment.
He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist, my arms curling around his neck.
Slowly, he walks us over to the bed, laying me down gently in the middle.
“Tonight I want to take my time. I want to devour you slowly,” he whispers, his dark eyes burning with desire.
Unbuttoning my blouse, he motions for me to lift my hips and he gently tugs my pants off and discards them on the floor. I’m lying here in a silk bra and a matching thong, exposed and ready for him. My body tingles in anticipation as I wait for him to continue.
He leans over me and his head moves toward my stomach. Hands on my waist, he places soft, sweet kisses around my torso, inching upward to my breasts. I gasp as his mouth moves over my bra, his tongue trailing over the soft skin of my breasts before settling his mouth over mine. I smile, my legs curling around his waist, his erection pressing against me. I don’t feel the need to hurry this.
We kiss—and only kiss—for a long time. There is something so sexy about knowing what’s coming, the buildup to the moment. His eyes haven’t strayed from mine and I feel as if he’s seeing me in a whole different way.
My hands move under his shirt, massaging his skin as he rocks against me gently. I slowly lift the shirt up, and he places me on my feet to let me take his shirt off completely. Throwing it on the floor, I peck light kisses all over his chest.
His body is warm and his sexy, spicy scent invades my nostrils. With my forehead over his heart and his arms wrapped around me—
this
is what home feels like.
Trailing my hand down toward the button, I unzip his jeans and they fall to the floor. Taking his hardened cock in my hand, I rub him against my core, which is still protected by my underwear.
Eli picks me up and leans back against the wall, our mouths meeting again in a flurry of excitement. He pulls my underwear to the side, and his dick sits at my wet entrance. Closing my eyes, I wait for the moment when we become one again.
“Open your eyes, Jill. I want you to look at me,” he says.
As soon as I open my eyes, Eli slowly works his way into me until he can’t go any further. We haven’t taken our eyes off each other and he’s not moving. The moment is so intense that I can feel the emotion bubbling in me.
I wrap my legs around his hips, my hand roaming around his abs and back as he starts moving in and out slowly. He walks us over to the bed, laying me gently on my back. He hasn’t pulled out of me. His hands grab my head, forcing me to keep my face on him as he continues his agonizing slow lovemaking.
“I’m going to come soon,” I breathe heavily as my eyes start to close.
“Keep your eyes on me, Jill.”
The intensity is overpowering and the enormity of our love is overwhelming. A single tear rolls down the side of my face.
Eli quickens the pace and suddenly stills, shooting inside me as an intense orgasm wracks my frame. We lay there, tightly hugging, neither of us willing to let go of the present
***
We’re wrapped in a sheet, lying on our sides, facing each other.
“I’m going to another party tomorrow night.” I watch his reaction.
“I thought you said you don’t like parties,” he replies. Though he’s smiling, I can see the anxiety in his eyes.
Anyone would think he doesn’t want me to go.
“I don’t. But Sophia likes a guy, and being the good friend that I am, I said I’d go. I’ll probably only have one drink,” I add. “Besides, last week you were ready to leave me to be a teenager.”
“I just don’t want any other guys touching you,” he grumbles. “Especially drunk guys who don’t know that you’re taken. Call me if you need anything, okay? Anything at all—it doesn’t matter what time it is.”
This is the first time I’ve had a male figure—other than my Dad—truly worry about me. I love the feeling of being protected.
“Okay, I’ll call you if I need anything.” I offer him a small smile. “Really, you don’t know what that means to me, knowing that you care so much.”