Rhapsody (41 page)

There would be the Get Even Group, those who
would tell her to try to get the "goods" on Misha, then run
straight to the best divorce lawyers in New York and stick it to
him royally, in court. Revenge, they would happily inform her, is
the best medicine.

The Psychobabble Bunch would tell her to
discuss it with her analyst. She did have one, didn't she? Then,
talk to a good marriage counselor. Get Misha to go with her, and
try to work it out.

Then there would be the Boy Toy Bunch, that
brittle, sophisticated set who would laugh it off and tell her she
was lucky he had an outside interest—to get one for herself.
Preferably young and hot and horny. Didn't everybody nowadays?

Sonia returned from the kitchen with a small
tray. On it were two glasses of ice and a bottle of San Pelligrino.
She set it down on the coffee table and filled both the glasses,
then handed Vera one.

"Here, darling," she said. "A little
sparkling water. Is that okay?"

"That's perfect," Vera said, taking the glass
from her. "Thanks, Sonia."

Sonia took one for herself and sat back down.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, looking at Vera.

Vera took a sip of the water, then set her
glass down. "I don't know where to begin," she said, "but I'll
try." She took a deep breath, then gave Sonia a quick rundown on
Misha's increasing restlessness and inattentiveness. She told her
how it had been going on for a long time, and was getting much
worse lately.

"Missing Nicky's birthday party was a good
example," Vera said. "He didn't even bother making excuses. He just
said he'd been tied up."

Sonia nodded thoughtfully. "Have other things
like that happened?" she asked. "Since then?"

"Oh, yes," Vera said. "It's getting a lot
worse. It happens all the time now, in fact. He'll be practicing,
then suddenly get up and say he has to go over to Manny's. He'll be
gone all afternoon, and Manny will call for him while he's
gone."

"Stupid man!" Sonia said. "That's so sloppy!
Not even covering his bases!"

Vera couldn't help but laugh. "Not very
clever," she agreed. "If I ask him about it, he'll say he got
waylaid.

Be very vague. Then sometimes he'll be late
for dinner or miss dinner entirely. He'll make really lame excuses
or he won't even bother. It's as if he doesn't care."

"This does not sound good," Sonia conceded.
"It ...it reminds me of the way he used to behave when he was
defying us for some reason or other. Or"—Sonia looked at her
daughter-in-law—"keeping guilty secrets from us."

"Exactly," Vera said. "That's the way it
seems to me, and that's what has me so worried. He's never been
like this before."

Vera took a sip of water and cleared her
throat before continuing. "Another highly suspicious thing is the
way he'll sometimes lavish attention on Nicky and me. Suddenly.
From out of the blue. For absolutely no reason." She shrugged.
"It's as if he were trying to make up for something."

"Uh-oh," Sonia said, arching an all-knowing
brow. "I smell a fish. Yes. I most definitely smell a fish."

Vera looked at her mother-in-law, then began
twisting her wedding band and engagement ring around her finger, an
unconscious nervous tic Sonia recognized all too well. She took a
deep breath and expelled a heavy sigh. "But the worst thing," she
finally said, "is that he . . he doesn't want me anymore. Not
...sexually." She looked down at her hands for a moment, then back
up at Sonia. Her face was etched with grief. "That's so hard to
live with," she said miserably.

"Oh, darling," Sonia said, "that must be
truly humiliating for you. You must be devastated."

"Yes," Vera said calmly, "I am. I feel
utterly abandoned and ...unloved." Her voice choked. "It ... it
makes me feel like a failure, Sonia. I'm flooded with a sense of
failure." Tears came into her eyes again, and she wiped them away
with a Kleenex.

"Vera," Sonia said. "Come here." She patted
the couch with her hand. "Sit next to me."

Vera got to her feet and did as Sonia asked,
sitting on the cushion next to her. Sonia took Vera's hands in her
own and looked directly into her eyes.

"Listen to me," she said in a stern but
caring voice.

"And you listen hard. No matter what's going
on, whether all of your suspicions are right on the mark or not,
you must not think of yourself as a failure, Vera. Under no
circumstances. You have done nothing wrong here. You've been as
good a mother and wife as I've ever seen."

"But I—I—" Vera began.

"Let me finish, Vera!" Sonia said
emphatically. "Nicky alone is proof of what a wonderful mother
you've been. You haven't let your job or Misha's work interfere
with raising him. As far as Misha goes, you've made him extremely
happy in the past, Vera. You've traveled with him, sometimes at the
drop of a hat, and you've made a marvelous social life for him. His
work— his whole life!—has been greatly enriched by you. All of our
lives have been."

She gave Vera's hands a gentle squeeze, and
Vera started to speak again.

"Sonia, I—"

"Hear me out!" her mother-in-law said. "You
work wonders for the auction house. You work on committees and
boards. And even with all that going on, you run the household
extraordinarily well. Everybody knows that. Dmitri knows that. Your
parents know that. I know that better than anyone."

Sonia paused and took a deep breath, then
leaned forward and kissed Vera on the cheek and released her hands.
"Now," she said, "I've had my say."

Vera, though teary-eyed, smiled at her
formidable mother-in-law. "Thanks, Sonia," she said softly. "I
really do appreciate your vote of confidence, and I guess what
you're saying is true. But still ... I feel like I must be doing
something very, very ...wrong. Don't you see?"

"No, I don't see!" Sonia snapped in
exasperation. "I don't think you've done anything wrong. But I
strongly suspect that Misha has!" She sighed heavily. "He could
never keep it in his pants."

Vera didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She
looked at Sonia in surprise, even though she knew the truth of her
words. Her mother-in-law, she thought, always seemed to hit the
nail on the head.

"You're right," she said calmly. "I've always
known that. I guess I just hoped that ...that all that would end
when we got married." Her face looked stricken, and her voice
acquired an edge of panic. "If I only knew what to do," she
cried.

Sonia took hold of her hands again. "If he
keeps behaving this way, there'll come a point, I think, when
you'll have to confront him one way or the other." She sighed
again. "Oh, darling, I wish I could be of more help. You know I'll
do anything I can. I'll certainly keep my eyes and ears open. In
the meantime, try to make the best of it—easier said than done, I
know. But try to stick with it. Act like nothing is out of the
ordinary. Maybe that would be the best policy right now. For
Nicky's sake—and your marriage. Do you think you can do that?"

"I honestly don't know," Vera said. "I'm very
busy and that helps. But I ... I feel ...abandoned." She looked
into her mother-in-law's eyes. "Oh, Sonia," she said, her voice
cracking, "without him I'm so ... lonely."

"You're a worse fool than I thought," Coral
said harshly. She was seated rigidly in a chrome and black leather
Le Corbusier chair, eyes flashing emerald fury. "No. Scratch that,"
she snapped. "You are, bar none, the biggest fool I know."

"Oh, Coral," Serena said, her voice almost a
little-girl whine, "I just can't help it!" She flopped down on the
Le Corbusier chair's matching sofa, stretching out her long,
shapely legs. She glanced over at her furious agent, her eyes
expressing the bewilderment she felt. "I love him, Coral," she said
softly. "I really love him."

For a moment Coral looked like she was going
to be sick on the new loft's expensively finished floors. Even
beneath her mask of ghostly white powder, Serena thought she could
detect the blood draining from Coral's face. She quickly regained
her composure, however.

"Love?" she spat. "What on earth do you know
about love, Serena?"

"I know what I feel," Serena said
defensively. "And I really believe it's love. I've never had
feelings like this before, Coral."

"Feelings!" Coral glared at her with
imperious hauteur, and her words came in a staccato torrent. "Don't
make me laugh! It was feelings that got you hooked up with that
lowlife rock and roll star, Rick ...Rick ...Whoever! The one who
liked to beat up on you for his amusement. It was feelings, young
lady, that got you mixed up with that stoned-out drummer who liked
passing you around to his friends! Or was he the one that liked to
tie you up? Who remembers? They're only two in a long line of major
creeps. Your feelings, as you call them, Serena, have taken you to
some pretty awful places. I think I would be just a little bit
leery about trusting them if I were you."

"Oh, Jesus!" Serena groaned. She leapt to her
feet and made a beeline for die glass and steel drinks table, where
she splashed a generous portion of Jack Daniel's into a glass. "Do
you want something, Coral?" she asked petulantly.

"No, thank you," Coral said, watching her.
Then she added: "I thought you were laying off the booze with this
new diet of yours."

"I was," Serena said, tossing two ice cubes
in the glass. She gulped down half the drink in one large swallow,
then shuddered from its fiery passage down her throat. She walked
back to the couch and sat down, placing the drink on the coffee
table.

"Why do you always have to bring up all that
old shit, Coral? It's ancient history, and you know it." She
glanced at her agent, who was drumming her fingernails on the
armchair, as if she were impatiently indulging a wayward child.

"I'm a different person now," Serena claimed
in a strident voice. "I've done a lot of growing up since then.
Hell, I'm thirty years old."

"Then try to act it," Coral said. She looked
at Serena quizzically. "Don't you see a pattern in your behavior,
Serena? It's as plain as the nose on that beautiful face of
yours."

"What?" Serena asked.

"You've gone from one impossible relationship
to another," Coral said. "From one abusive man to another."

"Misha is not abusive," Serena said angrily.
"He's gentle and kind and—"

"And married!" Coral said with emphasis.
"Married! With a child, for God's sake! Have you given that any
thought?"

Serena took a sip of her drink, then
stretched out on the couch again, holding the drink on her stomach
and staring up at the ceiling.

Yes! she wanted to scream at Coral. Of course
I've thought about it And I've decided that I don't really give a
damn. If somebody gets hurt, too bad. This is my chance for love,
and I'm going to take it. I blew it once before, and I'm not going
to make that mistake again.

She didn't think it was wise to share these
thoughts with Coral, however.

"Yes," she said, "I've thought about it. I've
thought about it a lot, as a matter of fact." She sat back up and
placed her drink on the table. "Listen," she said evenly, looking
over at Coral again. "Misha is really miserable in his marriage and
has been for a long time. He married her on the rebound from me,
you know. I think he was actually trying to get back at me by
marrying her."

Coral emitted an audible sigh. "That's what
he's told you?" she asked.

"That he's unhappily married? Yes. That he
married her on the rebound? Yes." Serena nodded. "He didn't exactly
tell me he'd married her to get back at me, but that's what I
think."

"So it was all just a little mistake," Coral
said sarcastically. "Marrying her and fathering a child."

"Yes!" Serena said angrily. "It was!"

"And where does the child fit into all of
this?" Coral asked. "Or has he even mentioned the little bundle of
joy?"

"Jesus, Coral," Serena cried. "He adores his
son. Of course he's mentioned him."

"And he's willing to virtually give up this
son he adores so much so he can be with you. Yes?" Coral's eyes
glittered malevolently.

Serena shrugged. "I—I don't know," she
stammered. "We haven't really discussed that."

"Perhaps you should," she said. "Perhaps
you'll take this innocent child into account the next time you and
Misha Levin get cozy," she said.

"Oh, hell," Serena lashed out. "What do you
know about these things anyway? You don't even like men!"

Coral digested this comment in silence. When
she finally spoke, her voice was soft. "I thought you were a little
sick of them yourself," she said. "I know there was a time when you
were." She gave Serena a knowing look.

Serena tossed her long, raven hair and looked
away, ignoring Coral and remaining silent.

"But I think that's beside the point really,"
Coral went on. "What we're talking about here is a relationship,
and I do know a bit about them, even if I'm not involved with a
man. Brandi and I have been together for over twenty years, and it
hasn't always been easy, believe me. Love is great, wonderful. But
it's taken work to make a go of it, and a lot of it. And that's
without the complications of a divorce or a child entering the
picture."

"I know," Serena said contritely. "I'm sorry
I said what I did, Coral. That was a low blow."

"That's okay, Serena," she replied. "You're
angry with me, and I can understand that. But you've got to
remember that I'm thinking about you. I really believe that you've
got some very serious soul-searching to do, Serena. Getting
involved with somebody like Misha Levin is entirely different from
having a little fling with one of the celebrities you
photograph."

"I know it is," Serena said, nodding.

"You were terribly hurt by him once," Coral
said, "and I hate to see you get hurt again."