Ride the Tiger (15 page)

As she padded barefoot down the hall, Dany tried to steady her heart, which was beating like a throbbing drum in her breast. Anticipation and dread moved through her simultaneously as she approached the drawing room. When she reached the doorway, she slowed, her thoughts and feelings in utter disarray. She touched her hair, gathered into a thick braid. How messy she must look! She swiped at her wispy bangs, to make sure they weren't matted against her forehead.

It was painful to walk quietly into the drawing room. Gib stood tensely at the window, his hands thrust into the pockets of his dark green slacks, a briefcase at his feet. The crisp white short-sleeved shirt he wore clung to his chest and back, already damp from the late May heat that would soon be broken by returning monsoon rains. He hadn't heard her enter, and Dany stood a moment, absorbing the sight of his harsh profile silhouetted by the light filtering through the gossamer curtains.

His feet were planted slightly apart, as if in determination, but his shoulders drooped. It looked as if the many loads he carried were getting to him. It was then that Dany began to realize just how exhausted Gib really must be. His skin was taut across his cheekbones, his usually full mouth thinned and tucked in at the corners as if he were experiencing some kind of pain. Darkness hovered beneath his eyes. At the discovery of his evident suffering, Dany gave a little cry of distress.

Hearing a muffled cry, Gib jerked around to see Dany standing in the doorway. No matter how he'd planned to guard his feelings, to control himself, the sight of her standing there, her eyes huge with anxiety, her lips parted and looking incredibly lush and inviting, destroyed his resolve. She was beautiful. Exquisitely beautiful in her uncertainty—poised as if not knowing whether to run from him or to him. Without taking time to think, Gib found himself striding toward her, his arms open, his heart ruling his needs.

As he swept Dany into his arms, Gib no longer cared what his head was screaming at him. All he cared about, wanted, was this precious woman. As she melted into his arms, her hands sliding up across his shoulders, he groaned, not daring to believe what he saw in her lustrous eyes.

Stunned Dany sank into Gib's welcoming arms. “Gib—I've missed you so much,” she murmured, and tilted her head to meet his descending mouth. Her world rocked to a halt as his mouth hungrily found hers. He was strong, searching, seemingly starved for the taste and touch of her. With a moan, she matched his hunger, her breath coming in ragged gasps as he plundered her lips, asking for access and receiving it. The smell of him, the texture of his recently shaved face spurred her heightened, famished senses. As his hand captured her hips solidly against him, his other hand slowly moving down her spine, pressing her completely against his body, Dany grew weak with need.

She felt as if she were melting into Gib. Unable to get enough of him, she kissed him repeatedly, her hands framing his face, reveling in the feel of his roughened, tanned skin. Sliding her fingers through the short, thick hair at the nape of his neck, she felt every nuance of her body flare with heat, with urgency. She felt the tension in Gib as well, the fine trembling that told her he was close to losing control. Every muscle in his neck stood out as she caressed him, then gently ran her fingers across his broad shoulders.

Finally, slowly, Dany felt him ease her away from him just enough so that he could look down at her. She burned beneath the light in his shadowed gaze, a delicious sizzle of heat collecting deep within her, making her want him even more. As if in one of her many dreams, Dany reached up and caressed his cheek and jaw. Gib shuddered, his hands tightening momentarily on her upper arms.

“Gib...this shouldn't be happening,” Dany whispered unsteadily.

Gib smiled shakily down at Dany, drowning in her lovely emerald eyes filled with what looked so much like love for him. He saw the golden flecks in her eyes, a sign that she was happy, and knew the feverish kisses they'd shared had been responsible. “I'm glad it happened—” And Gib couldn't say anything more because Dany threw her arms around his neck and pressed herself completely against him. He took her full weight and stood, holding her, his eyes closed. This was what he'd wanted. What he'd needed above all else.

“You're all I'll ever need,” he managed to say huskily. “All I'll ever want. God, how I've missed you, Dany, missed hearing your voice...seeing you....” He buried his face in the mass of her thick black hair. The urge to unbraid it and sift it through his hands had been part of the torrid dreams that haunted him each night. It would be so easy to do it now.

Burying her face against his damp cotton shirt, Dany couldn't say anything. She simply clung to Gib, feeling his heart beat raggedly against her, feeling his warm breath cascade across her. His hands lovingly stroked her back and shoulders—a dream come true. For the first time that she could remember, Dany surrendered herself utterly to someone else. How long she stood in the protective and loving circle of Gib's arm, she didn't know. It didn't matter.

When Ma Ling entered the room, Gib was the first to notice her. Reluctantly, he eased Dany away from him, his voice shaken. “I think our iced tea's here,” he told her thickly.

Embarrassed that Ma Ling had seen her in Gib's arms, Dany moved away on unsteady legs. Her nanny's eyes didn't show disapproval, only sadness. Dany raised a nervous hand to her flaming cheek and thanked Ma Ling as the
mamasan
silently deposited the tray on the coffee table and left. Standing in the quiet room, Dany stared at Gib. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes narrowed with fire. She trembled inwardly at how badly she wanted him.

“Please,” she whispered, making a weak gesture toward the sofa, “come and sit down.”

Reluctantly, Gib picked up his briefcase, his heart torn and heavy. He had kissed Dany as if he'd never get a chance to kiss or taste her again. Her lips were slightly swollen from his plundering hunger, and he felt guilty. Setting the briefcase down alongside the sofa, Gib walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

Her eyes were lustrous and dazed, telling him more clearly than words could, how she felt about him. When she tried to smile, the effort went straight through him, making him bleed even more for what he had to tell her. Gib hated himself. Hated what his message was going to do to them. His grip on her shoulders tightened. “Listen, sit down. We've got something serious to discuss, Dany.” Desperation filled him. “Look, no matter what I have to say, I want you to understand I didn't approve it, and I don't condone it. Do you understand that, Dany?”

Gib saw the joy in her eyes begin to dim at the warning tone in his voice. His whole world was coming apart before him. He was going to lose Dany. He knew it.

G
ib's hands were sweaty as he sat down next to Dany. “There's no easy way to say this,” he told her hoarsely. “I'm here under orders, Dany.”

Dany saw the agony in Gib's eyes, not understanding why he was so upset. Still shaky in the aftermath of their fiery kisses, she shrugged. “Just tell me, Gib. It's all right.”

If only he could take away the hurt he knew was going to inflict upon her. “I'm here as a liaison officer,” Gib said grimly, “a person who negotiates for high command. Dany, the government wants to buy your plantation and turn it into a heliport.” He saw the shock register in her eyes and dove on. “They've authorized me to offer you eight hundred thousand dollars in U.S. funds, if you'll sell, and—”

A cry wrenched from her and she stumbled to her feet. “No! Oh, Gib, you aren't serious, are you?” She stared down at him, her eyes round with disbelief.

“I'm dead serious, Dany.” Gesturing to the file he'd set on the coffee table earlier, Gib said, “All the papers are in there for you to sign. My government is willing to pay you fair market value for your land.” He forced himself to look up at Dany, trying to steel himself for what he knew he'd see. The accusation in her eyes was there, along with anger and the pain of betrayal. “I'm sorry. I didn't know anything about this until yesterday afternoon.”

“How could you?” Dany cried, her voice breaking. “How could
you
do this to me, Gib? You came here as a friend, someone who I...who I care about!” Angrily, she pointed to the file. “And now you bring me this outrageous, ridiculous proposal?”

Slowly, Gib stood. He opened his hands toward her. “Look, I know you're upset and angry, Dany, but I had no idea when we met that I'd be coming here in this capacity. Please, you've got to believe me.”

Dany moved away. Tears stung her eyes, but she forced them back. “I feel used, Gib,” she rasped. “Betrayed—by you.”

Hurt jagged through Gib and on its heels, anger. How frail and close to shattering Dany looked. “Look, there's more to this than you realize,” he continued, hating every word. “You have to sell. You don't have a choice. I asked Colonel Parsons, and he said that if you didn't willingly sign over your land, Logistics and the Vietnamese government would somehow get the property away from you anyway.” He saw the color drain from her face. “I'm sorry, Dany. I wish—I wish I could do something to stop this, to turn back the clock.”

“Wishes!” Dany spat, clenching her fists at her side. “All I wished for was a neutral peace for my people and my land. Is that too much to ask?” Her voice shook with real anger. “I was born in this house, and I'll die here! I'm not selling and I'm not moving. Not
ever.
”

Gib held onto his frustration. “Dany, if this was in my hands, if I could stop the military from taking your home, I would.”

Blindly, Dany lashed out, slapping his face. The sound seemed to echo through the suddenly quiet room. Horrified at what she'd just done, Dany stepped back, pressing her hand to her mouth. Gib winced and stood there in the aftermath, a look of hurt in his eyes as he raised his hand to touch the reddening spot on his right cheek.

“I guess I had that coming,” he muttered.

With a cry, Dany moved forward.

Gib stopped her. “No,” he rasped, “I'm okay.”

“I—I'm sorry, Gib. I'm angry and—”

“No,” he said roughly. Stepping away, he jabbed his finger toward the papers on the coffee table. “I'm sorry you can't separate me from these damned orders, Dany. I didn't want anything to do with this. I know what the land means to you. Read the documents, Dany. If you have any questions, contact me at the base. I'll try and help you as much as I can.” Gib spun on his heel and stalked out of the house.

As the screen door closed behind him, Dany stood shaking. She squeezed her eyes shut, and a sob caught in her throat. Sensing someone in the room, Dany looked up.

Ma Ling stood at the entrance, her eyes sad.

“You heard?” Dany rasped, her throat nearly closed with tears.

“Yes.” Ma Ling came forward and put her arms around Dany.

Giving Ma Ling a squeeze, Dany realized that her nanny needed her support. “I won't give up the plantation,” she told her thickly.

Patting her, Ma Ling stepped away, her dark eyes filled with compassion. “No one should be in this position.”

With a small, explosive laugh, Dany looked around. “I hurt him terribly, Ma Ling. I didn't mean to. I was just—” Her voice died in her throat. “I'm just so tired of fighting all these battles alone. When Gib told me, I lost control.” She pressed her hand to her brow. She needed to be alone, to think and feel her way through all of this.

“I'll be in my room for a while,” she whispered as she walked past Ma Ling.

Once in her room, Dany collapsed on her large, canopied bed. The delicate mosquito netting was pulled aside, looking more like curtain than protection. Dany released a shaky sigh. She had no defense against this final, shattering decision thrust upon her by the military. She looked down at her bare, dirty feet, and thought idly that she needed a shower. Maybe it would help put things in perspective. Pain tugged at her heart as she remembered how she'd lashed out at Gib, using him as a whipping post for the wrongs brought to bear against her and the land she loved.

Stepping out of the shower later, Dany patted herself dry with a thick pink cotton towel. After dressing in a fresh
ao dai
—the body hugging silk pants a deep apricot, the dress ivory—Dany felt a little better. But not much. Her battered heart swung from sheer fear of losing her home to guilt at the terrible way she'd treated Gib.

She descended the stairs in the quiet house, and entered the room that held all the pictures of her parents. For long minutes, she studied each of the photos, as if her answer might be there. Suddenly chilly, Dany rubbed her hands over her arms. Her parents had never been there for her—ever, she realized with finality. Yet Gib had been there in so many ways—both small and important ways—since she'd met him. He'd saved her life, stopping her from approaching the blazing Renault that had held her dead mother. Then he'd offered emotional support after the funeral, despite the fact he was the investigating officer. When he'd learned that his uniform could potentially destroy the plantation's neutrality, he'd come in civilian clothes.

Drawing in a painful breath, Dany stood thinking. It was Gib who had saved Vinh's life, too. He hadn't had to call in a military medevac to take Vinh to Da Nang. And most of all, there was the gentle and sensitive way he had dealt with Vinh after the injury. Closing her eyes, Dany realized how much of a fool she'd been. Gib's loyalty to her was unquestionable. How could she ever have felt betrayed by him? Gib hadn't betrayed her, the Marine Corps had.

Tears flooded her eyes. Her world was shredding apart, piece by piece. Every day she lost something else of value, something she loved. Hurting for herself, and because she'd wounded Gib with her misplaced anger and frustration, Dany knew she had to see him. The way he'd kissed her, the way they'd come together, couldn't be erased—couldn't be ignored.