Riptide Love ( (3 page)

“I don’t know. Look, I know you are…” Again, she moistened her lip. “I’m sorry. This really isn’t the place to discuss this.”

“No, it’s not.” He eyed a few of the passing nurses, sure the entire hospital staff would know his business. Before he had the chance to share it with his team, the men he worked with every day. And his family. “Come on. I’m parked outside.”

As they walked out, he kept his hands to himself. He liked touching women. Had a habit of caressing them when the opportunity arose. Now was clearly a bad time to touch her.

Instead, he stayed a step behind her. Not only had her breasts changed but he didn’t recall the flare in the hips. Her slim back, tapering to flared hips appealed to his baser need. Lust stirred his groin. Enjoying the sway of her heart-shaped arse, his prick filled up the front of his pants.

Oh, bugger me.
The lust she’d inspired in him hadn’t lessened.

Now this was insane. Desiring a woman he hadn’t seen in years. Lusting after a woman who’d had his child… Just what had she looked like with her stomach swollen as she’d carried his baby? The skin along her belly had been so sensitive to his touch, to his tongue… His balls tightened on another surge of desire.

Clearly, he needed to root in the worst way. It’d been too damn long since he’d had a good fuck. Too damn long. Otherwise, he’d turned into a bloody fruit loop.

Jitters caused Denae to jerk when Ethan shut her door. It was impossible to take her gaze from him while he proceeded around the front of the truck and climbed in the driver’s side.

God, I don’t know what to say. What to do now.

The man not only wanted to be a father to Nate but was projecting himself into their lives. Not that she deserved a say after what she’d done. No, she was Nate’s mother and a grownup. No matter what she’d done in the past she had a say now.

She wanted this. His involvement. Had, in fact, spent many nights praying for it. What a change to her life. What a change Nate was going to go through.

Still her stomach churned. It had been comparable to a frothing ocean since waking to find him still there. “
Go back to sleep,
” he’d encouraged her. “
We’ll figure things out in the morning.
”

The figuring things out had her in knots.

What exactly had he meant by that? Berating herself, she outlined details up to that point in her head.

She’d gotten engaged to a man she’d wronged.

Had an affair with the most unsuitable man in the world, who’d turned out to be her fiancé’s brother.

She’d gotten pregnant by the same unsuitable man.

Had been ostracized by parents she’d never been close to.

Given birth to the most fantastic son in the world.

She’d managed to get a job she liked, thanks to Jack.

Thanks to both Jack and Paige, she had great sitters when she needed them.

She’d done her best to make sure Nate grew up happy.

And now… Now she’d been saved by her baby’s father. God worked in mysterious ways, that was for sure.

“You all right, luv?”

She blinked, focusing on the here and now, instead of a past she couldn’t go back and change. And thanks to her son, she didn’t want to.

Ethan turned in his seat to face her.

“Sure.”

“You’ve paled since climbing in my rig.” He regarded her for a long moment. “I swear…” The smallest of smiles curled his lips. “I’m safe to be around. Besides, if I remember right, on the night we met, we had alone time.”

Moaning under her breath, she covered her eyes. God, she’d been so foolish back then. Little of it could be blamed on her youth or naivety.

“I’m not out to cause either you or Nathan trouble.”

“I know.” Denae nodded her head. She did know he meant them no harm. He just wanted to do what was right. Only she wasn’t sure how that would affect the life she’d carefully crafted for herself. She’d adjust, but the unknown gave her great apprehension. How would he fit into their lives? Instead of talking about that, she said, “I’m just hungry.”

“Well then, we’ll pick up some breakfast after we collect Nathan.”

“Sounds good.”

He turned the truck over and got them out on the road.

“What are you doing now? Where are you working?” Ethan flashed a glance before concentrating on the road.

“I’m a chef.”

“I remember you mentioned you worked in the kitchen on your parents’ station.”

“Yes.” Her parents weren’t a topic she was up to. “So…” Though she didn’t want to get into another argument she had to know. “So, Miller didn’t mention me either then? I mean last night you asked why I hadn’t put two and two together.” She swallowed. “What about you?”

His knuckles tightened on the steering wheel.

“No, I didn’t think so.” She sighed. “Anyway, I like my job. I work mornings on the shore.”

“At a resort?”

“Yeah. Cairns International. Jack helped me get the position.”

“He seems like a right fine mate.”

She smiled. She couldn’t stop it. Jack was the very best. A good friend when she’d needed him.

“De?”

“Hm?”

“Listen, my brother never mentioned you to me… M’s bloody tight-lipped about most things.” He wiped a palm on his thigh before clasping the steering wheel again. “Mum was the one who told me he was engaged.”

“Ah, yeah, I can see that.” No pain crushed her at the thought of Miller not mentioning her. It’d been as if the man had known they weren’t right for one another. God, there was no more kidding herself. He’d hinted as much. She just couldn’t figure out what had stopped him from breaking off the engagement before he’d encouraged her to go away on the getaway.

“Mum had been overjoyed when Big M…”

“Your mum?” Denae cut him off from entertaining the possibility. “Your mum, she was…” She bit her lip, hardly wanting to call Maree pushy. But the woman had been.

“Mum was what?” Blue eyes met hers for a heartbeat.

“Oh, nothing.” She folded her hands in her lap. “I enjoyed her company, that’s all.”

“Luv, do you remember what I do for a living?”

“Of course, I do.” Rarely did a day go by that she hadn’t wondered if some predator hadn’t gotten him. The ocean was a dangerous place. Especially the one off their coasts.

“Even in the water, I can read people.”

“Oh, well.” She regarded his side profile. The man really was handsome. Perfect by today’s standards. Honestly, he was perfect by any day’s standards. “I did enjoy your mum’s company.” Maree had met her a dozen times for lunch. In actuality she’d spent more time with Maree than Miller.

She and Miller hadn't had a conventional relationship. Yes, though she'd wished for a good relationship with Miller, it'd been doomed since the beginning. It hadn't taken her long to figure out Maree had been the happiest with the engagement.

Too bad the woman hadn’t carried pictures around of her sons as adults. Too bad the woman had spent most of the time talking about Miller. Too bad Denae had been so hungry for someone’s companionship.

God, she’d been so lonely in the outback. She had hated station life. Had hated the utter emptiness. Yes, she’d wanted the trip to Sydney so badly.

“My mum what?”

She sighed; he was like a dog after a bone. It would’ve been too easy for him to just let it go. “I believe, looking back, your mum wanted me and Miller to get together more than either of us did.”

He grunted.

“I could be wrong, but that’s what I believe.” Sweat beaded her palms, and she clasped them as if in prayer. “I think Miller will be okay… I mean once he finds out Nate’s yours…I think he’ll be able to get over that.” That’s what she wished for anyway. For Miller to forgive them. She didn’t want anyone else to disown Nate the way her parents had. Maybe it was more of a fantasy than wishful thinking. But Miller had been accepting of a lot when she’d known him.

“You might be right about Mum. She was always out to set us up.” A tic beat to life in his chiseled cheek. “But M? He’s not going to be okay with this…” He waved his fingers between them. “With us. Don’t get me wrong, my brother…he was always the one to take care of those in need. But wrong him, he’d hold a grudge.”

Again another notion hit her smack dab in her chest. Miller had thought she was needy. A time or two she’d seen it, pity in his gaze when she’d talked about her parents and her life on the station. Denae forced back a moan. God, the man must have felt sorry for her. Probably hadn’t wanted to hurt her feelings.

“He took care of Mum. Me and Co. He was always the first to rescue an animal and then turn around to bitch about its upkeep. So, he’ll eventually warm up to Nathan too.” He didn’t turn her way. “But me? My brother’s not going to just forgive and forget.”

She sucked in a breath. “No. Miller’s a really nice man—he’ll come around.” Again she inhaled in an attempt at calmness. He had to come around. She didn’t want to come between the two brothers.

Ethan shook his head.

“He is a nice bloke. The first time we met my car was broken down and he stopped to help me.” A clog formed in her throat. What an utterly horrid day that’d turned out to be. Her parents had…

No.
Dwelling on the past was over. Only the here and now mattered.

“Many would stop to help a stranded sheila. But my brother…” He swallowed hard. “My brother can hold a grudge like nobody can.”

She whimpered. Miller had to come around. It’d be impossible to cope with coming between the two brothers.

Chapter Three

Underneath the table, Ethan wiped his palms on his pants.

He sat at De’s small kitchen table across from Nathan. The boy hadn’t stopped staring since they’d arrived inside the unit, while De hadn’t bothered to sit down yet. It was clear he wasn’t the only one who was nervous.

What had De said to Nathan to get him to look at him this way? De had asked to collect their son by herself. She’d wanted a minute alone with the boy. And knowing women, probably a moment alone with Paige. So he’d waited out in the truck until he’d been summoned.

Hell, he’d half assumed she’d taken Nathan and skipped out the back, but when she’d come out the front door carrying the boy…

Well, his world would never be the same.

She hadn’t run from him.

And now sitting at the table across from his son, he hadn’t been this unsure of himself since the early days of his naval service when he’d been training as a swimmer.

De placed a little cup in front of the boy and ruffled his hair. “Don’t stare.” Still the ankle biter didn’t blink. “Sorry, he’s not use to company.”

He nodded, studying the two.

What a contrast De was to Nate. Dark brown hair to his blond. Green cat-like eyes to his round blue ones. De had a full mouth with pouty lips compared to Nathan’s slash of lips. And her nose had the slightest, cute-as-hell tilt to the end. Nathan’s didn’t. As far as he saw, the boy hadn’t gotten a single feature from his mother. The little mate was a Thorn through and through.

Christ.
He released an almost agonizing breath.
A son.
What an incredible legacy. He hadn’t felt this stoked since his first rescue.

His heartbeat accelerated to pound in his ears.

Nathan was an even greater responsibility. Yeah, he hadn’t forgotten his responsibility. The obligation to care for Nathan boggled his bloody mind. Just what was expected of him? His old man hadn’t been much of an example to follow with his ready fists. All that came to the forefront of his childhood memory was back-breaking work on the station. And Miller. His older brother had always found a way for him to have time to goof off. Of course that usually meant Miller did extra chores…

How had De coped all this time on her own with an ankle biter?

“Do you still like milk?” De got his attention.

The woman remembered he liked milk. Somehow something so simple unsettled him all the more. No, it was the fact he recalled she didn’t like the drink at all that got to him most. “Sure.” He gave a slight nod of his head. “Thanks.”

Helpless, he watched the sway of her hips as she moved around the kitchen again.
Bugger me.
She had the finest arse ever. Arousal stirred hot in his blood. And her legs were just as fine. Long and sleek. Beautiful.

His prick went rigid. Christ, she’d kept them wrapped around his hips… She’d been so hot for him. Would she be as hot in bed now?

“Here you go.” After passing him a tall glass filled to the brim, she finally took a seat. “Eat up, tiger. The sooner you finish, the sooner I can give you a bath.” She reached over and brushed Nathan’s hair behind his ear. “Maybe we can watch some SpongeBob afterwards.”

“Yeah, Mummy.” Nathan’s grin faded when he looked at Ethan again.

“Remember I told you Ethan’s a friend of mine.” She tore Nathan’s breakfast sandwich in half.

The boy turned his eyes back to his mother. “I ’member.”

“He’s an emergency rescue officer. That’s neat, huh?” Again, she brushed his hair back, only to have it fall forward once more.

Nathan’s eyes brightened. “You got a gun?”

De groaned. “Jack is such a bad influence.”

“Eh, I do. Several.” It took work to hide the smile. “But they’re not part of my uniform.” While growing up on a station in the bush, learning to fire a gun had been mandatory.

“Oh.” Nathan seemed a little deflated.

“I spend most of my time in a boat or chopper. I’m a rescue swimmer.”

“I like boats.” Another smile spread across the young face. “I like choppers.”

Ethan grinned and regarded De. “If you think Jack’s a bad influence just wait until the Thorns spend time with Nathan.”

Captivating green eyes went wide.

He picked up on her trepidation. He supposed he should’ve handled the conversation another way. But Nathan was his and he had a lot to catch up on. His family needed to meet the boy.

So he winked. “They’ll ruin him for life.”

“Nate, eat your breakfast for me, okay?” Urgency had entered her voice. A tone he didn’t quite understand. Unless… What if she didn’t care for his family? After being a pig’s arse to her and Ace’s rudeness on the phone he could understand how she might lump them together. But hopefully soon she’d learn his family was the best.

Scrutinizing her, he took in the tension in her shoulders. Her fingers were jerky as she tore a bite from her own sandwich.

Nate took a bite that looked too big for his mouth. De, on the other hand, toyed with her food. Such graceful hands. How those long fingers had teasingly played over his body. Wantonly gripped his prick… He shifted on a rush of lust.

Focus, mate.

“I was joshin’.” His jaw clenched, he hated not being able to read her clearly. In their short time together in the past, he’d discovered she was shy and enthusiastic. He shook it off. It’d been a while since they’d been together. Maybe he hadn’t known her as well as he’d thought. All he knew for sure was they’d sparked one another to an undeniable blaze.

Sitting here, at least for him, the spark still existed. This intrigued him.

De moistened her lips and dropped the bread she’d been fooling with.

“My brothers are the best mates. My cousins too. Rowdy as hell, but bloody fine mates.”

Nathan sat up straight. “You cussed.”

“Eh.” He took in De’s tight lips. Obviously, he had a lot to learn. Even more to remember. No cursing. This rule would be tough to follow. “Sorry about that, little mate.”

She nodded. “Will you be inviting them here then?” Absently, she brushed Nathan’s hair back after he took another big bite.

Muscles along his back tensed as frustration grew. Bring his family here? “Listen, De, I’m going to go home for a visit.” He had to. Christ. He had to talk to Miller in person. And his mum. Yeah, telling them about Nathan wasn’t something he’d do over the phone.

“I see.” She got up and threw her food away. “Tiger, finish up so we can get you your bath.”

“Do you?” He abandoned his own meal to join her at the sink. “Listen, De. I’m going home, and I want to take Nathan with me.” He back peddled. That’d come out wrong. “I meant…”

“Mummy?”

Green eyes blazed when she turned her gaze on Ethan. “You’re not…”

“Will you wait a sec?” Sweat beaded on his palms. “Listen, I want you to come too.” She had to travel with him. He’d not have a clue how to care for the boy alone. Though his family would step in if he screwed something up.

“Oh…”

“I want us to introduce Nathan to my family. It’s time.” He invaded her personal space. “Long past time the Thorns met him. You’ve got to know that.”

Long lashes lowered as she glanced down before moving slightly away from his body.

Ethan turned away to grasp the counter in both hands.

Nathan no longer ate but stared.

De brushed by him to move to the table. “You all done, tiger?” At his nod, she picked him up.

“Is SpongeBob on?”

“Not yet, I want to get you cleaned up first.” She cradled Nathan close. “We’ll talk in a few minutes.”

“Sure, listen.” He moved in their direction. “I thought, if you don’t mind, we could hang out at the beach?”

Nathan’s head came up with a big smile in place. “I like the beach.”

“I’ve got the day off.” He focused on his son. “Would you like that, Nate?” For the first time he used the nickname De had given him.

“Mummy.” Nate caressed her cheek to get her attention. “I like the beach.”

“All right.” She agreed, not looking the least bit happy about doing so.

He sighed. Dammit. He supposed he needed to discuss things with her first. “I’ve got to get cleaned up myself. How about I pick you up in two hours?”

“I guess we’ll be ready then, won’t we, tiger?” She kissed the boy on the forehead.

Their son still grinned.

“Hooroo, Nate.” A tightness settled in his chest. Damn if he didn’t want to stay. What if she took off? Sure, he’d be able to track her down, he had the resources, but still. He didn’t like the idea of leaving them so soon.

“G’day.” Nate waved.

Ethan grinned. “De…”

“You’re welcome to finish your breakfast. I’ve got to get Nate cleaned up to face the day.”

Nate’s arms clung to De’s neck. “I don’t like baths, Mummy.”

Lashes lowered, she turned away.

Left alone, he didn’t have an appetite so he tossed his meal. And made sure the door locked behind him when he left.

At his truck, he turned back to the flat. The constriction in his chest intensified. He hated the thought of leaving Nate so soon after their first long meeting. Hated it. He glanced into the back seat of his truck to the booster seat De had put Nate in.

The sight eased the discomfort somewhat. But not enough. He’d hurry back. He had to. There were three-plus years to make up for.

Denae was spazzing out.

Worse, she shouldn’t be this upset. A trip to the beach was no big deal. Only it was. An outing she and Nate had made dozens of times had already knotted her stomach. She shook her hands out to her side, trying to get rid of the jitters.

This is crazy.

She needed to calm down.

Ethan Thorn had invited them out for the afternoon.

No big deal.

Wasn’t like he’d invited them for forever.

Still, her pulse didn’t slow. The churning in her stomach threatened to send her rushing to the bathroom. Taking Nate to the beach was far different than hanging out with a man. A man who was quite literally perfect. Closing her eyes, she pictured him standing there. Steady blue eyes, quick to lighten in amusement. So tall with shoulders made for clinging. His blond head always held so proudly. So confident in himself.

Liquid heat simmered in her core. Arousal sent her blood surging. It heated her skin. Swelled in her breasts.

Oh yes, Ethan was all male.

Only, she shouldn’t think about that.

He was Nate’s father. That was the only thing she should remember. Whatever they’d shared was over and done. Had been for a long time.

Other than Jack, she hadn’t spent any time with another male besides Nate since… Well, since Ethan had told her to get lost.

God, how he must hate her with his every breath. He was only out to do what was right by Nate. And that was what was important. Making things right for her baby.

Their son.

The doorbell rang causing her to jerk. “Nate, I’m coming!” she called out, not wanting her baby to head for the door.

Even though it was most likely Paige. She’d called her friend for support as soon as Ethan had left. Paige was supposed to meet them at the beach in another hour but knowing the woman, Paige probably wanted to prep her.

Although Denae had explained everything in detail, Paige was no fan of Ethan’s.

As she passed by, she saw that Nate hadn’t moved from his spot in front of the telly. God, he loved SpongeBob, while she thought the show the silliest thing ever.

She pulled the front door open to find Ethan already there. “You’re early,” she accused, then wished she could pull back the words.

“I am.” He smiled.

A quiver raced along her spine. Even now, she remembered how easily he smiled. And the sweet things that smile did to her.

Amazingly, the man had gotten better looking in the last few years. Downright dreamy to look at. Not her though. She’d gotten ugly in their time apart. And she had the stretch marks on her lower stomach and hips to prove it.

What they said about men aging well was true. Ethan Thorn was picture proof of that.

“You gonna invite me in, luv?”

She stiffened. But forced herself to relax. It was just his way. She needed to get used to it. Needed to get through this day for Nate.

It was clear—at least for the moment—Ethan wanted to be part of Nate’s life. For her son, she’d deal with the silly names he used out of habit. Her son needed to know his father. For him, she could do this.

“Nate’s in front of the telly.” She waved him in. “I still need to change.”

“He watching SpongeBob?”

“Yeah, he loves the silly show.”

“I’ve watched it a few times in the rec room down at the station.”

Picturing some of Aussie’s finest watching the show, she shook her head. Blokes, with their video games and cartoons.

Instead of going into the living room where Nate sat, he followed her to the hallway. “Did you think about the trip? Are you up for it?”

“I don’t think I have a choice.” She didn’t. Not when it came right down to it. She owed Nate this time with his family. He needed to get to know them. To make up for the lost time he’d not had with them.

“Not really.” He turned to his side as if not to dominate her. “Listen, I don’t want to come across as a pig’s arse but I want my family to meet Nate. And I don’t want to wait to do it.”

“I know.” She did understand. “I know your family needs to get to know him.” She bit her lip and closed her eyes. God, she didn’t want to have to go back home and face everyone.
I’m such a coward.
Please give me strength to get through this trip.

Opening her eyes, she met his steady gaze. “I know. I’m fine with it. I’ll go. Nate will be thrilled at being on a plane.” Most importantly, Nate deserved to meet his grandmother. Maree would love him.

Pressure built under her breasts as her shoulders slumped. It was as if a weight landed on them. The guilt returned in full force. God, she’d thought she’d die from the feeling in the past. Didn’t want to cope with more of the emotion now.

She’d wronged a great many people by some foolish decisions.

Sorry just didn’t seem enough.

“You all right, luv?”

“Yeah, but you should know I’m not welcome at my parents’.” She compressed her mouth so she wouldn’t say more. Spill every detail of her past. It wasn’t just that she wasn’t welcome. She had no desire to have her baby around her parents. After months of being on her own, along with the guidance of Paige’s minister, she’d finally realized that she’d grown up in a very unhealthy environment. One she didn’t want her son to be any part of.