Rise of the Phoenix (Return To Avalore #2) (30 page)

A tight vise squeezed around her heart as she gazed upon his sleeping face. Would he ever be able to forgive her for leaving him again? When she’d decided she had to return to her pack, she hadn’t counted on falling so hard, or so fast. She certainly hadn’t counted on joining with Evan, but now that she had, she didn’t regret it. When she crossed to the next world, their link would be strong. She’d find him and erase the pain she was about to inflict upon him. No matter what it took, she’d make it up to him.

She didn’t want to sneak away at the break of dawn, cheapening their time together, but his words burned in her brain,
“Wherever you go, I will follow.”

Her fear of going into the water was nothing compared to the pain of leaving him again. She had to go before she did something crazy like wake him and make love to him until she forgot all reason and stayed in his arms forever.

Standing at the edge of the basin, she could see the spot he’d brought her through as clear as day with the sun shining on the other side, the opening beneath the water easy to see. As much as she hated to do it, she could make her way below the surface and get back out on the other side. She had to.

Glancing over her shoulder, she took one last look at him and froze when he shifted onto his side. When he continued to doze, she stepped into the water. He’d wake soon and she needed to be far from this place before he did. Her vision blurred, and for a moment, she seriously considered turning back, but she couldn’t. She’d never forgive herself for giving up on her pack. She submerged herself slowly, careful not to make a sound, diving for the opening only once she knew her feet wouldn’t make a splash.

From the shore, the underwater tunnel had seemed only a few feet away, but the harder she swam for it, the further it seemed. Her heart pounded, and her lungs burned for air. Dark shadows narrowed her field of vision. She struggled not to give up and rush back to the surface. If she didn’t make it out this time, she’d never be able to do it again.

Kicking with all her might, she dove deeper and deeper until her fingers finally found purchase on the edge of the opening. Using her arms, she catapulted her body through to the other side. Her legs shook with the effort to keep her momentum going, but she wouldn’t give up, kicking hard the moment she emerged from the short tunnel. Gasping and spluttering, she broke the water’s surface.

Droplets of water glistened on her skin as the early morning sun streaked across the sky. Songbirds chirped, flitting from tree to tree as though everything was right in the world, but it wasn’t, not for her anyway. She’d hurt Evan when she’d left the first time; this time, she’d crush him.

Gathering what little will she had left, Brienne pulled herself from the water and gathered her clothes. The longer she stayed, the harder it would be to leave. She shimmied her jeans over damp legs, struggling to get them over her hips. Her shirt clung to her breasts, darkening in spots as the moisture from her skin soaked into the soft material.

Everything in her demanded she turn around and go back. Her dragon grumbled and growled, annoyed at the early morning dip taking her away from her mate. Wrapping her arms around her middle, Brienne took one last look at the water behind her, gasping when Evan broke the surface.

A deep red flush stained his neck, and the flames burning in Evan’s eyes made her heart pound, but nothing compared to the hurt she’d caught a glimpse of before he’d shuttered it off. She wanted to run and hide, not because she was afraid—Evan would never hurt her—, but because she didn’t want to face the pain she’d already inflicted.

Without speaking, he hoisted himself from the basin, his eyes never leaving hers. Tiny drops of water slithered down his chest and arms, but she kept her eyes locked onto his.

Jaw clenched, he strode past her and grabbed his own clothing. He didn’t utter a single word, not a sound, until he was fully clothed, and even then, he took a few moments before facing her again.

The last thing in the world she ever wanted to do was cause him pain, yet that’s exactly what she’d done, and done so willingly. “Evan, I have to go back. Please, try to understand.”

“I understand a whole lot more than you think I do. I’m not a fucking idiot.” He ran his fingers through his wet hair, his agitation making his movements jerky, then snorted. “Then again, maybe I am.” His fists clenched. “I understand that you were going to slink away at the crack of dawn without saying goodbye—again. That your sense of loyalty to your pack outweighs any kind of commitment to your mate, your
joined
mate.” He said the word as if it left a sour taste in his mouth.

Shaking her head, she wanted to reassure him, to tell him how much he meant to her, how all she’d done over the past few years was for him, for Avalore, but she couldn’t. Even if she did, he’d never believe her.

“I’d hoped after yesterday that you’d allow me to help you. The plans we made were good and might have worked if you just wanted to try, but you don’t, do you?” His gaze broke away, his voice dropping to a near whisper. “I know you intend to sacrifice yourself for
them.
” Doubling over as though he were in physical pain, Evan hung his head. “After what we shared, I thought
I
meant more to you.”

Silent tears dampened her cheeks as she watched the man she loved tear himself up over something neither had any control over. “Evan…”

He didn’t lift his eyes from the ground, didn’t look at her.

“If there was any other way, I’d do it, I promise I would.” Her throat constricted, and she barely got the words out.

His head snapped up, his eyes piercing, his phoenix close to the surface. “The other way is to let me help you. Fuck, Brienne, don’t you know by now that I’d move the stars above for you if I could. I’d lay down my life for yours, yet the only thing you’d have me do is allow you to die for a species who’ve caused me more pain than anyone should ever have to endure.”

Tiny blue flames raced up his arms, drying the droplets of water still stubbornly clinging to his skin.

“I’m sorry.” The words tore from her throat, from her soul. She’d known he’d be hurt, but his anguish was more than she could stand. His energy quivered and shook under the agony he released with each breath he took.

Shaking his head, he turned away. “I won’t let you do it. When you’re ready to talk strategy, we’ll figure it out—together.” With that, he shot up into the sky, away from her.

The strength it took to keep her upright drained from her body, and she crumpled to the ground. Uncontrollable sobs tore through her, and at that moment she just didn’t care. What she’d done to him was unforgivable. It didn’t matter how strong of a bond they’d forged. When she found him in the next life, he’d take one look at her and walk away.
That’s
what she’d done to him and all she deserved.

She didn’t know how long she sat there, her hands covering her face, before her tears finally ran dry. The dragon roared, her anguish bolstering the creature’s fury. So engrossed in her own pain, Brienne wasn’t even aware when someone approached.

“Brienne, are you okay?” Rhia’s soft, melodious voice reached her ears just as warm, soothing energy enveloped her.

Sniffing loudly, Brienne sat up straighter. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear your approach.”

“It’s okay. I like to sit by the waterfall in the early morning sometimes to clear my head, you know?” She smiled, concern marring the perfection of her elegant features. “Where’s Evan? When he didn’t return to the castle yesterday I assumed he was with you.”

Her heart clenched at the mention of his name. “He was. We’ve had a horrible fight and he’s gone.”

Rhia’s eyes widened. “Gone where?”

“I don’t know. He just left.” She waved her hand in the direction he’d disappeared.

“Brienne! Are you freaking kidding me? You guys eloped? How is that even possible here in Avalore?” Rhia grabbed her hand and stared at the mark gracing its back.

“I don’t even know what that means.” Brienne took a shaky breath.

Rhia turned and hugged her. “It means you guys got joined without me.” Pulling back, she looked at her again. “Listen, I know my brother is stubborn and, well, can be a pain, but whatever happened, he’ll come back. He’s not one to turn away from those he loves.”

The well-meant words tore at her soul. She’d done just that and Evan would never forgive her. A choked sob slipped past her lips.

“Hey, it’s okay. What did he do, anyway?”

Rhia’s energy enveloped her once more, soothing the raw edges of her soul. “He didn’t do anything. In fact, he was wonderful. It was me.” Brienne swiped at the tears still trickling down her cheeks. “I’ve accepted that I’m going to die so my pack can be freed of the curse—”

“Why on earth would you think that?”

“The scroll, you and Aleani both said there’d be a sacrifice.” Now, more than ever, she needed to break the curse. No matter what Rhia said, Evan would never forgive her. The only thing she could do is make their lands safer for everyone, and especially for the one trying to comfort her now.

Rhia bolted upright, her eyes wide. “I said a sacrifice would be required, but I didn’t say you’d die. Brienne, call Evan to you, now.”

Before she could question her, Rhia was turning in a slow circle, sending her energy seeking in the air around them. Brienne immediately did the same, trying to get a feel for what might be out there.

“Evan, Rhia wants me to call you to us.”
She didn’t think twice, reaching out to him.
“I can’t sense any danger near us, but she’s wary.”

“Rhiannon is with you?”
His immediate answer startled her.

“Yes, she—”

“Get her to the castle. We’re under attack.”
There was no masking the fury in his voice.

“What do you mean we’re under attack?”
Heart pounding, Brienne took a step closer to Rhia.

“We’ll eliminate the threat before it reaches the city. Get her to safety. Right now,
that
is your
only
priority.”
The bitter words snapped like a whip in her mind.

“Yes, sir
,” she snapped back.

“Rhia, we have to get you back to the castle. Evan says we’re under attack, but he won’t—”

“Where is he? We have to go there.” Rhia’s wide, lavender eyes swam in unshed tears.

Brienne’s heart raced. “I don’t know, he hasn’t said. Why?”

“We just do.” A frown furrowed her brow. “Damn it. Drake won’t tell me where they are.”

Brienne swallowed and tried to keep a leash on her imagination. There could be all kinds of reasons for Rhia to be reacting as she was. Just because she didn’t know what it was didn’t mean something terrible was going to happen.

“I think we need to do as Evan asks and get you back to the castle.” She cast her senses out trying to get a feel for the energy around them but came back empty. Whatever was going on, they weren’t a part of it. The sooner she could get Rhia to the castle, the sooner she could get out there and help.

Rhia blinked several times before turning her attention back to her. “Yes, of course. We need to get back to the castle.”

“Evan and Drake will let us know when the threat has passed.” Brienne lifted from the ground, waiting for Rhia to do the same before turning toward the palace. As soon as they were above the treeline, the castle came into view, allowing her to breathe just a little easier.

Within moments, the two Coalition members she’d seen in Evan’s suite came out to meet them, energy pulsing in great waves around them.

“Your highness, we must escort you inside.” There was no pretense in Sebastian’s voice, the byplay between the guards and their queen gone. The strong set of his jaw, his squared shoulders, it all screamed he would do what he had to do and if their queen got upset over it, he’d deal with that too.

Relief poured through her. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to stay and protect Rhia. She would and never regret doing so, but now that others could take over the responsibility, she could concentrate on what was going on outside the city boundaries.

“Rhiannon is with Michael and Sebastian and headed to the castle. Where are you? I can help.”
She sent the words to both Evan and Drake, knowing neither would have the total focus needed in battle until they knew she was safe.

“Your assistance is not required. Stay at the castle.”
Evan didn’t try to hide his anger, the curt words cutting deeper than she’d thought possible.

Brienne didn’t bother connecting with Evan again. There was no point. Sending her energy into the early morning light, she sought him. His energy drew her like a beacon calling her home. Hiding from one’s joined mate was next to impossible. By the time Rhia was safe inside the castle, she had solidified his direction and set off after him. He may not want her help, but he would get it anyway.

The sounds of battle reached her before she caught sight of the men and beasts down below. She didn’t dare get too close. Even cloaked as deeply as she was, she wasn’t foolish enough to get herself caught in the energy crossfire.

Circling the area, she took her time assessing the enemy. Somehow, she’d expected more. It didn’t make sense. Beasts poured out of the forest around the clearing, fighting for all they were worth, but their combat skills were lacking.