Rising Up: Finding Me book 1 (31 page)

I nod my head but the waterworks behind my eyes have started up again.  Lucas takes over talking.

"Ginny, do you know about Maddie's home life?  Did you know that she had been raped by one of her parent’s friends?”

Again I nod my head.  "It happened in her own home, her parents are chronic alcoholics and drug addicts and always had a house full of equally wasted losers.  So when it happened she was ignored and told to not make up lies, it took a lot away from her, and she became very introverted and withdrawn.” Shaking my head at the memory of Maddie’s behavior.  But she started spending all her free time with us even though our home was just as poisonous, she just settled in.”

"That's what I have found out as well, but when she started staying at yours a lot more she was craving a normal home life and I believe your parents always welcomed her.  The relationship with your father didn't start until you had nearly left school and had started planning going to college.  It looks like your father helped her with her studies and paid for most of her tuition fees."

"Whaaat! No way!  I always wondered how she afforded to be there. Her parents were always drunk or high or just too plain lazy to fill in the forms to get her the appropriate grants, they were quick enough to get every benefit they could, neither of them were ever sober enough to hold a job down. 

Well while my good old daddy was paying for her, I got the bare minimum and had to work in a bar to keep me in books and food.  Shit!  How can I not have known about this?"  I can feel the anger rising in me.  "Fuck!  That bitch, no wonder she was always hanging round."  I spin round to Theo.  "How did you work this out?  And why the fuck didn't you do anything about it before?"

"Heidi, I didn't know, I just thought they acted a bit too familiar around each other, but hell she virtually lived with us to keep away from her own house."  His face has gone red as his voice rises.

"For fuck's sake, Theo!  Stop calling me Heidi!  She died a long time ago just after she was drugged, raped and beaten by a man who was supposed to love me and his fucking friends, who are now trying to get out of it.  Well, all accept the sick piece of shit that started it all and he took the cowardly way out. 

“Jesus! What I would give to have five minutes alone with the rest of them and a big fucking stick.   So Theo where the fuck were you when all this was going on?  You were over here helping abuse victims, well shit!  I sure could have done with some of that sympathy and understanding don't you think. 

“Theo you left, and by running away you threw me to the sharks!  Did you ever think to call or check on me?  You must have some serious thick skin covering you to have ignored what you knew was going on and starting a new rose-tinted happy fucking life!"  God my temper is seriously out of control and my heart is pounding.  A scream is desperately trying to fight its way out of my body right now.

I collapse back down in to the chair and Lucas hands me a glass of water.  My hands are shaking so much I can hardly hold the glass.  I look at Theo and see that his hands are shaking and he has tears in his eyes.

My anger leaves me as quickly as it started and I look up at two of the people hell bent on helping me. "Shit, Theo and you Lucas, I'm sorry I didn't want to take this out on you but Mason is always so calm and concerned he doesn't let me scream and shout, and Christ did I need to get that out."  A very dry chuckle erupts from me before another painful sob breaks from me.

Lucas sits in front of me and grabs hold of my knees to stop them from shaking.  "Imogen you never need to apologize to me, and I'm sure Theo has thought all of those things about himself already.  We love you and we will always have your back, so you are always welcome to come over here for a good scream and shout, okay?"  I look at him and at my brother and give a small nod.

"Okay so back to the issue with Maddie.  Everything I have discovered about her is innocent, yes she had an affair with your father but that was more a cry for help from a person she considered a father figure.  Your father just took advantage of a vulnerable young girl.  Her only crimes against you are her never telling you about your dad and being stupid enough to open the door to Williams. 

She is not and never has been involved with Williams or your parents’ crimes."  Lucas sits back on his heels and gives me a small smile.  "You need to talk to her about this before Lake or Mason start accusing her of any involvement in this case."

"I know and I will.  I need to get hold of her soon before Lake starts to investigate her.  He also wants you to check out any ex-employees of Jake's that may have been quickly fired.  I will have to think about it too, because something in the back of my mind is niggling away.  I will remember it if you can give me a day or two."

Just then there's a knock on the door and Lucas jumps up to answer it.  I can hear Mason talking and I give Theo a panicked look.

"Don't worry, Lucas will get rid of him.  Why don't you give Maddie a call and arrange to meet?  You and she need to clear the air.  And Imogen, I'm so sorry I didn't protect you and I don't know how to even begin to apologize properly to you or how to make it up to you."

"It's okay Theo, just stick around for a while and let us catch up and start again.  I'm sorry I shouted so much but shit it felt good."

"I think you are amazing, you should come to one of our group therapy sessions, the girls there would love to hear about your survival and how you started to live again."

"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet.  I'm still in the process of finding me, or discovering the Imogen who emerged out of the ruined broken body of Heidi.  I haven't mourned the loss of her properly yet I think that will take some time.  But for now the new me, the Imogen that I'm becoming, is loved by a man I feel lucky to have found, and who I think is worthy of my love too.  So I think I'll leave your therapy alone for now."

"That's a real shame, because the words you have just spoken are probably the strongest I have ever heard an abuse survivor use. I have nothing but love and admiration for you Imogen, my sister.  I love you."  Theo has tears in his eyes and coughs away his emotion as Lucas walks back in.

"I think you'd better get home Ginny love, because he is gonna freak when you are not resting at home.  Look I'm going to speak to Maddie and tell her what we have found out, and that you both need to speak about it before Lake acting as your attorney asks her for an interview.  I will try and set it up for tomorrow morning if that's okay with you?" He kisses my cheek and hugs me.  "It WILL all be okay Imogen I promise you."

Theo walks me down the hall.  "Do you want to come in?  You are welcome to stay the night, we have a spare room, admittedly full of my clothes but the bed is clean and comfortable."

"Thanks, but I've booked in to a hotel and I want to call Lucy, and I can speak to Charlie before he goes to bed.  She is very excited to meet you so we must get together soon.  I would like all of this to be over first, I don't want you to meet your sister-in-law for the first time with all of this hanging over our heads, I'm sure you understand."

"That's fine Theo, I totally understand, I don't want my relationship with her being uncomfortable because of all the drama going on, I would also appreciate your discretion on my private life."

"Of course I would never divulge any secrets Imogen, in my profession I understand the need for privacy..."  He starts to say something else but the door behind me bursts open and Mason is stood there on his phone.

"No, no it's okay Mom she's here.  Sorry to bother you. Yeah I love you too. Bye"

He looks at me and I shrink back expecting him to be angry but he just looks relieved and pulls me towards him.  "Ginny I've been worried I expected you to be sleeping, where've you been babe?"  He looks up at Theo.  "You should have let her rest Theo, you are a father you should know how important it is for a woman to rest during pregnancy.  Ginny has been through a tough day and should have slept, please help me to help her."

"Mason, I'm sorry but something important came up and we needed to act on it immediately.  I don't think Imogen is able to tell you about it at the moment but I think by tomorrow evening it should be sorted.  I would also like to say that you really need to let Imogen be the person in control of her pregnancy and maybe needs you to step back and let her make some decisions. 

I know you don't think I have the right to voice my opinion but I think you should ask her more often than you should tell her.  I hope I haven't upset you Imogen but you are not made of glass and you are an intelligent woman capable of knowing if and when you should sleep. 

I'll see you tomorrow, call me when you know the details.  I love you and I am on your side and that goes for you too Mason.  Bye Ginny."  He smiles briefly and walks towards the elevator.

"Come on Mason, let's go inside.  You're right I should have rested but I found out something today that seemed more important than sleep.  Don't let Theo get to you, he is carrying over a decade of guilt and may find it easier to sound off at you than at me."  I reach up and stroke his cheek and feel him relax in to my hand.

"Am I taking over?  Am I wrong for having your best interests at heart?  Please tell me to shut up and back off if I am."  His beautiful face creases with worry.

"Sweetie, trust me, you know me well enough by now that I will most definitely tell you to lay off with the nagging if it gets too much.  I love how concerned you are about me, it's new, I've never had anybody love and care for me as much as you do, so please don't change."

"Well that's good because you look about to pass out from hunger so let's get fed and tucked up in bed nice and early tonight."  He pauses and looks at me seriously.  "I'm not going to pry but Ginny it bothers me that you have something going on that you won't share with me.  Please don't make me wait too long for your explanation or I will start imagining the worst."

An hour later I receive a message from Lucas saying I'm to meet Maddie tomorrow morning before work starts.  A mixed feeling washes over me, but there is nothing more to be done tonight so pushing it all out of my mind the evening I settle down with Mason.

Imogen

I arrive early at work and Mason gives me a strange look when I give him a quick kiss and walk in the opposite direction away from my office.  The trip up to Lucas' offices is far too quick for my liking, I really just want the world to stop spinning and let me get off for a while.

Maddie is sat in her office when I get there and Lucas gives me a quick nod and walks out.  Her face is white and pinched with worry, it's obvious that Luc hasn't said anything to her yet.  So I just decide to get straight to the point.

"Maddie, I found something out about you yesterday and it was when we were just leaving school, I just want you to tell me if it’s true?"  Not letting her get too much from my question I watch every thought and scenario run through her head as she works out what I mean, and I see the light bulb moment when she realizes what I mean.

"Oh God, shit Ginny, how did you find out?"  Her voice is quiet and she stutters over the words, her face is pale and her shoulders start to shake.

"Theo always had an inkling but Lucas confirmed it, but shit Maddie why?  Why my father for God's sake?   Your father allowed that horrendous thing to happen to you and you enter into another forbidden relationship with a man the same age as your dad, what the hell was going on in your head?"

"I don't know.  He was kind to me, he never forced me or made me do things I hated.  He was just sweet and kind everything I should have had from a father, he would listen to me, and he made me feel I was worth more than I believed I was.  The sex was just something that happened one night.  You were out at some sort of dance rehearsal of your mothers and Theo was out, and it just happened. 

I can't explain it any more than that it didn't feel dirty or sordid like anything that had happened to me before, it was sweet and gentle.  After that he helped me out, he made sure I worked hard enough to get to University with you."

I hold my hand up to stop her.  "Maddie he paid for you to go!  I had to get a job to pay my way.  I never understood how you didn't need to, I just thought you'd got every grant you could.  I never in a million years would have realized that you fucked my father to get on in life, Shit Maddie how could you sell yourself that way?"  My anger erupts from me again.

"I never thought about it like that, it was a way to get away from my awful life.  I was selfish and didn't care how I got away I just took the first escape I could.  I never thought anyone would find out, and I promise you Ginny, I never knew what your parents were up to and I have had nothing to do with Jake Williams, my only time was opening that bloody door Imogen, please believe me. 

I'm sorry you didn't have the support from your dad, I truly believed he was paying for you too,  I thought you wanted to work, you were top of all of your classes and out-shined me in every way, but I was stupid and naive and I'm sorry.  But do I wish I hadn't done it?  I'm not sure, I seemed to just roll with the punches.  I never carried on with the relationship once I was at Uni, and he never asked me to."

"Why were you so eager to change your life again and come with me here?  I am forever grateful that you did, and you have helped my through some of my darkest times.  I don't think I would have survived without you Maddie, so I can't be too angry or upset with you about this, it was years ago and I was thinking all last night about this and I came to the conclusion that you were very lucky to have had his affection, because I never did, and because of that you were saved from their evil sex trading.

I was never important enough to them.  I was never praised or encouraged so I was an easy target for them.  I think they purposefully made me self-conscious and introverted because it made me easy to manipulate.  Your dreadful abuse made you a stronger person and therefore less able to be manipulated by them."

"I think I wanted to make it up to you, and I knew how desperately you needed to escape him, I just wanted to help, you are so important to me Imogen on so many levels, right from the gangly long-legged Heidi when we first met a school to the amazing woman you are now.  I wanted to be like you so much and when I got the chance from your dad I grabbed it with both hands, was it wrong? Yes, I think it was but do I regret it? No, I don't, it gave me so much opportunity and I wouldn't still be your friend if I hadn't."

"You are important to me too, much more than my parents, and I will happily wash my hands of them but my life without you in it would be hard and empty.  I don't know if you are after my understanding and forgiveness but I am being completely honest with you, I don't need to forgive you for anything, and I am the one who will be thankful for you changing your life for me, I know I wouldn't be who I am without you by my side. 

We have both been through so much and I think, sweet girl, we can be proud of ourselves because we bloody survived!"  The tears are flowing fast for both of us and as we stand holding on tight to each other both embracing the strength of love that flows between us.

"Thank you Ginny, for everything.  Promise me you won't ever give up on getting what you want, but I think to be honest with that amazingly hot-as-shit boyfriend and that little bean growing inside you you've got pretty much what you ever wished for."

Lucas interrupts us.  "Hey girls, I'm sorry to get in your way but I'm gonna have to have my office back."

We look at each other and laugh.  "Yeah sorry Luc, we'll get out of your way."  I start to move away from Maddie and we both walk away.

Mason

Although my diary is heaving and my work load is piling up I can't seem to concentrate, where is Imogen and what the fuck is going on?

"Fuck this shit!"  I get up and walk down to see Lake.  "Hey Lake, you gotta minute?" 

"Sure, what's up?  Is everything okay with Ginny, I haven't seen her this morning?"

"I don't know where she is, she hasn't been at her desk all morning and she's not answering her calls.  Last night she wasn't home and was with her brother, who by the way, royally pissed me off, something had happened that she won't share with me.  Have you got Luc to find anything about Maddie yet?"

"He won't do it.  He said all the checks he'd done on it before didn't flash anything up so he won't look again, he is looking into a previous employee though that left very suddenly after Imogen started and I'm hoping to have some news on that later today."  Just then he looks over my shoulder.  "There's Imogen now, she's just walked past and it looks like she's on her cell."

"Okay, good.  Let me know if Lucas gets anywhere and also I know this is going to be tough for you but we need to get Maddie in and get to the bottom of her involvement in this.  I'm sure she knows something."

"I know, but shit Mase this is my girlfriend, what am I supposed to say.  I mean ' Hey Mads, thanks for the great sex. Oh and by the way what secrets are you hiding?  You know something and you're not telling.'  I don't think that's going to go down to well do you?"

"Well maybe not if you say it like that, but you're Ginny's attorney and if she does know something you have to find out what it is.  Look I'm going to see Ginny, keep me informed please Lake." I raise my hand in a wave as I walk out and back down the corridor.  I can see Ginny and she is still on her phone and I know I shouldn't be listening but I can't stop myself.

"It's all okay Theo, yes I asked that and I know that it's the truth.  I know but I'm not turning my back now.  Fine, okay.  Look I'm back at my desk and have got to get some work done before my arse gets fired.  I'll call you later. Bye."

She puts her phone on her desk and puts her head in her hands.  I walk up to her and run my hand down her back, her head whips round and smiles when she sees me which I'm very happy about.  My hand cups her face and she moves her head to kiss my palm.  "Hey babe, are you okay, you've not been at your desk much this morning."

"Yeah I'm good, I had an appointment this morning and it took up more time than I expected.  Shall we have lunch together today?"

"Yeah that would be good but it will have to be a late one I'm swamped, I'll come to you."  Leaning down I kiss her soft mouth and run my hand over her stomach and receive a little kick in return making me chuckle.  "It's good to get a response from little Cookie too"

"He likes you touching him, you always get a reaction from him."  Ginny's smile is so happy that I stop worrying about her earlier meeting.

"That's good to know babe.  See you in a couple of hours."  I head back to my work and immerse myself in the trials and tribulations of other peoples’ problems.

"Sweetie, I know you said you'd come to me but its two thirty and I'm about to pass out from hunger, if you're too busy I'll just go and grab us a couple of sandwiches from the deli?" 

I look up and can't believe I forgot about lunch.  "Shit babe I'm sorry, look give me five minutes and I'll be right with you."  I smile but get back to finishing my work.

A sandwich and a bottle of water get dropped on my desk and I look up and see Imogen sat on the sofa in the corner of my office.  "What’s happening?  I said gimme five minutes."

"I did but that was over forty-five minutes ago and Cookie and I got too hungry to wait so there you go I brought you some lunch."

Getting up I grab the food and walk over to her.  "I'm sorry babe, thanks for this, I promise to make it up to you later tonight."  I waggle my eyebrows suggestively at her which thankfully raises a smile from her.  "You’re not pissed with me are you?"

"No of course not I was just hungry and I know you've been so busy with all of my shit that your workload must be piling up.  And anyway, we've got to be at the house straight after work to meet up with the architect and builders, so I'll have to take a rain check on your promise."  She finishes her food and gets up to go but I pull her down on to my lap.

"I think maybe I should thank you for my lunch now then don't you."  I look up and see my door is shut but I move over to lock it.  "Come here babe."  I sit her back on the edge of the sofa and run my hands up her legs and start to push her skirt up her thighs.  "Fuck you look gorgeous.  And your scent is driving me mad."  Pushing her skirt up over her hips I pull her panties down her legs and hook one of her legs over my shoulder.  "Lie back babe, this isn't gonna be quick."

"Shit Mason, don't tease me."

Lowering my head I swirl my tongue over and around her wet pussy, my hands are holding her thighs at the apex forcing them wide apart.  I circle my tongue around her hard clit but not quite touching, Ginny reaches down between her legs and starts to rub her clit, and for once I let her, and enjoy watching her make herself climax, and when I see her begin to tense I push two fingers inside her, seconds later her orgasm takes over and she's clamping down hard on my fingers as I watch her juices

pour out of her, pulling my fingers out I pull my pants down and ram my cock hard in to her pulsing channel, I pull her hands over her head and pump hard and fast in her and as my orgasm builds up I can feel her starting to shudder as another climax runs over her body and reaches my dick, squeezing it hard milking me for every drop. 

My head rolls back as her name pours from my mouth and I pump the last of me inside her.  Dropping my head back down on her shoulder I kiss up her neck and devour her mouth.

"As thank you's go that was a pretty good one, I'll have to bring you your lunch every day."  Ginny sighs and starts to move under me as my weight starts to be too much for her to manage.  "You're squashing both of us here sweetie."

"I know, but my legs aren't working too well just now!"  I pull myself off her and out of her and stand helping her up as well.

Grabbing her panties she walks off to my bathroom to clean herself up.  I go to unlock my door and Lucas is stood there about to knock.  "Shit, Mase is Ginny with you?"

"Yeah she's in the bathroom."  I turn to call her but she's stood behind me".

"What's up Luc?"  Her face frowns at him.

"You need to get to Lake, he's just called Maddie in there."

"Crap, okay let's go."  She walks quickly away from me, she reaches Lake's office before I do.

"Lake, what's going on?  Maddie why are you in here?"  Ginny is not looking happy and walks up to Maddie and reaches for her hand.

"Imogen, I need to ask Maddie certain questions about her involvement with Williams.  I believe she is possibly involved with Williams and has information that is important to our case.  I don't think you should be here."  Lake is looking very uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry Lake, but Maddie has nothing to tell you.  She is not and never has been involved with Jake Williams and does not have any secrets to divulge."  Ginny stands tall next to Maddie and looks Lake straight in the eye.

"I don't think that is true Ginny, I'm sorry but I need to ask her these questions."

"No you don't!  Leave her alone Lake and leave her out of this.  Maddie is my friend and I won't have you interrogating her.  You have no idea what has gone on in her life because you've never asked.  So I'm saying this for the last time.  Leave her alone, she is not involved with any of this."

Lucas steps up next to them both.  "Lake, you're wrong about Maddie, she has nothing to tell you, I told you this yesterday and I think after this she probably won't want to speak to you again."

Lake is about to blow a gasket but he looks at Maddie and calms himself down.  "I'm sorry Maddie, I hope you understand I had to ask."