Rising Up: Finding Me book 1 (34 page)

Imogen

So I've finished at my job for now at least.  Mason and I spoke to April and although we were both sad not to be working together, she admitted to being worried about my health and I told her that I wasn't able to give 100% of myself to the job.  I promised to work with her again if she would have me back but I saw Mason give her a look.

After lunch Mason drives me and Phoenix out to the house and introduces me to the new guys working there, Dan is still working on site and soon comes over and gives me a hug.

"Hey Imogen, it's great you're going to be out here every day.  I know you need to rest but your input is vital now we are getting to ready to start with the fixtures and fittings, it's still a long way off being finished but it's great you're here." 

He looks down at Phoenix sat patiently by my feet.  "Who's your buddy?  He looks like he's gonna be a big boy."

"Yeah, he's Ginny's guard dog so keep your boys under control Dan."  Mason gets his alpha male hat on.

Whispering, "Down boy" at him I lift my baby boy into my arms and introduce him to Dan properly.

"Ginny, for fucks sake put him down, he's too heavy for you to pick up."  Mason scowls and takes him from my arms.

"Oh sod off Mason, are you going to stop me from carrying my own child when he gets too heavy?"

"No!  But you won't be pregnant then will y..."  His voice dries up when he realizes I could have another child whilst the first still needs to be picked up.  "Okay, fair point, but please wait until we've seen Dr. Markson again, can you promise me to take it easy?"  He looks at me worriedly.

"I promise Mason, I love you and our baby too much to jeopardize anything, but Phoenix is my dog and I'll train him to bite you if you're not careful."  I lean in and kiss him.

"Okay Dan, this amazing woman and her wannabe scary dog is in charge."  He waves his hand over his head and walks back to his car leaving me with a house full of builders and a list a mile long of jobs.  "I'll pick you up later babe."

"Right then Dan, let's take a walk around and you can bring me up to date."

I watch Mason walk away and walk inside with Phoenix on his leash next to me.  The house has got so much bigger with the extension and I can really get the feel of the place. 

Spending the afternoon searching for the right furniture and all the bathroom and kitchen fixtures is just as exhausting as being at work, but the bonus of being able to walk away for a half hour and wander the grounds with the puppy following me playfully jumping into piles of leaves and sniffing out the rabbit trails relaxes me so much more than I thought it would, apart from one moment when it I felt like I was being watched but just put it down to all the workmen around.  But I get plenty of ideas for the garden and decide to start searching for a landscaper.

I'm waiting for Mason to get to me now, both Phoenix and I are worn out and I fancy a hot relaxing bath. 

Mason

Another week has past and I can't believe how time is running away with us.  I pull up at the house to collect Ginny and walk in to the main room.

"Oi!  What the fuck do you think you're doing?"  I’m shouting at some skinny guy checking out Imogen.

"Hey man, just checking out the view, that's a fine piece of ass bent down over there.  Does she work for you?"

"Get out!  You’re fired.  Dan? Get over here."  I’m shouting out for my contractor.

Ginny has stood up by this time and turns round to see what's going on.  "Mason, what are you shouting for?" 

"Because this asshole was checking you out."  Just then Dan walks in.

"Hey Mason, what's up man?"

"Get this shitbag off my property he's fired!  I don't employ men to stand around and stare at my girlfriend."

The young man suddenly looks very sheepish.  "Shit Mr. Reynolds I'm really sorry, I didn't realize who she was."  He turns to Imogen.  "I'm really sorry Ma'am."

"Mason calm down, he's fine.  Don't fire him, he didn't mean any harm."

I stare at her and run my hands down my face, breathing out in a loud huff.  "Fine, you can stay, but believe me if I see anything like that again you are outta here. 

C'mon Ginny let's get home and you can fill me in on the way.  Watch him Dan, I don't like him."

I grab hold of Ginny's hand and pull her away from the terrified kid.  "Let's go home babe, I'm tired and hungry and I expect you and Phoenix are too."

I take in a deep breath when we're in the car.  "Babe, promise me you'll be a bit more careful, there's a hell of a lot of guys on the site so can you try not to bend over anywhere near them.  That gorgeous piece of ass is mine."

"Yeah right, a six and half months pregnant woman really is every man’s fantasy."  She is really laughing at me.

"Trust me babe, you look fucking stunning and seeing you on your knees with your ass in the air got me hard so it must have the same effect on the rest of them."

We get in and I get the dog fed and settled before I go and run her bath for a soak while our supper cooks.  Taking her a glass of juice to sip while she soaks I sit on the edge and she tells me all about her day as well as the plans for the yard and garden. 

I stand and help her out of the bath and wrap a huge towel around her warm wet body and even with her belly growing larger with my child it is the most beautiful sight to me.

The next hour or so is spent eating and talking about the house and work, her ideas for the yard are brilliant, it's such a good job we've got so much land to play with.

"I heard from Maddie today."  Imogen says.

"Oh, where is she, did she say?  Lake will be pissed he hasn't heard from her at all."

"You've got to be kidding me, why on earth should she ever contact him again?  He treated her like shit.  He couldn't even look her in the eye when she went to leave.  He's lucky she didn't slap him about.  I would have. 

But yes she has gone back home but not near her parents, in fact she is somewhere completely new and is re-evaluating her life and is thinking about changing her career path completely, but hasn't quite decided what to do yet." 

I know she is still really angry with Lake, but he realizes this and keeps their conversations strictly about the case.  I know I'm going to have to help her get over Maddie leaving, I miss all of us hanging out together.

“She will be all right Imogen, Maddie is a survivor and although you feel her loss now, she will always be in your life. You have shared far too much to lose her.  We have got so much good stuff going on for us right now that you should focus on that and let her come back to you when she is ready, I’m sure she will.  Come on babe let’s get some sleep.  I love you Ginny.”

“I love you too, I can't believe what a difference you have made to me and my life.  This time last year I was trapped and frightened and I didn't think I would ever have any good things in life, things that other people take for granted, y'know someone who loves them, friends, a good job, and simple normal things like that.

But look at me now, I have no one to fear, the love of the best man in the world, really good friends, and a baby on the way, things I would never have dared to wish for.  Thank you for finding me and for the strength you have shown me through all of our problems. 

I'm sure that when you first met me you never imagined all the baggage I had hanging round me, but to carry on loving me through all of this I will never be able to prove how much you mean to me and how much I love you.  I have no doubt that I will be with you forever.”

My eyes have filled with tears listening to her pour out her heart to me.  “Every part of our time together has made us better people, as a couple we have had our fair share of shit.” I smile ruefully at her as I think of our time apart.  “But also we have developed and grown stronger individually, and I think we now both have a clearer picture of how our lives are going to change and this Imogen is a good thing and I love you with every fiber of my being.”

After checking on the dog and locking up the apartment I crawl back into our bed and pull Ginny's body against mine, my hands reach around the front of her and they rest on her swelling belly, I can feel the slow movements as my child moves around and my mind is spinning with the events of the last year and how finding Lauren with another man instigated our break up allowing me to meet Imogen, who is the most amazingly strong, brave and beautiful woman and who loves me. 

I need to plan her birthday party, it's a bit more than a month away and the house won't be quite ready and I don't want it wrecked by my drunken friends.  I'll call my mother and we can have a garden party at her place. Another idea surprises me but feels like the best one I've come up with yet, I can feel sleep begin to overtake me and soon join Imogen in a peaceful sleep.

"What plans have you got today babe?"  Breakfast has become a rush for me since Phoenix joined us.  I have to take him over to the dog park across the road for him to do his business before I can get ready for work.  I can't wait to move in to our home so that he can just be let into the yard.

"I've got a landscape gardener coming over at eleven, then the kitchen designer is due at one thirty and after that I'm going to see your Mum, we haven't caught up for ages, so I'll take my car today and I'll meet you back here after work."

"Please promise me you won't do too much, please make time to rest."  I know I'm worrying about her but I can see that she is still tired.  .  I look at my watch and see it's time to leave.  "I'm in court today, so any problems call Lucas or Lake.  I'll call you when I get a break.  Take care and drive carefully."

Imogen

The gardening company has some fantastic ideas including a penned in dog play area and a soft play section for the baby as it grows up, he also suggest leaving an area free for a swimming pool if we fancied one later.  Standing in the middle of a building site my life suddenly feels very real.  I have a house and a dog and very soon a baby, when did this all happen?  I feel like I'm on a fairground ride that isn't going to stop any time soon. 

So asking the planner to put everything down on paper and give me a quote for the cost and for the timescale, I leave him to finish his measurements and go and sit on the porch with my head in my hands feeling very overwhelmed and just a bit frightened.  I can feel somebody watching me again but when I look around there is no-one there, still all shaky I call Lucas.

"Hey Sweetcakes, what's up with you?  How's the house?"

All of my worries seem to come crashing down on me and when I start to speak I find that I can't.  "Luc, are you busy?  Is there any way you could come over to the house for a while."  My voice is quiet and just a bit wobbly as I try to contain my tears.

"Shit Ginny, what's wrong?  Look I'm on my way.  Get yourself a glass of water and keep out of the heat I'll be with you in twenty."  The phone goes dead in my hand and I just sit there trying to get my breathing under control.  Phoenix is asleep next to me so I stay put and just keep running my hands over his white and black patchy coat.

Dan walks over with a bottle of chilled water for me, Lucas must have called him.  "Are you okay Imogen, shall I call Mason or your doctor?  You don't look too well."  He pats my shoulder and sits on the other step.

"No Dan but thanks, I'll be fine in a few moments."  I take steady sips of the water and a shiver goes down my spine.  "Have you noticed anyone hanging around here, someone not on your team?"

"What, why?  But no I haven't.  Is someone bothering you?"  He starts scanning the trees and surrounding land.

"No I'm sure it's nothing I just keep getting a feeling that I'm being watched.  Please don't say anything I'm sure it's just me."  I realize I may have said the wrong thing to him.

"After everything you've been through Imogen don't keep this a secret, I'm not prepared to hide this from Mason."  His eyebrows furrow and a look of concern sweeps across his face.

Lucas comes screaming up the driveway and locks up his brakes as he comes to a stop, he's out of the car even before the engine seems to stop.

"Ginny!  What's wrong you sounded so unhappy when you called?"  Lucas walks up and pulls me up and starts to lead me indoors.

"I'm just having a panic attack and Mason is in court and I've got virtually back to back appointments today, and I'm supposed to be making really big decisions about kitchens and bathrooms and curtains and every other piece of fucking shit and I'm supposed to meet Nancy this afternoon, and I'm pregnant and fat and I don't seem to have any control over my life any more, what if I'm a crap mother, my parents are probably going to be going to prison for a long time and what eight or nine months ago I didn't know Mason or any of you, and I keep getting the feeling that somebody is here watching me but I can't see them. 

I feel my whole life is spiraling massively out of my control, and I really miss my friend."  This all tumbles out of my mouth in the biggest jumble of words and as I take a huge deep breath in and I'm not even sure he understood most of it.  My body wracks with a huge sob.

Lucas sensibly doesn't say anything he just holds on tight to me.  After many minutes have passed I look up at Lucas and pull away.  "Shit Luc, I'm so so sorry.  I can't believe I just dumped all of that on you.  You don't need to hear a hormonal heap of a woman rant on."

"Imogen, look at me.  I have told you so many times that you are never a problem to me.  You are part of my family and I look after my family.  So here's what I'm going to do.  First I'm going to call Nancy and get her to come here to you and to bring you some lunch, then she will be able to help you with your appointments and decision makings, and trust me she is pretty damn good at making them.  The fact that you are pregnant does not make you fat, you are still a total babe."

This raises a smile on my face and I nudge him with my shoulder.

"Okay, are you still with me?"  I nod. "Good, so the next problem is your parents, and Ginny darling they deserve everything coming to them, they sold you and girls like you to Williams and other sick bastards.  Let them rot, you really don't need them."

"I don't know how to get them out of my head.  I am still so angry with them.  I want to go to their trial and watch them get sentenced but I know I can't, so how am I going to ever get closure?"

"I think only time will let you heal and you have Theo back in your life now, I know you have only been here a few months and nobody could ever have foreseen the connection you and Mason have, so I think your relationship with him is as solid as if you've known him for years. 

I know you miss Maddie and I know you have been in touch with her because I have too, and she misses you as well.  Now the main thing that worries me personally is the thought that you are being watched, so I'm going to have a couple of my security team around you again for a while, that way if anyone is stalking you we will either catch them or scare them off.  Is that okay for you?"

"Yes and thank you Lucas, you are always so level-headed and calm.  Mason wouldn't be able to analyze my mad ramblings the way you have.  He would only focus on making me happy rather than sorting through the problems.  But for heaven’s sake please don't tell him I said that!"

"Your secret is safe with me, you’ve been keeping mine for a long while now, so come on let's call my aunt and you can show me all the changes in the house and then introduce me properly to this beast you tell me is only a puppy."  Taking my hand and kissing me forehead we walk in.

Nancy arrives like a whirlwind and deposits a basket full of food from homemade fried chicken and potato salad to fresh fruit salad and freshly baked chocolate muffins to finish.  Lucas decides he wants to stay and eat but is shooed away by his loving aunt.  "Let me look after her now Lucas please, and be sure to tell my son to get himself here as soon as he's done in court."

"Thanks Luc, for everything."  I manage a watery smile and he pulls me back in for a hug and leaves.

After eating more than I have done in weeks I give Nancy the tour and show her all the changes and tell her my plans for the still half-finished rooms.

"Well no wonder you feel like you do Imogen dear.  Now I know Mason had his heart in the right place suggesting you spend time here, but I don't think he has understood how much you have to organize, so we are going to prioritize the jobs, you say you've got the kitchen designer this afternoon. 

Well that's an important one so we'll keep that meeting."  Within half an hour she had sorted out my appointments and my diary was organized in to small manageable chunks and in order of priority, so after the kitchen planner had been and gone we spent the rest of our afternoon lazily talking and learning more about each other and our lives.  But the last question blew me away.

"Imogen, did you want all this.  I don't mean this house, I mean this sudden readymade life that has crash landed at your feet?  What were your expectations for your year here?  I'm not trying to pry and I do hope I'm not making you uncomfortable, but I wouldn't have seen this new life coming to Mason in my wildest dreams."

"Does that mean you are sorry it has?  Have I taken something away from his life?  It sounded like he was living in a sham relationship and not fairing any better when it ended."  I don't want to sound peeved at her question and in the back of my mind I think I knew I was reading this all wrong.

"No Ginny, it doesn't mean that at all.”  She pats my hands sympathetically.  “You are the best thing that has ever happened to him, I have never seen him as happy as he is now.  I meant are you happy with how things are turning out."

"I'm sorry Nancy, I'm living on the permanent edge of crazy just now.  To answer your question, no I never thought I would meet anyone over here, it was a way of escaping my dreadful life back home, with a new name and I hoped a new me.

Maddie wasn't happy with her life and was eager to join in with me, we expected a lot of hard work and a lot of fun new experiences.  I thought that after our year was up we would either try a different part of this country to work in or skip to a different one completely.  I feel unhappy that my best friend has chosen to leave, and I know I am responsible for her having to make that decision and I miss her every day, and I worry about her back in the UK, she has an awful amount of demons to battle with over there, and I feel I should be helping her just as she helped me. 

But I can't.  I can't leave Mason, I would never deny my child its father."  I feel her tense beside me as she digests the thought of Mason not having his child but I'm not going to let her interrupt my thoughts now.  "Did I ever think I would find love here?

No absolutely not.  I never thought I would ever want to be in a physical relationship again, my experiences of being with a man were so dark and so painful emotionally as well as physically, that I never believed I would find a man I would be prepared to be intimate with, let alone a man who would steal my own heart and soul in just one brief encounter.” 

I smile softly as I remember our first meeting.  “He left me breathless, his ability to reach inside me to the places I thought I had lost, and to unlock a side of me I wasn't aware I had.  To be able to love and trust someone so quickly and so completely and to have those feelings returned back to me astounded me.  Did you know he told me he loved me after spending only a few hours together?  I never doubted my response back to him either.  I loved him, I know I always will."

"What about the baby?  How are you coping with that?"  Her face shows concern but only in the kindest of ways.

"Oh what, little Cookie here?  Oh well I think we were both, well surprised is not a strong enough word for our reactions, mine was disbelief that something so small could survive such a violent assault on my body, and all the drugs pumped into it afterward, but I was instantly very protective of it. 

Did Mason tell you that the doctor made a suggestion that there were options available to me if I hadn't wanted to progress with it?

No? 

Oh my, we had a few harsh words with each other over that."  I chuckle at the memory.  "It was never something I would have considered unless there had been problems after my trauma.  Now I'm excited, or well as excited as I can be at the thought of expelling something the same size and weight as a bowling ball from my body! 

But the rest of it yes I'm very happy.  I have all the usual concerns as to whether I'll be any good at being a mother.  Let's face it my own mother hasn't left a very good impression or experience in my life, so I think as long as I do the exact opposite of everything she ever did I'll probably be all right at it. 

But to give you a simple answer, yes I’m happy, very very happy."  I push my hair out of my eyes and look up at the sun beginning to make it's slow descent out of the sky, I wriggle to get more comfortable with a baby doing somersaults inside me and a large snoring dog resting his head on my thighs I look back at Nancy and see her wiping her eyes.

"Oh Nancy.  Have I upset you?  I really didn't mean too."  I reach over and rub my hand up and down her arm.

"No I just never expected you to answer me so honestly and candidly. I thought I may have just got a simple yes you were happy, and that would have been enough for me.  You have shared so much of yourself with me and with my family since you moved here I truly believe that we are blessed to have you. 

You have made my son the happiest I have ever seen him and I want to thank you for that.  Anyway, look at us sat her getting all serious when really we should be talking about baby names and nursery decorating."

Just like that our moment is over, but I am grateful for her questions and I have a very cathartic moment as I embrace this sweet caring woman.  As I feel the emptiness of my previous life wash itself away from me.

"Back to business Imogen, the kitchen designer has been and gone and is going to be sending you his costings and potential delivery date by tomorrow.  The landscaper is doing the same, so tomorrow we have the bathroom designer in the morning and then the flooring expert in the afternoon and I think we should get Mason involved with the flooring, I think he already knows what he wants so he can take charge of that one while we plan the baby's room."  She looks at me expectantly.

"We?  Are you coming back to help again?"  I hope she doesn't detect the sound of neediness in my voice, because I really want her to be here again.

"Of course I am, and I'm going to be having a few sharp words with my first born tonight before I leave to go home."

"Oh don't be too hard on him, I think he wanted me to make the decisions because it would have just ended up a larger version of his man-cave of an apartment."  I laugh at the thought and I think Nancy actually shudders at the thought.

"Well we'll see because here he is and he's got Lucas with him again, I wonder why?"  Nancy stands and brushes the dust off her legs.

I walk over to Mason and let him pull me into his strong arms.  "Hey babe, I hear you've had a tough day, I'm sorry.  I promise to be here for you from now on."  Leaning down he kisses me soundly without a care that his mother is standing just a few feet away with Lucas.