Risk Everything (33 page)

had vowed to keep himself to her.

Ugsome growled and snarled. She reached down to calm him, and as her hand came back up, she secreted Alpin’s knife in the folds of her green tunic. That very tunic she had worn to please Rolf. She rose to face him.

Should a hair fall from Ugsome’s head, it would be heard in that unearthly quiet room. Rolf waited, rigid as the trunk of a giant oak.

“Ye are handfast with me, Rolf. Everyone at Rimsdale heard yer pledge to me and mine to ye for a year and a day.”

Rolf ’s jaw twitched, the lone sign that he was in any way upset. “My pledge to you wasna for a year and a day, Meghan. My true words were, ‘I, Rolf, the MacDhaidh of Rimsdale, pledge myself to Meghan, a Morgan of Blackthorn. I keep myself only to her for as long as we are one.’As of three days past, we are no longer
as one
.”

Horror prickled over her like a thousand nettles. She used all her strength to keep from trembling. These weeks gone by were but a lie. Rolf had deceived her.

Rolf had made her love him. For vengeance.

Rolf had made her believe she was his handfast wife. For vengeance.

She could barely breathe. Hot fury roiled deep within her, realizing what more he had done to her.

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He had trampled her pride in the muck of a cesspit. All those days and nights of love were not love. They were vengeance.

She walked slowly around the table. Ugsome followed. He protected her and kept so close he brushed against her legs. His eyes stared at Rolf as if he hated the man as much as the pale beauty at the man’s side. Meghan halted ten paces from them.

A new feeling, foreign to her, pulsed through every inch of her body.

Hate. A hate so great it crackled the very air around her.

“Ye are right, Rolf. When I refused to be yer leman, ye did pledge ‘as long as we are one,’ while I vowed a year and a day. That doesna change the fact that our handfast is legal.”

“Nay, not legal, Meghan. I signed a contract for Ailsa over a year hence. It is to that vow I must keep.” His words were slow and distinct. Everyone in the hall could hear him.

Meghan’s soul screamed in agony. She had been what she had sworn she would never be.

Any man’s leman
.

All her scorn for him flashed in her eyes as she stared at Rolf. Without a blink or a moment’s hesitation, her hand whipped out and light flashed off the speeding blade of Alpin’s knife.

Thunk!

The honed tip embedded in the floor between his feet where but two fingers’ width separated them. It landed with such force the haft vibrated back and forth and brushed against his boots.

Ailsa screamed and scurried behind him. The men who had come with Ailsa found their arms grasped by Rimsdale warriors. No one uttered a word or moved to touch Meghan.

Rolf ’s people had grown to know the Pride of Blackthorn and her depth of honor. Had she meant harm to their lord, he would now be dead.

“Aye! That blade disavows my own
year and a day
, Rolf. We
are one
no longer.” Contempt rang in her voice as she spoke loud and clear. “I vow afore all that I owe the MacDhaidh of Rimsdale naught. No part of me will ever be his. Should I be

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breedin’, he has no rights since we were never legally handfast by his own words. I owe him no loyalty. No respect. Naught.”

Meghan looked at Ailsa quaking behind Rolf, and then met his gaze. “Ye are well met in yer choice of a life-mate, Rolf.

A harpy befits a liar.”

She had to escape this room afore her rage led her to do something she would later regret. She strode with regal dignity toward the doorway. Ugsome placed himself between Meghan and anyone they passed on their way from the room.

Rolf did not try to detain her.

Every muscle in Rolf ’s body turned rigid. As Ailsa rode in on her palfrey, he had longed to send her away. In all honor, he could not break a signed contract.

Lucifer’s hateful soul! Had he any thought that Meghan planned to play a welcome tribute atop the barbican, he would have hidden the bagpipes so she could not. She had unknowingly paid a salute to the woman who came to usurp the place that should have been hers. When Ailsa scorned her beautiful music, his hand had twitched, so great was the urge to slap his bride’s mouth.

His heart died as he had watched the emotions that flashed in Meghan’s lovely eyes. Hurt that he ignored her; disbelief when she spied Ailsa; horror when he exposed what he had done to her.

He had lived in fear that when she learned what he had done, it would kill her spirit. He need worry no longer. Hatred throbbed through her every pore. It would keep her strong.

“Rolf,” Ailsa shrieked at him. “Imprison that crazy woman.

She meant to murder me! Had you not been so swift to protect me, my life’s blood would now be flowing through these rushes.”

Rolf ignored her as he bent to retrieve the knife. He recognized it as Alpin’s and held it out to him.

“That woman is brainsick. You must have her whipped

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until her flesh hangs in ribbons,” Ailsa insisted as she tugged the tunic at his shoulder to get his attention.

“Alpin, see Ailsa to her room,” Rolf said without looking at her. Knowing he would spend the rest of his days with this woman made him wish to mount Luath and ride until they dropped.

“She meant to kill me. I am certain of it,” Ailsa argued as Alpin led her from the room. “Had she not been so unskilled, that blade would now be through my heart.”

“Enough, Ailsa,” Alpin muttered as he urged her up the stairwell. “Even the youngest child at Rimsdale knows the skill Meghan used to place that blade in such a wee spot.”

Turning to Dougald and Jamie, Rolf gave his next orders.

“See that every warrior at Rimsdale knows Meghan isna allowed to leave.”

Dougald spoke so none but Rolf could hear. “Lad, do ye no’ think ye should let the lass return to Blackthorn? Ye have yer revenge. To keep her here, where she will be forced to see ye both each day, may well destroy her.”

“She is not to leave,” Rolf shouted. He knew ’twas wrong to force her to remain, but he could not bear it if she was gone, never to see her again. “By rights, her life was forfeit once she drew a blade on me. I dinna seek her death, but she will remain a ‘guest’ at Rimsdale.”

Seeing Dougald would speak again, Rolf ’s anger grew.

“Eneuch! Or would you prefer I place her in the dungeons?”

His words echoed off the walls of the emptying room. He knew why everyone was leaving. Many had not attempted to hide their displeasure in the day’s events, for they had come to admire and love Meghan of Blackthorn. Her honesty and willingness to help the lowest of them had made her a welcome addition to Rimsdale.

Years ago when Ailsa had come to the castle to attend his marriage to her cousin Ingirid, all knew the moment she spied him that she coveted her kin’s mate. After that, she visited often. His wife was not fond of the pale beauty and looked ill at ease each time she arrived yet again with Alpin.

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Rolf had been aware of Ailsa’s lust for him, for she took every opportunity to confront him alone, to brush against him and offer herself wordlessly. After she became open in her pursuit, he had told her outright that he would remain faithful to Ingirid. From then on, Ailsa’s visits were infrequent and lacked even a show of pretended warmth for her cousin.

When he knew he must wed again, he wanted to avoid a bride search. Alpin, knowing his sister was in love with Rolf, suggested Ailsa. Rolf had agreed. ’Twas easier to take a wife who desired him than to contract for an unseen stranger.

Never had she revealed this side of herself he witnessed today. He did not like it. Was she two women? One soft and eager to offer him anything, the other sharp and demanding?

He would soon put her in her place. If he could not have the woman he loved, he would have one who served him well, gave him sons, and helped make his life comfortable.

He sat on the nearest bench, shoulders slumped and elbows rested on his knees, and held his head between his hands.

What devil had possessed him to avenge Ingirid and his son’s deaths in such a way? To contract for Ailsa’s hand, when love for Meghan had smoldered in the depths of his soul? ’Twas like he had cut out his own heart and fed it to Ugsome, were that possible.

He sighed. Never again would he be happy and look forward to each morn as he had these many days with Meghan.

Meghan entered the stable, knowing Jamie noted her presence but did not intrude. She was grateful for his kindness.

That Rolf had not thrown her into the dungeons surprised her.

He had every right, for she had drawn a blade on him afore his people.

Storm nickered in welcome, giving her the comfort she so sorely needed. From this moment on, she would expend all her energy finding a means to escape. As great as her love for Rolf had been, she now loathed him with equal vigor. He had forced her to live a lie. Had shamed her afore everyone.

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Each day she would wait atop the castle and watch for Cloud Dancer. With an aching heart, she tore a strip of cloth from the hem of her green undertunic and secured it to her thigh. The eagle would come again, and she would tie it to his leg to let Blackthorn know she planned to escape. Truly, ’twas not necessary. She knew someone would always watch close by the tree.

Ugsome stood outside the stall. If anyone ventured near, his angry snarls sent them scurrying away. All but Garith.

When he sought her out, she had not the heart to ignore the young man. He looked sore at heart. He was torn between the brother he worshiped and his own sense of chivalry.

“Garith, dinna fash yerself. Yer brother never hid the fact he wanted revenge on my family. ’Tis the reason he hunted me down and brought me to Rimsdale.”

“Aye, I ken that. Still, I knew he signed a contract with Alpin for his sister’s hand. He forbade anyone to mention it.

I am shamed for I was too cowardly to tell you.” His voice quavered. He stared at the tip of his leather shoes. “Rolf has been so happy these past weeks. Like a dimwitted gowk, I believed he rethought the idea and that you would wed at the end of the year.”

“What yer brother did will not cause me to think less of ye.

Ye are honor bound to obey yer lord and couldna go against his command.” Rage and heartbreak made her voice huskier than usual. “If ye would, Garith, I must needs be alone this day. Would ye take Simple out for her exercise? I would deem it a kindness. I trust her with no other man than ye or Malcolm.”

Garith nodded solemnly and left her alone. Meghan knew Rolf would give orders to thwart her escape. Now it would be more difficult than afore, but she had to escape Rimsdale.

She brushed and groomed Storm. Soon, Ede approached carrying a square of linen. It was well past the noon hour, and Meghan had not eaten but that one bite of bread to ward off sickness.

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“I knew you would be hungry. You have not eaten this day,”

Ede said, her voice soft with sympathy.

“Thank ye, Ede. Ye are most kind to think of me.”

“Nay, not kind.” Ede started to cry as she handed Meghan the bundle of food. “If I was, I would have ignored Rolf ’s commands and told you what I suspected. When he suggested the handfast, I thought it the whole of his revenge to wait a year to marry you. I never believed he could be so cruel as this.”

“I know. Dinna fash yerself, Ede. Ye have been a good friend to me since I arrived.” Meghan sat on a bale of hay and patted the spot next to her for Ede to join her. “I willna ever again sit at table with Rolf. I would take it as a kindness if ye would help me as ye have done today.”

“Aye, I will see you dinna lack for food.” She clasped her hands in her lap until the knuckles turned white. She stared down at them and rocked back and forth. “My husband’s uncle lives in Perth, a few leagues from Abernethy. I have told Dougald I wish to send him a missive. I would find if he will take me in. I canna live here any longer.”

Meghan opened her mouth to protest, but Ede held up her hand to stop her. “After meeting Ailsa, do you dream we would deal well together? She would see me married to the lowest serf to rid herself of me.”

Ede returned to the castle, and Ugsome plopped down at Meghan’s feet. Seeing a new wound on his snout, an idea formed in her mind. Of an evening, the beast would always be within the castle grounds when the barbican was closed.

Yet, the next morn he would pad across the bridge from the mainland.

Every castle had a bolt hole. After dark, she had but to follow Ugsome, and the dog would show her the where of it.

Avoiding the guards would be the difficult part. Mayhap Ede could help her with that.

Late that evening as everyone assembled in the great hall, Meghan returned to Ede’s room. Since that morn, she had

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forced all feeling for Rolf from her mind. He was now
MacDhaidh
to her. Never again Rolf. When once more on Blackthorn lands, she would release her emotions. Until then, she would think only of a way to escape him.

Soon she heard Ede’s voice outside and opened the door wide for Dougald to carry in a large tray of steaming food.

Seeing the commander of the Rimsdale warriors doing such a duty surprised Meghan. She thanked him for his kindness afore he left.

After eating, Meghan went over her plans with Ede and asked her help. It was much to ask, for in a sense, she bade the woman to disobey her lord. Ede did not hesitate to offer her aid.

She donned the men’s clothing Ede brought her and covered herself in a brown mantle. She opened the door a crack to be sure no one lurked on the landing. She padded from the room and kept to the shadows as she made her way out into the bailey. The moon was full, but clouds chased across the sky to mask its bright glow. In the shadows of a thickly leafed tree, she folded the mantle and laid it close to the trunk, where she covered it with leaves.