Risk of a Lifetime (Mills & Boon Medical) (3 page)

She let him hold her for a while, then sighed softly and pushed away, her hands, the hands that so many times had wiped away his childish tears, gentle on his chest. He let her go, tipped up her chin and stared down into her eyes. Her own tears now weren’t very far away, and he frowned and tutted softly.

‘I’m here for you, Marnie, you know that, don’t you? Any time, day or night. You just have to call me.’

‘I know that, darling. Thank you.’

He shook his head. ‘Don’t thank me. We’re all in this together. I love him, too, you know.’

‘I know.’ She sighed. ‘I think he’s going to need a wash and a change before we settle him for the night.’

‘OK. I’ll sort him out. You make yourself a drink and sit down and have a rest. You look done in.’

It took him a while to sort out his grandfather. It wasn’t helped by the fact that the old man was a bit feisty and resistant to his physio.

But when Ed tucked him back up in bed, settled him on his pillows and kissed him goodnight, the old man settled back with a sigh.

‘That’s better, Edward.’

The words were slurred, but he knew what his grandfather was saying and it was the nearest he’d get to thanks. His answering smile was a little crooked. ‘We aim to please, Grumps.’

‘Well, go on. All done now.’

Ed sighed and straightened up, the tenuous link broken. ‘Goodnight, Grumps. Sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning.’

There was a grunt, but the old man was already drifting off, and he went out and closed the door softly behind him.

His grandmother was waiting in the kitchen, a cup by the kettle. ‘Tea or coffee?’

‘Oh, tea, weak. I’ve had too much coffee today.’

‘So how was he with you?’

‘OK. Bit argumentative.’ He gave a wry grin, and his grandmother smiled sadly.

‘I don’t know what we’d do without you.’ Her face crumpled briefly. ‘Hideous bloody disease,’ she muttered, a little quiver in her voice. ‘It’s so cruel, so wicked. He used to be such a nice man, so kind and affectionate, just like you. I can’t bear the thought of having to watch you disintegrate like him—’

‘You won’t have to,’ he said firmly. ‘I’ve told you that.’

‘So you have,’ she said quietly, and then she straightened up and looked him in the eye with that way of hers that told him she knew he was lying.

He felt a flicker of guilt and dismissed it. It wasn’t really a lie. She wouldn’t see him deteriorate like his grandfather—but possibly only because she was unlikely to live long enough for the disease to manifest itself. If he’d even got the gene...

He drank his tea, chatted about his day to give his grandmother something to distract her from the topic he was so keen to avoid, and then left her, driving the short distance to his rented house.

He hadn’t needed to rent it. He could have stayed with his grandparents or his parents. Both of them lived within minutes of the hospital, but this had been closer, and he’d used that as an excuse because he’d needed it. It was his sanctuary, his private space, his bolthole from the awful reality that was his potential destiny.

He parked in the carport at the back of the garden and let himself in through the conservatory. It was a lovely evening, a little chilly but he didn’t mind that. He needed the fresh air. He poured himself a glass of wine, took it back out to the garden and dropped into the swing seat, shifting it idly to and fro with one foot and letting his mind drift over the day.

And centre stage was Annie Brooks.

She was older than him. Mid-thirties? Maybe late? He didn’t know exactly, but she was consultant grade and even with his rigid focus on his career he hadn’t got there yet. Just this last rung on the ladder to go and he’d be able to look for a consultant’s post.

Where would he be then?

London? Back to Great Ormond Street, maybe.

Not here, that was for sure. Once his grandfather had gone, there would be nothing to keep him here in this quiet coastal backwater where nothing much ever happened.

At least, it hadn’t in the last thirty-two years, and he had no reason to believe it would happen now just because he’d come home to watch his grandfather die a slow and lingering death.

He sighed, the image of his grandmother’s face as she’d looked at him in the kitchen triggering another twinge of guilt.

Did she really know he was lying?

He hadn’t lied, though. Not exactly, and she wouldn’t have to watch him disintegrate, not unless he got really unlucky. He’d told her he hadn’t had a positive result from the predictive screening test, which was true, because he hadn’t had the result at all.

He’d had the genetic counselling, the blood test, gone through the whole process right up to the bitter end. But he hadn’t taken that last step of hearing his fate, and he didn’t want to. It was his life. He could make his own decisions about it, and choosing whether or not to know the truth about his own destiny was one of them. Not telling his family about that decision was another, but it
would
stop with him, that wasn’t a lie, because he wasn’t having children.

Ever.

And nor was he taking some poor unsuspecting woman with him on the journey to hell, if that should turn out to be his fate.

His grandmother’s face disappeared, replaced inexplicably by the face of Annie Brooks, and he frowned.

No. No way. He wasn’t touching her with a bargepole. She was too nice, too decent for the only kind of relationship he had in mind. He’d be better off with Kate. At least she knew the rules.

Except he didn’t want Kate.

He wanted Annie, and he couldn’t have her. It wasn’t fair to her. And anyway, she’d made it clear she wanted to put as much distance as possible between them at all times.

Well, thank goodness one of them had some common sense.

He swore softly, drained the wine and went to bed.

CHAPTER TWO

T
HERE
WAS
SOMETHING
different about him the next day.

Annie couldn’t put her finger on it, and it took her till lunchtime to work out what it was.

He was avoiding her eye.

It had taken her that long to cotton on because she’d been so busy avoiding his, but once she realised it, she felt curiously, stupidly disappointed.

Why? She didn’t
want
him to look at her, to crowd her space, to be underfoot all the time like he had been yesterday.

Did she?

No
!

‘Annie?’

She glanced up to see James Slater, their clinical lead, standing a few feet away, watching her with his head tilted to one side.

‘Oh. Hi.’ She smiled apologetically at him. ‘Sorry, I was miles away. What can I do for you, James?’

‘Nothing. Absolutely nothing, so why don’t you take lunch now while it’s so quiet?’

‘Shh.’ She pressed her finger to her lips, and he chuckled.

‘Superstitious?’

She grinned. ‘Always. But I will grab some lunch while the going’s good. We didn’t have time yesterday, in case you’re running away with the idea that we had an idle day!’

‘No, I gather it was chaos. Sorry I had to bail on you for that meeting. How was Ed?’

Too beautiful for his own good. Or hers.

‘Good. Great. Excellent doctor.’

‘I’m glad about that. I thought he would be. His references were stunning and we were really lucky to get him. Right, off you go before that damn phone rings.’

She grinned again, saluted and went, grabbing her bag from her locker on the way, then hurried outside to go round to the café in the sunshine.

And bumped straight into Ed.

Literally.

‘Aagh!’

She leapt back, clutching at her scrub top and pulling it hastily away from her chest. ‘Sheesh, that’s hot!’ she gasped, flapping the fabric to cool it as the coffee soaked straight through and drenched her.

‘Hell, Annie, I’m sorry. Are you all right?’

He was shaking cappuccino froth off his hand, and she tilted her head and gave him a sarky look. ‘Oh, peachy—apart from being doused in scalding coffee! Why didn’t you have a lid on it?’

‘I did—you squashed it when you ran into it. I’m so sorry. Are you all right? You’re not really scalded, are you?’

She thought about it and shook her head. Her bra was sopping, and the coffee had been hot but not hot enough to damage her. She could feel it cooling down already in the light breeze.

‘Don’t worry, I won’t sue you. I’m just going to be wringing wet and a little fragrant for the rest of the day,’ she said wryly.

‘Yeah, you probably need to change.’

‘Really? I thought I’d wander round like this all day wearing cappuccino—set a new trend, you know?’

‘You don’t have to be sarcastic—’

‘I can be what I like, I’m the one soaked to the skin with it,’ she retorted, but then she gave a despairing laugh and shook her head. ‘Don’t worry, I can find myself some new scrubs. The underwear might be harder.’

‘Ah. Sorry, I can’t help you there. I don’t have my spare bra in my locker today.’

She looked up, a surprised laugh on her lips, and their eyes met and locked, the laughter dying as heat flared between them.

Why were they even talking about her underwear
?

She dragged her eyes away. ‘Look, it’s fine. I’m sorry about the coffee, I’ll get you another one while I’m in the café.’

‘Forget it. I’ll get myself another one. Look, why don’t you go and change and we’ll go over there together and I’ll buy you lunch?’

‘Do you have time?’

That wasn’t what she’d meant to say! No, no, no! She should have told him it wasn’t necessary and she’d rather be alone!

Her mouth, however, didn’t seem to be under her control any more, and he cornered her with his next words.

‘I’ve got time. I wasn’t going to bother to eat, but as it’s quiet—’

‘Shush! What is it with everyone today?’

He grinned, his mouth kicking up on one side, and she felt her insides turn over.

‘Go on, hurry up, get changed and we’ll grab a sandwich and eat it in the park. Shoo.’

* * *

She must be mad.

She dabbed the coffee out of her bra—thankfully not a moulded-cup T-shirt bra but just a thin lace one—squashed it dry with paper towels, then pulled on the clean scrubs. It would dry off in time, and she didn’t have any choice.

She checked herself in the mirror, then headed back outside and found him propped against the wall of the building on his phone. He glanced at her, nodded and ended the call, slipping the phone back into his pocket.

‘Better?’

‘I’ll do.’

‘I really am sorry.’

‘As you were kind enough to point out, I ran into you—although technically I wasn’t running.’

‘Almost, but I wasn’t looking where I was going. Why don’t we call it quits?’ he said with a wry grin, and ushered her into the café. Two minutes later they were sitting outside on a bench and ripping open sandwich packets.

‘Coronation chicken or tuna?’

‘Don’t care. I just want to eat it before my pager goes off.’

He split them, handed her one of each and tore open the potato crisps, and she put their coffee down carefully on the bench between them and bit into the first sandwich.

‘So, Annie Brooks, tell me all about yourself,’ he said.

She raised an eyebrow at him. ‘All?’

He grinned. ‘Well, obviously not all. I don’t need to know when you started your periods or what grade you got for your A levels—’

‘Thirteen, and three As. You?’

He threw back his head and laughed. ‘OK. Three As and a B. And I’m still waiting. My mother said it might be a while.’

It was her turn to laugh.

‘OK. I’m...single,’ she said, reluctant to use the word when it wasn’t technically true, because she was definitely in a relationship, albeit with her children. But there didn’t seem to be a box to tick for ‘was engaged to a philandering adulterer who legged it before I could tell him I was pregnant’ so it was hard to find a more appropriate word. And for some reason she didn’t want to tell him about all that.

‘I trained in London, at King’s, and then I worked in various London hospitals, and I’m thirty-six and this is my first consultancy. I work part time, job sharing with Andy, and I work four days a week. Your turn.’

‘OK. I’m thirty-two, single, I trained in Nottingham and I’ve worked in Cambridge and London. My last job was in Great Ormond Street and I’m angling for a consultancy there.’

‘Ah. Hence the Paeds.’

‘Indeed. And I’m definitely full time. With bells on. So, that’s the work thing. How about the rest? Favourite colour, music, film...’

‘OK, my favourite colour is green, I’m vegetarian, a member of Greenpeace, my favourite food is—’

‘Don’t tell me. Peas. Or spinach? Green beans?’

She couldn’t suppress the smile. ‘You guessed.’

‘I sensed a green theme going on and I know for a fact you were lying about being a vegetarian, because you’re eating a chicken sandwich.’ He smiled ruefully. ‘OK. No more prying. Although I wasn’t, really.’

She conceded the point and opened up a little. ‘Actually, my favourite colour probably is green. Look over there at the new leaves on the trees, that brilliant acid green. Isn’t that the most wonderful colour? So full of hope and promise.’

He looked, and with a soft sigh he nodded, his smile somehow sad. ‘Yes. Yes, it is,’ he said quietly. ‘So, if it’s not too personal, why are you here, in Yoxburgh?’

‘Because my family’s here,’ she said honestly but without elaboration. ‘You?’

‘Ditto,’ he said, but there was a shadow in his eyes.

There was a question, as yet unformed, poised on the tip of her tongue when their pagers both beeped.

He pulled his out, glanced at it and stuffed the rest of his sandwich in his mouth as he sprinted for the door, leaving her to deal with the debris of their lunch.

She left their half-finished drinks. She’d had enough coffee-related incidents today without risking another one. It was only when she joined him in Resus and he glanced down at her chest and grinned that she saw the damp imprint of lace on her scrub top. And her nipples, chilly from the light breeze over the damp fabric, had peaked enthusiastically.