Read Rita Lakin_Gladdy Gold_01 Online
Authors: Getting Old Is Murder
"Now what, what?" Evvie asks in return.
"Are we going to the get-together? Everybody said they
were going after the services," says Bella.
"Do we have to? I'm afraid to look anybody in the eye
after missing it. We'll be the laughing-stocking of Lanai Gardens,"
says Sophie, Queen of Malapropisms.
"Well, I don't care. We'll get to talk to Jerry and Ilene
and the kids. It's the least we can do," says Ida.
"I agree," Evvie adds.
"All right," I say. "Where are they having it?" The
incredible silence that follows says it all.
"Nobody took down the name of the restaurant? Or the
address?" I say, gritting my teeth.
"I think it starts with an
M,"
Sophie
contributes.
"You mean like meshugeneh, like all of you?" I say to
them. "I can't believe this is happening. Why do I have to be
responsible for everything? I left one thing up to you to take care of
. . ." I sigh. "Is it at any of the places we usually go? Everybody
think
!"
"No," Ida says. "I remember saying to someone I never
heard of that restaurant before."
"It's someplace in Margate, or maybe Tamarac," says
Sophie.
"It could even be Boca Raton," says Bella.
"Well, that's that," says Evvie.
Another long silence.
"I can't do it!" Bella cries.
"Do what?" I ask.
"Just go home and do nothing. I won't be able to stand
it."
"Me, too. I don't want to be alone," says Sophie. "I'll
just keep crying."
"We can go somewhere for lunch by ourselves. I could
eat." Ida says this with no conviction whatsoever. It gets the silence
it deserves.
I walk over to Francie's coffin, sitting out here in the
hot sun waiting for the groundskeepers to come and slowly lower it into
that horrifying gaping hole.
I bend toward it, cupping my ear as if listening. "What?
What's that you say?" The others turn and gawk. Finally I straighten
up. "Well, it's peculiar, but if that's what you want, Francie."
I start walking away. The girls look at one another,
befuddled. I call over my shoulder. "Francie told me what she wants us
to do. Come on."
They just stand there. "Come
on,
girls."
They run after me, puzzled but obedient, as Bella says,
"Oh, not again over those dead bodies!" And Ida calls back to the
casket, "Rest in peace, Francie, you hear!"
Five minutes later I pull into the parking lot of the
Seminole Indian Bingo Hall and Casino. They are staring at me
incredulously, and I tell them as I park the car, "Francie said that we
should win the pick-a-pet for her!"
I open the trunk where all our bingo gear is always at
the ready. Before they start grabbing for them, I raise my hand in
warning. I tell them that they are never, never, under penalty of
torture, to tell anybody where we went after Francie's funeral.
I had to think of something to save this god-awful day.
And knowing Francie, if she could have whispered anything at all to me,
she would have said, "
Carpe Diem,
babe--seize the day. What the
hell--PLAY BINGO!"
T
he quiet is deafening, if that makes any sense. Since
Francie's funeral last week, a pall has fallen over Lanai Gardens. Our
friends and neighbors go about their day's activities very quietly.
When people speak, they speak in whispers. There are none of the usual
complaints about the weather. Francie made a difference in our lives
and her loss is beyond measure. And maybe because it is Francie, we
think about our own mortality. Especially we who live by ourselves. It
brings an icy feeling to the back of the neck to think about dying all
alone.
"Your coffee and bagels," she announces.
"Thanks, Soph," Evvie says. "Just leave
them on the sink."
We start working on the closets, but are
aware that Sophie hasn't left. We hear her clattering about.
"What are you doing, Soph?" I call out.
"You work, don't worry about me. I'll just
kibitz."
Evvie and I exchange glances. Does that
mean she plans to keep talking and drive us crazy?
"Why?" asks Evvie. "Do you have a headache?"
Exasperated, Evvie says, "But she was
alone,
Sophie."
"Well, maybe we should all carry aspirin
all over our bodies from now on." She waits for a response.
"Thank you for sharing that. Don't you have
someplace to go?"
"Not 'til two when we play cards." She
disappears back into the kitchen-living room area.
Evvie holds up a beautiful peach organza
cocktail gown. "Remember?" she asks.
Evvie nods and folds it away carefully. She
opens the next drawer. "Oh," she cries out.
"What?" I pull my head out of the closet.
"We can't keep doing this. We'll never get
done," I say as gently as I can.
"That's just it! I don't ever want to get
done, because that will be the last we have of her."
"I'm going to wring her neck," Evvie says
through gritted teeth.
"Bet you five dollars." Evvie smirks.
"No bet. It can only be--" I call out, "Is
that you, Mr. Slezak?"
Evvie and I return to the living room and
there he is--gold chains gleaming.
Evvie snarls at him, "Jews don't get stars
in crowns!"
"Well, so call it a mitzvah, this good
deed."
"Why are you here, Mr. Slezak?" I ask.
"Leo,
why do you fight calling me
Leo?"
"So,
Mr. Slezak,
" Evvie says
deliberately, "tell us what you want."
"I need a set of keys. The family, such
nice people, gave me the listing."
Evvie groans. We forgot to warn Jerry.
"Grave robber," Evvie mutters.
"What difference will that make," Evvie
says, losing her patience. "You'll never sell it anyway."
"How can you show such cruelty?" He pleads,
"Don't I live here, too, among you? Am I not one of us?"
Evvie smirks at his pathetic parody of
The
Merchant of Venice.
"Coincidences. I've been thinking there
have been too many. Selma and Francie."
"What are you talking about?" Evvie asks,
now more puzzled than alarmed.
"But isn't it possible? Couldn't it have
happened like that?"
"Yes. However, Miss Marple and I agree--we
don't believe in coincidences."
"Oh, you and your mystery books--"
"I learn a lot from them. What it's
beginning to sound like is an M.O."
"As in 'modus operandi,' the method used in
a crime."
"A crime?" Now the worry lines appear on
her face.
The doorbell rings and we both jump.
"Later," I say as I go to answer, hoping it
isn't Sophie again.
Surprisingly, it is Harriet Feder, carrying
a small basket.
"Come on in," Evvie calls out warmly.
"Thanks, Harriet, that's really very
thoughtful. You're not sick . . . ?"
"We'll take all the help we can get," Evvie
says.
"We're just about to start on the dishes,"
I tell her.
"I'll pass them down, you put them in the
cartons," I say as I head towards the kitchen cabinets.