Rite of Rejection (Acceptance Book 1) (22 page)

Neither of us says a word as he hands me the camera and reaches in to grab our chair. The sun will be up any minute. We hustle back across the courtyard and through the maze of neat and tidy alleys until we reach the bunkhouse. Daniel’s hand pauses on the door and he looks back at me. “Not a word to Elizabeth.”

I nod my head. We won’t be telling Elizabeth that everything changes in two days because of us.

Twenty-Six

Only two days left. How in the world are we going to make this work? I focused so much of my effort yesterday on the logistics of hacking into the feed that I didn’t give any thought to what we’ll actually say once we do it.

I’ve been running through speeches in my head all day, pacing up and down the room while Daniel works on connecting the camera to the transmitter. Everything I come up with sounds ridiculous.

Who’s going to believe Daniel and me, standing in front of the camera, swearing we aren’t criminals after we hack into the Acceptance ceremony feed? It’s crazy. I’m crazy and I’m going to get us killed.

“Rebecca, your pacing is driving me nuts.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” I pull out a chair and join Daniel at the table. “I can’t come up with a viable scenario in which the two of us convince the entire population of the Territories that the Cardinal is lying to them about who gets sent here.”

Daniel sets down his tools and takes both of my hands in his. “This is why the Cardinal sent you here. Because you’re smart and you know what to say to make people believe you. You are going to figure this out.”

“Maybe if I had another month or a week. I’ll never get it by tomorrow.”

“Okay, that’s it. Too much time cooped up in the bunkhouse.” He pulls me up and marches me over to the door, practically shoving me out into the sunlight. “Go for a walk and clear your head.” Daniel bends down and gives me a quick kiss. “Just don’t go too far.” He ducks back inside and pulls the door closed in my face.

“Great. A walk. Because the PIT is so inspiring.” I mutter the words under my breath, but Daniel can’t hear me anyway.

I set off down the alley, not really caring which direction I walk in. Every street looks the same and none of them hold the answers to how I’m supposed to change things.

Lots of people are out today enjoying the warm sunshine before summer takes over and it’s hot enough to roast a chicken outside. I don’t really want to be around others right now, so I duck down a smaller alley and head into a deeper part of the PIT I don’t normally come to.

I don’t think I’ve been back this way since Eric and I were searching our grid for escape supplies. That was a lifetime ago, but nothing has changed. A small spot of yellow from an early weed separates one bunkhouse from another.

Dandelions! Two people might not say much, but four people begin to tell a story. I spin around in a circle to orient myself. I think her bunk is a few alleys over. I dash down the clear paths and hope she’s home. If I can convince Constance and Thomas to work with us, we might actually stand a chance.

There’s only one bunkhouse on the street with curtains hanging in the window. I rush to the door and knock hard three times.

Please be home. Constance opens the door and I flash the biggest smile I can. “Rebecca, I thought we’d seen the last of you. Come in.”

Inside her house, not much has changed. The same rectangle door-table still dominates the room, though she’s managed to get ahold of enough fabric to make a new blanket for their bed.

“Sit, sit. I’ve heard rumors about your little adventure last summer, but no one seems to have any real details. But here you are after I heard you were dead from a crotchety old gossip two roads over.”

Last summer’s disaster is the last topic I want to talk about, but I need Constance to trust me. “Well, I’m not dead. I spent a bunch of months in Quarantine when the guards caught us trying to escape.”

“Hmm…so that part is true, then. Though I did hear that one of the girls in your group didn’t make it.” I don’t think Constance is trying to be mean. Death is a regular part of the PIT, but Molly’s death is still painful.

“Molly, she was my friend. She died trying to protect us so we could try to get out.”

“I’m sorry.” Constance reaches across the table and lays one of her hands on top of mine. “Really, I mean that. No one should have to watch a friend die.”

I nod my head. It’s now or never. “I’m hoping Molly didn’t die in vain.”

Constance leans back, away from the table. “You aren’t going to try to escape again, are you? The PIT is crawling with guards these days.”

“No, leaving isn’t an option. But there’s still a way to get out.”

“What are you talking about?”

I have to trust her. She might go straight to a guard the minute I walk out the door, but I refuse to believe it. Not everyone lives like Eric, getting ahead by backstabbing the people who trust him. “We want to tell people what’s really going on in here, who the Cardinal sends to the PIT. Tomorrow, during the Acceptance ceremony, we’re going to hack into the feed and tell people the truth.” I grab for her hand and squeeze it too tight. “I want you and Thomas to join me. Tell the Territories your story.”

Constance jerks her hand away from me. “Are you crazy?” She stands and walks in a slow circle next to the table. “Even if you could do it, who would believe you?”

“No one would believe me, but the more of us willing to stand up and tell the truth the more plausible our story.”

“Why would I do this?” She stops pacing and sets both hands down on the table. “Why would you do this? You realize the minute they see what’s happening the guards are going to track you down. You’ll be lucky if they send you to Quarantine. All of this because your friend died?”

“No, all of this to keep from losing what little I have left.” I push up from the table and meet her gaze. “Those posts aren’t going up so the Cardinal can build us new bunkhouses. Tomorrow morning, while we’re all standing around watching the ceremony, they’re going to put up a fence running down the middle of the PIT. They’re going to separate us, women on one side, men on the other.”

Constance stares at me, her eyes blinking in rapid-fire succession while the rest of her body sits frozen at the table.

“Thomas,” she whispers and runs to the door, flinging it open and running out into the street. Her hands claw at her head while she swings her face from side to side, looking for the husband she’s about to lose.

Without a word, she marches back into the house, slams the door behind her and walks over to the bed. She pulls the corners of the blanket free from where she’s tucked them in. I follow her around the room while she collects random objects and piles them up in the middle of the blanket.

I grab her arm when she picks up the cracked bowl from their makeshift washroom and sets it on the blanket with the rest of their worldly possessions. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I have to get everything packed. As soon as Thomas gets back we have to get out of here, out to the edge where no one ever goes. We can hide there for a few days until everything is set.”

“You can’t do that. Don’t you think they’ll notice one of you living on the wrong side of the fence? You’ll have to leave the bunk for food eventually.”

“We’ll have to make it work,” she says, tying up two corners of the blanket. “One of us will have to sneak food. We’ll make do with half portions.”

“Constance—”

“Enough.” Her shout echoes around the tiny room. “I can’t lose him. I won’t.” Constance grabs my hand, walks me to the door and pushes me out. “Thank you for telling me about the fence. Your secret is safe with me, but I can’t help you.”

Constance slams the door shut and I’m left standing alone outside the home of the one person capable of making this work.

Twenty-Seven

I throw open the door of our bunkhouse. It bangs against the wall and sends dust from the ceiling floating down to coat everything in the room. I don’t care. My emotions cycled between despair and anger the whole walk back from Constance’s house and settled on anger when I reached the door.

“Hey, what gives?” Elizabeth stands in the middle of the room shaking dirt out of her dark, spiky hair.

“Where’s Daniel?”

“He went out to the courtyard to look at the setup for tomorrow’s broadcast.” Her finger points off in some vague direction and the sour expression on her face shows exactly how she still feels about our now-doomed plan. “Now, you want to tell me what’s got you all riled up?”

I storm across the room until I’m right in front of her, lifted on to my toes so I can look her in the eyes. “Riled up? I’ll tell you all about it, Elizabeth Dunstan.”

“Don’t call me that. That’s not who I am anymore.”

“No? What should I call you?” My index finger points into her chest with each word, pushing her into a fight I’m itching to have. “Coward? Quitter?”

Elizabeth’s lips transform into a thin line and her eyebrows pull down into a sharp ‘V’. I wanted a fight and now I have one. “You little…” She raises one fist, but shakes it back down. “After everything I’ve done, all the risks I took for you.”

“But when it counts the most you sit in here and pretend everything’s fine.” I grab her hands and pull them up to my chest. “They’re going to take Daniel away from us tomorrow. Don’t you care?”

“Of course, I care,” she says, pulling out of my grip and walking toward our one window. “I may not love Daniel the same way you do, but that doesn’t mean the idea of losing him doesn’t hurt me. He’s my brother more than Eric ever was.”

“You’re right, I do love him and so do you. So why won’t you fight to keep him?” I need something to throw, but we really don’t have anything. I grab a pillow off the bunk next to me and hurl it at her head.

Elizabeth grabs the pillow out of the air and swings it into my chest. “I’m fighting to keep him alive, you stupid”— pillow shot to my right side—“idiotic”—pillow shot to my left side—“little girl!” Pillow slam on top of my head. She lets the pillow fall to the floor and drops down onto a bed. “I can’t lose anyone else.”

“And what about Daniel? Don’t you care that he’s going to be all alone over there? Do you think that makes him safe?”

“No, I just—”

“He’s going to be in danger every day with no one to watch his back.” The fight is drained out of me, and I sink down onto the bed next to her. “I can almost understand why Constance doesn’t want to help me, but you have a stake—”

“What does Constance have to do with this?”

“I went to talk to her. I thought if she knew what was going to happen she might be willing to help. If she and Thomas would tell their stories, that would make four of us. It’s not a lot, but it might be enough.”

“She said no?”

I shake my head. “She thinks they can hide out and stay together.”

“It won’t work. The guards will find them.”

“Of course they will. But she doesn’t get that.” I kneel down in front of Elizabeth, ready to play the last card I have. My voice is barely more than a whisper. “She’s never seen how far the guards are willing to go.”

“Don’t go there.”

“Why not? Do you think you’re the only one who cared about Molly? Do you think her sacrifice didn’t touch all of us?”

Elizabeth stands up, pushing past me, but I’m not ready to give up yet. “It was dark that night, but not so dark I didn’t see what she did. That guard was going to club you. Molly ran out from our hiding spot on a broken leg and blocked you.”

“She shouldn’t have done that.” Her voice is gravelly, but her back is to me so I can’t see her face.

“Maybe not, but she did.” I walk up behind her, my hand raised, but I stop myself from resting it on her shoulder. “She stood up so the rest of us could escape. She had to know the odds of getting out were against us with all those guards, but that didn’t stop her from giving everything she could to give us a chance.”

“I can’t.”

I’ve never heard Elizabeth admit defeat to anything and I’m not about to let her start now. “You can’t, or you won’t?”

Elizabeth turns to face me, a hardness behind her eyes. “I have to go.”

“Elizabeth, wait.” My words don’t slow her down. She’s out the door before I can even try to stop her.

This is what I get for trying to take control of my world for once, everything falling apart around me. I sit down at the table and wait. There’s nothing left for me to do. I still don’t know what I’m going to say tomorrow, but I don’t think it matters anymore. I don’t know how I ever expected this to work. And now I’ve wasted my last few days with Daniel and alienated the one person that could have helped me after the fence goes up.

The door squeaks open and startles me out of my sulk. Daniel is back from checking out the broadcast setup.

“Good, you’re here.” He lifts up the mattress from one of the bunks and takes out the Noteboard and video camera. “I want to run these out to the stinky-mattress building during dinner. Most people will be in the dining hall and the workers should be on break so it should be clear.”

“I don’t think we should go.”

“Do you think it will be safer at night?” Daniel sets the equipment on the table and sits down with me. “I’m worried that with everything going down tomorrow, they might have extra guards out tonight to protect the broadcast area from vandalism.”

“No, I don’t think tonight is a better plan. I don’t think anyone should be asking my opinion and we’re both crazy for thinking this will work.” I get up from the table and walk to a bed so I don’t have to look him in the eye. “I don’t think we should go at all.”

“Hey,” he says, following me to the bed. “Want to tell me what crushed your soul?”

“Elizabeth hates me and stormed out of here, because all I have is some half-thought-out plan that will probably end up as a great big disaster and just might get us killed. Not to mention Constance thinks the whole thing is crazy without even the slimmest chance of success and I’m beginning to agree with her.” I tell him about Constance’s plan to hide out until after the fence goes up. I grab his hands, hoping to absorb some of his strength. “Maybe that’s what we should do, too.”

Daniel squeezes my hand and brushes a curl out of my face. “Is that really what you think we should do?”

“I wish you would stop asking my opinion. Haven’t I made it clear that I make horrible decisions on my own? Honestly, do you really think this is going to work, because nothing else I’ve done has? I told Eric how I really felt and it made him turn us in to the guards. Then I come up with this crazy plan that’s going to get us both killed.”

“I don’t see it that way. You told Eric the truth. He made a bad decision all by himself. And that’s what your plan is all about; telling the truth. Maybe it will work, maybe it won’t, but we’re doing something. Instead of sitting around and letting the Cardinal lie to everyone, you’re going to fight back. Some people will react like Eric and make bad decisions, but some people will hear you and start looking for their own truth.”

“But we both know what will happen when the guards track our signal and shut us down.”

Daniel takes my face in his hands. “We both know what might happen, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take. I’m not going to hide like I’ve done something wrong.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“You can’t lose something that’s a part of you.” Daniel tilts my face up and leans in until his lips are pressed to mine, taking my mind off all the uncertainties that tomorrow will bring.

Daniel leans back and ends the kiss too soon. As much as I’d love nothing more than to spend every minute we have left together sitting here soaking him in, we still have work to do.

Daniel grabs the camera and sticks it in his pocket before handing me the Noteboard. “I want to keep these separate just in case. You’ll need to keep that out of sight.”

“I don’t have pockets. Where am I supposed to put it?”

The smirk on his face tells me exactly where it needs to go. “I’m afraid down your dress is the only option.”

“Of course.” Nothing says high class like smuggling a Noteboard in your bodice. I turn my back to him. “I need you to undo a few buttons so I can get it down the front.”

It’s my turn to smirk as Daniel fumbles with the buttons at the back of my dress. The tips of his fingers brush down my spine sending tingles along my arms. My face is on fire, but at least he can’t see it. I shove the computer down to rest against my stomach and wait for him to redo my buttons.

Daniel finishes the last button, brushes his hands along my shoulders and places a single kiss on the back of my neck. My legs are having a hard time holding me up. I hate the PIT for letting me finally find love only to rip it away again. We have to make this work.

Daniel takes my hand and we walk out the door.

He’s right about this being the perfect time. Everyone is making their way to the dining hall and no one notices the two of us walking in the other direction. A few blocks from our bunk, the cleaned up version of the PIT fades away to reveal rundown buildings where the garbage has crept back in. It’s just a short walk to our new headquarters.

Overly loud laughter stops our silent walk only a few streets away from the stinky bunk. None of the prisoners have a reason to laugh that hard. It can only be guards or workers. Their boisterous voices get louder but there isn’t anywhere for us to hide. We don’t need a bunch of guards wondering what we’re doing out here instead of eating dinner.

Daniel shoves me up against the side of a mostly collapsed building and presses his body up against mine. His head bends sharply and he whispers, “Kiss me.”

I don’t hesitate to lift my face to his, but this isn’t like our other kisses. We press our lips together but neither of us can relax or enjoy the moment. If we get caught with this equipment the plan is ended before it even gets started.

The voices get louder and I grip the front of Daniel’s shirt like a drowning woman clinging to a life preserver. They come up along the side of us, their eyes burning holes into the side of my head. Daniel’s hands cut into my waist and his shoulders press farther into me as if he’s trying to hide me completely.

I want to yell at them, tell them to keep moving, but I bite back the words and chant
go away
over and over in my head.

A harsh voice barks, much too close for comfort. “Enjoy it while you can, trash.” They laugh, it must be half-a-dozen different voices, but no one moves to stop us. Their cackles fade with their pounding footsteps off to terrorize someone else. Daniel and I hold our pose until we’re certain we’re alone.

Daniel straightens up, but I pull him back to me. We need to keep moving, but I need a moment for him to really hold me because in his arms I can pretend everything is fine and our lives aren’t in danger. He wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on the top of my head until I stop shaking.

“Almost there, okay?”

I nod and relax my hold on him. He takes my hand again and we walk the last few blocks to the deserted building where we’ll make our last stand. Inside Daniel helps me with my dress again and we hide the camera and Noteboard behind the stack of mattresses. It’s the best we can do to keep them safe until tomorrow.

In the dining hall, most people are already done with dinner. The masses head back to their bunks or wherever else people go in the PIT to stay out of or get into trouble. I’m jealous of their ignorance. Without any idea what’s coming, tonight will be just like any other night.

I’ve checked every table, but Elizabeth isn’t here. Daniel catches me looking around for her. “I’m sure she already ate. It’s late.”

“Yeah,” I say after swallowing a mouthful of weak broth. “I guess she’s already back at the bunkhouse.”

Elizabeth isn’t back at the bunk. Daniel makes a quick check of the surrounding blocks before it gets too dark, but she isn’t anywhere nearby.

“She was really mad at me, but I never thought she wouldn’t come back.” I sit up from where my head is buried in my arms on the table top. “You don’t think something happened to her?”

“No. Not again.” I can’t tell if he’s telling me nothing happened or pleading that it didn’t. Daniel opens the door and looks out one more time in the growing darkness.

I walk up behind him, adding my eyes to the search, but there’s nothing to see. Going out to find her would be useless. She could be anywhere. “Wherever she is, I hope she knows what she’s doing.”

“Me, too.” Daniel joins me at the table and we sit silently, holding hands across the rough wood surface. There’s really only one thing to talk about and it’s the last thing I want to discuss on what could be our final night together.

The sun kisses the horizon and the darkened room is bathed in shades of red that make everything look sinister. It falls below the surface and the light in the room fades until I can’t even see Daniel’s face a few feet away.

“Tomorrow’s a big day,” he says, his chair scraping against the floor as he stands up. “We should get some sleep.” Still holding my hand, Daniel guides me toward him for a goodnight kiss.