Rites of Passage (9 page)

Kelly furrows his brow across from me.
What's wrong?

For the first time, I'm grateful we can't talk at mess. Only in the privacy of our rooms or in academic buildings are Worms allowed to speak freely. I shake my head the smallest amount.
Not now.

I jump when my recruit buddies around me start running to dump their trays. I'm not half done with my first burger but I go, too, and line up outside with the others.

Drill's not out yet, though, and my recruit buddies grab their Knowledge Books from the back pockets of their uniforms. It's what we're supposed to do when we have any spare time between orders. I've got mine out, too, but I can't focus. I keep scanning around for any sign of Matthews. Finally, after what seems like forever, Drill comes out and gives the command. “Back to the barracks, Alpha Company!”

“Drill Sergeant Stamm, yes, Drill Sergeant Stamm!”

“Forward march!”

Another cadence keeps us in step on the way back. Matthews stays in my peripheral vision, a sneer making him look more evil than usual. It's hard to remember we're both sixteen when he looks at me with such hatred. When we halt in front of the barracks and the corporals start in on their evening berating of the company, he comes right to me.

“You look a little sick, McKenna.” His lips curl up. “Need to go to sick call?”

“Corporal Matthews, no, Corporal Matthews!”

“Are you sure? God forbid I keep you from letting everyone know how weak you are. I can get someone to walk you down there, if you need help.”

“Corporal Matthews, this recruit is fine, Corporal Matthews.” Upperclassmen have gathered around to watch the showdown. I can't blink, flinch, or even shift my weight. I've got to prove I can handle this.

He takes a step back and begins yelling loud enough for everyone to hear. “All right, so there's nothing wrong. Prove it. Drop and give me twenty, McKenna. Alpha Company, count along with me!”

I'm on the ground the second the order is given and, when he finishes drawing attention to us, he drops to the ground right in front of me.

“Begin.”

Down, up, down. “One!” I yell out.

He locks his gaze on me and doesn't blink as he matches me move for move.

Down, up, down. “Two!” I refuse to break his stare.

Down, up, down. “Three!” He looks like he's not even working hard, but under the gaze of the upperclassmen, my muscles weaken quicker than usual.

Down, up, down. “Four!” I refuse to let Matthews win. I continue, while the company counts out twenty of the hardest push-ups I've ever done in my life.

When I'm finished, I jump back up and stand at attention. My face hot, I try to catch my breath. Matthews doesn't look happy. He brushes his hands off and goes over to stand next to Lyons, the second in command.

Drill moves into my line of sight and meets my eyes, the slightest smile he can manage crossing his face. I've made him proud. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from returning it. “Alpha Company! Dismissed!”

We sprint down the stairs, entering the basement door and climbing back up to the top deck, waiting silent and still for the orders of the evening. I'm not sure how I'm going to last another four hours until lights-out. The last seven days is finally catching up to me and the realization that there's an entire school year left of this crap weighs down on my shoulders.

I may have made it through the first week, but I haven't survived anything yet.

NINE

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING. HOW I COULD HAVE
possibly imagined things would get better once school started is beyond me.

My first class is Military History, where, like every other class I'm taking, I'll be surrounded by upperclassmen I'm not allowed to talk to. I may technically be a sophomore, but until I'm recognized as a cadet, I have to follow all the Worm rules. As far as I know, I'm the only transfer student here this year.

Like being a female doesn't make me enough of a target.

My heart pounds harder than it did when we met the cadre. In the computer lab, I tuck myself into the back corner ten minutes before class actually starts. I only hope the cadets can't sniff out my fear.

I log in to my school email. A message from Dad is short and to the point—as usual. He'll be heading overseas in a week. He'll be in touch again when he can. No details about where he's going or what he's doing. I'd email back asking for answers, but I know I won't get any. This does nothing to calm my nerves.

I shoot a note to my mom, telling her I'm doing fine and not to worry about Dad. I doubt she'll bother to respond, but I hope she does anyway.

An email from the commandant of cadets, Colonel Lee, lets us know that there will be a movie for recruits at the end of the month. We'll get to be at ease for two hours with the rest of the recruits instead of just hanging within Alpha Company. Oh, joy of all joys. I can't wait to sit in the dark with a bunch of smelly, stinky guys, and watch some war movie. Sounds great.

The next one is from my mysterious pen pal.

 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Warning

Sam,

I know you got my last message and I'm sure you're wondering who the hell is writing you like this. I'm an ally, I promise. You've done amazing things, but there are guys there that really don't want you to stay. If I were you, I would have left yesterday.

I get it. You're determined and you don't want to quit. Will you at least do me a favor? When you go to movie night with your company, sneak into the science building. I'll stash civilian clothes in the ceiling tiles for you. There's a coffee shop on Main Street. Meet me at ten.

If I can't convince you you're safer away from there, the least I can do is help you survive.

 

I stare at the words on the screen. Who the hell does this guy think he is? Doing what he's asking would require me to break at least three school rules. Before I can respond to say just that, though, cadets start filling in the front rows, then the back on the left side. I log out quickly, trying to blend in with the back wall.

When Matthews walks in, I sink lower in my seat. So, being in a class with random upperclassmen isn't bad enough? Now I've got to spend a semester with Matthews? He glares, tosses his bag on the floor, and sits next to another cadet in the row in front of me. When he bends down and whispers something in the other cadet's ear, they crack up laughing. After that, none of them look my way. None of them say a word to me.

This is going to be one long school year.

 

After my second class—where, thankfully, I don't know anyone—I rush to lunch. Even with walking through the gutters and squaring corners I make it before half my company. I grab a premade salad and French fries, and make my way to our assigned tables. I nod at Cross and Katie. We're not allowed to talk but it's amazing how much can be communicated through glances.

You guys okay?

Yeah. You?

Sort of.

I slide my eyes toward the library and mime eating really fast. Both girls nod and we are done with our food and within the hallowed walls of books in five minutes.

“You're better?” I ask Katie as soon as we're through the door of the library.

“I guess. I didn't want to miss the beginning of classes, you know?”

“It's good to see you,” I say, and I mean it. I'm glad whatever Matthews said to her didn't do any more damage than two days in the infirmary. That'll be bad enough to recover from.

“At least you guys have each other. It would suck if Sam had to room one floor down with the other sophomores.” Cross sets her bag down on a table and sinks into the chair.

“All recruits have to stay on the same deck. It doesn't matter what year in school we are. We've got to earn the same privileges as everyone else.” Then I nudge Cross. “But I'm glad we're all together, too. It's nice to know we've got each other's backs.”

Cross nods in agreement. “Yeah, I'm sorry about what I said in the river. I can tell they're riding you hard. I thought once you got through that you'd be fine, but Matthews making you push after mess . . . I guess he's not backing down.”

“At least we're all here now. It'll make company training a lot easier tonight.”

“About that,” Cross says. “I have to start conditioning this week for track, which means I'm not going to be around much in the evenings. I wasn't looking forward to leaving you alone on deck, so it really is a good thing you're back, Quinn.”

“Isn't it a little early for track?” Katie pulls her binder out of her backpack and starts jotting notes in her planner in different colored pens for each class she's had so far.

I raise my eyebrows, then turn to Cross. “Yeah. Isn't track a spring sport?”

She nods. “It is, but Coach doesn't want to wait until spring to introduce me to the guys. He thinks it's going to take a bit of team building to get us all on the same page and comfortable together. He might be right, but being pushed with all those guys already? I'm just learning the ropes.”

“You should try being in classes with them,” I grumble, dropping my bag to the floor and sitting down, hanging my legs over the arm of the chair.

“So your morning wasn't so hot?”

I shrug. “I guess it could have been worse, considering I was surrounded by sophomores. I mean, I could have gotten beaten up or something.” The girls laugh, and I take a second to laugh, too. Then I think of first block. “Matthews is in Military History. That class is going to suck.”

They both make sounds of sympathy, but they're freshmen and are assigned to classes with other Worms. They don't understand what being a sophomore Worm is like.

“So, there was a guy in first block who was totally checking Cross out,” Katie says, a huge smile on her face.

“Really?” It's strange to be talking about boys like we're just normal teenage girls and not taking on this huge, impossible task which will leave us no time to
be
normal teenage girls.

“Hispanic, I think. That dark brown hair and tanned skin. Yum!”

Cross shrugs it off. “I didn't notice.”

“Come on, how could you not notice?” Katie fans herself, looking at me. “I mean
hot
, Sam.”

“We're not allowed to date. You know that.” Cross and Katie trade looks and I feel my face heat up. “What?”

“You're going to follow all the rules, aren't you?” Katie grins. “You're going to be the good recruit.”

“I just want to make sure I make it through the year the right way. What's wrong with that?”

“So we can't date cadets. Technically, hottie in first block is a Worm.”

“Still off-limits,” I remind her.

Katie gives up when she sees neither Cross or I are going to talk about him. “Fine. If we aren't going to talk about how hot he is, I still think we should make a pact, just in case. If one of us likes someone, he's off-limits, okay? We can't be fighting over guys. You guys said yourselves we have to stick together.”

“It's not like it matters since we
can't
date, but I'll agree to it if it will make you happy.”

“I will, too,” Cross says. “Any guy another one of us likes, completely off-limits. And, if we're starting this, I'm calling dibs on Kelly.”

“Kelly looks like he was made for the military, like a real-life G.I. Joe or something. And his eyes. God, give me an hour alone with him, that's all I want,” Katie squeals. It would be great if she could muster that excitement for Corps activities.

I glance around to make sure no one can hear us. This is probably exactly what the people who made the rules were worried about. “I really don't think—”

“I think McKenna's got her claws in Kelly,” Katie says, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Or Drill, maybe?” she says when I don't confess to an undying love for my recruit brother.

I hold my hands up. “I have no claws in anyone.” I ignore the sudden sinking feeling I get just talking about this. Then I turn to Cross. “If you're going to break the rules and want Kelly—”

“I don't think it's a matter of me wanting him. He wants you. He follows you around like a little puppy dog,” she says.

“Well, I'm not encouraging him. He's our recruit brother, he's a
freshman
, and besides, I told you, I'm not dating anyone this year.”

“So,” Katie says, dragging the
O
out in that way people do when something is super-awkward. She picks her backpack up off the floor and slings it over one shoulder. “Cross has dibs on Kelly. I'm not jumping into anything just yet, and goody-goody Sam isn't claiming anyone. Sound about right?”

I get up slowly, an afternoon with upperclassmen not looking as bad after the last ten minutes. “We'd better get going. It wouldn't be good to be late to third block on the first day.”

Cross puts her hand on my arm, holding me back when Katie leaves. “Are you serious?”

“About what?” I hoist my backpack onto my shoulder.

“About not being interested in Kelly.”

“I'm not dating anyone. I told you.”

“Not quite the same thing, though, is it?” She drops her hand and I give her a smile.

“He's all yours, I swear. I've got enough to worry about.”

Her face lights up. “Thanks, McKenna.” She brushes past me and out the door, getting immediately into the gutter in front of me, and walking back toward the PG, a peppy spring in her step.

TEN

THE DMA CHAPEL, WORKDAY HOME OF REVEREND COOK,
is open to all cadets, 24/7. Even when Rev isn't here, there's always an adult around in case cadets need to enter. No one has rank inside the chapel, not even the cadet colonel. For recruits who haven't made it through their freshman year yet, this means two things.