Road Tripping (16 page)

They had only
been driving a little over an hour, so Ashley crossed her legs and tried to
think of something different. This only worked for about fifteen minutes.
Pretty soon, the situation was growing desperate.

“Ethan?” she
said at last.

He glanced over
toward her, raised his eyebrows at her uncomfortable expression. “What’s
wrong?”

“I think we
need to stop.”

“Why?” he
asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

“I drank too
much coffee.”

Ethan rolled
his eyes. “Can’t you hold it? We just started. We’ll never get anywhere if we
stop every hour.” His voice was impatient and a little grouchy.

“I’ve been
holding it for twenty minutes. I can’t hold it much longer.” It was very
inconvenient, but there wasn’t anything she could do about it. She had to go
the bathroom, and she had to go now. “And you don’t have to act all
superior-bladder on me. I seem to recall stopping a couple of times for you to
go. Of course, you pretended that we needed gas or something.”

“Fine. We’ll
stop as soon as we find a place. But there’s not much around here except for
pig farms. So unless you’d like to make use of a convenient tree…”

“If we don’t
find a place to stop in the next five minutes, I’ll be very happy with a tree.
The situation is fast becoming desperate.”

Two minutes
later they saw the sign for a gas station. Ashley tried not to gloat when it
was the right chain for them to use Miss Horner’s credit card.

“We can fill up
with gas while we’re here,” she said, trying not to sound too pleased with
herself. “See—it was all meant to be.”

“I’m not sure
what kind of destiny would be remotely interested in rearranging circumstances
to provide you with a bathroom break.”

He had pulled
up next the gas pump, so Ashley didn’t bother responding to his snide comment.
Instead, she just ran for the bathroom.

When she
returned a few minutes later, Ethan had just finished pumping the gas. Without
a word, he made his way inside the quick shop. Ashley noticed that, when all
was said and done, he didn’t turn up his nose at using the restroom himself.

Finally she was
provided with the opportunity she’d been waiting for.

Glancing in the
direction Ethan had retreated, Ashley pulled out the crumpled note and started
working fast. It wasn’t as hard as she’d feared, because he hadn’t ripped it
evenly, and so the edges were all very distinct. She smoothed out each piece,
fit them together, and quickly scanned over the words.

Her initial
response was almost disappointment. She had been waiting for so long to read it
that she’d built up ridiculous fantasies about what it might say. Her mind knew
that Ethan’s feelings for her weren’t what she dreamed they were, but her
stupid, silly heart still hoped for her mind to be proven wrong.

The note was
pretty much what Ethan had said it was. Explaining the situation. Forcing down
the disappointment, she read the note again. And this time, she decided maybe
there was more there than she’d initially seen.

Ashley,

I’m sorry to
leave you like this, but you’ll be safer once I’m gone. There’s no reason for
both of us to face the danger that's coming after me. I’ve left you the
remaining cash, should you need it for anything. Call your folks or the police,
whatever you think is best.

I know
you’ll be mad at me—probably never forgive me. I’m willing to live with that if
it means I’ve kept you alive. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, Jones is
more dangerous than anyone realized, and I’m not sure that I’ll make it back home.
If I don’t, please know—despite the way I've acted—that there is no one else
with whom I’d rather have spent the last week of my life.

Yours,

Ethan

After having
read it the second time, she gulped painfully and felt tears burning in her
eyes. When Ethan had written this note, he must have been sure he wouldn’t be
coming back. Which was terrifying on a number of levels—but most notably
because it meant they were both still in that kind of danger.

She read the
last sentence several times, until she had memorized it. Glancing up, she saw Ethan
making his way back to the truck, so she carefully piled the torn pieces of
paper together and stuck them in her pocket.

When Ethan got
back into the pickup truck, he was looking at her curiously. “What’s wrong?” he
asked.

“Nothing,” Ashley
lied, trying to pull herself together. “I notice you decided to make use of the
restroom facilities despite your scoffing at me.”

Ethan ignored
her jibe and studied her closely. “Ashley, what’s the matter? You’re upset
about something.”

His
perceptiveness and obvious concern were only making things worse. She felt her
chest close in. “I’m fine.” She just wasn’t ready to talk about this quite yet.
She had to get her thoughts and feelings in order.

“I wish you
wouldn’t lie to me,” Ethan said mildly, his eyes never leaving her face.

“And how many
times have you lied to me this last week?”

He pressed his
lips together and started the truck. They pulled back onto the county road in
silence.

She knew that Ethan
was still watching her out of the corner of his eye, so she closed her eyes and
put a hand up to her face in an attempt to shut him out.

It was time for
her to figure out some things.

She had thought...well,
she had thought a lot of nonsense. She’d been confused about her feelings from
the very beginning, and maybe she’d been confused about Ethan’s too.

He had rejected
her verbally the previous day. He’d said he didn’t want to hurt her feelings or
lead her on. But that might have been because he knew he was about to leave her
behind.

He hadn’t made
a single move on her, hadn’t tried to pursue anything all week. That was the
hardest to explain. But maybe it was based on something other than a lack of
interest. Maybe...

“Ashley, are
you all right?” Ethan’s low voice broke through her extended reverie. “You’ve
been so tense for the last ten minutes—you look like you’re about to explode.”

And that was
it. Ashley did explode.

“Stop!” she cried.
“Stop the car! Stop right now!”

Ethan jerked
and slammed on the brakes, veering off onto the shoulder of the road. “What’s
the matter, honey? Are you sick?”

“Just please
stop.”

The car had, by
this time, come to a complete halt. “Ashley, tell me what’s wrong.”

She fumbled
with her seatbelt until she was able to unlatch it. Then she pushed open her
door and stumbled out to stand on the side of the road. She took a few steps
off of the pavement, so that she was on the grass. Then she just waited until Ethan
came around to stand next to her.

He put his
hands on her shoulders. “Damn it, Ashley. Tell me what’s wrong.” There was
anxiety as well as frustration in his voice.

She looked at
him in front of her—handsome, clever, brave, isolated, bewildered. And loved.
Loved so deeply. Loved by her.

“Do you have
something to say to me?” She burst the question out into the stifling summer
air.

“What?”

“Do you have
something that you need to say to me?”

Ethan’s face
was totally confused. “Ashley, honey, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He sounded almost helpless.

“
That’s
what I’m talking about. What you just did, right there. You’re confusing the
hell out of me. You’ve been doing it for the whole last week. And I really
can’t handle any more. So if you have something to say, say it right now. If
you don’t, then don't act this way anymore.”

Comprehension
was starting to dawn on Ethan’s face, but it was neither joyful nor relieved.
In fact, if anything, he looked kind of sick. “What do you expect me to say to
you?”

“I don’t know.
You just need to say it. Please.”

 “I'm sorry if
I've confused you. But feelings aren’t the same as choices. And whatever my
feelings are, my choices in this are limited.” He turned away from her
slightly, as if he couldn’t bear to look at her face.

She took a step
closer and pulled him back toward her with a hand on his shoulder. “Ethan, please.
I’m asking you. Please. Because I’m already in way too deep. And I can't help
but respond to the things that you aren’t saying.”

His eyes shot
up from the ground, scanning her face for a few urgent seconds. “What do you
mean by respond?”

“I mean I’m
responding, reciprocating, having emotional reactions to your behavior.”

Something
changed on his face. “What do you want to hear?”

Ashley let out
of hoarse roar of frustration. “I want to hear the truth for once.”

Ethan rubbed a
hand over his hair, which glowed copper in the sunlight, and glared at her
impatiently. “Ashley, there is a whole range of the truth, from the easiest to
handle to the totally overwhelming. You’ve asked for it. How much of the truth
do you want to hear?”

She stared at
him dumbfounded, hardly believing that they had gotten to this point so
quickly. She had been expecting more of a battle. He was about to tell her, say
what she needed to hear. Her heart was drumming painfully, and her breath was
coming out in short gasps.

Not wanting to
completely pass out, she thought she better start with something safe. “What is
the easiest part of the truth to handle?”

Ethan’s eyes
blazed abruptly hot and hungry. And then he said in a husky voice, “All right.
This is the part of the truth that is easiest to handle. I want you so much
it’s making me crazy. I keep picturing you beneath me, moving over me, writhing
against me. When I hear your voice, I’m thinking about how it will sound
moaning with pleasure when I make you come. I keep imagining how you'll feel
when I’m inside you. I can think of almost nothing else. I’m always aroused.
Constantly dying to make you mine.”

Ashley’s mouth
dropped open stupidly. She felt a delicious heat spark somewhere between her
legs and radiate in waves from her center. Trembling a little, she whispered,
“That’s really the easiest thing to handle?”

“Lust is never
the deepest thing. Or the most important.”

“Oh,” Ashley
responded, swallowing hard. “What’s the most overwhelming part of the truth?”
When he hesitated, she added, “I want to know it all.”

He glanced away
for a moment, but then caught and held her gaze. There was something so deep in
his green eyes that Ashley immediately lost her breath. “I think I want to
spend the rest of my life with you.”

Ashley let out
an embarrassing squeak. “What?” she croaked, when her throat started to work
again.

“I said I want
to spend the rest of my—”

“Okay. I
heard.” She gulped and swayed slightly on her feet. “That’s more than I was
thinking to hear.”

Inexplicably, Ethan
started to chuckle. “I told you it was overwhelming.”

Ashley was
trying to stop shaking, but not doing a very good job of it. She peered up at Ethan’s
bemused face and inquired, “Can we find some middle ground between lust and forever?”

Ethan tilted
the corner of his lips into a half-smile. “I love you?”

“Is that a
statement or a question?” She was starting to feel her way back to solid
ground, as they went through this familiar verbal dance.

“It’s both. It’s
a statement—I do love you—but I was asking if that is a good middle ground.”

Ashley grinned
up at him, thinking that her chest might actually overflow with mushy feelings.
“That’s a perfect middle ground.”

They stared at
each other for a minute. Finally, Ethan looked a little awkward and prompted,
“Well?”

“Oh,” Ashley
said with a start. “Well, of course, I love you too.”

They stared at
each other for a little while longer. Ashley tried not to swoon on the grass
beside the empty road.

Suddenly, a
semi-truck came rushing by. The sound and whoosh of air as it passed them
startled Ashley, causing her to squeal and shy back from the road quickly.

Very
conveniently, she ended up in Ethan’s arms.

She clung to
his shirt and tilted her head up with her most enticing look.

Ethan gave her
a little smirk. “It was only a truck. I didn't think you were quite so
skittish. But maybe we should get going again. We shouldn’t be standing on the
side of the road if our pursuers happen to drive by.”

“Oh, okay,” Ashley
sighed in disappointment. Then she pressed against him even closer. “Can I
please get a kiss first?”

Ethan’s eyes
were very speaking, but he didn’t move immediately.

So she teased, “I
guess you’re afraid you won’t live up to your reputation. I don’t blame you.
I’ve experienced some really good kissers. You probably couldn’t hope to equal
the kind of kiss I got from—”

Ethan kissed
her, his lips closing over hers to silence her stream of words. After only a
moment, she opened her lips to his tongue. She reached her hands around his
neck to pull his head closer, wanting him inside of her as deeply as he could
get. After a minute of lovely play of lips, teeth, and tongues, Ashley
instinctively started to rub her pelvis against Ethan’s.

That was when
he pulled away.

“That was
pretty good,” she said, flushed and breathless and happy. “Almost the best I’ve
ever had.”

“Almost?” he
repeated, elevating his eyebrows. He was trying to act all cool and smug, but
he was panting just as much as she was.

“Almost. But
after I give you a few pointers, I’m sure you will improve your performance.
Some people need a lot of practice before they can get it right.”

Ethan growled
and yanked her toward him again. With his hands on her hips, he pressed her
middle against what she discovered was a growing erection. She released a
foolish, wordless sound of delight, and had the strong suspicion that she no
longer looked unimpressed.