Rock and Roll Country (Jesse's Girl #1) (5 page)

“Come on,” Lacey whines. “You practically live at Tony’s. What’s one more shift?” 

“You do realize this is my first night alone in over a year? I’m not giving that up for yet another shift at the bar. I’m exhausted. I’m going home, taking a bath, eating a cheap frozen meal because it’s all that I have, and going to bed.”

“Oh my God,” she growls. “You’re really going to make me give up my last night with Tag so that you can act like an old woman? Just cover my shift, Country. I’ll owe you one.” 

“I love you, Lacey, but the answer is still no. You do realize you’ve known him all of sixteen hours, right? I think you’ll survive.”

“He’s the one. I can feel it.”

“That’s what you say about every guy you sleep with,” I point out.

“Tag’s different than all of them. He’s like no man I’ve ever known before. We have a connection. It’s too real to be meaningless.”

“Mmm hmm,” I reply, skeptically. “Well, connection or not, the point is he gets on the tour bus tomorrow and you’re never seeing him again. Let it go.”

“Hater,” she quips, storming back toward our newly formed group.

Shaking my head, I give her a few steps before following behind. The truth is, I’ve covered for Lacey more times than I can count. Never once has she returned the favor. Not when Marcus had the stomach virus and was puking all over my house, not when he fell off the crappy playground equipment at the park and broke his arm. Not even the day he asked me where his daddy was, and I had to have the hardest conversation of my life, a tearful discussion on life and death and trying to find meaning in it all. As far as I’m concerned Lacey can miss out on getting laid in order for me to catch some sleep.

“Well Country needs her beauty rest,” Lacey sighs, cutting her eyes at me as I approach. “So, I guess you’ll have to ride to sound check with her so I can try to find someone else to cover me. Maybe I’ll just puke in the bathroom an hour into my shift. That’ll give me plenty of time to make it home, change, and get there in time for curtain.”

I shake my head. “If you need a ride, Tag, I’ll take you. I’m heading that way anyway.”

“Sure,” he shrugs, leaning down and giving Lacey what could very well be the most grotesque public display of affection known to mankind.

Uncomfortable with the sound of their tongues rolling into one another’s mouth, I unlock the door to my car. Smacked in the face with the breath stealing hot air, I place my key in the ignition. On the first try, I’m rewarded with a loud thud. On the second, my heaping pile of broken metal screams a sound so bone chilling my heart races, and blows heavy clouds of black smoke from under the hood.

“Fucking fantastic!” I scream, slamming my hands on the steering wheel and staring up at the sky. I blink back the hot tears building behind my lashes. “What’s next?”

“You okay?” Jesse asks, leaning over me.

His shadow blocking the glare of the sun, I turn to him. “Sorry, looks like I might not be able to give you that ride after all.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiles. “I’ll call a cab. Can we drop you off on the way?”

“I’m just a few blocks over,” I sigh. “I’ll walk. Besides, I have to make sure Kita gets home safe.”

Somber smile plastered on his face, he nods. For the first time I notice the sadness in his eyes. I’m not sure how I missed it. It’s been there all along, but now it speaks to me on a level nothing has before. It’s as though he wants to say something, but experience is holding him back. It’s the feeling I get every time I consider myself moving on with another man after TJ, the one that keeps me from being able to try.

Collecting himself, he extends his hand. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Sophie Westbrook. I can earnestly say you’ve left an imprint.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” I joke, waving my arms around the car’s cab. “My glamorous life can’t help but leave an impression.”

“It’s not your life,” he whispers, leaning in to tuck a strand of sweaty hair behind my ear. “It’s the strength with which you face it.” Stepping back, he pulls his sunglasses from his pocket. “Goodbye, Sophie.”

“Goodbye, Jesse,” I reply, sadly, unsure if the pain in my chest is the result of my own pathetic existence or if it means so much more.

“Dude, you should’ve just slipped her a backstage pass,” Tag states, adding some black eyeliner to his paste white powdered face. “That’s what I did with Lacey. Now, I’m guaranteed tonight’s lay.”

“Is that really all they are to you?” I ask, fixing the collar of my jacket.

“Well, yeah.” He shrugs. “Isn’t that what it’s like for you? We dreamed of this lifestyle for sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Now that the dream is reality, I plan to live it for as long as I can.”

“That wasn’t my dream,” I sigh, falling back on the couch and taking hold of the Xbox control.

“So, then, what drew you to music?”

“The poetry,” I shrug. “The ability to express the feelings I don’t know how to put into words without feeling as though I’m trying too hard. When I have a guitar in my hand everything I feel seems to make its way out of my body through the magical portals of my fingertips without my forcing it. It’s the only time I can be me without worrying about what the world thinks. The groupies, the booze, the comped meals, to me those are minor annoyances on the road to freedom through expression.”

“You’re such a wanker,” he replies, tossing a brush in my direction. “If girls are throwing themselves at your feet, you take advantage of that. Don’t deny your inner thirteen year old, mate. Make that fucker proud.”

“Yeah,” I sigh, thinking back to Cressida’s last words. If anyone is ashamed of me, it’s that thirteen year old Tag speaks of.

“Five minutes till curtain call guys,” Steven, our manager announces sticking his head through the dressing room door.

“Seriously, mate,” Tag begins, clapping his hand on my shoulder. “We’re gonna rock the house tonight. There’ll be broads lined up to get your autograph once we walk off that stage. Grab one of them and forget about the uptight blonde. There are plenty of other waitresses in the sea.”

Maybe so, I think, but none can compare to Sophie Westbrook.

Warm water washing over my aching limbs, I settle into the tub. So what if I’m drinking wine from a box while enjoying the waxy scent of candles purchased from the dollar isle of the grocery store? The point is, for the first time in over twelve months, I’m free to relax. It doesn’t matter that my car has apparently decided to officially blow up. Who cares that in approximately three days, the heartless prick from the electric company will once again come knocking on my door with the threat of turning off my lights? For tonight, I refuse to let any of that in. Closing my eyes, I lean my head against the inflatable bath pillow.

“We’ll have it all, Sophie. I promise. I’ll find a way to make this great for us.”

“I’m scared, TJ,” I sob, burying my head in my hands.

“I know, baby. I’m scared too, but I got this. You do whatever you have to, to keep our baby safe. I’ll figure out the rest.” Pulling me against him, he kisses my forehead and cradles my head in his hands. “I’m going to do right by you, Sophie Westbrook. You’ll see.”

Sloshing water over the tub, I jerk awake.
What time is it, and when did I fall asleep?
Cold water kissing my skin, I reach out and grab the glass of now warm wine. Taking a long sip, I gather myself. I remember stepping into the tub and shutting off the water. That’s as far as it goes. I didn’t know it was possible to be more exhausted mentally than I felt physically, but I guess I was wrong.

Rushing through the actual hygienic portion of the bathing process, I grab a towel and step onto the rug. Not bothering to blow dry my hair, I dry off and slip into my robe. Forgetting I’m alone for a slight second, I tiptoe toward the kitchen. Laughing out loud at my own ridiculousness, I grab some left over mac and cheese from the fridge.

Outside I hear the booming voice of my neighbor and our resident drug lord. Double checking the locks, I run to my bedroom, close the door, and slide under the blankets. I’m not sure how I’m going to do it, but one day I will get myself and Marcus out of this litter box.

The last thing my son will have to worry about on the way home from school is whether or not he’s safe. I’m going to make sure of it. Setting the macaroni on my nightstand, I grab my lyrics journal and my guitar. I may not know how we’re going to make our great escape, but I do know these two items are our tickets.

“Great show,” the purple haired fan says, sticking her breasts out just a little further. 

“Thanks,” I answer, dabbing at my brow with a towel once more.

“So umm,” she scoots in a little closer and runs the tips of her fingers along my neck, “what do you like, ya know, get off on when you’re not on stage?” 

Skimming my eyes over her lavender die job, diamond nose ring, and black lipstick; I smirk to myself. “Listen, I’m flattered. Really. The truth is I’m so tired I don’t think I can get off on much of anything at this point,” I lie. “I’m just counting down the minutes until my mandatory presence has been made known and I can go back to the hotel for some sleep.”

“I thought badasses like you were known for going all night,” she grins, running her hand up my thigh.

Smiling, I catch her wrist. “Common myth. Besides, you seem like a nice girl. You deserve more than one night with the likes of me.”

“What if I don’t want more?” She breathes into my ear. 

Sliding off the couch and stepping back, I stare her dead in the eyes. “The answer is no.” 

“Pussy!” She yells. 

Shaking my head, I walk over to Kraft services for a Kickstart. The being dead tired part of the story wasn’t a lie, but the truth is if it’d been Sophie Westbrook throwing herself at me I would’ve jumped in a heartbeat. Smiling at Lacey as she approaches the table, I pop the top open on my can.

“Do they always throw themselves at him like that?” She growls cutting her eyes to Tag.

“For as long as he’ll let them,” I concur. 

“Whatever,” she rolls her eyes, “this party is totally lame. If he ever pulls himself away from the groupies let him know I left.” 

“Actually, do you mind if I leave with you?” 

Snickering, she cuts her eyes at me. “I thought you had it in for Country.” 

“It’s completely platonic,” I swear. “I just need an excuse to get the hell of here, and you gave me the perfect opening.” 

“Sure.” She shrugs. “But, you’ll have to find your own way back to the hotel. I’m not going to sit there waiting on him like some lost dog.” 

“Deal.” I agree, leading her to the door. 

The thick night air doing little to help my unease, I help Lacey find her way through the backstage entrance and into the parking lot. All the while aware that these few moments might be the last I have to figure out a way to get to Sophie. Scanning the area, I take note of the stragglers and toss on my sunglasses.

“It’s after midnight,” Lacey smarts. “I don’t think you stand a chance at UV damage.” 

“It’s more for privacy than anything.” I shrug.

“Sure, because magic sunglasses make you invisible.” She laughs. “Sounds like some kind of bullshit Country would make up for the kid.” 

“What do you know about Sophie’s son?” I question, following her toward her car.

“Plenty.” She pulls her hair into a messy bun, and turns to me. “But it’s not him you’re curious about. It’s the baby daddy.” 

Leaning against the car, I laugh. “You caught me.”

“Mmm hmm.” She nods. “And for that kind of information you need to pay. Big time.”

“Name your price.”

Sly smile spread across her face, she says, “Steak N Shake. I’m starving.”

“Sounds fair enough to me,” I chuckle.

Unlocking the door, she demands. “Get in and try not to fuck up anything. I just had it detailed.”