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Authors: Pamela Des Barres
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The third tour of America was even more depraved. There was the “dog act,” in which a lovely young thing had various forms of sex with her Great Dane while members of Zeppelin cheered her on. Richard admits to frying up a pan of bacon and shoving the charred stuff into the appropriate place so the boys could watch the hungry mutt chowing down.
During a pop festival at the Singer Bowl in New York, a ravenously drunk Bonzo wearied of a Ten Years After set and paced backstage until he finally snapped. “He was very sweet, Bonzo, except when he got to a certain point in drinking and then he would turn nasty,” Richard says. “No one wanted to go near him except me. If he was drunk, the others would say ‘Leave Bonzo here!’ and I’d say ‘Fuck off! I’m not leaving ’im here!’ At least you knew where you stood with Bonzo.” On this particular afternoon Bonzo drank plenty enough to turn quite nasty, throwing a carton of orange juice all over Alvin Lee, Ten Years After’s front man, and his magic guitar, thoroughly ruining his eternal solo. For an encore, Bonzo dragged Jeff Beck’s drummer from behind his drums and took over the duties. After pounding out a stripper’s beat, Bonzo danced for the crowd, then peeled himself stark naked, and was hustled offstage by an enraged Peter Grant, narrowly avoiding the cops. Another time Bonzo saw fit to remove Chuck Berry’s drummer from behind his kit and slam-banged along with “Sweet Little Sixteen.” This time he received a compliment from the legendary Mr. Berry, who winked at Bonzo and said, “Now,
there’s
a real drummer!”
there’s
a real drummer!”
The
Hollywood club in 1969 was Thee Experience, where anything and everything went—times ten. The owner, Marshall Brevitz, enjoyed the notoriety of having the rock wunderkinds under his roof and actually encouraged Zeppelin’s wickedness. I tried not to watch as Richard Cole carried a skinny, wailing girl around upside down, his face buried in her crotch, then had abandoned sex with her on the liquor-covered tabletop while the rest of the band observed like it was no big deal. In Richard’s book,
Stairway to Heaven
, he recalls a raging night at Thee Experience. “While we were waiting for our third round of drinks, two girls volunteered to crawl under the table and perform oral sex on the band. They did it in record time.”
Hollywood club in 1969 was Thee Experience, where anything and everything went—times ten. The owner, Marshall Brevitz, enjoyed the notoriety of having the rock wunderkinds under his roof and actually encouraged Zeppelin’s wickedness. I tried not to watch as Richard Cole carried a skinny, wailing girl around upside down, his face buried in her crotch, then had abandoned sex with her on the liquor-covered tabletop while the rest of the band observed like it was no big deal. In Richard’s book,
Stairway to Heaven
, he recalls a raging night at Thee Experience. “While we were waiting for our third round of drinks, two girls volunteered to crawl under the table and perform oral sex on the band. They did it in record time.”
In August Zeppelin had somehow managed to finish recording
Led Zeppelin II
in between all the madness. Featuring “Whole Lotta Love” and Bonzo’s showcase number, “Moby Dick,”
Led Zeppelin II
came out during the band’s
fourth tour of America, knocking the Beatles and the Stones out of the number-one spot. And their first album was still in the Top Twenty.
Led Zeppelin II
in between all the madness. Featuring “Whole Lotta Love” and Bonzo’s showcase number, “Moby Dick,”
Led Zeppelin II
came out during the band’s
fourth tour of America, knocking the Beatles and the Stones out of the number-one spot. And their first album was still in the Top Twenty.
Due to Peter’s unflagging faith and ferocity, and the lads’ willingness to work ridiculously hard, Zeppelin had become one of the highest-paid rock acts in history in a very short time. It irked Jimmy Page that the critics took to calling their thunderous sound “heavy metal,” but it couldn’t be denied that Led Zeppelin had altered the course of rock and roll forever.
Jimmy, Robert, John Paul, and Bonzo all bought homes in the English countryside. Besides buying his old farmhouse, Bonzo spent a fortune on cars, acquiring eight of them, including his first Rolls-Royce, by the end of 1969. He was at his happiest riding a tractor around his property wearing overalls and a huge pair of goofy galoshes, but Bonzo had two distinctly different personalities. The right (or wrong) amount of alcohol could turn the gentle homebody into a raving, violent monster. At a chichi press reception Bonzo yanked an expensive painting off the wall and crashed it over a pontificating critic’s head. I once saw him do the same humiliating thing to a photographer friend of mine before shoving a hot steak-and-kidney pie down his pants. I also witnessed Bonzo barrel through the door of the Rainbow Bar and Grill late one night, then haul off and slug my friend Michele Myer in the jaw before being wrestled to the ground by two huge bouncers. “Bonzo liked to drink and have fun,” Richard says ruefully, “but he was a bad drunk, especially if his wife had just left and he was morose.” Didn’t all the female attention make up for it? I ask. “I don’t think Bonzo was that interested in sleeping with the girls,” Richard insists. “He just wanted the company”
While I was cavorting with Jimmy Page, Linda Alderetti was Bonzo’s constant companion. She spent a whole lot of time on the road with Bonzo and concurs with Richard. “That was a strange thing. We slept together once or twice, but it wasn’t about sex for him. He wanted someone who was savvy and good-looking, someone in the light who everybody knew.” Linda was the cashier at the Rainbow Bar and Grill, Zeppelin’s favorite Hollywood nest. One night, while waiting for Linda to get off work, Bonzo got pissed off at a good friend who was spending too much time with Linda. “By the end of the night John was choking Steve Mariott on the floor. Nobody could pull him off! Bonzo was a big, overgrown baby. I witnessed him beat up so many people. Zeppelin happened to get away with all that wild stuff because of the times. Not only did anything go—it was all covered up! The more money they made for people, the worse damage they could do. You and I got to see a side of rock and roll that will never be seen again,” Linda says intently. “The insanity the overindulgence of every whim, everything being catered to in every way—we literally lived with twenty-four-hour security to clean up the mess we left behind.”
By the fifth American tour Zeppelin were getting bored with the same old hump and bump, the interminable travel, even the crush of the countless slavish
girls. Richard was always looking for ways to keep his boys amused, once hiring several strippers to perform privately for Zep. After the girls frolicked, Richard put on a performance of his own by dressing in some of the strippers’ clothes, doing his own striptease, and having sex with one of the girls while sixty screwdrivers were ingested. “There’s nothing immoral in it,” Richard insists. “It’s just that most people wouldn’t dream of doing it. That’s the whole story of Led Zeppelin right there.” The alcohol consumption was getting ridiculous. Richard swears that, one night in Frankfurt, he, Peter, and the boys put away 280 drinks in one sitting.
girls. Richard was always looking for ways to keep his boys amused, once hiring several strippers to perform privately for Zep. After the girls frolicked, Richard put on a performance of his own by dressing in some of the strippers’ clothes, doing his own striptease, and having sex with one of the girls while sixty screwdrivers were ingested. “There’s nothing immoral in it,” Richard insists. “It’s just that most people wouldn’t dream of doing it. That’s the whole story of Led Zeppelin right there.” The alcohol consumption was getting ridiculous. Richard swears that, one night in Frankfurt, he, Peter, and the boys put away 280 drinks in one sitting.
Peter Grant was getting a reputation as a dangerous man. He had supposedly been involved with the British Mafia, and since he weighed over three hundred pounds, people tended to take him seriously. Nobody crossed him more than once. Even though some of the tales of aggro are shocking, I admired Peter’s sole devotion to his boys. He was always good to me. Sitting on his lap was one of the safest places in the world.
One night in Atlanta a couple of soldiers pointed a gun at Zeppelin, spouting off about their long hair, and Peter picked them both up off the ground, bellowing, “What’s your fucking problem, Popeye?” But ask anything about those whispered stories of broken kneecaps, and people become strangely mum. Even Richard Cole. “I knocked a guy’s kneecaps once because he wouldn’t get out from under the revolving stage. The stage would have slid forward and the gear would have fallen off and crushed people. And I knocked three guys out in a hotel corridor,” he admits. “One of them said he was Pagey’s brother and his friend went for me, so I nailed all three of ‘em. They called the police but they didn’t know the police were working for us! They gave ’em another beating and threw ’em out!” I personally saw Richard kick a guy’s teeth out when he got too close to Robert at the Rainbow. “You see someone coming over with their eyes bulging and their hands in their pockets, you’re not going to take a chance,” he explains. “If you’re wrong, you’re wrong, but if you’re right …”
In May 1970 Zeppelin holed up in an old Hampshire country house with a mobile recording studio, and a few weeks later
Led Zeppelin III
was completed. In August they were back out on the road, hitting America for the sixth time in eighteen months. Thirty-six shows in seven weeks quickly became a blur. Fans were getting more demanding and unruly. Riots were becoming commonplace. Security had to be tightened. The boys spent more and more of their time sequestered in their rooms, getting royally bombed.
Led Zeppelin III
was completed. In August they were back out on the road, hitting America for the sixth time in eighteen months. Thirty-six shows in seven weeks quickly became a blur. Fans were getting more demanding and unruly. Riots were becoming commonplace. Security had to be tightened. The boys spent more and more of their time sequestered in their rooms, getting royally bombed.
Led Zeppelin III
went gold the day it came out, but the critics brutalized the band and their fans: The lyrics were meaningless drivel hidden by hollow, deafening bravado stolen from authentic bluesmen.
Rolling Stone
actually blamed Zeppelin for the acceleration of drug use among their audience members. Jimmy Page felt he was being personally attacked and took the band directly back to the studio, where they began work on their fourth album. Once again
they used the mobile unit, staying at the country house in Hampshire, where Bonzo, dressed in his finest tweeds, would take full advantage of the local pub.
went gold the day it came out, but the critics brutalized the band and their fans: The lyrics were meaningless drivel hidden by hollow, deafening bravado stolen from authentic bluesmen.
Rolling Stone
actually blamed Zeppelin for the acceleration of drug use among their audience members. Jimmy Page felt he was being personally attacked and took the band directly back to the studio, where they began work on their fourth album. Once again
they used the mobile unit, staying at the country house in Hampshire, where Bonzo, dressed in his finest tweeds, would take full advantage of the local pub.
For the fourth album Robert dug even deeper into romantic Celtic mythology, coming up with the classic lyrics for “Stairway to Heaven” while the rest of the band ran through the newly composed music. Years later Robert recalled the moment: “I was holding a paper and pencil, and for some reason I was in a very bad mood. Then all of a sudden I was writing out words … . I just sat there and looked at the words and then I almost leaped out of my seat.” With this song Jimmy believed that Robert had come into his own as a songwriter. Today “Stairway” is the most requested song all over the world.
Zeppelin shook up the record company when they demanded that the fourth album have no group name, no title, and no Atlantic logo. Instead Jimmy had each member of the band choose his own personal symbol from his
Book of Runes.
Robert chose the sign for peace. John Paul’s represented self-confidence. Jimmy designed his own symbol, which appeared to spell “zoso,” though he maintained it wasn’t a word at all. Bonzo’s three interlocking circles represented unity, but the band insisted it must have been inspired by the Ballantine beer insignia.
Book of Runes.
Robert chose the sign for peace. John Paul’s represented self-confidence. Jimmy designed his own symbol, which appeared to spell “zoso,” though he maintained it wasn’t a word at all. Bonzo’s three interlocking circles represented unity, but the band insisted it must have been inspired by the Ballantine beer insignia.
After five months of recording, Zeppelin wanted to thank their fans by playing small clubs around the British Isles. Richard tells me that Bonzo was not on his best behavior. “Unfortunately, I broke his nose twice. The first time was in Ireland. We had to go through the war zone, and the promoter had given us all a bottle of Jameson’s Irish whiskey each! When we got to the hotel, Bonzo went to the kitchen to order some sandwiches, and the next thing we knew, our chauffeur is running for me. ‘Bonzo is in the kitchen, and the chef has a knife!’” It seems that when Bonzo had been drinking, he became headstrong and refused to take no for an answer. The fact that the kitchen had been closed for half an hour made no difference to the hungry drummer. He was closing in on the chef, who was making threats with a huge carving knife. “Bonzo wouldn’t shut up,” Richard continues. “He wouldn’t leave the kitchen, so I gave him a whack on the nose and broke it, which was a lot safer than the chef sticking a knife in him! He went up to Peter’s room and said, ‘Richard’s broken my nose! I’m leaving the band!’ and Peter says, ‘Aww, fuck off, don’t wake me up to tell me that kind of bullshit! Go to bed!’”
In the fall of 1971 Led Zeppelin were at their pinnacle. Jimmy and I had broken up by this time, but Robert sent a limo for me when Zep played the Forum, saying that he wouldn’t go on until I got there. As I climbed from the plush den-on-wheels, Robert spotted me and bounded to the stage. It was a heady feeling. By this time the members of Zeppelin were making their own rules. “The doors had to open now,” Richard said. “If they didn’t we’d break them down. And that was it. We made our own laws. If you didn’t want to fucking abide by them, don’t get involved.”
The charm of America had turned into a grind for the band, and boredom
created all sorts of tawdry scenarios. In the middle of a nostalgic fish-and-chips dinner with Bonzo, Richard was interrupted by two girls who wanted to play. When Richard and his friends retired to the bedroom, Bonzo tried to watch TV but couldn’t hear anything except orgasmic wails. “He picked up one of the girls’ shoes by the front door. ‘Let me really give her something to shout about!’ and proceeded to drop his pants … and shit in the shoe!” A lovely Led Zeppelin memento.
created all sorts of tawdry scenarios. In the middle of a nostalgic fish-and-chips dinner with Bonzo, Richard was interrupted by two girls who wanted to play. When Richard and his friends retired to the bedroom, Bonzo tried to watch TV but couldn’t hear anything except orgasmic wails. “He picked up one of the girls’ shoes by the front door. ‘Let me really give her something to shout about!’ and proceeded to drop his pants … and shit in the shoe!” A lovely Led Zeppelin memento.
Linda shakes her head, recalling the war stories. “John did not grow up with much sophistication, and he was not very bright. But he was a sweetheart with a soft, soft heart, and that was his weakness and he knew it, so he never showed that to anybody.”
The members of the band tormented one another at every turn. On a tour of Japan, after splintering their own rooms with samurai swords, Richard and Bonzo hacked through Jonesy’s door, found him comatose in bed, and dragged him into the hallway, where he woke up the next afternoon. Traveling on a Japanese train, Jimmy Page’s geisha girl of the moment was stunned to find one of Bonzo’s repulsive offerings in her purse. When the poor girl realized what had happened, Bonzo leaned over to Richard and said joyfully, “It looks like the shit hit the purse!”
The fourth album came out in November, followed by a brief tour of England. The show at Wembley Stadium featured acrobats, clowns, jugglers, and a pig bouncing up and down on a trampoline. And three hours of very loud music. “You feel your eardrums being pushed inward like sails full of wind,” ranted
Melody Maker.
“It’s painful, but it rips out an emotion common to most everyone in the hall. Excitement, and something rude, something so alive it smells … .”
Melody Maker.
“It’s painful, but it rips out an emotion common to most everyone in the hall. Excitement, and something rude, something so alive it smells … .”
While Jimmy wrote the soundtrack for Kenneth Anger’s
Lucifer Rising,
the rest of the band spent time with their families. Bonzo loved his farm and took serious pride in his car collection, which now numbered twenty-one, including a Maserati, a Jensen, and an AC Cobra. He would eventually own dozens of vehicles, one of his prizes being a Model T bread van. At his local pub, Bonzo gave
Melody
Maker’s
Chris Welch a rare peek into his down-to-earth persona, admitting he never deliberately tried to be “one of the best drummers and I don’t want to be … .” Claiming he wasn’t “more exciting than Buddy Rich,” Bonzo explained that he only played what he liked. “I’m a simple, straight-ahead drummer and I don’t pretend to be anything better than I am.” When asked about the future of Zeppelin, Bonzo announced, “We might be on top next year, or I might be back on the buildings!”
Lucifer Rising,
the rest of the band spent time with their families. Bonzo loved his farm and took serious pride in his car collection, which now numbered twenty-one, including a Maserati, a Jensen, and an AC Cobra. He would eventually own dozens of vehicles, one of his prizes being a Model T bread van. At his local pub, Bonzo gave
Melody
Maker’s
Chris Welch a rare peek into his down-to-earth persona, admitting he never deliberately tried to be “one of the best drummers and I don’t want to be … .” Claiming he wasn’t “more exciting than Buddy Rich,” Bonzo explained that he only played what he liked. “I’m a simple, straight-ahead drummer and I don’t pretend to be anything better than I am.” When asked about the future of Zeppelin, Bonzo announced, “We might be on top next year, or I might be back on the buildings!”
BOOK: Rock Bottom: Dark Moments In Music Babylon
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