Rock Chick 03 Redemption (41 page)

“You dress real y cool,” she blurted. “And I thought…

maybe, if you don’t mind, could you, maybe, um… take me shopping?”

I gaped at her again.

She went on in a rush. “I know, we barely know each other and it’s like, real y weird that I’d ask but –”

“I’d
love
that!” I cried excitedly, not thinking before the

“I’d
love
that!” I cried excitedly, not thinking before the words flew out of my mouth.

Then I thought.

Oh shit.

What was I saying?

I was leaving as soon as I could get my car. I didn’t need to become Beth’s personal shopper.

“That would be so cool!” she replied while I had a mini-flip out. She hesitated a second before she hugged me.

When she pul ed away she said, “I try, but I can’t real y get it together. I’l try something new and end up looking like a freak. I just need a little fashion direction.” Damn.

I couldn’t back out now.

And she was right, she definitely needed a little fashion direction.

“I can do that,” I said on a smile.

“Thank you,” she hugged me again. “Give me your phone, I’l program my number in it, here’s mine.” We traded phones, we traded numbers, she hugged me again, she talked to Indy, met Duke, Jet and Tex and then left, happy as a clam.

Wel , at least I didn’t feel like a bitch anymore.

That was good, right?

“What was that al about?” Indy cal ed to me after Beth left.

“Roxie tried to set Hank up with that girl,” Uncle Tex told her.

Indy, Jet and Duke stared at me like Uncle Tex told them I danced down the middle of Broadway wearing nothing but I danced down the middle of Broadway wearing nothing but Mardi Gras beads and a smile.

“I thought
you
were his girlfriend,” Duke said.

“I am and I’m not, I broke up with him,” I said.

Indy, Jet and Duke’s stares intensified.

“Why would you do a fool thing like that?” Duke exploded, sounding a lot like Uncle Tex.

“Don’t worry. He didn’t real y accept my breaking up with him. He stil thinks we’re together.”

Indy and Jet smiled at each other knowingly.

Good Grief.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on the back of the couch.

“Good fuckin’ God. These fuckin’ girls. I swear, they’re gonna kil us al ,” Duke announced and I heard him stomp away, likely into the bookshelves.

I felt the couch move on either side of me.

I opened my eyes and turned my head one way, then the other. Indy and Jet were there.

“You wanna talk?” Indy asked.

I closed my eyes again. “No.”

“We’re here,” I heard Jet say.

They sat with me for a second in silent moral support, then they both drifted away.

* * * * *

Daisy and Annette were already there. Al y arrived ten minutes after we did.

Annette and Jason had spent part of the day getting over hangovers from the Lottie Strip Club Extravaganza and part of the day mountain biking again. Annette told me that Jason opted out of The Emergency Wedding Summit to watch a bal game with Eddie at his house.

At that moment, I wished I was with them.

“Wel ?” Tod interrupted my thoughts. “You have style. You wear Jimmy Choo, Manolo and have a real pashmina. Your opinion
counts
. So, what do you think?” Tod asked, as if anyone who hadn’t gone the way of five hundred dol ar shoes didn’t have the right to an opinion. He went on, giving an inch. “Okay, I’l grant that maybe chocolate isn’t good for a wedding but we could pul off tangerine. I know we could.” His stare moved from me and turned into a glare when it settled on Indy.

“Roxie? You okay?” Annette asked, her green eyes both sharp and kind as they looked at me.

Slowly, I put my champagne glass on the coffee table and stood. “No,” I said to Annette. “No, I don’t think I’m okay.”

Annette stood too, preparing. She’d known me a long time, she knew what was coming.

“Honey –” she started.

I turned from her to Tod.

“Tod, you’re sweet but it’s Indy’s wedding. The colors are pink and ivory, she’s having a DJ, not a band, so they can play AC/DC or whatever the fuck she wants to hear. If she wants gerbera daisies, she’s going to fucking wel have them. And there wil be no teddy bears
anywhere
. You of al people know India Savage is not a teddy bear person.” Tod blinked at me then said, “Okay, girlie. Sit down, let me get you more champagne.”

“No,” I continued. “I don’t think I can sit down and I don’t want any more champagne.” I started pacing. “Oh… my….

God! Bil y’s out there,
watching
me. I was walking Shamus with Hank and he was
watching
. I was talking with Hank in his 4Runner and he was
watching
. Hank kissed me and he was fucking
watching!
”

“Honey, come here,” Annette said softly.

I ignored her.

“I tried to fix Hank up with another woman today. What was I thinking? I cannot believe I did that! I humiliated Beth.

It was bitchy, even though I didn’t mean to be bitchy, it was stil bitchy. Hank was so angry with me, he was so angry it
hurt
. Then, he wasn’t angry anymore. Just like that,
poof!
” I flicked my hands out in front of me. “He had it under control and we were like, normal again. What in
the hell
is that al about? Fighting is supposed to be out of control, ugly and brutal, where you say shit you can’t take back and behave like idiots and someone, usual y me, ends up in tears. I don’t know how to fight like that, where you just say what you have to say and get over it. I mean, what the hel is that?”

I was now shouting.

“She gets like this sometimes. You just gotta rol with it,” Annette explained to the room.

I continued to ignore her and ranted on. “Hank wants to have a conversation tonight. We had a conversation last night! I can’t have another conversation! He’l say shit that freaks me out because he’s, like, in my brain. We haven’t even known each other for two weeks! How can he be
in
my brain
? It’s
unreal
,” I yel ed.

Everyone kept silent and watched me.

“Then he’l kiss me and I’l get dizzy and won’t be able to think straight. This is too soon. It’s too much, too soon. I need to think, I need to get my life together, I need to get, the fuck, out of here.”

I started shaking and my nostrils started stinging and I knew it was coming. I couldn’t have stopped it even if I tried.

I turned to Annette as the tears fel down my cheeks.

“Nettie,” I whispered. “He’s out there and he’s
watching
me.”

Then I couldn’t see her anymore because she melted in my tears.

Arms closed around me and I heard Annette murmur in my ear. “Hush, sweetie. Hush now.”

“He’s watching me,” I repeated. “He’s watching me with Hank. I don’t want his filthy eyes on Hank.”

“Hush,” Annette said.

I wrapped my arms around her and held on tight. She held me back and only moved to stroke my hair.

After awhile, I heard her say, “Can we use your bathroom?”

“I’l show you,” Stevie said and his hands were light on

“I’l show you,” Stevie said and his hands were light on me as they guided me up the stairs.

Annette and Stevie helped me clean up my face in the bathroom. I pul ed myself together, holding Annette’s hand as Stevie wiped my face with a warm, wet washcloth.

“Feel better?” he asked, smiling encouragingly.

“No,” I told him, but I was trying to smile too.

He kissed my forehead. “You wil ,” he said and then looked me in the eyes again. “It may seem like you won’t, but you wil . I promise.”

I nodded, wanting to believe him, and, with a hand squeeze from Annette, we walked into the upstairs landing and heard Al y say, “I’m gonna talk to Lee. The minute they find that asshole, I want my turn with him in the holding room.”

“Al y,” Indy said.

“Sugar, I’m talking to Marcus
to
-night,” Daisy broke in.

“He’s gotta step his shit up. Ain’t gonna be no holding room for Bil y fucking Flynn, not if I have anything to say about it.”

“Daisy,” Indy said.

“No fucking way. I want a shot at him first. I’m gonna
kill
that motherfucker,” Al y broke in.

“Al y,” Indy said.

“No,
I’m
gonna kil him,” Daisy declared.

“Oh for God’s sake, no one’s going to kil him!” Indy said, loudly this time.

Then Stevie, Annette and I jumped as we heard glass shatter.

After a second of loaded silence Indy said, now quietly,

“Tod.”

“Seen a lot of shit in my life,” Tod said, his voice vibrating with anger. “Lived in a closet for years, hiding who I was. My parents stil don’t know. Had friends die of AIDS, had other friends beaten up in parking lots and al eys for no other reason but because of who they are. Never has that been in my living room. Never have I seen a sweet, spirited being that fucking broken. No, I think
I’m
going to kil Bil y fucking Flynn.”

This announcement was met with silence from downstairs.

I swal owed and looked at Annette and Stevie.

Then I whispered, “Am I broken?”

Stevie’s hand came to my arm. “You’ve been trying so hard to cope, girlie, that you haven’t even realized you’ve been through hel . We’ve al been watching, we’ve al been worried. No one can be strong that long. It’s good this is happening, go with it. You need it.”

“But,” I said. “I’m not strong. I’m weak.” Stevie’s brows drew together. “Why would you think that?”

“I cry al the time,” I explained.

His hand went away from my arm and he waved it between us. “Oh, wel . So does Tod and he’s the strongest person I know. You would not even believe the shit he’s been through in his life.”

I blinked at him.

He linked his arm through mine. “That’s for a different bottle of champagne. Let’s get you an outfit for Daisy’s party, hmm?”

He walked me down the stairs and I threw a glance up at Annette.

She stood at the landing staring down. When she caught my eye, she blew me a kiss.

Her eyes were fil ed with tears.

* * * * *

Her hair was teased out to three times its volume (compliments of Daisy) and she was wearing a blood red, hoop-skirted formal with black marabou feathers drifting about the bodice.

“This is
phat
. I’m like, Scarlet-fucking-O’Hara,” she announced, admiring herself in the mirrored closet door.

I looked to Jet. Jet was obviously struggling to keep her face noncommittal.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit much?” I asked.

“No… I… do… not,” Annette said. “It’s the shit.”

“I love it,” Daisy declared. “It’s you.”

It was so not Annette that somehow, in some weird way, it worked.

The doorbel rang.

I looked at my watch. It was five after nine.

“Shit!” I yel ed, jumping off the day bed. “That’s Hank.” I was wearing a day-glo yel ow, Lycra, strapless mini-dress. It wasn’t what I was going to wear to Daisy’s, that had been the first thing I tried on (picked out and then careful y packed in a garment bag by Stevie). The mini-dress was just one of the fifteen dresses I’d tried on for the hel of it.

“I have to get out of this dress,” I was in a dither.

“I’l get the door,” Stevie said.

Indy gave him a look. “I’l come with you.” I didn’t have time to worry about their look, it was nigh on time for Hank and my “conversation” and I was not ready for it.

I pul ed off the dress, hung it on a hanger, put my clothes back on, handed out hugs, blew air kisses, apologized to Tod for not helping with clean up and ran down the stairs.

Hank, Stevie and Indy were not in the living room or the kitchen. I grabbed my bag and opened the front door to check if they were outside.

They were standing halfway down the front walk. Stevie was carrying my garment bag. Indy’s arms were wrapped around her middle. Hank had one hand at his waist, the other at the back of his neck, rubbing there with his head tilted forward as he listened to Stevie saying something I couldn’t hear.

“What’s going on?” I asked, knowing exactly what was going on and walking to them.

Stevie’s back was to me. He stopped talking and turned.

“Nothing, girlie. Get home,” he said, leaning into me and he kissed my cheek.

I stared at him, not believing him for a second.

Indy gave me a hug. Stevie handed Hank the garment bag and Indy and Stevie walked into the house.

I looked to Hank. “What’s going on?” I asked.

His arm went around my shoulders. “Nothin’. Let’s go.” I planted my feet, stubborn to the last. “What did they say?” I asked.

Hank looked at me. I could see by the outside light that his eyes were soft but unsettled. “We’l talk in the 4Runner.”

“Hank.”

He pul ed me into his side. “Please Roxie, get in the car.

We’re standin’ exposed on the front walk.” I realized what he meant, nodded quickly and walked with him to the car. He opened the door for me and closed it when I got in, threw the garment bag in the backseat, rounded the hood and got in beside me.