Rocky (4 page)

“No thank you. And don't shout, you'll wake Rocky.”

“Oh, you drive me mad!” Jane was just about to slam the door shut when she had a thought. “I suppose you'll be too busy to feed Kitty in the morning because you'll be feeding your stone, won't you?”

Ruby looked blank.

“No? Why not, Ruby? Why doesn't your stone eat anything? I'll tell you why. Because it's
NOT ALIVE!
”

And then she
did
slam the door.

THERE WAS GOING
to be a church fête on Saturday. A leaflet came through the door with all the details of what was going to be there.

“Look,” said Jane. “There are lots of competitions for pets. I'm going to enter Kitty for the cuddliest kitten competition.”

Ruby stared at her. “Huh,” she said, “what about me?” She grabbed the sheet of paper from Jane.

“Silly.You haven't got a pet.”

“I have. I'm going to enter my pet rock,” said Ruby.

“You can't, it's not real.”

“I can. It is. It'll win too.”

“You can't! Mum, please don't let Ruby enter her stupid stone in the competition,” cried Jane. “Everyone will laugh. Ruby, why are you so annoying?”

“I don't know,” said Ruby. “Listen, if I
do
win, then you've got to let me share Kitty with you . . .”

“No!” said Jane.

“Just a bit. Just let me play with her a bit. That would be fair . . . if I win.”

“Oh, OK . . . but you won't win!”

“We shall see,” said Ruby mysteriously.

Jane spent hours getting Kitty ready for the competition. She brushed her black fur until it gleamed and sprinkled her with perfume so she smelled like an exotic flower. When Kitty was quite ready, Jane tied a pink ribbon around her neck.

Ruby watched and when Jane had finished, Ruby got her rock
ready. First she cleaned Rocky with soap. When it was spotless, she dried it. Then she rubbed it with olive oil until it gleamed. Next, she got a small box and painted the inside blue and green with silver squiggles. She filled the box with moss and leaves and rose petals to make a wonderful nest for her rock.
There was one small window where you could look inside and when you did peer through, it was all murky and mysterious. The rock sat amongst the petals
and leaves like a peculiar, very still, smiling toad. Ruby made a label for it:

Rocky the Marvellus Misteeriyus Rock Monsta from Planit Droppablok

“No prizes for spelling,” said Jane. “You don't think it's going to win the cuddliest kitten competition, do you? It can't.”

“We're not going to even try to win the cuddliest kitten competition,” said Ruby. “I'm not stupid.”