ROMANCE: Mason (Bad Boy Alpha Male Stepbrother Romance Boxset) (New Adult Contemporary Stepbrother Romance Collection) (20 page)

I just silenced it, letting it ring until it rolled over to voicemail. After just a moment it rang again. I answered after the sixth ring.

“Are you alright? You’re not answering your phone,” my mom said.

“I’m fine, mom,” I said. “I was just… busy.”

“How are things going?”

“Yeah… fine. You know, work’s always busy, and Argos and I…” I let my sentence trail off because I didn’t actually know what I could say about him. There was nothing left to say about it anymore. My mom waited patiently for me to keep talking, which was strange for her. And like it is with all silences, it prompted me to say more.

“Well, sometimes we just get stuck.”

And that was enough for her to get started.

“What happened? Did he do something to you?”

I rolled my eyes. “He would never hurt me, mom,” I said, and then I thought back to the kitchen that night when he’d changed and had come right up to my face. He hadn’t hurt me, but when he was on alcohol he didn’t always have control, and it wouldn’t take a lot for him to kill me. “We’re just going through a rough patch.”

“Is he drinking again?” she asked like someone had clued her in. And what was the point of hiding it anymore? I wasn’t going to do this life. Maybe I should just have admitted that she’d been right all along and gotten over it.

“Yes,” I finally said and my voice sounded far away.

She sighed like it was her burden. “I’m so sorry. I hoped for your sake this would never happen again.”

“You’re not going to gloat? Sympathy isn’t your strong suit mom,” I said. I knew I was being rude, but it was true.

“I resent that,” she said. “I may not agree with your choices, but I still love you and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

I wanted to say something to that, something that would make this frustration inside of me die down. But I didn’t have something I could say to that. Nothing appropriate. Because she was my mom, and even though I’d been fighting her my whole life, she’d still been a part of who I’d become.

“It’s just hard,” I finally said.

“I know sweetheart. You just have to remember that no matter what you’re going through, marriage doesn’t have to forever. Not if it’s killing you inside. No one said you had to promise your life away if it meant that you couldn’t get to keep a part of yourself.”

I frowned and tried to make sense of what she was saying. Not the advice, even though it was very nice, but the fact that she was actually
being
nice. It was what I needed, and strangely she was coming through for me. I could count on my fingers how many times that had happened in my life.

“Thanks Mom,” I said and for once I really meant it. I ended the conversation and switched off my phone. I didn’t want to be found.

I sat alone in the park, staring at the children playing, wondering how I ended up where I was. How did a relationship with a man that I loved so much become so ugly? If it weren’t for the alcohol I would have stayed with him forever. But the alcohol was bigger than I was willing to face.

The sun set slowly, splashing the sky with oranges and reds before the light sank behind the horizon and drained the world until it became shades of gray. The children went home, and it wasn’t long before I was alone.

“Rachel,” a woman spoke behind me, and when I looked over my shoulder it was Candra. She looked like she fit in with the cold colors of the night. Her dark hair was long and straight down her back and she wore all black clothes. The only color in her monochromatic look was the bright blue of her eyes, almost glowing in the night.

When she saw that the park was empty, she kneeled in front of me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, because she wouldn’t show me that kind of respect unless something really was up.

“Argos is loose. It’s his wolf.” She swallowed hard. “Wolfgrimm is back, and the pack needs a leader.”

The alpha’s mate is the alpha’s second, which means that if the alpha is out of action for any reason, she takes over the role until order is restored. She was treating me like the alpha.

Fear clutched at me.

“Please get up,” I said. “I’m not your alpha.”

She glanced up at me, making eye contact only for two seconds before looking down, and she didn’t get up.

“You are leader, now, Alpha, until we retrieve him. Please, we need your help. The pack is losing control.”

Someone was going to have to take care of this mess. And Argos was my husband, and he was drunk on whiskey, I was sure of it. Whiskey was his poison, the one drink that let his wolf loose and buried the man inside. I stood up and Candra rose to her feet. I walked to my car, and she climbed into the passenger side without a word.

When I got back home the front door was open. There were wolves standing on the porch, and when I approached, they ducked their heads and looked down. They stood to the side so I could pass. I felt their power in the air, stronger than before.

More wolves were in my living room. The entire inner circle, by the looks of it, and a lot of male wolves that were lower down in pack hierarchy. They all showed respect to me, standing in a circle around me. These wolves were looking to me now for leadership.

“What’s happened?” I asked.

“He’s gone. He’s a wolf, and he’s headed for the city.” It was Roy who had spoken. I could feel the pack’s discomfort. It was like I was plugged into each of them individually, and I could somehow tell what they were feeling.

“We will follow you,” Candra spoke up, standing behind me. I turned and looked at her. “We need to stop him. He’s going to blacken the names of wolves everywhere, and we can’t risk the lives of innocents because of his problems.”

I didn’t care so much about werewolves’ name among the humans at that point. I’d just about had it with people sharing skins with animals. But we couldn’t lose the lives of humans. And the pack was looking up to me. The power that coursed through my veins was incredible, something I’d never felt before.

I looked around the circle, making eye contact with each of the wolves one by one, and I could feel them in my head.

“We will go out and get him,” I said. “We’ve done it before, we can do it again.” I didn’t need to tell them that I was terrified. I was sure they knew. What I didn’t want them to know was that the first time I’d gone out to get him, before we’d been married, I hadn’t understood what wolves were capable of. I hadn’t known his strength and what it meant for the pack.

I had been ignorant, and I’d been stupid. I didn’t know if I had the power now to do the same thing, because I understood. Because I knew what he was and what he was capable of.

I took a deep breath and braced myself for what I was about to tell them next. They had the right to know, no matter how well it went down.

“After this is done, after we get him back, I’m leaving him.”

I felt a ripple through the back and soft murmurs rose up, but no one challenged me on it.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I said, feeling like I needed to justify myself. “When he was willing to fight it, so was I. But I’m not willing to be trampled by the bully that comes out when he drinks. And if he’s not going to fix it, I’m not going to stay.”

I wanted to tell them that I realized I was leaving them behind, that I knew that it would cripple the pack for a while, but none of them were challenging me, so I kept my mouth shut.

If anything they would understand what it
felt
like to share a life with an alcoholic. They were just as connected to him as I was.

“Let’s go,” I said, relieved that they’d kept quiet during my speech. The moment I called them to action the power in the air changed. It crackled with energy, building in the air around me until it was so thick I couldn’t breathe.

Candra walked next to me. She wasn’t the second or the third, in fact she was the fifth. But the pack was allowing the breech of hierarchy for some reason.

“Where is he?” I asked. They would know where he was. I could feel their power, sense their bonds, but it was only because they were around me and I was in the middle of it all. I was still just a human, and I couldn’t find Argos the way they could.

“He’s in the woods, close to the lake,” Roy said. “He’s waiting for something, but I don’t know what.”

Candra nodded, and started stripping of her clothes. I turned my head away, but then I noticed more wolves were doing it. I ducked my head and didn’t know where to look. I guessed that if they changed often it cost a lot in clothes if they didn’t do something like get undressed.

The wolves one by one dropped around me, curling, and screams mixed with growls. It was a sight to behold, wolves stretching out of human flesh, fur taking over, and monstrous nightmares all over my living room floor until suddenly the slipped into their wolf shapes.

Candra’s wolf was pitch black with the same color eyes as her human. The other wolves all looked familiar but I wouldn’t have been able to tell who was who if I had to point them out.

Candra walked next to me, pushing her head under my hand. I scratched her behind the ear because I didn’t know what else to do. She looked back at the rest of the back, and at least fifteen wolves were around me, ready to follow me out.

I walked out the door and the wolves jumped off the porch and on to the grass. They ran into the street, slipping into the darkness until I was almost completely alone again. Candra’s wolf went to stand by my car, waiting for me. I unlocked and opened for her, and she hopped in. We would drive.

I gathered the other wolves would meet us there.

Chapter 7

I parked between the trees at the edge of the forest, where the inky darkness of the night turned into the ominous black that held more. I took a deep breath and got out. Candra’s wolf jumped out on my side, not waiting for me to walk around and open for her.

She trotted into the trees straight away, and I followed her had a light jog. I was heaving and sweating within minutes, and struggling to keep up.

The other wolves would be somewhere between the trees as well, but I couldn’t see very far. My night vision was dismal and the trees were dense, so close to each other it was almost like the darkness got caught between the trunks like fog.

Somewhere a wolf howled, and I felt the magic crawl across my skin like it was alive. I shuddered and rubbed my arms, trying to get rid of the sensation. Candra howled an answer, an eerie tone ripping out of her throat, and then she disappeared into the trees.

Great. I was suddenly alone, and I was pretty sure I was lost as well. I took a deep breath and focused on staying calm. I was just lost between the trees, wrapped in darkness, with a handful of werewolves somewhere around me. And Argos, the most dangerous one of them all.

It wasn’t a big deal.

I started in the direction Candra had disappeared, weaving through the trees. I was careful not to trip over the undergrowth, but it still caught my feet every now and then.

Another howl pierced the air. It slithered over my skin like fur. I heard branches snapping and I spun around, facing the direction it came from. My heart beat in my throat. I was aware of how alone I was, and that I couldn’t really defend myself. I was just a human, and I wasn’t just knee-deep in the monster world, I was drowning in it.

What was I doing? Where did I ever believe I could deal with a man, a wolf, like Argos?  Even when everything was perfectly fine between us, being the mate of an alpha, being part of a werewolf pack, was ridiculous. I suddenly saw my life from the outside, like I was a stranger looking in, and I felt like an idiot.

I wasn’t cut out for this job. I couldn’t do it. Self-pity washed over me and I stomped on through the trees, feeling sorry for myself and the miserable life that had gotten me lost between the trees, hunting my own husband. A laugh bubbled up in my throat when I thought about it like that, and I was convinced. I’ve gone crazy.

I usually tried not to entertain my mother’s opinions that I’d made a mistake. But every now and then it crept up on me, and I let it. Had I made a mistake? Lately it looked like it.

I looked up, trying to see the moon between the branches. The canopy of leaves was so dense I could only see pinpricks of light. I knew that it was one more night before full moon. I was relieved, the pack still had some measure of control, and Argos wouldn’t be a complete mess.

At least, I hoped he wouldn’t.

I heard another branch snap, and then I saw two blue orbs floating in the darkness, before Candra appeared between the trees. She held her head low, and fear crept over me. As a wolf she looked menacing. I knew she wouldn’t harm me, logically it wouldn’t make sense. By my body reacted the way prey reacted to a predator.

She came to a standstill right in front of me and pushed her nose in my hand, licking me with a warm tongue. Whatever she was trying to say to me, or show me, it was good. She wasn’t the enemy. I felt the tension bleed out of me again and felt stupid for reacting that way.

“Have you found him?” I asked. She shook herself out. That could either have been a no, or she was just shaking herself out. As if dealing with werewolves wasn’t bad enough when they were people. I was completely out of my depth. In the four years I’ve been married to Argos I’ve had very little to do with pack business. I knew nothing about their wolves.

And I had to change that if I wanted to be a proper leader.

I shook my head. What was I thinking? I wanted to
leave
Argos. Thinking about how to be a better leader was the wrong direction. I had to start thinking about how to make it work without him.

A hole opened up in my chest like a void, and I suddenly struggled to breathe. It was easy to say I was going to leave Argos, but to actually do it?

I pressed my hand against my chest where it hurt the most.

Another howl sounded, and it was much closer. Candra pricked her ears, listening. She didn’t answer, instead she became restless and paced around. Something was happening and I couldn’t ask what it was.

I was so frustrated.

As if she read my mind, or maybe she smelled my emotion, she lay down on the ground, and started changing. I’d never seen the change in reverse before.

It looked just as excruciating, and it was nearly just as gruesome. Her body contorted and it was a mix of skin and fur, like someone had chucked them in a pot together and stirred. Her muzzle withdrew and for a moment her face looked evil, but then a shiver traveled through her body and it was over. Candra lay in front of me on the floor in human form, naked.

I turned my face away, feeling like I was invading her privacy, but she stood up and walked to me, completely comfortable being naked.

“Do you want my coat?” I asked. She looked at me for a moment and then nodded. I shrugged out of it and gave it to her. She pulled it tight around herself, and I got the idea she was doing it for me, not for her. She seemed very comfortable in her own skin.

“He’s coming, isn’t he?” I asked her. I could feel it in the air, the restless darkness, the magic on my skin and in my hair like dew. The howls that came closer.

“We’re trying to get the pack to drive him away from the city. He’s not working with us, he’s bad.”

“He had whiskey,” I offered. Candra nodded, and I knew she understood. The worst thing for Argos to have was whiskey.

“It’s my fault,” I said again when she didn’t say anything else. “I pushed him because I was sick of it, and he drank it to rub it in my face.”

“His drinking problem isn’t your fault,” Candra said. Her voice was hard and cold but it was strangely reassuring. She turned her head, listening into the night. I couldn’t hear anything, but with her sharpened hearing I knew I she could pick something up.

“Get ready,” she said.

“For what?” I asked, suddenly panicking. I was cold without my coat, and I wasn’t ready for this. I didn’t know what to do with a handful of wolves and a man that had lost himself.

“They’re coming.”

Her words were barely out of her mouth when I heard branches crack and small yips. Branches snapped and I felt the earth tremble lightly under my feet. The wolves were running, and they were coming this way. I glanced at Candra, but she looked calm, although her eyes were trained on the trees and her hand drummed lightly against her thigh to the rhythm of something I couldn’t hear.

Suddenly three wolves broke out of the trees and jumped past us, turning around when they were behind me. More wolves appeared, forming a half moon behind me. It was like they were forming a barrier.

Argos suddenly jumped out of the trees. His eyes were a blazing yellow, shining in the night, and saliva dripped from his open muzzle. I noticed his teeth, sharp and gleaming even though there was no moonlight to reflect from it. The wolf was panting and heaving, like he’d been running for a long time.

More wolves came out of the trees, and stood behind Argos. When I glanced around, I noticed they’d formed a circle around us. One Argos couldn’t escape from. And I couldn’t either.

“Talk to him,” Candra said softly. Argos’s wolf looked at her when she spoke, but he turned his attention to me the moment she stopped.

“I don’t know what to say,” I said, and my hands were trembling. I put them flat against my thighs to stop my body from betraying me and showing fear.

Even though every wolf could smell it.

“You’re not helping,” Candra hissed. “You smell like a snack, an invitation.”

“I’m not doing it on purpose,” I said, and my voice was thin and high. Argos’s glared at me, and I wasn’t sure how much of the man was inside, if he even recognized me at all. I was his mate, but that meant nothing if he was so far gone he just didn’t know me anymore.

I fought against every instinct to run, to cower and cover myself. There was so much power all around me I was struggling to think straight. I did what I knew with my brain to do.

I kneeled down, and pulled my hair back, exposing my neck. I was submitting to Argos, because I was too damn scared to challenge him, and it didn’t seem like a good idea anyway.

Silence fell across the pack, and I heard Candra breathe in sharply. Even I was holding my breath. I had my eyes turned down, but I saw him through my peripheral vision. He was motionless, quiet and still, and that worried me. He looked like he wanted to pounce.

And then he did. He moved so quickly I hadn’t seen it coming. He shouldered me and I gasped. He’d knocked the air out of me and I lay gasping on the ground. He stood over me, his paws on my chest, his muzzle right in my face and he snarled, lips curled back. I didn’t look away now. If this was a matter of life and death, by God I was going to challenge him.

I looked straight into his eyes. The yellow scared me. It was ugly and lifeless. There was nothing but death in them. But I didn’t look away. I was dimly aware of the wolves around us, squirming. Candra stood some distance away and I knew she didn’t know what to do. If any of them interfered now I’d be dead.

I reached my hands up and grabbed two hands full of fur. I was pretty sure I was going to die, but I had to do something. I couldn’t just look death in the face and wait for it to come.

Argos growled deep in my throat. I lay under him, and like an animal I pulled back my own lips and made a low grumbling sound at the back of my throat as close to a growl as I could get. It didn’t sound menacing at all, just like a human being stupid, but Argos’s jerked his head back a little.

He looked unsure. On a wolf it was almost comical. Maybe if he wasn’t thinking about ripping my throat out, I would laugh.

I was in a bad position. Even with my challenge, I wasn’t strong enough to do anything with my hands on his neck, and if he decided to fight me I would lose. There wasn’t much of a question.

He growled at me again, and I was terrified.

“Stop it,” I said, trying to sound as tough as I could. It didn’t sound very tough at all, but I wasn’t going to go out without a fight. I scrunched up my face like children do when they’re pretending to be animals. I was doing what I’d seen the wolves do. I was sure it didn’t really have the same visual effect, but I was damn well going to try, and I was going to make sure that my body language was simple enough for an animal to understand.

Argos hesitated.

“Back off, Argos,” I said again, my voice sounding better now. I wasn’t dead yet, so I could give it another go. Argos snapped his jaw right in front of my face twice.

“I know you’re a big bad wolf. But you’re endangering the pack. You’re just making it worse.” I put as much force into my voice as I could. I knew he understood me. “Back. Off.”

I let go of the fur around his neck to show him he was free to move, although he could have done anything he wanted to, and it was arrogant of me to give order when I was the one pinned on the floor. The one thing I know, and that was what I’d held onto, is that the werewolf game is about pride and dominance, courage. The wolf that has the most of it is the strongest.

Argos let up, and back away from me. His eyes were still yellow, but they weren’t glowing anymore. He looked around the pack. The other wolves were just staring. Candra looked at me like she’d never seen me before.

When I looked at Argos again he was writhing on the floor, making horrible sounds that Candra hadn’t made during her change.

Finally he was in human form, naked and vulnerable, and I noticed how much smaller he was.

“Help me,” I said to Candra, and she obeyed immediately. I went to Argos and started helping him up. He was weak, weaker than I’ve ever seen him, and is eyes were closed. Suddenly three more men were around me. No one wore clothes and I was feeling a little uncomfortable with all the exposed skin, but it looked like I was the only one that cared.

We got Argos in the car, and then back home in bed.

“Thank you,” Candra said after Argos was tucked in and most of the pack had left.

“No,” I said. “Thank you. The pack followed me because of you.”

She shook her head. “The pack followed you because you led them.”

She backed away, still facing me, until she was at the door before she turned around and left. I walked to the bedroom. Argos was curled up under the covers, asleep.

My phone rang and I walked out of the room to answer it. It was my mother.

“How are you holding up?” she asked. I glanced toward the bedroom door.

“We’re okay,” I said, and for the first time in a while I wasn’t lying to her.

“Do you need a place to stay?” she asked. I pulled a face that I was glad she couldn’t see.

“What?”

“When you leave Argos, where are you going to stay?”

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger.

“Can we not talk about this now?” I asked.