Romance: Western Mail Order Bride "Bethany's Love"-Clean Christian Historical Romance (Western Mail Order Bride Short Shorties Series) (136 page)

Chapter 7

That night she had nightmares as the past came tumbling back into her unconscious mind.  She knew she would have to tell Todd that she was damaged goods.  She would have to tell him everything. There would be no half-telling of this story.

It was sad, and it wasn’t something she wanted to relive right now.  But when she closed her eyes the images and memories of the past floated by. Some were swift, while others took the slow and painful slide into her mind.  Clara didn’t have a choice but to confront the memories today.

When she woke up she didn’t feel any better.  Trying to take the worry off of her own shoulders, she turned her head to the sky and asked for God’s assistance.  After her prayer she made her way to the kitchen.

Clara really did love cooking.  It had helped her many times in the past to forget things that had happened.  Today though, she knew the memories would have to be told.  However, the cooking could still help her feel better about herself!

She got into the kitchen and her mind went into another world.  She sliced up some potatoes, cooked some bacon, and made some homemade buckwheat pancakes.  She had looked and found all the ingredients she needed when Samuel had shown her the pantry.

Clara smiled and hummed as she cooked.  Amazing Grace was the hymn that she was humming when Sally walked in a little later.

“Oh wow it smells absolutely amazing!” Sally smiled.

“I love to cook; it’s always been something I’ve thrived at!” Clara stated.

“I think Todd will love this food. I know I will.  You cooked a ton of it!” Sally laughed at the pile of pancakes stacked high on a plate.

“Well I just hope everyone enjoys it.” 

Sally helped Clara take the meal to the table.  Todd was just coming in and sat down. 

“It looks amazing and smells simply delicious,” he said, smiling. Todd said grace and they all dug in. 

“How did you get it to taste this delicious?” Sally turned to her and asked.

“I just added some ingredients that you had in the pantry.”

Todd was eating, no words coming from his mouth.  He sat back after devouring half the stack of pancakes.  “I didn’t mean to make a pig out of myself, but that was so good!  I’m glad Mother asked you to cook.  Nothing against your cooking, Mother!”  He laughed.

“Thank you very much,” Clara said.

Todd went to stand up and leave. “Clara why don’t you let my mother and Samuel handle the dishes and come with me.  We have a few things to talk about.”

Clara stood up and followed him out the door.  She almost balked and didn’t go, but she knew she had to do it.

He didn’t ask her about it right away. Instead, he walked out to the field and began working on the fence.  Clara wondered if he expected her to just tell him.

“Okay, so tell me what the deal is with you not wanting to go back home,” Todd said.

Clara sighed deeply and looked at the ground, the tears threatening to escape down her cheeks already.  She had promised herself that she would try not to cry when she told him.

“It’s true that I have some secrets, but they may not be what you think.  My husband was not a nice man, but I stuck with him because of my marriage vows.  He liked to gamble, drink, and sometimes he hit me.  I suffered through it for years, and then when he finally died, he hurt me one more time.  He left me buried in debt due to his gambling obsession.  I took the money that your mother sent and paid off the debt collector.  I might have had to go to jail if I hadn’t used that money, or worse yet he was going to sell me.  I know I sold myself to you, or rather your mother, but it’s different.  This man was talking about selling me to many men to make his money. So I have many reasons not to go back.  The memories are still there in that state and I didn’t have any money to pay you back.  I was so happy when I got your letter. I thought my life was going to be better.  I thought God had finally answered all of my prayers.  He had given me a God-fearing man and let me get away from the place where so many bad things had happened.  That’s it, really. I have no more secrets to tell you.”  Clara wiped the tears that were coming down her face.  She turned from him; she didn’t want him looking at her when she was like this.

“I’m very sorry that you had to deal with a husband like that.  You know I wasn’t going to ask you for the money that my mother paid you, right?” Todd asked.

“No. Why wouldn’t you want it back? It was quite a bit of money.  I wouldn’t feel right not paying it back if I had to leave.  But I really don’t want to leave.  You could find me another man if you don’t want me.  Please just don’t make me go back there.  That Mr. Jones is an evil man. He might seek me out and do horrible things.  I know he would have rather kept me and sold me to different men.  You know he told me before I left that he didn’t believe in God.  I swear for an instant I thought he was the Devil himself sitting across from me,” Clara stated.

“Sounds like you’ve had your fill of evil men, between your late husband and this Mr. Jones,” Todd stated.

Clara shook her head in agreement. “Yes, I have.”

He looked at her and didn’t say anything else.  Clara felt like she should just start walking back to South Carolina. He didn’t want her here.  She hung her head and wished that her life would stay good for just a little bit.

“I need to finish up this fence if I can. Do you mind finding your way back to the house?  If not you can wait, but honestly, you’ll get pretty hot out here as the day goes on,” Todd stated.

Clara walked away slowly, not saying a word to Todd before she left.  She didn’t pay attention to where she was going. Instead, she allowed her sadness to overwhelm her mind.

Chapter 8

Todd felt bad for her after he heard her story.  He didn’t know what to do.  He found her attractive, but he still felt as if she was his mother’s choice.  “Because she was her choice,” he said out loud.

He knew that he couldn’t let the fact that he felt bad for her convince him to marry her.  That wouldn’t be a good basis for any marriage.  He may have waited until he was older to marry, and he wanted to make sure he did it right.

Todd shivered at the thought of what she must have felt all those years ago when she married her late husband.  How had she felt the first time he did something wrong to her?  It made him angry at the man who had hurt her.

His work was long and tedious; it gave him plenty of time to think about Clara and what he wanted to do.  He let the hot sun beat down on him all day long, but there was no idea of what to do with Ms. Clara Wilson when he headed back to the ranch house.

“Where’s Clara?” his mother asked him as he walked into the house.

“What do you mean?  She left a while back to walk back to the house.  I asked her if she knew the way.”  Todd shook his head; he should have taken the time out and walked her back.

“She’s not been back since you left this morning with her.”  Sally stood wringing her hands in a nervous motion.

“I’ll go look for her, but I have no clue where to begin.  Ask Samuel if he can help me look, please,” Todd said as he walked out the door.  “I’ll start in the north field and work my way out there.  Have him start somewhere else, I don’t know where.”  He ran out.  He was flustered and worried about her.  There were dangerous creatures in Arizona. Some, if not all, she had no clue about.

His anxiety was high. He didn’t want anything to happen to her.  He beat himself up about not walking her back to the house.  Todd knew very little about tracking, but enough that he should be able to trace her steps if he found them. He went back to the spot he had been working on in the field, where they had talked.  Todd thought of all the evil she had seen in the world. He wanted to protect her from it.  Now, at his first test, he had failed miserably.

God, if you help me find her, I promise that I will … I don’t know.  I already go to church each week and I pray as often as I can.  Well maybe not often enough, but I try.  Just please God let me find her safe and sound.  Don’t let any of the dangerous creatures attack her or sneak up on her.  If there are any hostile natives in this area please let her be invisible to them as well.  Keep Clara safe and I will try and keep my mother’s promise to her.  God, if you really did send a sign to my mother that this is the right woman for me, let me find her safe.  If I do, I will marry her, as my mother feels this is Your Will.  Amen

Todd followed her tracks as well as he could.  He didn’t want to call out to her, just in case there were natives around.  It was getting darker by the minute and soon searching would have to be done with torches.

He hoped that they could find her before they had to do that.  “Please God let her be okay,” he asked again.  “Which way did she go?”  He looked at the ground and couldn’t find any tracks.

Immediately he wondered what he had done wrong. Was she in a hurry?  Was she being chased?  Did she see a snake, a spider, or something else?  So many images ran through his head, and all of them were bad.  He could picture her lying on the ground either dead or dying when he found her.

Coming up over the ridge of the last hill, he looked around.  In the distance he thought he saw something, someone sitting on a rock.  Or maybe it was slumped over.  He couldn’t tell if it was her or not, though.

He approached cautiously.  His heart was beating fast the whole time.  One thing he did notice was that there wasn’t much movement from whoever was sitting on the rock.

Todd had gotten close enough to the rock now to notice it was nothing.  He had sworn he had seen someone sitting there for a minute. 

He stopped and closed his eyes, trying to focus on the noises around him.  To his right he thought he heard a female’s soft crying.

Todd followed the slight nose and soon saw Clara sitting on the ground and looking around.  He ran to her.  “Are you okay?” he asked and looked her over.  “Were you bit?”

Clara looked up at him, her eyes red and bloodshot.  “Is it really you?” she asked.

“Yes, it’s me.  Here, drink some of this water. You must be dehydrated.”  He handed her the canteen and she took a big swallow. 

The liquid came right back up after she drank it down too quickly. 

“No, drink a bit slower, just a little bit.” 

She did as he said and the water stayed down. 

“Just take a few sips every now and then, you’ll be okay.  Did you get hurt?” he asked again.

“I twisted my ankle on the rocks.”  She lifted her dress up slightly so he could see how swollen the ankle was.

“I think you might have actually broken it, but that will be up to the doc to figure out.  You can’t walk, and we can’t stay out here all night.  I’ll have to carry you, I’m sorry.”  He bent down and picked her up easily.

Clara yelped in surprise.

Todd walked home as quickly as he could.  “Mother, I found her,” he yelled out as he walked into the house.

Sally came running around the corner and into the room.  “Oh my goodness, is she okay?” she asked Todd, who was just setting her down in the chair.

“I think she broke her ankle, or twisted it.  I’m not sure. We’ll have to get the doc.  Is Samuel back from looking yet?” he asked.

“Not yet,” she answered.

“Well I have to get the doc, then.  If it’s broke we can’t let it go for long.”  Todd headed out the door and came back a short time later with another man.

Clara looked up at him and smiled wanly.

“Well, let me look here.”  The man bent down and looked at the ankle.  “Does this hurt here?”  He pushed on a swollen part of her ankle. 

She yelped loudly. “Yes it hurts.”

“Well, the good news is that it isn’t broken, just twisted.  You should take it easy for a few days and stay off of it as much as possible,” the man explained.  He got up and left just as quickly as he had arrived.

“Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t know the way back to the house?” Todd demanded, his face full of anger.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.  I was only thinking and praying,” Clara admitted.

“Now Todd, why are you yelling at her?” his mother demanded.  “She could have been hurt very badly. We should be thankful that she is okay.”

“I am thankful she’s okay, I’m just angry that she was hurt.  I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you,” he said finally as he turned to look at Clara.

She could see the fear and worry in his eyes still.  “I’m sorry. I should have said something.  But honestly, I didn’t pay any attention.  By the time I did, I couldn’t even find my way back to where I left you,” she admitted.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said. 

“After I’m better I’ll go back to South Carolina if you want. I’m sorry that this didn’t work out,” she said finally, and the tears starting streaming down her cheeks.  She had decided that she needed to do this while she had been lost.  He hadn’t said anything about what she had told him, and she was sure he didn’t want her around.

He turned towards her quickly. “Why would you do that?” he asked.

“You didn’t say anything when I told you about my past today.  Nothing, not, okay, stay, go, not a single word.  I’m damaged goods and it takes a lot for a man to deal with that.” 

“I didn’t say anything because it’s not right to badmouth the deceased.  I could say those things if your late husband was still around, but if he was you wouldn’t be here.  If there were any way for me to meet him, he wouldn’t be standing right now.  I would show him what a real man fought like.  I would make sure he never touched you again in your life.  I was angry, and I’m still mad that you had to go through that, but I can’t do anything about you past.  What I can offer you is a future, a life with someone who isn’t going to hit you, drink, or gamble their money away,” Todd said.

Clara stared at him, not quite sure she had understood his words right.  “I’m confused,” she admitted.

He sat down beside her and took her hand.  “I was upset that Mother found you.  But she told me that God gave her a sign and pointed you out.  I prayed today when I was looking for you and asked God to help me find you.  If I found you alive, I promised that I would take the sign to my Mother, and act on it.”

“I still am not sure what you are saying.  Are you saying that you want to marry me?”  Clara asked.

“I am saying that I would like to get to know you better and possibly marry you.  I don’t want to take you to the judge right now.  I think we should know a bit more about one another.  But I don’t want you to go home.  I surely don’t want to find another man around here for you either.  You are a great cook and I would greatly miss those pancakes!  But more so, God gave my mother a sign and one to me as well.  He led me to you today, and you were okay.  Yes you have a twisted ankle, but that will heal in a short amount of time.  You’ll be fine soon enough!”  Todd smiled.

“I can’t believe it. Did you really just say that to me?”  Clara blinked her eyes and tears of happiness came to them.  She didn’t have to go back, and he wanted to get to know her better.  Honestly, she couldn’t be happier.  She had prayed a lot while she was lost.  When she had told Todd that she would go back home, it wasn’t because it had felt right.  It was because she wasn’t sure what to do.  She had felt like Gerald had made her feel many times this afternoon.  When Todd hadn’t said anything, he had acted a lot like Gerald, who would often ignore her, unless he had been beating on her or putting her down.  She wasn’t sure which treatment had been worse, but she didn’t want to experience any of them again.

Todd had made her feel that way, and she had wanted to run away and disappear into the wilderness.  When she had fallen and gotten hurt, she thought for sure she was going to die out there alone.  “He probably won’t even come to find me,” she had thought. When he had come into view it had been nice, but she thought her mind was playing tricks on her. 

“Mother, you win,” Todd said as his mother came into the room.  She was carrying a plate of food for both Clara and Todd.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I will marry Clara, not today, but perhaps in a month.  That should be enough time to get to know her and figure out whether we are compatible,” Todd explained.

“What changed your mind?” Sally asked.

“Honestly it was two things.  One, I prayed about the sign God sent you, and it felt right.  But the biggest one was how much my heart ached when I couldn’t find her.  I felt lost without her, and it wasn’t something I expected.  I don’t know if it’s love or not, but it is something I’ve never felt about any other woman in my life.  If you say God pointed you to her, I believe you, and I want to follow His Will.”

“I’m so happy. I can’t wait for my grandchildren!” Sally smiled broadly.

“Mother we haven’t even gotten married yet!” Todd laughed.

“Yes, but this next month will surely fly by!

THE END

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