Romance: Western Mail Order Bride "Bethany's Love"-Clean Christian Historical Romance (Western Mail Order Bride Short Shorties Series) (152 page)

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Chapter 1

War is a horrible thing. It rips families apart and ends lives. People don’t seem to understand the toll that it takes on the families of soldiers. The people who loved the dead lose just as much as the dead themselves. The living are not accepted into God’s kingdom. We don’t get to rest our weary heads. We are expected to trudge on, knowing that the ones we love are six feet underground, knowing that we will never get them back.

It’s a difficult thing to accept and an even more difficult thing to live with. War is terrible, but it’s even worse when it’s brothers fighting brothers. The Civil War had torn apart little towns like mine all over the country. It seemed that the only people left untouched by the war were the settlers out West. The worst part of it was that we didn’t understand what we were fighting for. The rich plantation owners all had a stake in the war because they didn’t want to lose their slaves, but the everyday normal person was ready to give up everything in order to have their sons and husbands home.

I didn’t lose my husband or my son because I was not married. My name is Sara Wright and I saw the worst atrocities of war. I left my small town in order to be a nurse on the front lines. I was present for amputations and I held boys no older than fourteen as they died in my arms. I removed bullets and I did my best to save as many as I could, but no matter how hard I worked and no matter how hard I tried, they always died. There was nothing I could do.

I had always wanted to be a nurse. When I was a little girl I would watch my father work. He was a doctor and I always loved watching him help people. He birthed babies, he healed those who were hurt and he put smiles back on their faces. I wanted to be a part of that. I thought it was beautiful and I wanted desperately to do the things that he did. I wanted to make people happy and I wanted to make them smile. I wanted to heal the sick and be there for the dying.

Women couldn’t be doctors. I always thought that rule was a bit arcane but I understood that things were the way they were and that I should do what I could, and what I could do was be a nurse. At first, my parents didn’t like the idea. Being a nurse was not considered a respectable thing for a lady to do.

Since my father was the town doctor, we were always rather wealthy and I was expected to do the things that wealthy women did. I was expected to sew and have babies, not be a nurse. The thought of a young, well off lady dirtying her hands with blood was horrifying to some people, including my mother. She would always take my hands and beg me not to pursue my education.

I loved her dearly and the idea of going against her wishes hurt me, but I knew what I had to do. I left home and went north to study under some of the most revered nurses of my time. They were wonderful, loving women with hearts of gold and I wanted desperately to be like them. I watched them save hundreds of lives and I studied everything they could teach me and soon I was helping save lives just like them. I lived with nurses until I was eighteen and finally returned home.

In the time that I was gone, my father passed away from consumption. It was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to come to terms with. I’d been incredibly close to my father, and the idea that I hadn’t been able to help him drove me mad. It made my chest ache in the worst way. I hated that I hadn’t been there to treat him in his time of need.

My mother died shortly after the war began. All of the carnage was too much for her weak heart to take and so she expired and went to heaven. I was left alone with a medical practice I was not allowed to run and a house so big I couldn’t possibly begin to take care of it myself.

I hired a few people to help me but soon all the men went to war and all the women left when their husbands didn’t return. The town’s population dwindled day by day and soon I was left alone with only a few other young women. We were scared and unsure as to what was going to happen next but we stayed as long as we could. With everyone gone, the town fell to ruin. There was no one left to tend the crops and no one left to care for the animals. When it became too much to stay we left.

I don’t know where the others went, but I went to the war zones. I went to fulfill my duty as a nurse. I just didn’t count on so much death. I never thought I’d be faced with so many patients I couldn’t help. I never expected to hold children as they died night after night. The sights and sounds that I experienced in the throes of war were apocalyptic. As I looked around at all of the death and destruction, I was sure that this was the end of the world. What else could it be?

When the war was over, we were told to go home. Everyone was. The soldiers, the generals, and the nurses. Anyone who’d played a role in this horrific war was sent back to their everyday lives as if nothing had happened. We were left to deal with the aftereffects of war on our own.

It was not until after the war that I realized all the screaming and crying of dying patients had been drilled into my brain. I heard them when I closed my eyes at night and it made me realize one very important thing.

You could never escape the horror of war.

Chapter 2

I went back to Tennessee. I went back to my home town, though there was nothing to go back to. Clayton was a ghost town. There were a few families left but they lived on the outskirts of town. Downtown was nearly empty. There was not a single business that was still up and running. Everyone had closed their stores and left the desolate town for greener pastures.

Going back to my old house was torture. The windows were still boarded up and the door was covered in moss. The inside of the house had been left largely untouched; there weren’t really any people left around to loot and steal so my house was the same way I’d left it: empty.

Walking through the halls was like coming face to face with a ghost. Everything was so damn familiar, but it was a shell of what it had been. I hated seeing all of my family’s things covered in dust and collecting grime. I wanted to make this place a home again, but I knew that would never happen. As I stared down the empty corridor, I knew that this would never be my home again.

It broke my heart, but I said goodbye to the old farm. I hated to watch it disappear and disintegrate into nothing, but I just knew this was not a place for me anymore. I needed to accept that and move on.

There was no one left in town to sell the house to so I ended up taking a few personal belongings that were worth anything and I brought them into town. My goal was to get out of Clayton on the next train. It was going to be hard to give him the family heirlooms, but I knew that if I stayed in Clayton I would wither away and die just like the town had.

On my way to the market a piece of paper floated by and stuck to my leg. It felt like some kind of sign and when I picked it up and read the ad, I knew the Lord was trying to tell me something. In big, bold letters there was an advertisement for a mail order bride. I’d heard of the concept before and while it seemed a bit appalling to me at one point, it didn’t seem so bad any more.

I started exchanging letters with the man who put out the ad and when I found out he was a doctor, I knew it was meant to be. This was going to be a way for me to make up for all of the men I couldn’t save. I was going to get out of Clayton and when I got out West, I was going to change the course of medicine. At least that’s what I thought.

The good doctor sent back enough money so that I could get on the train and go West to Montana. The ride was horrendous, but I tried to keep myself focused on the goal. Once I was in Montana everything would be better. I would finally be able to use my skills and make people well again. All I wanted in the world was to be a good nurse.

I understood that I was to be this man’s wife, but love was not at the forefront of my mind. I could be happy without love, but I needed job satisfaction. I needed to make up for all that I was not able to do in the war.

I was on that hot, stuffy train for almost a week. When I finally reached my destination, I was so relieved to stumble off the packed train car. I’d been sitting shoulder to shoulder with tired looking women for so long and the smell and heat had become unbearable. I hadn’t laid down to sleep in nearly seven nights. I was ready to collapse.

As I stumbled off the train, I wandered into a building with a tall ceiling and women walking around with glasses of water.  A beautiful red haired woman with a sash slung over her shoulder smiled at me and offered me a tin mug full of spring water.

I wanted to thank her but my mouth was too dry. I drained the cup and finally took a deep breath, offering her a shaky smile. “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

“No, no. It’s quite alright. Many people come here with dry mouths and throats. The train ride is not an easy one,” she said with a solemn nod.

“You are right about that.” I wiped my mouth and cleared my throat. “I’m not sure where I’m supposed to go.”

She smiled and set her tray down so that she could address me better. Once her tray was settled on a nearby table I could read the sash. It simply said. ‘Ambassador to Female Visitors.’ I had to assume that was a nicer way of saying she was in charge of helping the mail order brides find their husbands and homes.

“Who are you looking for?”

“Dr. Ackerman.”

Her face fell just a little and she cleared her throat. “Right…this way,” she said, leading me through the building.

We stepped onto the dusty streets and I looked around almost cautiously. Where were we? This place seemed so strange and different. It was not green like Tennessee. The hot, dry air hit me like a wall and as we began walking through town I felt something wet drip down my upper lip. I reached up to wipe away the dampness and was shocked to see bright red blood on my fingertips.

“Oh.”

My guide turned around and gasped, rushing forward and holding a handkerchief to my nose. “Oh dear! Come along. We’ll get you to the doctor. He’ll be able to tell you what to do.”

She rushed me through what looked like Main Street and into a building that was three stories tall. A little bell rang and a small child ran to greet us.

“Hello! Welcome to Dr. Ackerman’s office!”

“Hello, Johnny,” the woman said, “could you please get Dr. Ackerman for us?”

The little boy nodded and ran into the back, returning a few moments later with a tall, handsome dark haired gentleman. He was cleaning his hands and looked at me for a long moment. My heart stuttered and I swore it would beat out of my chest. Dr. Ackerman was not the elderly man I expected him to be. He was a young, vibrant gentleman with dark hair and eyes the color of honey. He was beautiful.

“Another nose bleed?” he asked in a gruff voice.

I just stood there for a long moment, watching him with wide eyes as he approached me and shooed the woman away. He gently tilted my head back and looked into my sapphire eyes.

“What’s your name, Ma’am?”

“Sara. Sara Wright.”

He smiled just a little, though it looked forced and unpracticed. “So you’re my wife. Welcome to Billings, Sara.”

Chapter 3

Dr. Ackerman. James Ackerman. I knew who he was already, but it seemed he was finding out who I was for the first time. I watched him carefully, impressed by his tenderness. Most doctors I’d worked with weren’t kind. They wanted you in and out as quickly as possible. He inspected me closely.

“Don’t worry. Nose bleeds are common. You must be from the south east.”

“Tennessee,” I murmured. “How did you know?”

“You’re used to a certain humidity level. When that humidity level drops dramatically, the capillaries in your nose burst.”

“So I have a nose bleed.”

“Precisely. Smart girl,” he sighed, setting the rag down.

I tilted my head forward, ready to catch any blood that might come, but I was happy to find that no such thing happened. I wiped my nose and sniffled a little, looking over at the doctor.

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank me. It’s my job.”

I nodded and looked down at my lap, wondering if we were going to talk about the elephant in the room. James stood up and went to wash his hands in a bowl of water. I was happy to see that he was practicing good hygiene. It was so very important and so many field doctors neglected it.

“I’m glad to see that my wife doesn’t have a weak stomach when it comes to blood. Most women seem to faint at the slightest drop of it.”

“Oh, well…it would be hard to be a nurse and be unable to handle blood,” I pointed out, tucking some blonde hair behind me ear.

A small smile tugged at his lips. “You’re a nurse? You never mentioned that in your letters.”

“It seemed unnecessary.”

“You were afraid that a man wouldn’t want to marry a woman with aspirations.”

I set my lips in a thin line, though we both knew he was right. I slid off the cool table and ran my hands over my skirt, happy to see that none of the blood had stained my dress. “Well, now that you know, will you--?”

“We’re already married,” he said simply, putting some of his instruments away. “I didn’t want to waste any time.”

“We’re married? But I didn’t sign a certificate.”

“The signatures on your letters was more than enough. I paid you and you became my wife.”

I was a little shocked that I could so easily be signed over to someone else, though I suppose it shouldn’t have come as much of a shock. I had known that things were different out here. You didn’t come out west for love and a big fancy wedding. People who went westward were typically running from something. The men came here to strike out on their own and the women came because they had no other options. It was a very distinct divide.

I nodded slowly, deciding that it was best to just accept the facts rather than argue them. James still had his back to me, putting away instruments. He seemed so distant. It was as if he were keeping me at arm’s length. After he had everything put away he turned back to me, his hands red from cleaning. I’d never seen someone wash their hands so much.

“I suppose I should show you where you’ll be living.”

He was so handsome and yet he seemed so stunted. It was as if he didn’t know how to communicate with people. It was as if he were using a script to speak. He was stiff and something about his stance told me he was a guarded man.

I nodded and followed him to a set of stairs in the back of the clinic. He took me up them and we came to the second floor which had a small cooking area. It was mostly the living area and while it was not huge, it was big enough for a small family. It would be easy enough to keep clean. Books lined shelves and I couldn’t stop myself from getting up to examine them. They were all medical books and I felt a tingle of excitement in my chest. I was thrilled that I’d have access to all of this knowledge. It had always been hard to find a collection of books like this and now I’d be living with them!

“There’s one more floor,” he said, his voice becoming even more stiff, if that was possible.

I nodded and followed him up one more flight of stairs, watching him closely. We came to the third story and I noticed that there were two doors on either side. He pointed to the one on the right.

“This is my room and this--,” he pointed to the left, “is your room.”

“We aren’t going to share a bed?”

“No.” He didn’t hesitate in his answer and made it very clear to me that this was not going to be a typical marriage. I knew that already.

I sighed and nodded, pushing the door open. My eyes widened when I saw a crib sitting across the room. My heart started pounding in my chest. I could only pray that it was an old crib or that it hadn’t been used yet. I was not even remotely ready for motherhood.

I moved across the room slowly and approached the crib. My heart dropped into my stomach when I saw a sleeping child swaddled in blankets. James didn’t say anything for a long time. Finally, he took a breath and spoke.

“This is why I sent for a wife.”