Rookie Mistake: A Sports Romance Novel (The Beasts of Baseball Book 1) (63 page)

“Did you want this one? Have it.” I turned on my heel and walked back into my office, making a bee-line back to my desk. “She’s going to win because we’re good, but it’s going to feel icky helping her do it.”

“Why is that?” He walked in and ran his hands down the front of his suit jacket before slipping them into his pockets. His casual stare screamed, ‘you love me… you know you do,’ and I couldn’t help but chuckle a little each time I saw him. He had no clue how much most of us couldn’t stand him, and yet I was a kind person. I hated turning anyone down, or God forbid, kicking out the legs on their high-horse, but this man needed it.

“Because she married the man for his money, and she deserves none of it. The cops need to be looking into cause of death. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was involved.” I gave him a cheeky grin and took my seat.

“Now you’re just being mean.” He smiled and nibbled at his bottom lip. “Hey. How about you take me up on the offer for lunch? You know I’m new here and don’t know too many people. Your denials are starting to hurt my feelings.”

“Go take one of the other women in the office. All of them are hankering to get some time with you. They’re interested in a friendship. I’m not.” I shrugged and pulled my keyboard toward me. “It’s nothing personal, Dillon. I’m damaged goods, and I like the idea of staying that way.”

Besides… you’re not Zek.

“I like damaged goods.” He pulled his hands from his pockets and pressed them to my desk as he leaned over. I’d have been a little overwhelmed if this happened in my earlier days, but now it was a moot point. I almost felt sorry for the guy. Almost. “Just come have lunch with me. It’s nothing more than a meal. We can just sit in awkward silence and eat.”

I laughed and snorted. “No. Close the door on your way out. And don’t take me the wrong way. I’m just not interested in anything right now.”

“Healing from something?” He moved back from my desk, but didn’t leave.

His eyes moved around my face like he was trying to find the key to unlock my secrets, but it wasn’t to be found.

I was confused by the failed marriage with Ben and broken by Zek’s denials. Even more than the combination of those two things, I was angry at myself for wanting to force Zek into a relationship with me. I wanted to scream in his face that I’d waited this year for him. No kisses or hugs, no one touching me, holding me, or making love to me in the darkness at night.

Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

“Lots of things, but thanks for the offer.” I looked down at my computer screen as Lizzy’s voice caught my attention.

“Hey. Can you come to my office for a few minutes when you’re done?” She smiled warmly at me before turning her attention to Dillon. “How are you holding up after your last case load?”

“Good, actually. I was just trying to get Alisa to take a break and grab a sandwich with me.” He turned his back to me and walked toward Lizzy. I’d yet to ask her what she actually thought of the guy, but I’d make a point to do it soon. Something about him gave me the creeps, but I felt sure I was being overly sensitive. No one was Zek or my brother, Clark, but I found myself comparing all guys to the standard set by the two of them.

“She’s our hardest worker. No telling her to take a break. We’re having a Christmas party later this year thanks to her efforts.” Lizzy laughed and moved back as Dillon walked out.

“If you change your mind…” His voice faded as he moved down the hall.

“I won’t.” I stood up and walked toward her as butterflies danced in my stomach. I’d had lunch with Zek’s sister-in-law at least once if not twice most weeks. She knew how much I loved him, and even helped me work through a lot of my struggles where he was concerned.

“Lunch?” She asked with a cocky grin on her lips.

I grinned back. “Yeah. I’m starving. Let me grab my purse and we’ll go to that new deli that opened up in the building across the street. I hear it’s got—”

“Hey.” Lizzy touched my arm, cutting me off. “I know you want to know how it went. You’re talking a million miles an hour. It went great. He looks good. No, he looks great. I bet he’s put on thirty pounds of muscle. His eyes aren’t dull like they were when we had to let him go, but full of hope. He’s the man I met all those years ago when I married Mark. You’re going to need to put up your guard in full force. He’s going to tear your resolve down with nothing more than a few sexy looks.”

“Shit.” I pressed my hand to my chest as tears burned my eyes. “I’ve missed him so fucking bad. I can’t even express how hard it was to not go with you guys this morning. Did he… did he ask about me?”

“Yeah. He didn’t want to be too obvious about it, so I cut him off and saved him from it, but I told him that you were doing well.” She released me and nodded toward my desk. “Get your purse and we can talk about it more over lunch. I know one thing…”

“What’s that?” I turned and walked back toward my desk.

“He missed you like crazy too.”

“How do you know?” I grabbed my purse and moved out into the hall with Lizzy.

“I just know Zek, and I could see it all over him. He was thrilled to see me and Mark, but it was you he was hoping would show up.” She gave me a sideways ‘I told you so’ glance.

“He was pretty rough with me the last time we spoke, Lizzy. You know that.” I repositioned the strap of my purse on my shoulder and waited outside of her office door as she gathered her stuff.

“He did that to make sure you went on with your life, but you haven’t.”

“I can’t.” I reached up and brushed my tears away. There had to be some point in life when a person simply couldn’t cry another tear. I was praying it was soon for me. I had cried far too many.

“Exactly.” She moved up beside me and chuckled. “You need some closure. Go over there and see if there is anything left between you two.”

“You’re evil.” I pressed the button to the elevator and turned to see Dillon walking out with one of the interns we’d just hired. I almost reminded him that the girl was in fact an intern, but kept my thoughts to myself.

Lizzy glanced over her shoulder before turning to face them. “Make sure you’re back in time for the one o’clock presentation today.”

Her comment was directed at the intern as best I could tell.

“Oh, yes, ma’am.” The girl smiled sweetly, and I cringed internally.

After dealing with Melissa Mills, Zek’s crazy intern who falsely accused him of rape, I wasn’t too sure about the younger generation. Not that all young women were crazy, but it would seem that most of them certainly knew how to play the part — any part.

Lizzy turned back to me as we moved into the elevator and rolled her eyes, not speaking again until we got out and moved away from the crowd.

“I can’t go over there.” I pushed the door open to exit the building. The warm autumn breeze blew around us, stirring up the handful of leaves that had begun to fall.

“Yes, you can. You have to. He needs to see you, and you need to figure out if this thing between you guys is worth fighting for.”

“Lizzy.”

“No. I’m serious.” She stopped and turned to me as we stood on the sidewalk. “You and Zek could possibly have a love story like mine and Mark’s. I’m telling you now that if there is something that incredible waiting to be explored between you, then you have to push it. You have to. Everyone deserves a chance at the kind of love I have.”

“And you really think that kind of love exists for others? I’ve known this man my whole life, and I can tell you one thing for sure. Love isn’t the key to forever for Zek. I’ve loved him with this overbearing intensity for as long as I’ve known him, and Lizzy… it’s never been enough.”

“He’s a different man now.” She reached out and squeezed my shoulder softly. “Trust me. You go over there, and if things don’t feel the same, or even if they aren’t intensified, then leave and never look back. You’ve turned down more men than we’ve employed at Dellup this last year. You need to find out where you stand, and if there’s nothing left between you guys, then move on. You deserve a life, and that’s what Zek’s pushing you away and his willingness to let you go was all about.”

“I didn’t want to be let go.” Tears swam in my vision and I growled angrily. “I’m tired of crying and wishing that the days would just pass by quickly. I want to live my life to the fullest, but every time I try to define what that would look like, all I can see is him. It’s frustrating. I hate it.”

“Then you have your answer, Alisa. Stop dancing around the kindling with a match and pull out a fucking blow torch. If he’s your man, then go get him. Don’t take no for an answer. Got it?” She touched the side of my face and smiled. “Take what belongs to you, and don’t let it go. Ever.”

I nodded. She was right, and my fear would have to take a back seat. I’d find a way to see Zek that night. He had to know how I felt, and I would use any means necessary to open him up. I needed to know where I stood with him, and if he thought there was any chance at all for us. Even the slight margin for a relationship was more than enough. I just needed to find the one thing I’d lost.

Hope.

CHAPTER 3

e

Zek

I
took a quick shower and got a hold of myself by the time Ronald showed back up with the pizza. After helping him get a few groceries into the house, I took the seat across from him at the table and grabbed a couple of slices.

“I think more than any fine dining food, I missed this the most.” I took a big bite and stifled a groan at how delicious the mixture of cheese and meats were.

“I know that’s right. I could eat pizza most days of the week, but I try not to. It’s hell trying to get a large deep dish off of you in the gym.” He chuckled and picked up his beer. “So let’s get the rules and all that stuff out of the way and we can move on to you getting back into as much of your life as you’re allowed to enjoy.”

“I’d like that.” I picked up a napkin and wiped my mouth before sitting back and nursing my beer. “First, tell me if I can have visitors and what the constraints are.”

“You’re not married or engaged from what I can see in the file. Do you have a girlfriend?” He took another large bite and watched me.

“No. I have a few friends and some close family I’d love to see on a regular basis, and of course my attorney will want to come by from time to time, but no lady love.” I sat the beer down and tried not to let my thoughts move onto Alisa. They always seemed to be primed to do just that.

“The lawyer is able to visit as he or she wishes, as long as it’s not excessive. They charge you every damn time they come anyway. You don’t need anything from them unless you have another trial pending or if settlement arrangements are being made.” He shrugged. “However, that’s up to you as far as legal counsel visits are concerned. There’s no one allowed over between eight p.m. and eight a.m.. That’s why I was asking about the girlfriend.”

I wanted to flinch, but I held it inside. The twelve hours the sun was down shouldn’t have been a big issue, but another year with no sex and I might actually go mad. Needing a woman in my life wasn’t just about wanting companionship, but about the desire to feel someone pressed against me. I’d always had a healthy sex life, and the last year had left me desperate to get that part back.

It didn’t seem like that would be a possibility, but some part of me knew that coming out of prison. Life wasn’t just going to start up the same way I left it. Time was going to play a huge factor in the steps I took. Each would have to be a building block, but needing sex would drive me to make that a priority.

I couldn’t imagine taking another woman to my bed, but the chances of Alisa being willing to let me near her seemed slim, and yet I was overreacting. I was good at that.

“So, I’m sure your legal counsel explained a little bit about house arrest before you went into prison, but let me reiterate that you’re able to go out of the house for groceries, doctor visits, court appointments and a leisurely outing from time to time with my accompaniment. I’ll not be here all the time, but when I’m not, you’re restricted to the house.” He finished his pizza and got up, walking into the kitchen. “The anklet they require you to wear is tracked on my phone and down at the station should they need to find you. I’m the only one watching most of the time. It’s part of the job.”

I nodded and reached for the thin black bracelet he handed to me. “This just slip on and clip? Anything else I should know about it?”

“It will beep loudly if you’re out of range from where you should be. The house is good, the property is good, but anything around the property line that I haven’t cleared with the app will cause the warning sound, and then it will flash up at the police station and they’ll dispatch someone to come find you. You don’t want that. It’s a one-way ticket back to the pen. We’ll give you a few warnings, but then—”

“I’m good. Honestly.” I lifted my hand and offered him a smile. “I’m a CEO that made one shitty decision. I promise. I’m happy being in the house and out of jail. I’ll serve this year just like I’m supposed to. Nothing to worry about.”

He chuckled and dropped back down into his seat as I worked to get the anklet on.

“I’ve heard something similar to that more times than I can count. You think you’re fine until you start to go stir crazy. It’s usually worse with guys like yourself because you’re used to being busy and in the middle of some kind of chaos. Here at the house, it’ll be quiet and yet the world is just outside the door.”

“But unreachable.” I picked up my beer. “I’ll have to learn a new trade and start a new career. I’ll spend this next year reading up on something of interest and turn a buck on it when I’m done.”

“Smart man.” He ran his hand over his head. “If you somehow fall in love, and you need time with your girl… we’ll work things out. I’m here to make sure you stick to the rules, but some of them are a little more iffy than others.”

I nodded. “I appreciate that. I’m not sure a girl’s part of the plan, though I’d love for one to be.”

“Hard times with the ladies?” He smirked and nodded. “I know that situation far too well in my own life.”