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But he moved me to stand in front of him. “When did he start kissing you?”

“What?”

“Freddie,” he repeated. “When did he start kissing you?”

“I… I don’t know,” I shook my head trying to remember. “A few days ago? A week. I thought you knew—”

“I didn’t,” he interrupted. “And I don’t like it. I don’t want him kissing you. Not like that.”

“I’m sorry,” I snapped, ignoring the painful clench in my stomach as I said the words. “But you don’t get to make such demands.”

His jaw tightened and he turned to walk away. I hurried after him. “Beau,” I pleaded, catching his arm. “It doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“It does to me.”

I stopped and let him walk on. But when he reached the back door, he didn’t go through it. He stood there facing the wall.

“Don’t our plans, the things we’ve been saying, matter to you?”

I rushed forward and pulled him to face me. “Of course they do,” I said. “But I still have to think of Teeny and protecting our future. We have to have a safety net.”

He frowned. “I’ll be your safety net. I’ll take care of you. Just give me a little time.”

“How much time?” I said, my voice sharp. “You’ve been saying that for weeks, but still you can barely support yourself!”

The words were out before I could stop them, and a sick misery rushed in to fill their place. But my anger wouldn’t let me take them back. My life hadn’t changed, and if we were going to be together, he had to accept the facts. That I’d do whatever it took to get us out of this place.

Still, I saw in his eyes I’d hurt him, and that hurt me.

“I’m sorry I’ve wasted your precious time,” he said, pushing through the door before I could speak again.

“Beau,” I called, but it was too late. He was gone, and I walked slowly to my tiny room, aching with the pain of his words and my response. Teeny was there, but it didn't comfort me. I went to our small bed and curled up on it, hugging my knees as the tears fell.

I didn’t see Beau at all the next day, and during the finale that evening, we were back to avoiding each other. The pain was almost too much after our week of bliss, but I pressed all those emotions into a tight little pill that I forced myself to swallow and be done with.

It was for the best, I told myself. It was never real, and it could never be real. Beau couldn’t take care of us, and if I kept going down that road, it would be too painful to come back. Not to mention I’d ruin everything I’d been working so hard for these last several months. Our beautiful future life, our security with Freddie.

Beau took my hand to help me onto the seat, and when I glanced up our eyes met. His were red-rimmed like mine and my breath caught. He looked away as the music grew louder, and I swung out over the crowd. One glance back, and his eyes were still on me, his hands still holding the rope.

I descended slowly to the stage in a swirl of peacock blue and feathers singing all the words to the “Illusion” finale. Frank led me in a circular waltz as the lyrics told the story of a cat who was so enchanted by a beautiful bird, he gave up everything, including his life, all for something that could never be.

I wondered if Roland had written the words prophetically as I sang the lyrics and strutted in the lights, sparkling every time I moved until I took my final spin and ended with my arms raised over my head in a
V
, my head turned to the side, eyes closed in my nightly expression of rapture. As always, we remained frozen on our marks until the heavy curtain fell, sending a swirl of musty velvet all around us. It never changed.

Through the darkness in the wings, I found Teeny’s hand. It was the first time she’d waited for me in weeks, and it felt good to lead her back to our room. Like she was still little and bad things hadn’t begun creeping in on us, closer with every passing day.

“Does Freddie know about your birthday tomorrow?” she asked once we were in the dressing room.

“No,” I sighed, trying to dispel any lingering feelings for Beau as I removed the peacock costume and reached for my dressing gown. I had just enough time to peel off my false eyelashes before the tapping started. I stood and went to the door, but this time, there were no roses.

“Darling,” Freddie smiled and caught my waist, pulling me to him and kissing me without warning. Teeny let out a surprised squeak, and I didn’t have to pretend. I was equally bewildered by his flagrant disregard for propriety.

“Why, Freddie!” I cried when he released me.

“I’m sorry,” he grinned, tipping his hat to Teeny. “I just couldn’t wait another minute. I’ve got the most wonderful news. At least, I hope you’ll think it’s wonderful.”

Teeny made an excuse about finding
Rosa
and quickly left as Freddie reached into his jacket and produced a small box. I took it and carefully opened the lid to find a delicate gold bracelet accented all around by what looked like tiny diamonds.

“It’s too much,” I said, lifting it from the box. He quickly took it from my hands and fastened it around my wrist.

“You remember when I mentioned
engaging
matters?”

Anticipation mingled with heartbreak swirled through me. “Yes?”

“I spoke to my father about it, and he’d like to meet you.”

Dread immediately replaced all emotions. “Your father?”

Freddie lifted my hand and pulled it to his chest. “Don’t be alarmed, darling. He simply wants to verify what I’ve already told him.”

“Which is?”

“That you’re the most enchanting creature in the world,” he smiled and lifted my fingers to his mouth.

I bit my lip and glanced around. “Those are your words,” I said. “What if he doesn’t agree?”

Freddie chuckled and stepped even closer, still holding my hand. “That is exactly why he’ll agree. But forgive me, I haven’t asked how
you
felt about the whole thing.”

I forced a smile. “What whole thing?”

He pulled me into his embrace and breathed into the hair at my temple. “Having me as a suitor. As a
fiancé
?”

A knot closed in my throat. The pain of my fight with Beau and our resulting distance was still so fresh, I wasn’t sure I could be convincing in my answer. But I determined to push it all down again and hold it down before my runaway emotions ruined everything.

I slipped out of Freddie’s arms and turned away, stepping over to my dressing table. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

He closed the distance between us quickly, clutching my upper arms in his hands. I felt the heat of his body at my back. “It’s what I’ve dreamed of for almost a year now. Even more in these last few weeks.”

I clenched my eyes shut, fighting the pain of what was coming and what it would mean. “When is your father expecting to meet me?”

“Tomorrow at lunch? I was thinking of that same little place as last time.” He released my arms with a final squeeze and walked back toward the door. “That’s sort of where it all began. At least, that’s when I felt certain at last. Of your feelings.”

The lightness of his voice was in direct opposition to the feelings in my chest, but I inhaled a sobering breath and turned, crossing the room to where he stood. And for the first time, I took his hand and lifted it.

“It would be an honor to think of you as a suitor. And whatever else you might decide.”

He smiled and traced a line along my cheek. “So beautiful,” he murmured. Then he leaned forward and lightly kissed my lips before turning to go. I watched him disappear through the door and leaned my head against the frame, holding back tears.

Teeny returned looking sorrowful. “Oh, Hale.”

“What?” I sniffed and lifted my chin.

“Freddie’s going to propose, and you’re going to say yes.”

“What did you expect?”

I went to my table and sat, reaching for the pot and massaging cold cream into my skin. I grabbed a tissue to wipe it away along with the dampness that had sneaked out of my eyes. I would not cry.

“But you love Beau.”

Our eyes met in the mirror and for a moment it was only us. The two of us looking into the face of my decision.

I looked away again. “That doesn’t matter. This is about our future and taking care of us. And anyway, I’d expect you to be happy about it.”

She rushed over and leaned on the dressing table to face me. “So you’ve started to love Freddie a little? Is that it?”

I looked straight into her eyes and thought about her and about my answer. “Yes,” I lied. “Something like that.”

She stood straight and frowned, shaking her head. “I don’t believe you. And I don’t… I don’t understand you!”

“None of that matters. You just have to trust me.”

* * *

My throat was tight with fear as we approached the small restaurant off
Royal Street
. Freddie’s father was sure to ask all sorts of questions I didn’t know the answers to, and once again, our fate hinged on my ability to perform. 

“You can’t hide where you live forever,” Freddie smiled after picking me up in front of the theater. “I’ll have to ask for your hand at some point, and then it will all be out.”

I bit my lip and looked in a shop window as we made our way down the street. “Gavin’s the one you’ll have to ask. And the theater is his home.”

“Ah, yes. I suppose he is your guardian now that your family’s gone,” Freddie concurred. “I do wish he’d been available to join us.”

I silently agreed. It would’ve been nice to have a buffer who knew my fake history, too. But I hadn’t seen Gavin since the night I sneaked out with Beau, and I wasn’t sure if his seeing me out meant I was in trouble or not. I might have a promise, but Gavin had always kept a close watch on me. And I’d always done my best to avoid crossing him. Images of that night with Beau came pressing in on me, but with painful determination, I shoved them back out again.

“After lunch, I wonder if you might accompany me to buy a new hat,” Freddie said. “I’m sure you’ll find it dreadfully boring, but there’s a wonderful gray one I saw at Philippe’s in the Quarter. I’d like your opinion of it.”

“Of course,” I said, distracted.

We were at the restaurant, and Freddie held the door as I entered. A tall gentleman with smooth gray hair and a familiar cleft in his chin rose from one of the tables in the back. His face was like a stone, and for a moment, I was unsure whether to proceed.

Freddie placed his hand on my lower back, and I made my way across the mosaic tiles to where his father waited. As I walked, the old man evaluated me with stern eyes the same color as his son’s, and I felt a familiar bead of perspiration tickle down the line in the center of my back, stopping where Freddie’s hand now rested. His father did not smile as I drew closer and his gaze never broke until I was standing before him. My hand
trembled
when he lifted it to his lips.

“Freddie said you were very charming.” His voice was still stern, but I saw something flicker across his eyes. “He wasn’t exaggerating.”

He smiled and lowered my hand. I started to breathe again, and Freddie laughed.

“I told you, Father.”

He pulled out my chair and I sat, but I wasn’t sure I was out of the woods yet. The elder Lovel was kind, but he was also cautious with his only son and heir.

“Freddie tells me you lost your parents,” he said, once the waiter was gone.

“Yes, sir,” I answered. I didn’t say more in the hopes that he might do most of the talking, or at least say what Freddie had told him.

He shook his head and spoke in a grave voice. “The war was a difficult time for everyone. Some gave more than others.”

I bowed my head and studied my gloved hands in my lap. “It is hard to think of those days. I’m very lucky it all ended before I can remember.”

“Still, to lose one’s entire family,” he continued, studying me. “Exactly what part of
France
were they from? With such an olive complexion, I would guess the south.”

I tensed, but I continued to play ignorant. It allowed the least opportunity for getting caught in a lie.

“I don’t know, exactly,” I answered. “Once they left, very little was revealed to me.”

“Hm...” Mr. Lovel lifted his coffee cup and took a sip. “I’m not familiar with the surname Ferrer.”

I reached for my coffee cup as well, until Freddie spoke.

“Father, will you ever save your coffee for dessert? Forgive him, my dear. I’ve ordered a nice wine that should be here any moment.”

I kept my hand moving past my cup to the glass of water beside it. “Your father has earned the privilege of doing as he pleases. And he is very kind.”

“If we at least knew something of your family,” Mr. Lovel murmured. “For the sake of the children, I mean.”

“Father,” Freddie seemed embarrassed. “We haven’t quite gotten that far.”

“Oh, come now,” Mr. Lovel groused.