Rouge (26 page)

“What if I’d done something,” my voice broke, “truly sinful?”

He stopped and put the pencil down then. His blue eyes looked directly into mine. “When?”

I glanced around trying to think of an answer that wasn’t a lie. “I can’t say.”

He didn’t flinch. “Why did you do it?”

The image of Guy’s cruel grin and Teeny’s whimpers as she sat on the bed flashed in my mind. “I had no choice.”

All the tension of my dreaded task was back, pressing hard on my shoulders. His calm reaction to the secrets I’d been keeping had almost made me forget, but now everything was back, my plans and my unwillingness to bring him into my nightmare.

A small line formed between his brows and he took my hands in his again. “Then I’d understand,” he said softly.

I stepped forward, sliding my arms around his waist and laying my head on his chest. It was what I’d wanted to do since I’d opened my eyes this morning. His arms went around me, and I listened to his heartbeat, his breathing. I inhaled his warm scent mixed with the smell of new fabrics and closed my eyes. For a moment I completely relaxed as his hand smoothed my back.

The tinny bell clanged, and I released him, watching as he walked to the front to greet the tall gentleman and help him select a hat. He was so patient. I watched and tried to imagine him following his dream of traveling, doing anything he wanted. The dream that had led him to our theater, to this place. To me. Our dreams were different but similar—both of escape. Would it be possible for us to escape together? And what would become our reality then?

“What did you do in Ascension?” I asked when we were alone again. “I mean, how did Mr. Brouillette make his money?”

He smiled and walked to where I was sitting. “Cotton. I picked cotton.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“It’s true,” he said. “And I cut and hauled sugar cane. The war left us all paupers. But I wouldn’t recommend picking cotton. The pods shred your fingers…”

I lifted his hand and inspected his fingers. They were long and slim, and I remembered wondering with Teeny if he played an instrument. I remembered them touching me and warmed. “I don’t see much damage. Except the damage I caused.”

He lifted a finger to my cheek. “I mostly did the heavy lifting.”

Another customer interrupted us, and I watched as he worked. Several hours and more men came and went. Finally he turned the card on the door and fastened the latch.

“Time to go,” he said. I helped him arrange the clothes and sweep the floor before we left for the night.

“Is this the type of work you’d like to do?” I asked as he locked the door.

“Maybe,” he said, taking my hand and slipping it through his crooked elbow. “I was thinking about moving around some more, but I could do whatever I needed to do.”

We walked down the cobbled streets, the sun was hidden behind the buildings and the smoky gas lights were being lit.

“What would you want to do more than anything?” I asked.

“Oh, working in the theater was more fun than I expected.” Then he nodded in my direction. “I’m sure it was because of you.”

I smiled up at him. “I aim to please.”

He chuckled. “But I love to travel. The riverboats would be the perfect combination. Travel, entertainment…”

“It’d be exhausting. And it wouldn’t be the same without Roland and everyone, trying to break in with a new group.”

We were approaching the theater and instinctively I hung back. The pain in my chest had begun to tighten again, the pressure on my shoulders. He stopped and turned to me.

“Come home with me,” he said. “I’ll figure out a way to get you back in the morning.”

I looked into his blue eyes and remembered that clean white room, being wrapped in his arms. Everything in me longed for the comfort and safety he promised.

“I can’t not go back. Teeny wouldn’t know what to think, and they’d worry.”

He breathed and pulled me close. I clutched his coat sleeve and thought.

“Maybe you could stay with me?”

He held me back, looking in my eyes. “But what about Teeny?”

“I think she can sleep with Evie or Rosa tonight.”

“Let me gather some things first. Is that okay?”

I nodded, and he leaned down to kiss me before he left. My eyes fluttered closed and I focused on the soft brush of his skin across mine. So gentle, yet so powerful. He was smiling as he set off toward his apartment, waving back before disappearing around the corner. I smiled and walked to the heavy metal door, pausing to place my fingertips on the scars he’d left there the night I was in danger. He was so determined to save me, he’d tried to break through a metal door. My eyes pricked, and I shook my head.

Inside, I hastened to our room and found Teeny lying on her stomach reading one of
Rosa
’s books. I walked over and sat beside her, rubbing her lower back. She didn’t look up. My rubbing turned to gentle shaking, and she dropped the book to stare at me.

“Would you mind sleeping in
Rosa
’s room tonight?” I asked.

Her eyes widened in fear. “Is he back?”

“No!” I said, quickly pulling her to me. “No. I just…”

“You want the room to yourself?” She made a pout.

I smiled and smoothed her hair back. “Just for tonight. It’s nothing to do with you.”

I stood and walked to the closet, removing the coat and hat. I slipped off my blouse and skirt and got her to untie my corset. I pulled the ever-present dressing gown over my light chemise, then I walked back to my table and began brushing my hair. In a few strokes it was silky again, and I leaned forward pinching my cheeks. I dipped my ring finger in the jar of clear jelly we used for our teeth and smoothed it over my lips.

Teeny swung her legs off the bed and sat up, watching my reflection in the mirror. “Is someone coming?”

I stopped and looked at her, trying to think of a proper excuse, but a soft tapping on the door precluded any explanation. She ope
ned it to Beau, who was smiling
and holding an iris. He chuckled and lowered it, and she turned back to me, eyes slanted.

“Don’t say anything. Please.”

She shook her head and exhaled, grabbing the book off the bed and pushing past him into the hall. I frowned at her departure, but caught Beau’s arm and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind us.

He swept me into another kiss, and I gently slid my hands up to his neck. He tasted like cool peppermint, and my fingers moved into his soft brown hair as his hands pulled my waist closer to his. I opened my mouth and let him kiss me deeper. A delicious warmth spread across my middle, making me quiver. It hadn’t been a week since our disappointing first encounter, but new doors had been opened. And my body craved his as if nothing had gone wrong.

I turned my head and lay my cheek against his shoulder, holding my arms around his neck as waves of new sensations passed through me. For several moments we stayed that way, our bodies molded together, breathing in and out, and I dreamed of spending a lifetime with him. Once again that longing tugged on me. I wanted the life he offered so badly. With a deep sigh, I released him, turning back to survey my small room, the tiny bed, the one chair.

“It’s not much different from yours. It’s just all closer together. And no view.” I motioned toward the bed. “Your feet will probably hang off the end.”

He stepped forward to sit on it, placing the iris stem beside him. “I’ll bend my knees.”

I quickly knelt to help with his boots, but he caught me and pulled me to sit beside him. “You don’t have to do that.”

I picked up the blue flower and turned it in my fingers. “I don’t mind,” I smiled, looking up at him.

His lips tightened as he pulled his boot heel, one then the other. I studied his hands. The bandages were gone, but there were still faint red marks on his knuckles.

“I said I’d wait for your answer,” he said quietly. “I’m trying.”

With my free hand I reached out and touched his cheek. “Let’s save waiting for tomorrow.”

In one swift move, he dropped the boot and pulled me to him. We lay back on the bed as our lips found each others’. My heart was flying as he unbuttoned his shirt above me. I moved my hand to touch the bare skin of his chest, and a soft groan escaped his throat. His lips moved to my cheek and then my eyelids. My skin was so warm, and his scent was all around me. His fingers lightly made their way through the folds of my dressing gown, and my hands moved to help him, unfastening the tight enclosure at my breast.

I sighed when I was finally released, and his lips quickly left mine, passed my shoulder with a brief kiss, and then he paused above me. I watched his brow crease as he spread
my
velvet gown apart and gazed at my body. He’d never done this before, and I inhaled a shaky breath as I leaned up to slide my arms out of the long sleeves.

“Same as before,” I said, lying back with a nervous laugh. He glanced up at my eyes, confused. “I mean, as before in your room. It’s all I had on then.”

“But I went too quickly then. I didn’t look before I touched.”

He hesitated, and my heart beat so hard, I thought I
might
die
. “I wish you’d touch me now.”

Instantly my wait was over. His lips found me through the thin gown, and a noise escaped my throat. The pressure
rose
in my stomach as he gathered the
delicate
fabric in his hands, up my legs, past my chest, and over my head.

“Oh, god,” I whispered as he continued kissing me. I caught his face and pulled it up to mine, hugging our bare chests together. “I can’t breathe.”

I felt him smile. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, kissing the top of my shoulder.

I slid my hands around his neck, and his went around my bare waist.
Heat
traveled from the center of my stomach down to the arches of my feet, and I almost collapsed when his mouth came down over mine. Our tongues curled briefly before he moved to trace a burning path from my jaw down the side of my neck. His hands worked hastily below, removing the last of his clothing.

“Gavin told me not to get in trouble,” I whispered. “What if
I did
?”

His answer came without hesitation. “Then you’d have to marry me.”

I quickly slipped off the bed and then followed him back between the cool sheets. Another touch, another kiss, and our bodies came together. There was no pain this time, only the most wonderful release. I drifted to sleep with strong arms around me, dreaming of a future that seemed more possible somehow than before.

* * *

A rough shaking was the next thing I knew and Gavin was standing over the bed frowning at us. I sat up fast, clutching my pillow over my naked chest. Beau’s arm was around my waist, and a quick survey of our surroundings revealed his clothes scattered everywhere and the blankets on the floor.

“That’s about what I expected,” Gavin said.

Beau roused at his voice and sat up as well. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I must’ve slept longer than I intended.”

Gavin frowned as Beau stood into his breeches. He grabbed his shirt and slipped his feet into his boots. I couldn’t believe how quickly he was almost completely dressed.

“Umm… nothing happened?” Beau said, a grin in his voice.

“Get to work,” Gavin groused.

In the commotion, I’d managed to pull the blankets from the floor over my body, and looking up, I caught Beau’s eye as he backed into the hall. He winked at me, and I couldn’t stop my smile in response.

“This is probably for the best,” Gavin continued, closing my door. “He won’t want you tonight.”

I froze. “Tonight!”

In one word, fear came crashing down on me hard. All the bliss I’d enjoyed with Beau was gone.

“You agreed to do this. I told you it wasn’t what I wanted, but you insisted on doing it anyway.”

I couldn’t move as I watched him standing beside my dressing table. “But I’ll have to tell him about this. He only pays for girls who are clean.”

“It’s true,” I said in a louder voice. “Nothing happened. And I didn’t think I was for sale.”

Gavin’s eyes lit with anger. “He pays by not shutting us down,” he said, stepping to the screen at the foot of my bed. Then he glared at me. “Why are you lying?”

I shook my head.

“I can’t keep interfering to protect you.” He paced back to my dressing table. “You can save yourself tonight.”

“I’m not lying.”

He stopped and looked straight at me. “Then get out of that bed and prove it. Show me the sheets.”

I didn’t move. “What would happen if I was lying?”

He shrugged. “She would go instead.”

Fear and resentment, fury at his utter lack of compassion or moral decency caused my voice to rise. “She’s just a little girl!”

“She’s not so little. And she’s not as valuable as you are.”

My teeth clenched, and I clutched the pillow over my naked body as I got out of the bed. I threw back the covers in defiance. “I stand by what I said. I’m still clean.”