Royal Outlaw: (Royal Outlaw, Book 1) (37 page)

Mariel sunk into the mattress and, with the feeling of security that her friend’s embrace provided, she slipped into sleep.

* * *

James was gone when Mariel woke the next morning. Annoyance was the first emotion she felt because she was angry he had escaped without her notice. However, relief soon dominated irritation. She was glad he had left before anyone else came into the room and misinterpreted his presence.

In the bright light of day, her fear and weakness of the night before seemed irrational and childish. She had allowed James to stay the night in her bed, even if he had only been a companion in sleep, that did not change the fact that he had been there. And he had stayed because she had not been able to face the night alone. The awkwardness that she would have had to face waking up beside him would have been much worse than the dent in her pride that her finely honed instinct had not woken her when he left.

No mention was made of the incident again, neither by James nor Mariel. Dreyfuss discovered the serpentramel’s arrival by walking into his office to find James sitting in the archmagician’s chair with his feet propped up on Dreyfuss’s desk and a mischievous grin splitting his face. That same day he was bestowed his silver and green uniform with the royal insignia of the silver serpent embroidered on the front of the tunic and introduced to the men who he would command.

As far as Mariel knew, James did not know any of the guards other than Zeke. The black mamba, Tristan, and the two other guards who had discovered their new captain’s identity as the infamous Snaketongue, kept that knowledge quiet. Mariel was uncertain why the men did this. She was not sure if it was because they respected James, or had seen how easily he had beaten Tristan and knew his outlaw past so feared his retribution if they let his secret slip. Regardless of their motives, the men said nothing of their captain’s history.

James joined Mariel, Cara, and Hallie’s predawn exercise training. The guards were surprised and Hallie was intimidated at fighting with a man, but Cara, who was used to James, warmly welcomed his presence. Mariel was glad to have a real challenge to fight again, since her two lady’s maids were easily beaten.

When she and James launched into a sword duel, the small entourage watched in fascination and awe. Mariel lasted a long time, longer than she had since donning a full-length gown and the accompanying corset, but she still lost, which only made her try harder the following day.

Mariel had wondered if Dreyfuss had been waiting for James’s arrival before sending her to the capital, but no mention of the unavoidable journey was made. Dreyfuss remained mum to the subject.

With Cara’s prodding, Mariel began to attend temple services weekly. She did not do this out of faith, for she still adamantly refused to believe James’s claims that he had met the black vixen and not only was she real, but was the goddess Narel. Instead, she became more religious for the sake of improving her image.

She had finally come to realize that being royal was inevitable, and Dreyfuss had pointed out to her that most people thought she was incompetent. If she ever wanted to try to change the way the kingdom was run, she needed to gain the respect of her subjects. Attending temple was one ways to do that.

Mariel did not like attending temple. When she attended the temple of Valmir, she could not stop staring at the paintings of war and the statue of the full-armored god holding his two-edged sword. In the name of Valmir, the de Sharecs had found reason to be at war since they took power. Even today, Natric warred with Drema over a large stretch of land. The blood-thirst was insatiable and the lust for more power and extending borders seemed to be inherent in the de Sharec line, except for her. That was not to say she had never experienced war or battles, but she did not like them and she had no desire to try to destroy what was left of neighboring kingdoms by eating further into their lands.

Even though the idea of the war god Valmir angered Mariel, she preferred to attend his temple to that of his sister and co-patron god of Natric, Narel. As the goddess of protection and healing, her aspects were contrary to that of her brother’s and much nicer in aspect, but Mariel could not forget the black vixen who visited her.

The black vixen appeared only once in the month of November to tell Mariel that she must remember, but she vanished almost as quickly as she had appeared, claiming that her brother was watching.

December arrived, but still no mention of departure was made by Dreyfuss. Mariel sat in the front bench of the temple of Narel with high ranking magicians, Dreyfuss, her lady’s maids, and several of her guards. Although Mariel generally made an effort to pay attention to the message given by the Superior Priestess of Natric, she could not stop staring at the towering statue of the graceful, black goddess.

Her stomach was uneasy, but she was not sure why, until Hallie elbowed her and whispered, “Look at Superior Priestess’s feet, there is a real fox there! I have never seen a fox that color.”

Mariel’s whole body went numb and she let out an unintentional groan that alarmed Hallie and Cara who sat on either side of her. She wanted to bolt from the room, but reminded herself that that would be an act of cowardice. Since the gods did not exist, obviously the vixen sitting at the feet of the Superior Priestess was a normal fox that happened to be black.

Other congregants had noticed the fox too. She heard excited whispers and mutters. It was well known that the fox was the symbol animal of Narel. They believed the appearance of the fox was a sign from the goddess, but no one dared to believe it was the goddess herself.

Mariel was so intent on the fox and trying to convince herself that its appearance was a trick of the temple priestesses to help increase faith that she failed to notice when the Superior Priestess stopped speaking. The plump woman now stared at the vixen in awe. Mariel thought it was unobservant that the priestess had failed to notice the black fox at her feet until this point, but then she realized the Superior Priestess was not shocked by the vision of the slightly glowing fox, instead she seemed more surprised that the rest of the congregation also saw what she did.

The vixen turned her head and her amethyst eyes locked with Mariel’s.

I am not a figment of your imagination
, the goddess spoke in her mind.
You have too many witnesses that see me as well.

“There are no such thing as gods,” Mariel whispered.

We exist. We created your kind and all the other creatures of this mortal world, long ago.

“Gods don’t exist.”

You are being obstinate, denying the obvious truth before you.

Mariel had never been this close to fainting in her life. She tore her gaze away from the purple eyes and looked sideways. Nearly everyone she could see was enraptured by the glowing vixen, except Cara who had heard her whispered denials and looked at Mariel’s pale face with concern. James did not appear awed by the vixen either. He sat on the bench on the other side of Cara and his entire body was tense, ready to spring at a moment’s notice. His eyes were locked on the fox, but they began to move slowly.

The unbeliever was afraid to know what her friend’s eyes followed, but she turned back to the front of the temple to see. The vixen had left her place with the Superior Priestess and walked down the many stairs that led to the floor of the temple. Her movements were graceful and beautiful as she moved in a diagonal angle that led her in a straight line to the human she favored.

Mariel was incapable of turning away this time, or moving at all. The vixen slunk toward her, their eyes locked.

You must remember
, the vixen said in Mariel’s mind.

“No,” Mariel whispered.

You must remember or you will be paralyzed with fear when you see him again. And eventually you will go insane.

“No, I can’t remember.”

You must.

“No!”

“
Remember!
” The voice thundered in the temple and the vixen leapt up toward Mariel.

Mariel jerked awake with a strangled scream. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she took several gasping breaths. Her entire body shook and she felt fear unlike she remembered feeling in years.

She felt and heard a warm heart beating and leaned toward its comforting presence as she choked back the tears and forced down the fear. She hurriedly wiped away the unwelcome wetness on her cheeks as she let an emotionless mask slide across her features. Only then did she come into full awareness and take stock of the situation.

The handsome face so closed to hers alarmed and angered her.

“Put me down!”

“You might fall over.”

“I
don’t
fall over.”

“Your recent fainting spell definitely reassures me on that point.”

Fear gripped Mariel again, but she shoved it away. She did not remember fainting or how she had ended up in James’s arms at all. The last thing she remembered was feeling uneasy in the temple. What had happened since?

“Do you want me to hurt you? Put me down!”

A grin spread across James’s face at her threat, but he set her on her feet.

Her legs still shook from the aftereffects of her unidentified fear and she nearly fell. James steadied her and she pushed him away, angry at her show of weakness. She glanced around the corridor near her rooms to see who had witnessed her lapse of courage and stopped when she caught sight of the tall, thin man with close-cropped grey hair standing next to James. Although the man wore civilian clothes, Mariel knew who he was. Many more wrinkles graced his face than twelve years before when she had last seen him, but she recognized him.

“Captain Clemens.”

The man bowed low. “Your Highness, you remember me.”

Mariel was humiliated. She had always admired Captain Clemens, and now she had displayed weakness and fear in front of him. Why was she afraid though? What had happened?

“The Assassin?” she asked, fearing the answer.

“No,” James said. “Narel.”

“I don’t believe in gods.”

“So you keep telling me,” James said wryly. “Narel made you remember.”

Mariel did not need her friend to explain what he meant and in that moment she knew that gods did exist. Part of her memory came back to her. She remembered the appearance of the black vixen and her words and then a bright flash, but after that, nothing. She hoped that it was then that she had fainted, but instinct told her otherwise.

“What happened after Narel lunged at me?”

James looked uneasy. It was not an expression she was used to seeing on the normally upbeat, humorous man and Mariel did not need to ask more. The fear she felt when she awoke in James’s arms was the same irrational fear she felt when she came out of her madness after the nightmares she if she did not take her special potion.

She started swearing loudly. Mariel marched off toward her rooms with her guardsmen and Captain Clemens following silently behind her. She had made a fool of herself and who knew what she had said while the madness had claimed her?

A goddess had forced her to face her terrifying memories, but she had already forgotten. James insisted that it would cost Mariel her life if she failed to remember what had happened, but even with the aid of a goddess, Mariel could not do it. Was fear going to be what finally destroyed and killed her? It was unimaginable. 

Mariel shut herself in her bedroom and refused to speak to anyone, even when Cara gently rapped on the door and asked quietly for admittance. Mariel hated what she had become, a coward in the worst way because she did not run when faced with death, she ran when faced with memories.

Anoria and Molentre had warned Mariel that she must accept fear or she would become like all her royal ancestors, but they had failed to tell her that not accepting fear might lead to her destruction.

She admitted to fear now. She recognized the existence of the gods. But she would rather stand with her naked sword in her hand and face a battalion of ogres than face her memories. She had prided herself on strength, cunning, and invincibility; however, it was going to be a simple, yet powerful emotion that tore her apart.

Mariel pressed her face into her pillow to muffle her sobs. And then she cried without reservation.

* * *

The sound of someone loudly attempting to pick the lock on Mariel’s door woke the princess from her drowsy, depressed state. She checked to make sure Aracklin was within reaching distance, but the picker of the lock sounded like someone she could handle if it came to a fight.

When the lock gave way, the door swung open to reveal the slight form of Cara in her nightdress and robe holding a single candle in her hand. Mariel could not resist being amused. She laughed, which helped bring her out of her misery.

“I don’t recommend going into the thievery business.”

Cara ducked her head in embarrassment, but entered the room and shut the door behind her. She set the candle on the dressing table and sat in an arm chair.

“Are you feeling better?”

Mariel did not like the question, it made her feel weak and vulnerable and she nearly snapped at Cara, but then she thought better of it. The question was harmless and it showed how worried Cara was about her.

“A little.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Cara was quiet for a while and then she said, “I don’t blame you for not remembering.”

“I’m scared of my own memories! I’m a coward!”

“No, you’re not. Isabel might think so, but she’s a bully and she’s jealous of you. After what you said when Narel forced you to remember, I don’t think it is cowardly for you to forget.”

“What did I say?” Mariel dared to ask.

Cara shrugged. “It was mostly confusing things. You kept repeating that the Assassin was going to kill you. You thought you were six and you wanted your mother. It wasn’t really what you said, so much as how you said it.”

“How long was it before I fainted?”

“I’m not sure. I wasn’t there. The moment Archmagician realized you were in a state where you remembered who the Assassin was, he repeatedly asked you to describe him. You ran from the temple and James and the other guards followed. From what I understand, you ran into Captain Clemens of the Versati Corps and that was when you fainted.”

Mariel felt tightness in her throat. “And all those people in the temple saw me acting crazy?”

The younger girl shook her head. “James made them leave before you became too bad. He also made Isabel leave, so she didn’t see most of it.”

Relief spread through Mariel and the humiliation she had felt abated a little. Gratitude toward James coursed through her and she was sorry for how she acted toward him when she woke. 

“I don’t suppose you know why Captain Clemens is here?”

“Sorry, I don’t.”

“But I do.”

Cara squealed in alarm, as she and Mariel turned toward the open door. James leaned against the doorway as though he did not have a care in the world. Mariel wondered how long he had been there and then decided it was better not to ask.

She was curious to know why the captain of the Versati Corps had arrived, but there was something she needed to do before she became too distracted to remember. “Thank you for making everyone leave the temple.”

The shadows concealed James’s face, so she could not tell if he was surprised at her sudden show of gratitude, and his voice revealed nothing. “You’re welcome.”

He stepped into the room. Mariel admired the grace and smoothness with which he moved and the rippling of the strong muscles that she could see beneath his civilian clothes. James’s eyes smoldered in a way that made Mariel’s stomach flutter strangely. He smiled broadly.

“I always told you that one day my charms would work on you.”

Mariel scowled. “That day hasn’t come.”

Cara coughed to get their attention. “Would you like me to leave?”

Mariel could see the blush heating her lady’s maid’s cheeks, as she pulled her dressing robe tighter around her.

“No!” she said to Cara and then threw a pillow at James. “Don’t give her the wrong impression.”

James, who had caught the pillow with ease, smirked. “You were the one who was looking.”

“That doesn’t mean I want,” she retorted, and then promptly changed the subject before James could argue. “Why is Captain Clemens here?”

James returned the pillow to its rightful place and then sat on the bed next to her. She moved away.

“He brought orders from the capital. King Vincent demands that you stop wasting your time in the City of the Gods and come immediately to Fintel so that he can officially make you his heir and present you to court during the Winter Solstice festivities.”

“And he had to send the captain of the Versati Corps to tell me that?”

“Captain Clemens is here to offer extra protection when we leave for the capital in two days. The king has commanded Dreyfuss to arrive before us, the archmagician left tonight.”

Mariel felt cold. “But what about the Assassin? I respect Captain Clemens’s abilities, but he doesn’t know how to use magic. How will he be able to help if the Assassin attacks?”

“He won’t. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Dreyfuss so mad, but he refused to disobey an order from his king. We will have three magicians with us, but I doubt that will deter the Assassin.” He turned to Cara. “I know who is trying to kill Mariel. I already told Captain Clemens and I want you to know too so that you are somewhat prepared if we see him.”

James glanced at Mariel, and she knew he looked because he expected her to demand to know why he would tell others who the Assassin was, but not her. However, the event with Narel forcing her to remember made Mariel realize that being told who the Assassin was would unlock her memories and send her into madness and when she recovered, she would forget again.

James got up off the bed and knelt on the floor in front of Cara. He looked her straight in the eyes. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

Mariel felt wretched. How many times had James asked her that question? And how many times had she responded in the negative? Cara was shy and it took time to get to know her, especially for men, but she freely gave her trust to James, when Mariel could not.

“Have you heard of a people called serpentramels?”

Cara nodded.

“What do you know of them?”

“They are like humans, but they aren’t.”

“How aren’t they human?”

“They are both snake and human. The Nería family who ruled Natric before Herold de Sharec took power were serpentramels.”

“What do you think of them?”

“My tutors and my parents always said they are evil, barbaric monsters and our good king is having them hunted to save us.”

“And do you believe that serpentramels are bad?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never met one.”

“Yes you have.”

James’s human form vanished and was replaced by a gaboon viper. Cara was so shocked she did not even scream. She stared down at the snake at her feet where James had been only an instant before. He returned to his human form and waited for her to respond.

Eventually, Cara came to her senses. “You are very pretty.”

James and Mariel both laughed.

“He’s also poisonous,” Mariel warned. “But he won’t hurt you.”

“I know. I didn’t think he would.” Cara addressed James, “You surprised me. I wasn’t expecting to learn that you are serpentramel, you seem so human.”

“That is why I’m still alive. It is very important that you don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“Thank you.” James stood and looked at both girls. “Cara, why don’t you help Mariel into her nightclothes? When you finish, meet me in Hallie’s room so that I can tell you both what the Assassin looks like.”

James issued commands with such ease they did not even sound like orders. Mariel envied that and felt that she could never achieve what he did.

“You should be heir to the throne, not me. I won’t be any good as a ruler.”

“Where have you been this last month? People are beginning to respect you and know that you care about them. You will do fine on the throne, if you ever decide to have faith in yourself. Although, if you want, you can marry me and then I can help you rule.”      

“Don’t bet your fangs on it.”

James laughed as he left the room. Mariel caught the smile on Cara’s face and wondered if her friend knew something she did not. Unexpectedly, Mariel had the uneasy feeling that James may not have been kidding. She shook her head to clear the thought as Cara began unfastening her stays. She needed to focus on the journey she would begin in two days and she prayed that Narel would not force her to remember her forgotten past again and that the Assassin who hunted her would not find her.

* * *

“This place is despicable!” Isabel whined. “I shall catch a disease and die!”

“The vegetable pie’s good though,” Tristan said, shoveling forkfuls into his mouth.

“How can you eat that? It could be poisonous.”