Ruled By Fear (18 page)

    
A part of him was shouting at him to get up, find a way out, and determine what had happened to Keith, but another part—the part that had been trapped inside this continual nightmare for more than two weeks, the part that was starving and bruised and beaten, the part of him that felt responsible for one and possibly three more deaths—that part that wanted him to just lie there and die.  He waited quietly as these two parts of himself battled against each other.

    
The decision was made a short time later when he heard his door rattle and the sound of a lock being sprung.  His body was stiff and the pain radiating from his shoulder was so intense, he almost cried out.  His ankle was hugely swollen, but he determined it wasn’t broken.  His shoulder though was another matter.  He didn’t dare even try to look at it.  He knew it was going to need some attention and soon but, for now, it was taking all his powers of concentration just to get up off the floor—his shoulder would have to wait.

    
Slowly, he managed to get himself onto his knees and he reached out for the door knob.  The relief he felt over the door opening quickly turned to anger.  His door had never been locked before, and the one time he had desperately needed it to be open . . .

    
With his one good arm, he used the knob to pull himself up, and had to hang onto it for support for several minutes.  When his head finally stopped swimming, he looked up and down the long hallway.  There was no sign of Emily.  For some reason, he’d been half expecting to see her lying there. He quickly shut his eyes against the memory of her startled cry.

    
“One step at a time, son.”  He heard his father’s voice echo in his ears.

    
“Oh, Pa,” he said aloud.  “I don’t know if I can do this.”

    
He waited for his father to answer, but the voice remained silent.  Instead, a sudden strength seemed to flow through him, as if his father was willing him the courage to go on.  Aaron didn’t know how but, at that moment, he knew that his father was looking for them, and that knowledge gave him a strength he’d thought was long gone.  With a renewed sense of determination, he stepped into the hall, walking toward his brother’s room.  It was no surprise when he found it empty.

    
“I’ll find him, Pa.  I promise you, I’ll find him.”

    
He turned and headed for the stairs, moving slowly and painfully.  It took him a long time to get to the dining room and when he did, it was empty.  He knew he should check the board, but he was afraid of what he would see—afraid of what numbers would be missing.  Finally, he glanced up.  There were two numbers missing, but when he saw his assignment; all thoughts of whose they might be flew from his mind.

    
Tend to 19

    
His stomach lurched as he turned quickly and hobbled from the room.  He wasn’t sure exactly where he was going, but he remembered that when Philip had been assigned to take care of his brother, Emily had mentioned something about the second floor.  He took the stairs as fast as he was able, heart pounding—silently pleading for his brother to be all right.  He turned down the corridor leading off the first flight of stairs and walked quite a distance before he found himself in front of a set of double doors.  He flung one side open and stepped inside of what, to all appearances, seemed to be a hospital ward.  He had only seen one once before, on a trip he had made to San Francisco with his father several years back.  This room was much larger than the one he had been in, however.

    
“Keith,” he called.

    
The large room seemed to echo his brother’s name, and the sound filled him with dread.  His heart tightened in his chest when there was no answer.  The walls were lined with hospital style beds, and at the end of the room was a large counter full of what looked like medical equipment.  There were many cabinets and drawers, and he could make out bundles of  bandages.  He continued to walk down the center aisle, even though there appeared to be no sign of his brother.  When he got closer to the end of the row, he noticed a small door on the left.

    
He’s in there.

    
Aaron turned and stared at the door.  He tried to swallow, but his mouth had gone dry.

    
“Keith,” he managed to croak.

    
Again there was no answer.

    
Reaching out, he slowly turned the knob, and pushed the door open.

    
It was dark and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust.  When they did, he stood, eyes glued to the sight in front of him.  In the center of the room, slung over a cold metal table like a piece of meat, was his little brother.  Aaron felt the air rush from his lungs.

    
“Oh, Keith,” he whispered.

C
 

hapter 16

The world seemed to stand still as Aaron stared at his little brother’s wounded body, and he wasn’t sure his heart would ever start beating again.  His mind refused to cooperate, and he had to concentrate just to continue pushing air in and out of his lungs.  Keith lay almost completely naked across the table.  It looked like someone had given a half-hearted attempt at make him modest by throwing a small sheet across his middle. Aaron drew nearer and as he got a closer look at what his brother had endured, his breathing became ragged, and he struggled to continue putting one foot in front of the other.  There were very few places on his brother’s body that had been left untouched, and he was covered in large angry welts from the lash of a whip.

    
Aaron’s insides were churning as he reached out to push back his brother’s tangled hair.

    
Please, be alive.

    
At Aaron’s touch, Keith gave a soft cry, but made no attempt to move.  Aaron had never felt such relief as he did then.

    
“I’m here, Keith,” he said softly.  “I’m here now.”

    
Keith didn’t answer expect for a weak moan, but it was enough to send Aaron into action.

    
“I’ll be right back.”

    
Aaron limped out of the room and made his way to the bandages.  Near the pile, he noticed a bucket of water had been set on the floor, along with a bottle of witch hazel.  The water looked fresh; it appeared these things had been set there recently.  He took a quick moment to look around, in case there was anything else that might be of use.  There were bottles of various drugs in many of the cabinets, but he didn’t recognize most of the names.  He decided to take what he’d found to his brother, and then go back and search more thoroughly later on.  He knew that once Keith came around, he was going to be in a great deal of pain, and he hoped that there might be some kind of pain killer mixed up in the jumble of medicines.

    
When he entered the room again, he immediately started talking to his brother, keeping his voice low and soothing.  He soaked the bandages with witch hazel and began to tend to his brother’s wounds.  He had expected somewhat of a fight from Keith, as he was sure the witch hazel would sting, but his little brother remained unmoving.  Aaron dipped one of the bandages in water and brought it to his brother’s lips but, still, Keith didn’t move.  After examining him more closely, it dawned on Aaron that Keith had been given some sort of sedative.  He counted that a blessing for the moment, and continued to work on his brother until every stripe had been cleaned.  Finding himself with nothing more to do other than wait, he decided to go search through the cabinets again.  He had no idea what his brother had been given or how long it would last, and Aaron was worried about fever or infection setting in.  If he could, he wanted to have something ready to give him when he did finally come around.  As he walked out of the small room, his shoulder brushed against the doorframe, and he nearly cried out from the pain.  He knew he should use some the witch hazel to tend to his own wounds, but he didn’t have the strength to cause himself any more pain at the moment.  Aaron had been digging through the cabinets without much success for a while when the sound of someone clearing their throat startled him. He looked up and standing before him, unharmed, was Emily.  Once again, overwhelming relief rushed through him, and the heavy load of guilt he’d been carrying seemed to fall of his shoulders.

    
“You’re alive?” he cried out, half disbelieving.

    
Emily nodded her head shyly.  “I’m . . . I’m sorry I couldn’t help you.  I . . . I tried.”

    
The girl’s eyes filled with tears and as she dropped her eyes to the floor, she self-consciously pushed her hair behind her ears.  Aaron cringed when he saw a large bruise at the base of her temple, and some of the guilt came back.

    
He crossed the room and laid a hand on her shoulder.

    
“I know you did,” he said, “and I thank you for it.  I’m sorry that you were hurt because of me.”

    
Emily shrugged her slight shoulders and looked up into his eyes, giving him a small smile.

    
“I’ve brought you some lunch,” she said.  “But, I wasn’t allowed to bring any for your brother, I’m sorry.”

    
Aaron took the small bundle she offered and he smiled appreciatively.  He knew it would be a while before Keith would be wanting any food; he didn’t feel much like eating himself.  As Emily turned to leave, he reached out a hand to stop her.

    
“How long will they let us stay here?” he asked.

    
“I’m not sure . . . Only until they think he’s well enough to work again.  The Gardner is the one that decides,” she paused for a moment, and then added as an afterthought.  “I won’t be allowed to bring you supper.  You’ll have to come down for that.”

    
“Thank you,” Aaron answered, then turned back to the cabinets.

    
He knew there was no way he was going to leave his brother alone—never again.  But, he didn’t need to tell Emily that—he didn’t want her to worry.

    
“Is this where you got the medicine for my brother when he was sick,” he asked her.

    
Her eyes grew round, and she stammered for a moment.

    
“It’s all right,” Aaron said, holding up a calming hand.  “Your secret is safe with me.”

    
She watched him for a moment and then seemed to relax.  After she had left the room, Aaron opened the bundle onto the counter.  One egg, a crumbled biscuit, and one raw carrot were all he would get between now and the next day.  He wrapped the food up again and set it inside one of the cupboards.  The pain in his shoulder was making his stomach queasy and he decided it would be better to save the food until he knew for sure he would be able to keep it down.  Aaron continued his search for medicine and, just as he was ready to give up, he came across a small bottle marked laudanum.  It only had a small amount of liquid left but, at least, it was something, and he was grateful.  He was on his way back to the room when he heard Keith cry out.

    
“I’m coming,” he called, and then cringed as he remembered uttering those very words the night before.  When he entered the room he gasped and quickly rushed to Keith’s side.  It seemed his brother had attempted to stand up, and had landed in a heap on the floor.  As gently as he could he helped his brother back onto the table, but the process was long and agonizingly painful for Keith, and the young man was trembling violently by the time he was settled again.  Aaron wondered if it would have been better to have just left him on the floor as he took the cork out of the small bottle of laudanum and brought it to Keith’s lips.  Keith screwed up his mouth as the bitter tasting liquid hit his tongue, but Aaron was relieved to see that the medicine made it down his throat.  Keith was barely aware of what was happening around him, and his words were jumbled and disjointed.

    
“It hurts,” Keith whimpered.  “So, tired . . . can’t . . .  Where’s Pa?”

    
Aaron’s throat tightened as he listened to his little brother’s pleas.

    
“He’s coming, Keith,” he answered with unwavering confidence.  “He’s coming.”

     By the next morning, Keith was much more alert and, therefore, much more aware of the pain he was in.  Aaron had spent most of the night in a chair tending to him—listening helplessly as Keith moaned, even in his sleep.  He had given him several large doses of laudanum the first few times Keith came around but, now, there wasn’t much left, and as much as he hated to do it, he knew he was going to have to ration out the rest.  A few times during the long night, he had been tempted to take some of the medicine himself, but he settled for just sucking what was left off the top of the bottle each time he gave Keith a dose.  Keith’s welts were large and fiery, but thankfully, none of the lashes had broken his skin.  Aaron was glad, for Keith’s sake, that there would be no scars.  He didn’t want his little brother to have a permanent reminder of this place once they escaped.

    
Aaron had eaten the carrot and biscuit during the night, but the egg he left for Keith, breaking it into small, manageable pieces.  He alternated between giving him water and then a piece of the egg.  Most of the time Keith slept, but Aaron couldn’t seem to no matter how hard he tried.  He knew he needed to get some rest or he would be no good to his brother, but every time he closed his eyes, the image of the girl in the chamber flashed before him.  The thought that it could have been Keith was nearly driving him crazy.

    
Eventually, Emily came again with his noon meal.  This time, there was an actual piece of meat to go with his egg and he raised his eyebrows in surprise at the sight of two biscuits.  He looked at Emily curiously, and she quickly ducked her head.

    
“I . . . thought Keith should get something too.  I know you both must be so hungry,” she looked up, suddenly seeming concerned.  “Nobody saw me.  You don’t have to worry about that.”

    
“I’m not worried,” Aaron assured her, rewarding her with as bright a smile as he could manage.

    
Emily had also brought a new uniform for Keith, and the unwelcome message, from the Gardener, that Keith would be expected to return to work the next day.

    
“That’s absolutely ridiculous,” he all but shouted.  “How can they expect him to work when he can barely even stand up?”

    
Emily shook her head slightly, her eyes becoming wide, and Aaron immediately regretted scaring the young girl.

    
“I’m sorry,” he said, working to soften his tone.  “I’m just . . . I’m so tired.”

    
Emily nodded, this time in understanding.  “He doesn’t exactly have to work,” she said.  “Just make sure he gets to where he’s assigned.  Grant will make sure you get the help you need to meet his quota.”

    
Aaron sighed and rubbed his hands wearily over his red eyes.  He noticed Emily getting fidgety and he knew she needed to leave, but he had a few more questions for her.  He quickly tried to prioritize them in his mind.

    
“Do you happen to know where I can find some more of this?” he asked, holding up the nearly empty bottle of laudanum.”

    
Emily stared at it for a moment, squinting her eyes then, suddenly, her face seemed to brighten.

    
“I think so,” she answered.  “I . . . I can’t get to it just now, but I’ll try to bring it to you tomorrow if I can.”

    
Aaron felt a glimmer of hope, and continued with his next question.  “How is Philip?”

    
Emily grew sullen again at the mention of the boy’s name.  “I’m worried about him,” she said.  “He looks so angry all the time, and he won’t talk much.  When he does . . . the things he says scare me.”

    
“What kind of things does he say?” Aaron asked gently.

    
Emily hesitated and unconsciously reached for her hair.  He remembered the way she had always twirled it around her finger when she was nervous.  He winced as she realized her mistake, and dropped her hands, twisting them nervously in front of her.

    
“He says . . . he’s going to get even.  That he’s going to make them pay.”  She then looked up at him—eyes full of concern.  “You can’t let him do that.  They’ll punish him terribly if he tries anything . . . they might even . . .”

    
At an agonized cry from Keith, Aaron and Emily both turned their attention toward the little room.  Aaron cringed, he could tell that Keith was trying hard to keep his voice low, but his little brother had never been one to endure pain quietly.  He held up the bottle, once again, as if his continual checking might make more of the precious liquid appear.  The sound of a soft sob made him lower the bottle, and he looked up in surprise as Emily began weeping uncontrollably.  For a moment he was so startled he couldn’t move, but he quickly gathered his senses and went to the girl.

    
“What is it?” he asked, kneeling down in front of her; gently drawing her hands away from her face.

    
It took a few minutes for her to be able to speak, but when she did, everything seemed to come pouring out in a burst of emotion.

    
“I’m so sorry,” she said, and Aaron drew his brows together in confusion.  “I’m so sorry for your brother, and Philip . . . and Tom, and . . . and my father.  I hate this horrible place—everyone I care about dies.  I wish . . . I wish I could leave, and see the place you told us about.  I’ve never been to a place like that, and it sounds so wonderful.  I wish I could see the trees, and the flowers, and watch the sun touch the water when it sets for the evening.”

    
She stopped for a moment as another small sob interrupted her speech, then wiped her thin arm across her eyes.  When she looked at Aaron, her eyes were so open—so honest, and she spoke with a resigned certainty.  “But, I’m going to die here.”