Rules of Entanglement (22 page)

“Where is she now?”

“I don’t know exactly. Last time I talked to her she was somewhere near Memphis, Tennessee. She might still be there, but chances are Lenny probably burned all of his bridges by now so they would’ve had to move to a different city. Again.”

“Lenny her boyfriend?” She nodded. “You don’t sound too thrilled about him.”

“He’s not anyone I’d want dating someone I care for, much less my sister, but he did get her out of my mom’s house a year earlier than she could have. Regardless of the fact she was only seventeen and it was illegal for her to leave home, she was still better off with Lenny the Loser.”

Jackson thought about how he’d have felt if some guy had swept Lucie off at the tender age of seventeen. The very idea made him violent. No way would he ever be down with that. Hell, it’d been hard enough to swallow the news of her dating Reid, and they’d been like brothers their whole lives.

“Okay, so Kat leaves home with Lenny at seventeen. Then what? Where’d they go?”

“All over the place. He’s made a career out of taking advantage of his friends or his friends’ friends. Kat usually picks up any odd job to get them by and Lenny starts to run whatever his latest racket is to get rich quick. But he always ends up screwing over the wrong people, and they have to pick up and move to a new city to start all over again.”

“Is she happy with him?”

Vanessa’s cynical laugh dropped in front of them like a dead weight. “No. At least not for several years now. But she’d never tell me that. She’s too proud to tell me anything that isn’t positive or necessary. I’ve tried to convince her to come live with me, but she won’t. She thinks I’ll see her as a huge screwup. I’ve tried assuring her I could never judge her when it isn’t even her fault, but it never makes a difference. She’s as stubborn as our mother.”

He placed a kiss on her cheek. “Sounds like someone else I know.”

She turned in his arms, placed her hands on his hips, and gave him a sly smile. “If you think you have me so figured out,” she said in a sultry voice, “why don’t you tell me what I’m thinking right now.”

She was switching the topic to sex for reasons that had nothing to do with being horny. He saw it for what it was: a defense mechanism. He’d seen other women do the same thing before, and he’d only been too willing to follow their lead. Who was he to force them to discuss something they didn’t want to?

But Vanessa was different. She wasn’t just some girl. With every hour he spent with her, he realized more and more just how much she meant to him. And he’d rather deal with permanent blue balls than ignore her pain for a quick fuck.

As she stretched up on her tiptoes to kiss him, he laid his hands on her shoulders to stop her. She furrowed her brow.

“What happened to your sister…,” he began in a gentle tone. “No matter what you think, it’s not your fault.”

“Ummm, o-kay,” she answered sarcastically. “I don’t know if you missed it or what, but I was trying to come on to you just now.”

Not a smile, not a wink. He wouldn’t react to her playful attempts. He wouldn’t help her bury her feelings. “Honey, listen to me. It’s not. Your. Fault.”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you pushing something you know nothing about?”

She took a step back, trying to extricate herself from his grasp, but he wasn’t making it that easy. He circled one arm around her back and shoved his free hand through the mass of curls to cradle the back of her head.

“There’s a lot of shit I don’t know in this world, but this,” he said with emphasis, “
this
I do know.”

Tears filled her eyes and a single drop slipped over the edge. In the moonlight it shone like a fluid crystal trailing over her cheek. She shook her head slightly, still trying to deny his claim. “Jackson, please…don’t…”

“Do you have any idea how amazing I think you are? You practically raised her when you were a child yourself. You protected her, sheltered her, from as much as you could while growing up in conditions no child should ever experience.”

“I know,” she said, her voice trembling, “but I…”

“Made her into a strong, proud, self-sufficient woman. She might not have the life you want for her right now, but that doesn’t mean she won’t eventually.”

Releasing a shaky exhale, Vanessa curled into him, resting her forehead on his chest. He rubbed her back slowly, up and down, letting her work through her emotions as they inevitably flooded to the surface. When she spoke again it was soft, almost muffled against his shirt, but not enough that he couldn’t hear what she said or the anguish behind her words.

“I’m just so worried about her all the time, and…” She sniffed back her tears, sighed, and raised her eyes to his once again. “I miss her so damn much.”

“I know you do, baby.” Framing her face, he gently kissed away the new tears streaming from her moonlit eyes then wrapped her in his embrace again. “I know you do.”

For several minutes he just held her as she cried. He rested his cheek on the top of her silky hair and ran a hand over her back, soothing her as best he could. When she at last seemed like she’d worked through the worst of it, he pulled away and said, “Let’s go back to the room and get you taken care of.”

She didn’t object to his coddling like he expected. Exhaustion lined her face, and she was only too willing to let him lead her around the room as he finished taking care of her hand and instructed her to go through her nightly before-bed routine. When she finished, he humored her by letting her face away from him as he helped her into her pajamas, since her hand was too sore to do certain parts.

Once she was all set for bed, he sat on the couch and let her lay down with her head in his lap while they watched the old eighties movie
Say Anything
on the local cable channel. He idly played with her hair while Lloyd Dobler tried desperately to impress the girl of his dreams, Diane Court. By the time Lloyd thoughtfully pointed out broken glass for Diane to step around, Vanessa was sound asleep with one hand tucked under her cheek and the other resting on his thigh.

After covering her with the lightweight blanket he’d set off to the side, Jackson settled in to watch the rest of the movie while making plans for his last official day with her. If all went according to plan, tomorrow would be just the beginning.

Day 5: Thursday

“Don’t I even get a hint?”

Vanessa looked over at Jackson from the passenger seat of his Jeep. She held hair in one hand to avoid the inevitable snarl wars in her curls as a result from traveling in a vehicle with no roof. Or doors, for that matter.

He spared a quick glance in her direction with what could only be described as a model-perfect smile. All gorgeous white teeth, laugh lines behind the dark shade of his stubble, and she’d bet laughing topaz eyes behind his dark wrap-around sunglasses.

“Nope.”

That was it. He wouldn’t say anything else no matter how many guesses she tossed into the wind. Considering she wasn’t fond of surprises—after all, one can’t prepare for what one doesn’t know is coming—it was utterly infuriating. And really sweet. Damn him.

Finally giving up, she slid on her own sunglasses and let her head drop back. The late afternoon sun bathed her face and upper body, and she wondered how many new freckles she’d come away with by the time she flew home. She didn’t have any on her face like Kat did, but she sported some light ones on her arms and shoulders. It was a damn good thing she’d slathered herself in suntan lotion before they left. She’d have to remember to reapply later if they were going to be outdoors.

Not that she knew if they were or not because
some
one wasn’t coughing up any answers.

She sighed and thought about all that had transpired over the last several days. In a million years, she never would’ve guessed what the week had in store for her. Last night had been even more of a surprise. Not only did she actually punch someone in a fit of rage, she’d cried on Jackson’s shoulder to the point of exhaustion then let him take care of her until she fell asleep in his lap.

She tried to think back to the last time anyone had taken care of her…and came up blank. Even as a child she’d been the one caring for herself and Kat. Hell, she’d even taken care of their mother when she was too far gone on God only knew what to perform the simplest of tasks.

But last night had been completely different. She’d opened up to Jackson more than she ever had with anyone else. Even in her more vulnerable moments with Lucie, she’d still had a thin wall around herself, allowing a modicum of control. And Lucie, being the sweetheart she was, never pushed for anything more than Vanessa was willing to give.

But Jackson had taken her thin wall and chipped away at it until he made a sizable dent. Then kept going until the dent became a crack and the crack became a gap, and that was all he needed to release the raw emotions he’d been looking for. The experience had been terrifying. And also cathartic.

She spent a good deal of her morning wondering why he was so intent on breaking through her barriers, though. What was he getting out of it? It certainly wasn’t some sleazy way of making her vulnerable enough to get into her pants. Technically speaking, he’d had backstage passes to her pants for a full three days. And it sure as hell wasn’t because he was looking for some deep, meaningful relationship with her. They’d both agreed that this was a one-time-only fling.

Yep. Nothing but some fun in the sun and then they were done, and all that other rhyming mantra crap. Little did she know she’d be haunted by the phrase “be careful what you wish for” as she tried to ignore the pang of sadness and regret on their last day together. So much for her women’s intuition.

Maybe Jackson was just one of those rare guys who was genuinely sweet. Plus, she was his sister’s best friend, so he had an added incentive to be nice to her. At any rate, though they’d started off more than a little rocky, Vanessa was really glad for his company the last several days. She had fun with him, he made her laugh, he was playful and charming…and wicked talented in bed. And on the couch. And in the shower. And on Jet Skis.

“What are you smiling about over there?”

Vanessa pressed her lips together. She hadn’t realized her wayward thoughts had gone rogue with brain signals to her mouth. But since they had, there was no sense in letting an opportunity go to waste.

Reaching across the short distance between them, she placed her hand high on his thigh and started tracing the inside hem of his shorts with a tip of her nail. His muscles bunched beneath her palm, and he groaned when her finger crept closer to his crotch then retreated without touching anything fun. She stifled her laugh.

“If you tell me where we’re going, I’ll tell you what I was thinking.” Taking things a step further, she leaned over, pressed a moist kiss just under his ear, and whispered, “And even reward you with some in-the-car fun.”

“Sorry, babe. No dice.” Jackson grabbed her roaming hand, kissed it, and then intertwined their fingers before resting them on his lap. He did a bang-up job of pretending he wasn’t affected, but the pulse in his neck told her it was his way of preventing any further threats of her handling his stick shift while he drove.

Sitting back in her seat, she huffed from defeat and considered the phone conversation she’d had that morning with the only other person besides Lucie she felt she could go to for advice. Fritz, the grizzled owner of the local bar she and Lucie had frequented ever since their freshman year in college, was the closest thing Vanessa had to a father figure. He was the type to show his affection through the fine art of teasing and mock arguments. It was rare for the man to have any serious moments, but the fatherly affection he had for her and Lucie was obvious in every fake barb he threw their way.

Vanessa had woken in Jackson’s arms that morning groggy and content. As she lay there, listening to his even breaths and the steady beating of his heart, she turned her focus inward and analyzed her feelings. Something she rarely allowed herself to do. What she found astonished her. Not only did she feel safe and cared for, but she swore there was something that felt an awful lot like…love.

She’d given herself ten points for managing not to freak out. Instead, she’d suppressed her crazy and gone through their morning routine of drinking coffee and eating breakfast. Then he’d left to go run errands, and she’d frantically dialed the number for the bar, knowing with the time difference that Fritz would be getting ready to open.

“We don’t open till four.”

The surly, gravelly voice was like the beacon of a distant lighthouse in a blinding fog. “Fritz! It’s Nessie. Do you have a minute?”

“Well, now, you know I’ll always have time for my favorite redhead, but ain’t you supposed to be in Hawaii?”

“I am, but I need someone to talk to, and I can’t talk to Lucie about it.” She paused and then amended it with, “Yet.” One of the things she’d decided was that she was going to come clean with Lucie about the fling with Jax after her honeymoon was over. Vanessa didn’t think it would upset her friend, but in case it even bothered her in the slightest, she didn’t want it to ruin what should be the happiest week of her life.

“That’s not like you, Red. What you got goin’ on? Someone givin’ you trouble, girl? You tell me who it is and I’ll set ’em straight when I get down there tomorrow.”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that. Um…” She took a breath, closed her eyes, and spit it out. “I’m sleeping with Lucie’s brother, Jackson.”

A slow whistle came through the cell speaker. “Keepin’ it in the family, are ya? Okay, so what’s the problem? He not giving you the cunny quakes?”

It wasn’t easy to shock Vanessa, especially when it came to the outrageously hilarious things that often came out of the retired Naval rescue swimmer’s mouth, but that was definitely a new level of outrageous. The fun thing about her relationship with Fritz, though, was the smartass—and often crass and inappropriate—comments they tossed back and forth. It had caused more than a few bar patrons to look at them strangely over the years.

She welcomed the smirk on her face at the familiarity of their banter. “Just because
you
have issues getting the ladies to scream your name, old man, doesn’t mean everyone else does.”

“Hah! When I’m with a woman the sex is so good my
neighbors
need a cigarette. So don’t you go accusin’ me of not satisfyin’ the ladies.”

Vanessa busted out laughing and felt some of the tension leave her body. “All right, so we’ve established that both you and Jackson have no issues in the sack. Gee, I can’t tell you what a relief that is. Not to mention the spectacular imagery that gave me, thank you very much.”

“At least you don’t sound like a scared little rabbit anymore,” he said with tenderness in his voice. That he’d sensed her anxiety over the phone and tried to quell it the only way he knew how truly touched her. He really was a big teddy bear at heart. “Now, tell me what’s really botherin’ ya.”

She raked a hand through her hair and fisted a chunk until the sharp pain at her scalp forced her to relax her grip.
Say it, say it, say it!
“God, this is crazy,” she muttered. “I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this…”

“Speak up, darlin’, my hearin’ ain’t what it used to be.”

“I think that maybe…I mean, it’s possible…” Somewhere in the back of her mind Vanessa knew she was acting ridiculous. For shit’s sake, she was actually wincing as though the words dangling off the tip of her tongue could actually cause physical pain. “…that I might be—just a
little
—infatuated, in lust, or whatever you want to call it, with Jackson.”

Her breaths ceased, remaining trapped in her lungs as she waited for a response, a guffaw, a
something
. But the only sound that came through was the rasp of his fingers running over the ever-present gray stubble on his jaw. She’d bet he had his elbows on the bar, one hand holding the receiver of the old rotary phone, the other creating the sandpaper noise that seemed to get louder with every passing nanosecond.

“Fritz, say something,” she pleaded. “Tell me I’m crazy because I’ve only known him a few days. That getting involved with my best friend’s brother is asking for trouble. That I’m a hypocrite because he practically breaks every one of my Rules.”

“Well now, Red, why would I have to say any of those things when you’re already thinkin’ ’em?”

“See? I knew it.” She slumped forward on the couch and dropped her head into her hand. “Oh, this is bad. Bad, bad, bad.”

“Now wait a minute. Just because I pointed out you’re already thinkin’ those things doesn’t mean I agree with any of it.”

Vanessa swore she heard a needle screech its way across a vinyl record somewhere. “You don’t?”

“Hell no, I don’t. Now you listen to me, and you listen good. You know I love you like my own, but Jesus Christ, yer the dumbest smart woman I know.”

“Beg your pardon?”

“I’ve watched you turn down more fellas in this bar than I can count. Now, don’t get me wrong, most of ’em weren’t worth the time it took you to brush ’em off. But some were mighty nice gentlemen, and all that stopped you was those damn rules.”

“My Rules are solid. They keep me from getting involved with anyone who isn’t good for me,” she argued as she crossed the room to stare out at the bright blue water beyond the white sand.

“Oh, that’s such horseshit. Your
rules
ain’t nothin’ more than a way of making sure no one gets close enough to hurt you.” She was about to contest that point when he said something that made her mouth slam shut. “If you keep goin’ as you are, Nessie girl, yer always gonna be alone. An’ I know that’s not what you want.”

No
, she thought sadly.
It isn’t.

“No one’s perfect, kiddo. Not even you, hard as that is to imagine.”

A hint of a smile curved the edges of her lips at his mild jab, but the fear of contemplating all that he said kept her joviality at the baseline. Was she truly destined to be alone if she held every man she met against her Rules?

Fritz added one last thought, holding back the avalanche of questions she was about to inundate herself with. “I’ve never met Jackson, but from everything our Lucie’s told me over the years, he sounds like a pretty good guy. After all, he practically raised her, so he can’t be all that bad. Maybe you oughta give
him
the benefit of the doubt and
yourself
a shot at being happy and see how things turn out. You might just be surprised.”

“Since when did you get so smart?”

His raspy chuckle warmed her heart and even made her a little homesick. Fritz’s Bar had been a huge part of her regular routine for the last decade of her life, and so had its owner. “Since always, but I try to keep it in check, ’cause I hate to see a pretty girl cry when she’s been outsmarted by an old-timer like me.”

She’d laughed and then changed the topic with a bit of small talk about the wedding before hanging up and spending the rest of her morning trying to focus on her casework as opposed to her conversation with Fritz.

“Where you at, V?”

“Hmm?” Blinking, she looked over at Jackson to find they’d stopped.

“You seemed miles away just now.” He stretched his arm over the back of her seat and leaned in as he shoved his shades onto his head. The golden brown of his eyes pierced through her flashback haze. “Where were you?”

She gave him a confident smile. Or at least what she hoped was confident. “Trust me, it’s nowhere you want to be.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that, honey.” He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. When he pulled back, he added, “As long as you’re there, I’m thinking that’s exactly where I want to be.”

Vanessa sat stone still, her brain analyzing at hyper-speed while a warmth like she’d never known spread through her heart. Could he possibly have feelings for her like she’d started having for him? Did he want more than what they’d originally agreed to?

No, that didn’t make any sense. He must be referring to the here and now. Today was their last contractual day together, and he probably wanted to make the most of it, just as she did.

“Come on, princess, get the lead out. We have a decent hike in front of us.”

For the next half hour, they trekked through some of the most beautiful country she’d ever seen, even on TV. Seeing the jungle up close and personal as opposed to a two-dimensional picture was like the difference between seeing Jax in pictures (
oh, he’s cute
) and knowing what it was like to make love to him (
oh my fucking God he’s heaven
). No contest.