Running Away From Love (8 page)

He said “I told you I was a man of my word. So where do we begin?”

I pointed to the numerous boxes that were still piled up in the corners of my apartment and said, “Pick any corner you want. I have so much crap I need to get unpacked, but it’s mainly my clothes and shoes.”

As we began to unpack my things I couldn’t help but stare at him. I was genuinely intrigued. There had to be something I could point out to make myself not like and want him. As I continued to stare at him I just couldn’t find even one little flaw. Could it be that I could actually see myself with him? It was unheard of for my overly cautious ass to come to that conclusion so quickly.

              I wondered if he would even have enough patience to deal with me. He really has no idea the extent to how difficult I could actually be. I know that after my experience with Trey it will take a patient, and strong man to even attempt to love me. That isn’t even the hard part I think. The hard part would be me letting a man love me, and for me to love him back just the same. I will be the first to admit I have serious relationship issues. But I have no idea where to begin to heal from all of my past issues.

He broke the silence as he said “So you’re going to be the new big time editor over at
Vibe
, huh? I bet your going to meet all those famous men, and they are going to think you’re the shit. Sexy and professional is definitely a turn on for any man.”

I laughed. “No, I don’t mix business with pleasure. When I’m on my job I’m all about my business, and anyone who comes in contact with me will understand that jump.”

“Yeah, you may think it’s all business, but who says they will?”

I smiled. “Anyone can try all they want to get at me, but I always have the last say.”

“Well it’s nice to know you’re serious about your business. I’m going to be honest and tell you they are going to try you.”

I laughed. “I’m ready for whatever, because I worked too hard to get here to take all of this lightly. I have a goal I’m trying to reach so I’m going hard until I get it. I need to make all the connections I can now. My ultimate goal is to start my own magazine. So I need to learn all about the business I can while I’m over at
Vibe
. And I thought I told you to stop complimenting me so much. Your making me blush and embarrassed so stop it.”

He smiled as he said “Wow, let me find out you’re shy! I didn’t even know shy girls still existed. I’m glad to see I’m having an effect on you in such a short amount of time. I guess that’s a good thing and I’m doing something right. In regards to your dream I think it’s a dope idea. I can see you running things, and your name as editor and chief.”

I just smiled, so he continued. “But on a more serious note, you really don’t have to be shy, nervous, or uncomfortable. I’m only telling you the truth. I think you’re beautiful. You have one of the sweetest personalities I have ever seen on a woman. I’m so attracted to your personality alone. Believe it or not, it’s hard as hell to find a sweet girl like you trust me. The women out here go harder than the men. Everything I’m saying to you is all truth. One thing you will find out about me is that I’m not one to bite my tongue. I will always let you know what’s on my mind, and how I’m feeling.”

              I noticed he was starting to unpack the box that was filled with all my pictures. And he just so happened to pull out the picture of me and Trey. I was hoping he didn’t ask about who it was in the picture with me. But I knew I didn’t have that much luck in the world.

After a second, just like I thought, he asked, “Who is this in the picture with you? Is this your man?”

I grabbed the picture out of his hand and said “Now you know I told you before I don’t have a man. He is just a guy from my past who doesn’t even matter anymore.”

“So I’m guessing he’s an ex-boyfriend. And by the tone in your voice, and the way your face just changed I’m guessing the breakup was pretty bad. Why aren’t you two still together?”

I was getting kind of annoyed with the questions. I didn’t want to talk about it.

“It’s a very long story,” I said flatly.

He pulled me up from off the floor, and we sat down together on my couch.

“I have all day to hear about it.”

I took a deep breath and began to talk.

“His name is Trey. Our relationship ended a little over a year ago. We were together off and on for like five years. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to be any more serious with me than what we already were. So I played the waiting game with him for a long time hoping he would change his mind about wanting to be with me. About two years ago he moved here to New York City for a job. I came down to visit him one day, and he basically told me he didn’t want to be with me. I guess I was a distraction he needed to let go. He said he needed all his time to focus on getting his career moving forward. It hurt me because I invested so much time with him. And to hear he made plans that didn’t include me was like a slap in the face. In the end I came to find he didn’t care about me as much as I did him. He grew into this man I didn’t know. I learned of women he was with while with me. Since all that happened, I haven’t seen or talked to him. So here I am single and in New York City.”

              After I finished telling him all that I began to feel a little bit embarrassed. I felt like I had told him too much, but he listening quietly and intently. I couldn’t help but feel a little bit vulnerable. I didn’t want him to think I was just another typical bitter black woman because that definitely is not who I am. Right now I’m just super cautious with my heart. The only thing I left out was about me being pregnant by Trey. I felt like it was too early to discuss that with him. I didn’t know how he would react to that, or if he would judge me. Hell I still judge myself when it comes to that pregnancy.

Q held my hand up and kissed it lightly as if he could still see the pain that still lingered within me.

He said “Well, I know how it feels to have your heart broken by someone you love and trust. It definitely isn’t easy to deal with. I know being a professional athlete makes finding that one person hard as hell. You don’t know who you can really trust. You can never be too sure if they like you for you, or if they just like you for your status and money. The relationships I have been in trust is the hardest part. With my last girlfriend she kept thinking I was cheating on her, because of the traveling and the groupies. I mean yes groupies are a known part of the game. They will always be there, but if you can’t trust me then it won’t work at the end of the day. And just in case you’re wondering I never cheated on her. Was there temptation around me hell yeah it was everywhere. But I had love for her, and I practiced self-control. I guess everything happens for a reason you learn, grow, and move forward.”

I listened to everything he said. He kept talking, “But can I be honest with you?”

I nodded an okay for him to go on.

“He really sounds like he was a little boy who wasn’t ready for you. He didn’t know what to do with you when he had you. Yes it is true you both were young and he may not have been ready for a serious relationship back then. But you seem like the kind of woman who will compliment, and make her man better. Chicks who don’t feel the need to rely on her man for everything only come along once in a blue. I’m not happy he broke your heart, but I am glad that he let you go so I could find you. I really do like you, Jasmine, and I know it sounds crazy being we haven’t known each other but only for a day. It’s just something about you that has my undivided attention. I can’t get you off of my mind. Your scent seems to be forever imprinted in my mind, and I can’t stop myself from thinking about you. One man’s loss is another man’s gain if you ask me. I can see in just this little bit of time I have gotten to spend with you, that you are very special. I hope I can get to know you a lot more, and really see how special you can really be.”

              I looked at him and just smiled. It felt like I could tell him all of my secrets and dreams. I could actually trust him with them all. He seemed like he saw all of me without me having to even show him. I liked where our relationship was going. We were building a friendship first, and leaving the possibility of it growing into something more open. I like that it wasn’t any pressure. We are genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.

As I gazed into his eyes, I said “I really appreciate you just listening to me. I never had a conversation with a man where he actually listened to what I say. I feel like I can talk to you about anything. I would love it if we got to spend more time with each other.”

He smiled as he said, “I’m a real man and I am not afraid of a real woman when she is sitting right in front of my face. I have been looking to meet a woman like you for a very long time now. It’s crazy that you seem to be so perfect.”

I smiled and said “I am not perfect at all, Q, trust me. I definitely have issues with men and trust right now. But what you said was cute though.”

He pulled me in closer to his body, and kissed me on the forehead as I cuddled up next to him. We talked about everything from past loves to our families. We talked about what we wanted in the future. He told me how he was looking to settle down, and start a family soon.

So I asked “Do you think you will have the time for a wife and kids with your career?”

He said “I mean it will be a challenge; I won’t lie. But if she loves me it will work I think.” I liked his answer!

“What about you?” he asked. “You don’t strike me as the housewife type. With your plans on starting your own magazine from the ground up, will you have time for a man and starting a family?”

“I mean my dreams and goals are very important to me. So through hell or high water I will get there. But I also dream of becoming a wife and mother. I would like to wait until I’m settled career wise before starting a family though. But with the right man I think anything is possible. If he loves me he will support my dreams just like I would support his.”

He smiled like he loved my response. “Good answer!”

It was so easy for us to talk to one another. It was crazy how easily we flowed and connected so effortlessly. It felt so good to have a real conversation with a man who seemed to be genuine. It just felt so right to me that there was no possible way this thing growing between us could be wrong. 

              After we finished unpacking and organizing my apartment we chilled on the couch listening to music.

He asked “So can I take you out again tonight?”

“Sure as long as it isn’t at a party where all your female fans can give me the evil eye all night.”

“Stop it. I don’t have any female fans. How about we go to a lounge listen to music and have some drinks. I know a real chill spot we can go to. How does that sound?”

“It sounds good. Let me get dressed; I look a mess right now.”

He kissed me on the forehead and said “You look beautiful, no makeup and all!” I smiled as I said “Give me 30 minutes. You can leave if you don’t want to wait.”

He smiled. “I’m good right here. Your couch is real comfortable you better hope I don’t fall asleep while I’m waiting.”

“You can fall asleep; I will just wake you up.”

I turned away and went into my bedroom to get dressed. I picked out a pair of skinny black jeans, and a gold and black lace top. I matched it with a pair of gold stiletto sandals. I combed my wrap out, and made sure I looked decent. I walked out to my living room to tell him I was ready, but I found him on the couch fast asleep. He was so cute sleeping. I could tell he was tired, because he didn’t even hear me come into the room. I decided to let him sleep. I grabbed a pillow and blanket out of my linen closet,  placed the pillow underneath his head, and covered him up with the blanket. I kissed him lightly on the cheek, and went back into my bedroom to get undressed. I was tired myself so I laid down and went to sleep with Quincy on my mind.

              I woke up early in the morning so I could make him some breakfast. I tip toed into the living room to find him still fast asleep. I made my way into the kitchen and started to prepare a big breakfast of eggs, bacon, grits, toast, and some fresh fruit. I hoped he liked everything I cooked for him. After I finished cooking everything I set the dining room table for the both of us. I walked over to where he was sleeping, and I kissed him softly on the cheek to wake him up.

Softly I said, “Wake up.”

He slowly opened his eyes looking a little bit out of it. I could tell he had no clue where he was at first, until his eyes focused in on me. He stretched out a little bit before he sat up.

“Did I fall asleep on you?” He was embarrassed.

I laughed. “Yeah, you did. I guess I took too long getting dressed, or you were tired and didn’t want to tell me.”

“Maybe it was a little of both. Something smells good in here; did you cook?”

I smiled, grabbed him by the hand, and I led him into the dining room.

“Yeah I cooked you some breakfast; I figured you would be hungry. So have a seat. I hope you eat all of this I wasn’t sure what you liked.”

I placed a plate in front of him, and poured him a glass of orange juice.

He smiled at me and said “Wow, you’re beautiful, smart, and you can cook! I’m impressed!”

I laughed. “I can cook a little bit. I’m still learning.”

I sat down across from him and we both ate our food and talked. He must have been hungry as hell, because it seemed like he inhaled his food down quick as hell.