Running Fire (11 page)

“So you didn't get chewed out for the torn shirt?”

“Nah. My pa is a very strong person, believes in right and wrong. Doesn't put up with lies or deceit. We boys learned early on to be truthful even if it killed us.” Kell smiled fondly, holding her warm gaze. “The SEALs are the same way. At least in my platoon. No one lies to anyone else. We lay our cards out on the table. It's just a better way to live and survive.”

Lies.
Yes, Leah knew about lies. Hayden had been the consummate liar and she hadn't even fully realize it until after the divorce. She'd been so young, so gullible. Maybe the word was
ignorant
. “And what are your dreams today?”

Kell fell silent, thinking his way through the softly asked question. “Find the right woman, settle down and have some kids.”

“You'd leave your SEAL family?” she asked.

Opening his hands, Kell said, “I've seen a lot, done a lot, Leah. I've seen the belly of the beast since I was eighteen. I'm twenty-nine now. And I'm tired of always seeing the dark side of humanity. Loving a good woman, loving the child she carries in her belly, loving the little tyke when she or he is born. Those are the good things in life.”

“That sounds like a wonderful dream,” she whispered, touched by his honesty and sincerity. Leah didn't think Kell could ever lie. He had always been open with her. She could feel his vulnerability, and something else, but she couldn't define it.

“What are your dreams?” he asked.

“Mine?” Leah gave a ladylike snort. “I stopped dreaming when I was eight years old. I really miss dreaming because I used to have beautiful, colorful, happy dreams before that.”

Kell remained silent, weighing the emotion in her voice. “Well, maybe things will work out here and you'll start dreaming again,” he told her. “We aren't meant to go through life without dreams.” Because if a person didn't have dreams, it meant they were technically dead inside, no hope, no vision, no wanting to reach for that brass ring life gave everyone a chance to grab.

Leah studied his shadowed face in the silence. She felt no anxiety, no worry when Kell was here. Why? She always felt safe with him around. The first and only man to make her feel like that. Getting up her courage, she whispered, “Would you sleep by me tonight?” She saw his mouth soften.

“Anything you want,” he promised, unwinding and picking up the empty MRE. “I'm going to wash up and then I'll join you.”

“Yes,” she said, “I'd like that.”

* * *

B
Y
THE
TIME
Kell joined Leah, she was asleep. This time, she had turned on her left side, her back to him. Turning off the penlight, he brought the blanket up over them. He didn't make the mistake of holding her. There were six inches separating them. Kell could feel her body heat, the fragrance of her. Inhaling it, he felt his entire body begin to relax. And very quickly, he slid off into an abyss, physically exhausted from the ten-mile run he'd had to undertake to get to that crash site and retrieve that black box.

His last thought was of the sweet fragrance of Leah's hair, so close to his face. Did she have any idea of the woman she was? He wanted to be the man to show her just how sensual, how beautiful, she really was.

Leah felt darkness eating at the edges of her sleep. She felt it was Hayden, like the predator he was, stalking her, watching her, wanting to kill her. A whimper escaped her as she turned to run away from him. She couldn't see him, but she sensed him. She could feel him wanting sex from her.

Kell felt Leah turn over, seeking shelter. His arms automatically curved around her shoulders as she snuggled closer. Dragging himself out of badly needed sleep, he heard a whimper escape her, her face burrowing into his neck, her left arm moving over his rib cage, drawing herself up against him, as if he were a shield that she could use to protect herself from the nightmare she was captured within.

His whole body flooded with heat as she curved into his long, lanky body. Groaning, Kell knew she wasn't looking for sex even if his body was reading her signals wrong. Silky strands of her hair fell across his jaw and chin. He could feel her breasts against his chest, rising and falling sharply. She was caught in a nightmare.

Forcing himself to full wakefulness, Kell felt her quiver, her breathing going erratic. “Shh, Sugar, it's okay,” he rasped, sliding his hand across her hair, stroking her shoulders and back. “Nothing's going to hurt you. It's all right...just hold on to me and you'll be okay...” Leah clung to him, as if he were her last hope on this planet. It tore at Kell. She was breathing irregularly, almost hyperventilating.
Dammit!

He'd give anything to be inside her head, to find out what was scaring her out of her mind. Wrapping his arms tightly around Leah, he hauled her against him, tangling his legs among her own, just trying to protect her from whatever was chasing her.

He kept moving his hand slowly up and down her back, feeling how damp the T-shirt she wore had become. It reminded him so much of the flashbacks he'd get from time to time. How real they were. He'd be completely transported to the violent event, the present no longer existing, utterly imprisoned in the past, just as she now was.

Kell whispered her name against her ear, kissing her temple, pressing small kisses across her wrinkled brow. Leah whimpered again. Feeling helpless, he knew he couldn't have her scream. Not now. Not tonight with the Taliban so close. He rolled Leah onto her back, trying to shake her awake. Maybe that would pull her out of it. But she didn't awaken.

She's trapped in the event.

Kell's heart was pounding with urgent concern for Leah, wanting her safe but being unable to give her any safety at all because the monster was in her mind, from her past. And then, Kell followed his heart, which had never led him wrong. He curved his mouth against her lips, inhaling a cry that tore out of her. He felt Leah jerk awake in the middle of the scream, felt her suddenly freeze against him. He moved his mouth gently against hers, feeling the softness of her lips, the cry fading away in her throat. His nostrils flared, dragging in her scent.

As he moved his mouth more deeply, rocking her lips farther open, tasting her, he felt her suddenly relax, felt her arms slowly ease around his shoulders. She felt so damn good beneath him, her lips responding shyly to his.

Kell felt her heartbeat change, strengthen, and then she melted into his arms as he moved his mouth teasingly across hers. Now, her breathing became shallow, her fingers digging into his shoulders, telling him she liked what he was doing. Had she ever really been kissed? Because Kell could feel the subtle shift of her entire body beneath his, felt her awakening, wanting, asking for more without quite knowing how. Somewhere in his deteriorating mind, he knew she was innocent...

There was no going back. Kell cradled Leah in his arms, molding his mouth to her lips. He heard a little moan of pleasure vibrate in her slender throat, indicating that she was enjoying their kiss as much as he was. How far to go? Was he like Grant? Pushing himself on her? Was that what was happening right now?

Yet as Kell sipped her lips lightly, inviting her to come to him, she did. This wasn't one-way. Leah wanted what he was sharing with her. She was awake now. Kell could feel it. He eased from her mouth, breathing raggedly because his erection was so damned hard and he was in so much pain, he wanted to double over.

Leah's lashes barely opened. Kell saw desire burning in the shadowy depths of her eyes, felt her hands restlessly moving against his shoulders, opening and closing. Wanting. Not knowing what to ask for, but wanting it all the same. She didn't give the normal signals a woman would if she wanted more. As if...as if she honestly didn't know how to communicate with a man when it came to her needs.

Staring down at her, lost in the soft curves of her, her body warm and supple, Kell closed his eyes for a moment, exerting control over himself. How far to go? How far did Leah want to go? Where did nightmares end? Dreams begin? Kell wasn't at all sure as he opened his eyes, studying Leah with intensity, trying to read her mind.

He moved his hand, pushing strands away from her face, holding her slumberous gaze. He'd barely kissed her. He was more just stopping her scream from ringing throughout the cave than giving her a real, hot, long, deep kiss.

“Leah...Sugar...you've got to tell me how far to go here...” His voice was thick and ragged.

Her breath was chaotic, her body tense, hungry and restless. Leah had awakened in Kell's arms, his mouth against hers absorbing the scream that had torn out of her. Drowning in his dark, intense gaze, Leah could feel him straining to hold himself in check. Her mind gyrated. The past haunted her. But this was Kell. And this was
now
.

Fragments of the nightmare hung before her. She saw the tightness of his mouth, the desire kindled in his eyes for her. Her lips moved and her throat constricted. It felt so good to be in Kell's arms, to feel his long, hard body solidly against hers. Leah could feel his erection pushing against her belly and the sensation burned into her, making her feel wanted, desired. Not hunted. Not stalked. But desired. She could feel his hand cradling her head and neck. He was holding himself very still, asking her what she wanted. No man had asked her that before.

“Just,” she whispered unsteadily, “kiss me?” Because she didn't know what else to ask for. She saw his eyes change, grow warm, the hardness leaving his face. Felt his arms loosen slightly around her, making her more comfortable beside him. He guided her to his side and she missed his warmth and weight pressing against her wildly throbbing body.

“I can do that,” Kell rasped, studying her expression, trying to get a read on Leah. There was such innocence in her expression. A kiss? That was all she wanted? Okay, that was fine with Kell. It was something to build upon, a slow, easy way to introduce her to himself in a sensual way. He moved his fingers across her cheek, feeling the softness, the velvet quality of her flesh. “Leah, if something doesn't feel good to you, stop me. You understand?” Kell saw confusion in her eyes. Leaning down, he moved his lips against her cheek, her brow and then barely grazing her lips. “Tell me you'll say something?” he rasped against her wet mouth. “This is about pleasure, not pain, darlin'. I want you to enjoy every second of this with me. Okay?”

“I—will...”

Satisfied, Kell grated, “Just a kiss...” He moved his fingers across her scalp, felt her lips open in response, her lashes sweeping closed. Kell sensed Leah didn't really know the kiss of a man who loved her, who cherished her. She'd known Grant's abusive hands and body, but had never experienced real love. He whispered her name against her mouth, as if it were a prayer shared between them, sliding his fingers in a light massage across her scalp.

Barely touching the corners of her mouth with his tongue, Kell felt her arch and moan, trying to capture his mouth with her own. Smiling, he whispered, “Sugar, we're taking this nice and slow...let me show you just how beautiful you are...” He touched her lower lip with his own. Moving his fingers from her scalp, he trailed them around her slender throat, feeling her pulse fluttering wildly beneath his fingertips. He left her mouth, moving to her ear, tasting the lobe, hearing her take a sharp intake of breath.

She couldn't lie still against him, her hands needy, gripping him, releasing him, as if she didn't understand what her body was asking of her. Kell knew she wasn't a virgin, but dammit, she behaved like one. Untrained. Her own body hidden from her sacred womanhood.

Moving the tip of his tongue around the outer edge of her ear, lightly nipping her lobe, he felt her tense, her hips reactive, pushing hard against his.

Clenching his teeth for a moment, Kell throttled his urge. She was whimpering, her body making ancient, unconscious moves, her hands not knowing, but somehow searching for him, asking for more. Much more.

Kell moved back to her mouth, opening his eyes, looking down into her drowsy green ones. Yeah, Leah was hot. Really hot. Bothered. Needy. He could feel her quivering and tensing, her hips urgent against his. Did she really want just a kiss? Kell didn't know and he wasn't going beyond what she'd asked for. He didn't dare. To take Leah without her express permission was to take control away from her. And dammit, he wasn't going to be that man. Her body was sacred to her. To him. If she wanted more, she'd show him, somehow, someway. Give it voice. And Leah might be a neophyte at making love, but Kell was going to be content to cherish her mouth, kiss her senseless, let her know how a real man should treat her.

He cupped her cheek, angling her mouth so he could take their kiss deeper. She was bold, unafraid, and he smiled to himself. After all, Leah was a warrior woman. Not someone who flew a desk. Her lips were hungry, wanting, strong and demanding against his mouth.

Her hand slid up the column of his neck, fingers curving around to his nape, pulling him against her. Oh, yeah, she liked this. Just as much as he did. Kell slowly slid his tongue inside her mouth. For a moment, she quieted, as if not knowing what to do next. It told Kell plenty.

He started all over again, easing from her mouth, her irregular, moist breath sporadic against his cheek. Moving his tongue to one corner of her mouth, he teased her. She liked it, moaning, pressing her breasts against his chest. Then, the other corner. He kept his hands away from her breasts, though he was burning to touch them, to tease her and pleasure her.

Just a kiss.

As Kell moved his tongue to the other corner of her lips, Leah automatically parted them more, turning her mouth toward his. Yeah, she got it, and she liked it. She was a fast learner. He felt pleasure thrum through him, her enjoyment everything to him as he slid his tongue along her slick lower lip.

A whisper of a cry vibrated through her throat and Kell lavished her lower lip. She trembled against him, her fingers digging into his shoulder. Nothing gave him pleasure like feeling his woman respond naturally, openly to him. There was no guile and no manipulation with Leah. A woman who knew her body could employ artful teasing and knew how to set a man on fire. Leah was completely unaware of her own body's needs and wants. She had no idea of how to pleasure her man.