Running on Empty (22 page)

Still completely confused, I give them both my best fake smile as they walk up to the table. “Trace is going to take Blake home, I think, right Trace?”

“Yeah, I think so. If that’s okay with him,” he says looking at me. He then turns toward Blake and adds, “Sorry buddy, I need your help moving some of my heavier furniture. My cousin and Harlow helped me load it, but I’m gonna need help unloading it. That okay with you? Then I’ll drop you at your place.”

I watch as Blake looks at Harlow and as Harlow looks from Blake to Trace. Then Harlow gives Trace a look I know well, the ‘we are so gonna have a talk later’ look. What the hell is going on? I feel like I’ve landed in some weird episode of
The Twilight Zone
. Trace looks at Harlow with his eyes wide. “What?”

“Nothing,
honey
,” she says a little too sweetly. “Alright, well, you boys get out of here then. I need my girl-time with Alex.”

Trace and I both get up from the table and all four of us walk into the living room.

Blake stops by the couch and turns to me. “I need to change and then we’ll be off. I’m pretty sure most people are out of their pajamas by this time.”

I look down and laugh to myself because it didn’t even dawn on my until this very moment that we are
both
still in our pajamas.

“Um…evidently not in this house.” I motion toward the bedroom. “I moved your clothes into my room. They’re in my armoire on the bottom shelf. You can change in there or in the bathroom.”

“Thanks.” He turns to walk to the bedroom. “I’ll only be a minute and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

This is not how I planned the rest of the day going. I really wanted to watch
Pretty in Pink
with Blake – next up in the John Hughes marathon, play some more tennis – because I wanted a rematch…
I know his last serve was out
, and make him his “thank you” cake.

This sucks.

I turn to Harlow to ask her if
she
wants to watch
Pretty in Pink
with me, but she and Trace are evidently knee deep in a very involved conversation. Sighing loudly, I make my way across the living room to go find the girls. They’re going to be just as happy as I am about the turn of events.

“Girls!” I shout walking down their hallway. I open Nycole’s and Kyndall’s room and see all three of them all setting up for a tea party. Even Nycole. I take a second to observe them, because I have a feeling this is the last time they’ll be in this good of a mood for the rest of the day. And quite possibly tonight. Harlow and I definitely have our work cut out for us.

“Girls.” Three sets of eyes land on my face. “Blake has to go now, so I need you to come say goodbye to him. Be sweet and tell him thank you for being such a big help, okay?”

Immediately, Rylie’s eyes begin to tear up, but I can tell she’s trying to be strong. Frowns on all of their faces, they slowly put down their tea cups and walk out of the room. Following them into the living room, I see Blake exiting the bedroom in the same clothes he wore yesterday. Yep – he still looks as good as he did then.

Immediately, Rylie runs across the room to Blake and he opens his arms to catch her. He gives her a big bear hug and then gently sets her back on her feet. He crouches down to the floor so he can look Nycole and Kyndall in their pitiful faces. “No sad faces, girls. Remember, we have a date for breakfast soon.”

He extends his arms to each of the other girls, one on each side, and squeezes them tightly – with Rylie right in the middle. “Promise me that you’ll help your mommy as much as you can. No fighting – deal?” They all nod their heads at him. “I’ll be getting reports from her. I expect to get only good ones. And if I do, I might bring something super special to our next breakfast date, okay?” The girls continue to nod at him as he rises from the floor. They each hug his legs and turn to look at me.

“Why don’t we watch some TV girls? Harlow? Can you put something on for them?” I’m starting to feel bad for Trace having to listen to Harlow ramble on. And seeing as though I know very well how it feels, I figure I’ll toss him a bone and attempt to distract her. She looks up at me, gives me some version of a smile, then looks at the girls giving them a real smile. I’m so gonna figure out what’s going on if it kills me. I turn to look at Blake.

He clears his throat and jerks his head toward the door. “Um, Alex – can I have a minute?”

“Sure,” I say in my pretend happy voice. I follow him to the door where he stops and turns around. He puts both arms around me, giving me a gentle hug. When he pulls back, he puts his hands on my shoulders and looks into my eyes. I get the feeling that he wants to tell me something.

“What?” Maybe his response will shed some light on what exactly has been happening since Harlow and Trace arrived.

“Nothing, Alex,” he says moving his face right in front of mine. “Listen, I just want you to know that you can call me if you need anything. I know Harlow’s here to help you if you need it, but I really want you to know that you can call me anytime. For anything…or for nothing at all. This weekend, well, it’s been one of the best weekends I’ve had in a really long time. I’m just sorry I had to mangle your hand in order for it to happen.”

He flashes me a brilliant smile and I think my heart literally just skipped a beat. God this man is beautiful. Especially when about two inches from my face. I shake my head to regain clarity.

I clear my throat because all of a sudden it feels like I’ve swallowed a bucket full of sand.

“Blake, spending the last couple of days with you, I’ve had the most fun I have had in years. Even though my hand was mangled and I seemed to cry…
a lot
,” I say with a little giggle. “This weekend, well – it made my heart feel whole again…if that makes sense.”

I wrap my arms around his waist, place my ear against his chest, and say quietly, “Thank you, Blake. You’ve helped me more than you could possibly ever realize.”

Through his chest, I hear a long exhale before he answers. “Alex, I would do anything for you. I hope you know that,” he says with his chin placed on the top of my head.

Squeezing him tighter, I chuckle lightly.

“Well if that’s true…then promise me you won’t let the girls use the whole freakin’ bag of chocolate chips next time.”

And then another wall collapses.

After quickly introducing Trace to the girls before he and Blake walk out the door, I find myself in my bedroom, lying flat on my back across the bed. Holding my hurt hand against my chest, I stare at the armoire where I put Blake’s clothes just hours ago.

So much has happened over the last twenty-four hours. I guess that’s the sign of a true friend; you can literally go years without speaking, but when you meet again you just pick up right where you left off, never skipping a beat. I smile to myself as I think of Blake joking with the girls in the kitchen, quoting movie lines with me, humming the Barney song, making breakfast…yeah, there’s something very comforting about this friendship. My heart feels peaceful, a feeling I haven’t felt in years.

I hear Harlow shouting something to the girls about “her” bathroom while she approaches my bedroom. Opening the door, she looks at me and smiles.

“There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Sorry, I had to run and catch Trace before he left. When I came back in, you were nowhere to be found.” She grabs a pillow and lies down next to me on the bed. “I know this sounds overly dramatic, which I am completely
not
, but it’s going to be weird not seeing him for a while.” She lets out a frustrated breath and covers her face with her hands. “What is
wrong
with me?”

Turning my head to face her, I laugh.

“Well, the list is so long that I have to break it up into categories and then subcategories…where would you like me to start?”

“Alex! I’m serious. I’ve never felt this way about a man. I usually just sleep with them and then conveniently lose their phone numbers.” She lets out a heavy sigh. “It’s weird. I feel like I can’t get enough of Trace. He’s different. I don’t know…it’s hard to explain.”

“Harlow, there’s nothing to explain. I’ve been there. I know how it feels when you start to
fall in love
.” I watch her eyes double in size. I can’t tell if the look on her face is from surprise that I actually said it or the idea of her actually being in love with
anyone
. I begin to laugh so hard at the look on her face that warm tears begin to stream out of my eyes and into my hair. Only Harlow can make falling in love this funny.

Trying to control my laughter I clear my throat and try to speak. “Harlow, seriously, it’s okay to have feelings for someone. It doesn’t make you a bad person. Actually, it makes you almost
human
.” Her mouth shoots open and she gasps dramatically. Then, she reaches over and smacks my arm. I, in turn, smack her back with my good hand which leads to a two minute long smackfest.

“Okay! Okay! Truce!” I shout. She gives me a long look, waiting for me to smack her one more time, something I’ve been known to do in this situation. She relaxes when she realizes she’s no longer in danger.

I smile widely at her, declaring my victory. “Well, glad we’ve gotten
that
out of our system.” I clear my throat again to finish what I started to say before our very mature smack battle. “Anyway…Harlow, I think it’s a good thing you to want to be around him. I know it scares you, but it’s scary for most people, not just you. Just look at all the happy couples out there; don’t you want even a little bit of that for yourself? Because, my dear, if anyone deserves that happiness it’s you.”

“Alex, I’m not even going to say how much you need to heed your own advice.” Harlow shakes her head. “But I will say that yes, it does scare me. I mean, I was there when Derek died too. I lived everyday with you, watching his death almost break you. It was then that I decided I would
never
allow myself to become that vulnerable with anyone. But I find myself thinking that Trace might be worth it.”

I can see the sadness in her eyes when she looks into mine. I know it’s hard for her to talk about what happened with Derek. We were all really close; those two were like brother and sister. I’m not even sure she had a chance to grieve because she jumped straight into “help Alex function in day to day life” mode. I give her a slight smile and turn my head in the opposite direction, looking once again at the armoire.

I understand how she feels. “Yeah, I get that Harlow. Completely.” The comfort of Blake’s friendship, the way it makes me feel, definitely makes me vulnerable. I never thought I would
ever
let anyone else into my life after Derek passed. But after spending the weekend with Blake, I can’t picture my life without his friendship. And I don’t want to. So, yeah, I completely understand where Harlow’s coming from.

I turn back to her and shrug my shoulders. “I guess you just have to figure out if he’s worth taking the chance. I have to agree with the old adage…‘It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.’ Luckily I had that love once, and I think you deserve to have it too, hopefully with a happier ending. But you’ll
never
have your happy ending unless you’re brave enough to open the book and start your story.”

Harlow sighs heavily.

“Alex, you can have more than
one
happy ending. It bothers me when you say things like that. You still have the rest of your life ahead of you. Are you really convinced that you have to spend it alone?” she reluctantly asks.

“It’s not that I’m convincing myself, I just can’t see it happening. I have too much going on to make time for that stuff and my girls get priority. Maybe when they’re older I can take time for me, but until then, I’m not going to abandon them while I pursue a failed love life. It’s just not going to happen. I’ve already accepted that and I really wish you would. You have someone in your life who makes you happy, let’s just concentrate on that for a while, okay?”

“Oh alright, Alex,” she huffs at me, “But I’m not dismissing this conversation completely, I’m just postponing it. Understand?”