Ryan's Love (Sawyer Brothers #1) (14 page)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Amber

The cookout turned out to be great. After a few little hang-ups and a much-needed breakdown from Bailey after her embarrassment, Ryan took me around, introducing me as his girlfriend. We got a mixture of reactions, though most people congratulated Ryan. Zoey in particular tried her best to appear happy that he had once again found someone who made him feel amazing. But I could see the irritation in her eyes every time Ryan showed me any sign of affection.

When Olivia brought Zoey up to me and said she was the doctor that took care of her after the wreck, my stomach felt uneasy. I was thankful Zoey had been there when Olivia needed her, yet I hated her earlier flirty behavior with Ryan. But that uneasy feeling evaporated when Olivia told Zoey I was her dad’s girlfriend. Seeing the look on Zoey’s face was one of those
oh hell yeah
moments.

Once darkness set in and the fire was lit, most people went home. Only a small group of us remained sitting around the fire, sharing some drinks and laughing. Bailey and I were drinking a bottle of whiskey Bill had given us, and she was hitting it hard because she was still slightly embarrassed about being caught dry-humping Jackson earlier. It was down to just the three brothers, me, and Bailey when she reached the point of wasted. As she held her hand in front of her face, we all laughed.

“How many fingers are you holding up, Bailey?” Noah asked.

“Seven,” she chirped enthusiastically.

“Oh yeah, all on one hand, huh?” Ryan asked, making me giggle.

“Yes, and twelve on the other.” She squinted like she was in a state of deep concentration.

“Hey, Bay, what do you think? You ready to go home and get some sleep?” I asked. I had been drinking, so I knew we would need a ride. But she was so loaded, I thought she would be ready to go.

“Nope,” she responded quickly.

“Come on, Bailey, why don’t you let me get you home? You’re gonna feel like shit in the morning, sweetheart.” Jackson stood up and took a step toward her, holding out his hand.

“Oh please, Jack, you need to just chill out and take a Viagra. I’m fine, and I’m not ready to leave.”

Everyone froze, staring at Bailey intently. Had she truly meant to say that, or was that a drunk slip-up?

Jackson leaned in and placed one hand on each arm of her chair, then lowered himself until his face was only inches from hers. “I can reassure you, baby, I can go all night long, and I don’t need a little blue pill to make that possible.”

She tilted her head back and looked up at him with a puzzled expression.

He smiled and licked his lower lip, and the way he looked at Bailey, showing sure signs of lust, was causing me to feel a little overheated. Jackson’s sexual energy seemed to flow off him in waves. He never tried to hide it, and he sure as hell didn’t care who was around when he decided to lay it on even thicker.

His lips were so close to hers that it looked as if he was going to kiss her. Instead, he murmured, “When you’re not so drunk, I’ll show you just how long I can go. I’m pretty damn sure I can outlast you, sweetheart.”

Bailey turned her head in my direction, suddenly looking a little more sober than she had three minutes ago. Our gazes locked, and her eyes widened just a little. “I meant to say Valium,” she whispered in horror.

The guys chuckled, doing their best to muffle it with their hands. I too wanted nothing more than to break out in laughter, but I had to be the supportive friend to my inebriated buddy. “I knew exactly what you meant, Bay. They’re just being typical men.”

Ryan tickled my side, and I swatted his hand away. Now was not the time. I had to keep a straight face, and he was making that even harder to accomplish.

***

The last six weeks have been unbelievable. I’d grown closer to Ryan, and Olivia had truly allowed me in as well. She and I had become friends, and I loved her as much as I loved her father.

I had spent a lot of time at their house, and Olivia even spent the night with Bailey and me a few times. In fact, that girls’ night at our apartment was one of my favorite times with her. I couldn’t remember ever laughing so hard. Olivia truly is an amazing, fun-loving girl, and she fit right in with Bailey and me. It was almost scary how well she could handle us.

“No, not your right foot. I said your left foot,” Olivia said, trying to teach me a dance called the pony swing. The twang in her voice always made it hard for me not to laugh, especially when she got so worked up. Olivia pointed at my feet, laughing through her instructions. “Don’t you know the difference between your left and right?”

“Okay, okay.” I tried to be serious, but the moment I looked up and our eyes met, I broke out in laughter once more. “It’s hopeless, you do know that, right?” I asked as I hunched over, holding my stomach. My ribs felt like they were on fire from our continuous giggling, and my cheeks ached from smiling.

Ryan sat on the deck drinking a beer while I failed to follow Olivia’s instructions out on the lawn. I was completely hopeless at the dance and swore I had no chance of ever learning it. All that hip swinging and arms tangling and twisting were entirely too complicated. I had to look like a crazy girl running from a swarm of bees. Ryan’s occasional chuckle from the porch only made concentrating on her instructions harder. Each time my gaze met his, I would only laugh more.

I was just glad I was entertaining to them, allowing them the chance at happiness. Their laughter intertwined, making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And if I had to make a fool out of myself to hear it, I was more than happy to oblige.

I would honestly do just about anything for the two of them. They had quickly become my family.

Epilogue

Ryan

Six months later…

Life was too short, and it could all change in the blink of an eye. One day you have it all, a beautiful wife, the perfect daughter, only to have it come crashing down around you when you least expect it.

I never thought for one second I would have been burying my wife at the age of thirty, being left to raise our young daughter alone. I had never planned for something like that. I mean, who truly does?

We all have the tendency to grow into a comfortable pattern and forget what truly matters. Life’s not about the money you have or the car you drive. It’s about the people you spend even the dullest moments with and the memories you create that hold you together, even when you feel like you’re crumbling inside.

I never told Claire the things I should have. Yes, she knew I loved her, or at least I thought she did, but I can’t honestly say now that I knew that for sure at the time. I grew into a pattern where I just let life happen, and I never took the time to stop and enjoy the small things.

I should have told Claire daily that I loved her. I should have thanked her for all the little things she did for me without a second thought or asking for thanks, even though she deserved it. I should have thanked her for giving me the greatest gift of all—unconditional love, even on the hardest of days. She was an amazing woman, and the best friend I ever had.

Not making sure she knew how much I loved her is a regret I will always live with.

And a mistake I never plan on repeating.

I stood in my dark kitchen, looking out the back door while silently taking in my future. Olivia and Amber were lying in the hammock, pointing up at the stars. Their laughter warmed me to my soul. It sounded almost musical and was one of the most beautiful sounds I had ever heard.

Amber had no idea what Olivia and I had planned for her tonight. The idea was to get her over here for dinner, and when she least expected it, I would swoop in and change everything.

I slid open the door as quietly as possible, then stepped outside and gently closed it behind me. I could see the tops of their heads as they lay side by side, still pointing up at the sky.

“Look at that cluster right there,” Amber said. “It sort of looks like a slice of pizza.”

“Pizza?” Olivia giggled. “Are you hungry or something? Because that doesn’t even slightly resemble a slice of pizza.”

Amber lay quiet for a few seconds before I heard her whisper, “Well, I think it looks like pizza, or maybe pie.”

“Okay, Am, I guess if you insist,” Olivia sarcastically responded.

They had grown closer than I ever imagined. Olivia looked forward to Amber being here with us. On the days when I worked a late shift, she would beg me to stay at Amber’s place. Amber made it clear she loved having Olivia over, so it had become a recurring event. The two of them had really come a long way. I could feel the love they shared for each other, which in turn made mine even stronger.

I walked around the side of the hammock closest to Amber and held my hand out toward her. She arched a brow and looked up at me, questioning me with her eyes.

“Olivia and I thought we would take a walk down by the lake,” I answered her silent question.

She placed her hand in mine, and I gently tugged. When she stood before me, gazing up at me with her beautiful brown eyes, I couldn’t resist kissing her before I gripped her around the waist and pulled her toward me. The moment my lips touched Amber’s, her body melted against mine. A moan in the back of her throat made me grin against her lips.

Olivia cleared her throat, and I pulled back and rested my forehead against Amber’s.

“Let’s take that walk,” she whispered.

I nodded and stepped back, allowing her to move around me as I held out my hand, indicating that Olivia should follow her. When our gazes connected, Olivia was giving me that knowing smile. She too knew our lives were about to change, and we were both okay with that.

The moment I stepped off the deck, Amber linked her fingers with mine, and I placed my arm over Liv’s shoulders and pulled her close. I had talked over what I was about to do with Olivia in great detail. I wanted to be sure she was willing to share our lives with Amber just as much as I was. In the end, we both knew we were in this together as always, and Amber was the one we had chosen to have by our sides.

Amber loved the lake. Each time we walked along it, she looked out at the water with such a peaceful expression upon her face. Just like now.

Olivia noticed Amber’s calm demeanor at the same time I did, and when my daughter smiled up at me, I winked. Amber’s love for this place was one of the biggest reasons I had chosen the water’s edge as the place to ask Amber to share her life with us, forever.

I removed my arm from Olivia’s shoulder and turned to face Amber as Olivia stepped to the side, allowing herself the perfect view.

I took Amber’s hands in mine, and she looked up at me before shifting her eyes toward Olivia. “What are the two of you up to?” she asked

“Do you know how much we both love you?” I asked.

Her throated bobbed as she swallowed, and her eyes instantly filled with tears. A gentle nod told me she thought she knew. But she truly had no idea. She couldn’t ever comprehend the amount of love I felt for her, and the love I saw in Olivia’s blue eyes toward Amber was just as overwhelming. Each day our love for her only grows deeper and stronger.

“I love you both too, very much.” The emotion in her voice made her words come out as a whisper.

“You are so amazing and compassionate. Your kindness and willingness to accept us, flaws and all, confirms just how perfect you are for us.” I had rehearsed what I wanted to say, yet nothing was coming out the way I had planned. With Amber’s big doe eyes looking up at me, holding such love, my mind was becoming scrambled.

I lowered myself down on one knee and kept her hands held firmly in mine. “From the first time I saw you kicking the hell out of your tire,” I started, and she smiled at me, “I knew you were a breath of fresh air—feisty, but just what I needed. Even in those first moments, I felt like in one way or another, you would change my life. Whether it be as a friend or more, I just knew I wanted you in my life.”

She blinked, and a tear fell down her cheek. “I felt the same way.”

“Good.” I lowered my left hand and reached into the pocket of my jeans. Without looking up, I heard her breath hitch when she saw the ring I held between my fingers.

“I’m glad you felt that way too, because each day since then it has been next to impossible not to imagine you in my life. Olivia and I are asking you to become our family. We want to share every smile and all our laughter with you. Even in the bad times, it’s you we want to have helping build us back up.”

Amber’s gaze switched to Olivia, and my sweet girl offered her a reassuring nod.

“Baby,” I said, pulling Amber back to me, “we don’t want to spend another day without you right here where you belong, with us.”

I lifted the ring higher as her lower lip quivered.

“Marry me,” I said.

She covered her mouth with a hand, and the tears fell heavier. She lowered it and opened her lips to speak, only to take in a deep, calming breath before trying once more.

“Yes,” she whispered. “I’ll marry you.”

The nervousness that had settled deep within my stomach was instantly replaced with an overwhelming urge to hold her close. I slid the ring onto her finger and stood quickly before pulling her against my chest. “I love you, Am. So much.”

Tilting her head back, she looked up at me and smiled. “I thought I had felt love in the past. I was sure of it. But now I know it was just an illusion I’d created in my mind, because nothing has ever felt like this. Nothing has ever given me the joy you and Olivia give me. Everything else was just the path that led me to the two people I was meant to love.”

She reached out for Olivia and pulled her closer. “I know now that anything I felt before wasn’t love because you two are the ones that taught me what true love is.”

***

Amber

Ryan was hovering over me, grinning in that satisfied way I love so much. His chest heaved as he tried to regain his composure. He was still securely tucked between my thighs as my legs remained locked around him. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss against my lips and lowered his body closer to mine.

“I think each time I’m inside you, it gets more intense.” He kissed me once more before rolling to the side, taking me with him.

I sighed in disappointment when he was no longer pressed against me.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He smiled as if he could read my thoughts. “Never too far, baby. That’s a promise.”

“Me too,” I assured him.

I fell asleep curled safely against his chest as he gently stroked my shoulder, filling my mind with peaceful assurance. Waking up with Ryan next to me, naked, was something that would never get old.

I didn’t want to leave him, but I wanted to help Olivia with breakfast. It was Pancake Saturday, and I had grown to love helping her whenever I stayed overnight on those days. Saturday mornings were a tradition she and Ryan had created together, and I wouldn’t do anything to change it. I slipped on my sleep shorts and a tank top and quietly exited the room, closing the door behind me.

As I walked down the hall toward the kitchen, I could already hear the clinking of pans and the cupboard doors shutting. Olivia had the radio set to a country music station, and words about love and life filled the open area.

She turned just in time to see me emerge from the hall and offered me a smile. “Good mornin’, sunshine,” she chirped.

Her happiness and fun-loving attitude was a mirror image of her father’s. They both always had the ability to make even the worst day so much better.

“Good morning,” I said as I stepped up to her side. She already had the batter mixed, and a bag of chocolate chips sat next to the bowl, still unopened. The pan was on the burner, greased and heating. “So what do you need me to do?” I asked, letting her lead the way.

“You can add the chocolate.” She pointed to the bag. “Last time, Dad said I had more than enough.” She rolled her eyes at the ridiculous thought of there being such a thing as too much chocolate.

“As if that is even possible,” I said as I tore the bag open and began adding the chips. She grinned when I went a little overboard. I would happily endure Ryan complaining to see that bright smile on her face. It isn’t like he wouldn’t eat them anyway.

I tilted the whipped cream can upside down and sprayed it onto the top of the pile of pancakes Olivia had placed on a plate. I swiped my finger across the peak it had formed and lifted it to my lips.

Ryan stepped up behind me and reached around, wrapping his hand around my wrist. He then lifted my finger toward his mouth and placed his lips over the tip, sucking lightly.

The flick of his tongue mixed with the gentle suction instinctively made me squeeze my thighs together. The sense of need combined with the overpowering love that rushed through me gave me chills. Was it normal to be so consumed with one man that everything around you just disappeared with one single touch?

The thoughts racing through my mind were inappropriate, given that Olivia was only a few feet away.

He released my finger and carefully let out a slow, calming breath. When I knew I was relaxed enough not to melt to the floor, I looked back over my shoulder and met his heated stare. The smirk on his lips told me he knew exactly what he had just caused. The arrogant ass played a hard game of teasing.

“Well, that wasn’t really what I’d planned on tasting first thing this morning, but it’ll have to do. For now, anyway,” he said.

I narrowed my eyes at him as he chuckled and slowly backed away. That was cruel.