SAHM I am (33 page)

Do you know how impossible it is to climb a catwalk in a mermaid dress and spiked heels? Guess this is why actors do dress rehearsals
in costume.
There was absolutely no way for Becky and me to raise our feet high enough to reach the ladder rungs without just pulling our dresses past our waists and climbing in our never-minds. So here I was, minutes before the start of the processional (or descentional, rather), halfway up a ladder, with all the backstage guys gawking. Becky shimmied up pretty quick, but I snagged part of the dress on the ladder. Since it was all bunched up around my middle, I couldn’t see where it was stuck. Becky was now frantically motioning to me to hurry, but all I could do was shake my head and point to my dress, mouthing,
I’m stuck!

By this time, the people below must have figured out my dilemma. They cued the musicians to continue the prelude, while Jeanine sat up in the catwalk on her moon, looking pale and faint. It should have occurred to me, I suppose, to wonder how she got up there. Turns out she had the good sense, before they opened the theater, to have the moon lowered. She climbed up and got a free ride. Grrrrr…She is the bride. She is the bride. She is the bride….

Anyway, back to me stuck on the ladder. I was starting to wonder if my arms were going to fall off, or if it might be more comfortable to simply kick my shoes off rather than stand on the ladder in heels. The thought of nailing the manic stagehand from last night with one of the spiked heels did appeal to me. Suddenly, I heard and felt someone below me on the ladder.

It was Tom, climbing the opposite side. When he reached the rung I was on, he slid his feet between mine. We were smashed together real close, with only the ladder between us. “I hear you’re stuck,” he said. I nodded at him. He wound his hand under a rung, into the folds of my dress, feeling along me and the ladder until he found where I was snagged. Then, he hooked one arm around the ladder so he could use both hands to free me.

Maybe it was being thirty feet off the ground, clinging to a ladder, with my husband’s hands fussing with my dress…but I had the most amazing case of butterflies I’ve had in years! I was having trouble breathing, and all I could think about was how close we were and the scent of his cologne. “You look great,” I whispered to him.

He gave me this big grin and glanced pointedly down at my still-exposed legs. “Thanks. So do you.”

Alas, he freed my dress too soon, and clambered back down the ladder while I resumed my climb up.

After that, things progressed as planned, mostly. McKenzie did look like a fairy princess—in an overdone toy-dress-up-
kit sort of way, but cute nonetheless. When she reached the front of the theater and climbed the steps to the stage, having scattered rose petals down the aisle, she turned to watch Morris on the horse, and the moment that dumb horse stepped on one of her rose petals, McKenzie started wailing, “The horsey is squishing my
flowers!
” As the audience laughed, I tried to quiet her. But she would have none of it. “Bad horse! Naughty horse! You’re gonna get a spanking!” Her voice sailed right over “Ride of the Valkyries” as if it were “Brahm’s Lullaby.”

By now, we’d lost control of both the audience and the flower girl. I didn’t know what to do—try to calm her down or take her backstage. Tom’s great-aunt sitting in the front row solved the problem for me. She offered McKenzie a chocolate kiss, which promptly shut off the tears and made the woman my hero for life. McKenzie’s chomping on the chocolate drop left her with a brown smear around her mouth and a little stain on her dress, which belied the idea that she was “mature for her age”—but I can live with that.

Dulcie

My SAHM Girls,

Rosalyn’s topic this week was supposed to be about resolving conflicts. But it seems that she has her own to deal with. And she needs our help.

For three years, Rosalyn has always been there for us—ready with helpful advice, encouragement and inspirational
stories. She’s never complained or griped about her own circumstances but has given to us from her heart.

But now, due to family issues, she has grown discouraged and weary. So dispirited, in fact, that she has resigned from the loop, convinced we no longer need her. But is that true? Can we really imagine a SAHM I Am loop without the pleasant wisdom of our sister Rosalyn? I can’t!

So I am asking all of you, even you lurkers out there, that for this week’s topic we not have a discussion. Instead, let’s send personal notes of encouragement and love to dear, dear Rosalyn, and ask her to rejoin the loop. She needs a ton of cyber-hugs, and I know you ladies will come through for her, just as we have for all of you at one time or another. E-mail her at her private address: [email protected].

God bless you all!

Connie Lawson

SAHM I Am Loop Mom

Wasn’t she supposed to be home Sunday evening? I haven’t heard a word from her since she sent her last Branson report. (Wasn’t that hysterical? Jonathan and I went over to Brenna and Darren’s and had an e-mail-reading party, complete with popcorn and soda. It was better than a movie!)

By the way, Jonathan is applying to a church in upstate New York. We don’t know if anything will come of it, but we feel ready to return to the ministry. Now that we have things worked out between us, I’m actually excited about being a pastor’s wife. But I’m also excited because this city has
a university with a great PhD program in history. And Jonathan is absolutely 100% committed to my getting a doctorate. Now, Lord, please grant me patience….

Love,

Phyllis

Dear Rosalyn,

Zelia, Phyllis, Dulcie, Brenna and I want to encourage you to come back to the SAHM I Am loop. I e-mailed Connie after she announced your decision to the loop, and since I’ve known you both for so long, she felt it would be okay to tell me the whole story about you and your sister. I explained it to the other four girls, and we just want you to know we are really sorry that you’ve been carrying around this pain for so long all alone. If we had known, we could have been praying for you and encouraging you. Please rejoin the loop so we can support you like we are supposed to. But if you return, you have to start being more honest with everyone—otherwise it defeats the purpose of belonging to a group like SAHM. I hope you’ll come back, and that you and Veronica can start a new, positive phase in your relationship.

Much love,

Jocelyn

I haven’t heard from her, maybe she and Tom decided to get stuck on the ladder again after the ceremony…they certainly sounded quite cozy up there…:)

Zelia, you are a bad girl! They probably stayed an extra night so they could go ring shopping, remember? So, are we all on for chatting tonight? I’ve got a great Evelyn story for you. It can’t rival Dulcie’s wedding story, but I think you’ll like it anyway.

See you tonight!

Jocelyn

Dear Rosalyn,

Connie put me back on the SAHM list after she told me about your “this town ain’t big enough for the two of us” e-mail. I had no idea Mama and Daddy’s attitude was such a big deal to you. You always act like it don’t make no never-mind to you.
Contrary to your suspicions, I didn’t quit my job or join the loop just to ruin your life. Your quality of life isn’t high enough on my priority list to merit ditching my career for it, but you’ve always had a rather high opinion of your own importance.

You’re my big sister, and for some crazy reason, I look up to you, admire you and want to be like you—goes along with being the little sister, I guess. I’ve always thought you were very unselfish and brave to stay home with your children, and it’s paying off because they are turning out great. I guess I figured if it works for you, it would work for me, too. I love Frank’s kids, and I want to give them the best of who I am, not the leftovers. That’s why I’m staying home.

I joined your e-mail loop because you’re always talking about how great it is, and I know I’m going to need the help and support y’all give each other. I’m not trying to take your place, but I would like to understand you better. So if I promise to be good and not pester you, could I pretty-please be part of your e-mail loop? I don’t really want to be there unless you are, too. You know how
shy
I am…:) There ya go—what do you say, Sis?

Love,

Veronica

Rats! I was hoping she’d be home by now and able to chat with us, so I could tell you all together. I haven’t even told Phyllis yet…but since Dulcie doesn’t seem to be home yet, I’ll have to do this by e-mail instead.

I am extremely pleased to announce that Darren and I have decided to…
adopt!
But not a traditional adoption. Darren really, really wants the experience of being with me through a pregnancy and delivery. So, after a TON of prayer and discussion and research, we’ve decided to adopt an embryo. There’s this program called Snowflakes in California that facilitates adoptions of frozen embryos created during in vitro fertilization. They require a home-study just like Z’s and all that, then let “genetic parents” choose us to adopt their embryos. It’s a long process, and I’ve heard in vitro will be no picnic for me. The success rate can be quite low, too, which would mean more money for a second try. I have no idea where we’ll get the money, but this is what we believe we’re supposed to do. There are thousands and thousands of embryos, waiting for a chance to grow up. We didn’t like the idea of adding to them by doing our own in vitro with a sperm donor, so this is perfect. And because it’s set up like an adoption, we have an opportunity to know the genetic parents if we, and they, want. We started our home-study shortly after Easter, but Darren didn’t feel comfortable telling anyone yet. But I just couldn’t stand keeping it from my Green Eggs (and Ham) girls, so I convinced him to let me tell you, now that we’re nearly done with the home-study.

Both of us are just bursting with excitement! It will be an adventure, and we know it might be difficult, but at the end of it, if the Lord wills, we will have a child together. I wanted all of you to be the first to know.

Love,

Brenna

Okay, girls, this calls for a
celebration!
Our chat tonight is officially changed to a party! We’re talking snacks, music, the whole bit. You with me? And maybe Dulcie will surprise us and show up after all. This is great news, Brenna. I’m so happy for you both.

Love,

Z

Girls, I’m sorry to have disappeared on you for half a week! But we’ve been so busy, and the Internet room is quite expensive. So I won’t be able to stay on for long. I just wanted to let you all know we’re fine. Actually, we’re much more than “fine.” We’re…in Cancún. :)

Love,

Dulcie

Dulcie! DULCIE! Get your little self back online this instant and tell me WHAT IS GOING ON! CANCÚN? As in…Mexico?

I didn’t leave, actually. I was waiting to see if I got any response from you all. Oh, and Tom is sitting next to me. He says to tell you you’re sorta demanding, aren’t you? :)