Saint Kate of the Cupcake: The Dangers of Lust and Baking (13 page)

“Okay, well, enough of this pre-school ‘show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ thing,” I said briskly, folding my towel back up around me before I stood up. Anders stood up too, touching my arm to stay my exit.

“What did I say?” he asked perplexed.

“It’s not what you said per se; it’s that you live in a world that is largely separate from reality, especially in the looks department. I don’t want to be a slightly perverted deviation from the mini-hairless people you usually sleep with,” I explained, quite reasonably I thought.

“That wasn’t what I meant.”

“But true, nonetheless. Besides, you may have already insulted the
saunatonttu
,” I said archly.

“You’ve heard about the
sauna elf?”
he asked with a laugh as he smiled down at me. “That’s in Finland, though.”

“Maybe there’s one here on holiday. You’d better leave an offering for him to atone for your immorality or you might have an imaginary gnome after you for violating the sanctity of the sauna,” I said as I left him, still chuckling.

Chapter Ten

A
T
D
INNER
, J
ACK
S
AT
with his knee propped up on a spare chair and regaled our friends with an increasingly dramatic retelling of the accident. He was now airborne and somersaulting through the air before landing. I just rolled my eyes and smiled when anyone looked at me for confirmation, no sense in spoiling his fun and the ensuing game of one-upmanship as the men vied for the “worst fall” title with great enjoyment.

Anders kept his distance until after dinner. Jack was stationed on the couch, and I went into the kitchen to make tea, and Anders followed, ostensibly to help.

“Come skiing with me tomorrow,” he urged, moving to stand so close we were almost touching, completely invading my personal space. His large body made me feel small in comparison, which didn’t happen a great deal, given I was five foot ten and not exactly of fragile build.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I took a step backward.

“You keep saying that to me when I suggest the most interesting things,” he responded, standing up straight before flicking back a section of shiny blond hair that had fallen on his forehead. He was clearly amused. “We’re outside in the open, and it’s pretty cold, so what exactly do you think is going to happen? It’s one of the safest places to keep your virtue intact.”

“My virtue is hardly intact. I’m a woman in her thirties with two children.”

“Really? Then what are you worried about?” he asked teasingly with a smile. He had a point; outside in the snow was hardly a place you were going to get your gear off and succumb to the advances of a rogue, charming though he may be.

“Sure, why not?” I said, figuring it would be more fun with Anders than stuck to the bunny slopes with the others. “I’ll see you down here in the morning.”

“Let’s get an early start. I’ll meet you at eight thirty. We’ll get the first lift up.”

The weather the next morning was perfect: cold, dry, and sunny. The snow sparkled in the sunlight, and as I stood in the small secluded clearing with a view down to another quaint French ski village, the scene was so beautiful it look my breath away. Anders stood by my side, quietly looking at the trees. I have to admit I was having fun. Anders knew the mountain well and had taken me on some great off-trail runs, our skis squeaking through untouched virgin snow.

He was good company. The fresh air and exercise was as intoxicating as the bottle of wine we shared at lunch, and I was floating on a sea of well-being. He flirted outrageously, making me laugh. It had been a while since anyone but the local butcher had flirted with me, and he flirted with everyone. The woman I used to be, young and desirable, peeked out from the box I had stored her away in years ago when the changes brought about by age and motherhood had rendered me virtually invisible as an object of desire.

This was crazy and dangerous but so much fun, as long as it didn’t get out of hand, and by that, I meant myself. Anders was too handsome and smooth and obviously up for a bit of fun with someone who wouldn’t be an emotional entanglement, being already married. I wasn’t exactly immune to his charms, but I hoped that seeing it for what it was would stop my head being turned by it.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Anders said in my ear.

I jumped, not realizing he had moved so close. My skis tangled, and I lost my balance, falling sideways. I flailed wildly, trying to regain my feet, and grabbed Anders, who should have been solid enough to hold me up. I must have caught him by surprise too, though, because my weight overbalanced him, and we both went crashing into the snow. I landed flat on my back with a thud, winding myself. Anders tried not to land on me and threw himself sideways, landing on his side in the snow beside me with a loud “Oomph.” I lay there, trying to get my breath back and pretend it didn’t hurt that much.

“I’m sorry. Are you okay?” I asked finally, when I could. He bent down and unclipped our skis, freeing our legs before turning back.

“I’m fine,” he said with his incredibly sexy smile. “Are you hurt?”

Uh oh!
I thought. He was way too close.

“No, just a bit stuck at the moment.” I looked pointedly down at his body which was still half lying on top of me.

“Let me just check for injuries before you move. I did a first aid course as part of my national service.” He pretended to look, running his hand lightly down my arm and my side. The touch was muffled through the layers of clothing, but as his hand rose closer to my breast, my breath caught. He looked up and deliberately ran his hand over the raised area of my parka, and I felt my nipple tighten. He moved closer until our faces were centimeters apart. He moved his head sideways, readying for the kiss. His lips stayed there; only a small movement on my part and we would be kissing.

“Tell me you don’t want this.” His breath was warm against my mouth. My lips were parted, taking shallow breaths. My head was clouded, unable to think with him this close, wanting to kiss him but having the distant thought that I shouldn’t, even though I couldn’t remember why right now with him so close.

“Say it.” His lips brushed mine, featherlight, barely touching. All rational thought was swept away on a wave of need and desire.

“Kiss me,” I breathed, willpower broken. He cupped my face in his hands and brought our lips together, slowly moving his mouth against mine. I moaned, wanting more, and he deepened the kiss, his warm tongue entering my mouth to gently touch mine. We explored the wet heat of each other’s mouths, and my hand snaked up into his hair, twining in the thick blond strands. He drew himself up over me, resting his weight on his forearms, his large shoulders dwarfing my hands, his hips moving instinctively toward my pelvis.

Our kissing became more passionate and heated, and the small part of my brain that was still working wondered at the likelihood of anyone stumbling upon us. Given we hadn’t seen anyone for hours and we were well away from the main trails, it was probably safe. Distracted, I hadn’t noticed his hands opening the zip on my jacket as he started kissing my neck, and it wasn’t until I felt the cold air hit my chest that I became aware that he had lifted my undershirt and thermals to reveal my breast, virtually naked though the thin lace of my bra.

I gasped in shock, but then his hot mouth closed around my cold nipple, and all thought left, except the glorious sensation of his warm tongue moving over it and the gentle tugging as he sucked. There seemed to be a direct connection down to my sex, which started to throb, and I felt a wet bubbling warmth between my thighs. His hand slid down my stomach and under my pants to dance over my clit and dip inside me until I was groaning, completely lost.

The desire was unreasonable and irrational, but my body wanted to be possessed by his, and it wanted it now. I didn’t want to agonize about it, or think it through, weighing the outcomes. I wanted to have sex with Anders, and that was that. Consequences be damned; I’d think about it later.

Anders stripped his parka off and raised my hips to slide it under my legs. Then he quickly slid my pants down past my knees, taking my underwear with them. He fumbled in the pocket of his pants, pulling out a condom before opening his zip and pushing his ski pants down far enough to free his erection. I only got a quick glance at him as he rolled the rubber over himself, and I had a moment of slight panic at seeing him fully erect, which was more than sizable, before he was kissing me and lowering his body to press against mine.

He used his hand between us to guide his hard shaft until I felt it nudge the lips of my sex apart, and then he was sliding inside me, stretching me to the point of pain, heavy, thick, and hot. I shifted my hips a little to accommodate his size and moaned softly, urging him on as he surged up inside me, my hands on his smooth and tight buttocks, pressing him closer. Using his hard cock, he stabbed deeply into me, making me shiver with pleasure.

He then slid his hands down and under my hips, lifting slightly to change the angle so he went even deeper and harder, hitting a spot no one had reached in a long time, bringing a wildness to the pleasure enveloping me. I was swallowing the masculinity of him, even as he was piercing me, drinking him down with a need I hadn’t known was within me. I could feel the excitement building with the feeling of him as he started pounding faster inside me and a tingling in my clit before I exploded with a short scream and felt my bones melt as tides of pleasure rippled outward through my body. Anders threw his head back as he buried himself inside me again and again until, with a strangled cry, he collapsed on top of me. It had been quick and straightforward, no bells or whistles, but easily the best sex I’d had in years.

“Oh…holy…fuck,” I breathed softly when the power of speech returned. Anders raised himself up on his elbows to look at me.

“Is that good or bad?”

“Yes, no…both.” I was making no sense.

“Regrets already?” He seemed to tense.

“Not yet, but I’m still flooded by endorphins. It will probably come later, but right now I’m freezing my butt off.” It was true; I had the urgent physical need to get back into the warmth of my clothing. His jacket had certainly helped, but lying on snow, all the bare skin exposed was going numb.

“Right, yes.” He withdrew from me and climbed to his feet. He offered me a hand to help me up, hamstrung as I was by my pants around my ankles. As I refastened my pants, he picked up his jacket from the snow and shook it out. I took my time adjusting my clothing, until I couldn’t put off conversation any further. It hadn’t taken long for the guilt to swamp whatever other feelings I might have had, with the exception of the toe-curling shame and embarrassment at my own wanton behavior, which seemed able to co-exist alongside the guilt. I felt the need to escape and be alone for a while to work out what I was going to do now.

“I’m going to go back,” I mumbled, barely able to look at him. “I’ll see you later.”

“Wait,” he said. “Can we talk about this?”

“Um…I’m not sure what there is to say.”

“I thought you enjoyed it.”

“Yes, very much, but I’m married.” There was no point in denying it.

“Haven’t you ever cheated before?” He looked surprised.

My eyes flashed to his face as blood flooded my cheeks. “No!”

“So, why did you?”

“I…Let’s just call it a lapse in concentration.” I clicked my boots into my skis. “I’m sorry; I should probably be more gracious about it, but I just need some space to think things through right now. I’ll see you later at the lodge.” I finished more quietly and skied away.

I couldn’t sleep that night, and rather than keep Jack awake with my tossing and turning, I went down to the common room to make myself a hot chocolate and read for a while. My time alone that afternoon hadn’t exactly been productive, and I was squirming uncomfortably internally. Jack, as usual, noticed nothing, which made me unreasonably angry at him. I had the uncharitable thought that if he paid me more attention and satisfied me sexually that it wouldn’t have happened, so it was actually his fault. While that would have been comforting to believe, any deficits in my relationship with Jack were equally my fault, and he would hardly be tacitly encouraging me into an affair with another man.

I quashed the impulse to behave badly toward him and compound the problem, which was simply immature. Anders was fortunately absent from dinner, so at least I didn’t have to face him too, but then I spent the night wondering where he was. Probably out trying to seduce someone else now, I thought unkindly, then berated myself for such a mean thought. It’s not like he owed me anything, especially after my poor manners afterward, scampering away as soon as the deed was done.

I was waiting for the kettle to boil, tapping the spoon impatiently on the bench, when I heard a sound behind me and jumped a foot. Anders stood there in all his masculine glory, wearing only low riding pajama pants. He scratched the back of his head lazily, intentionally showing off his biceps and chest to their full advantage. My mouth hung open as my gaze traveled down his smooth and hairless chest, past the defined abs to the sexy V-shaped muscles just above his groin. I had no idea what they were called, but they were like an arrow pointing to what lay below. His grin showed that he knew exactly the effect he was having. He sauntered closer, and my mouth went dry. The kettle began to whistle, and for a moment I thought it was me. I turned quickly to switch it off, and I kept my back to him as I tried to regain my composure, which was more easily done if I wasn’t looking at him.