Saint's Sacrament - Sins of the Father (36 page)

“Sexual neglect is a form of relational abuse. It is neglectful to have intercourse with our spouse, girlfriend
, whoever it may be, and not be
in
the experience. Let me explain. It is easy for men to become sexually aroused. It is characteristically not a problem to ejaculate, to cum if you will, either. Of course age, medical issues and so forth can hinder that, but a healthy man can more times than not achieve orgasm with little to no problem. Women are not wired that same way, as most of you in here realize. Their orgasm has to be nurtured.

“With e
very thrust, we are communicating with our mate. Every thrust
means
something. It is a sentence, a feeling, a special series of words strung together. We as men do not always see it that way when we are having intercourse. To most men, it is simply having sex, engaging in coitus. He is trying to get a certain feeling and using his partner’s body as if she were a blow up doll. And,” he smiled, “there is nothing wrong with the utilization of a blow up doll, but when you have a flesh and blood partner, that is highly disrespectful, and his actions are as such. She is simply there to fulfill his needs.” He ran a hand along his cheek as he formulated his thoughts. “We see our thrusts during intercourse as a race to a finish line…something we do to climax, bust a nut, to jizz, whatever you want to call it.”

Loud laughter boomed through the auditorium
. He was just getting warm. This was only the tip of the iceberg.

“It’s true and though my terminology may be
—” he shrugged, “—unconventional, I am giving you the accurate mind-frame of a contemporary, sexually active man.” He looked at everyone seriously, his eyebrow furrowing. “This is what is happening in households all across the country, ladies and gentlemen. A couple, a man and woman, get home from work, right? They talk, go out to eat, or one of them cooks or maybe they cook together. Regardless, sustenance is addressed. If they have children, they spend a little time with them. Then, once it is time to go to bed, the woman is in there getting her hair ready for the next day, putting mud on her face and all that other crazy stuff you ladies do…” he smiled as more laughter erupted. “… and she may grab a book to read or her phone or computer while her husband or boyfriend is playing games online or on his television or just watching a movie—but they are doing their own thing. If they decide to engage in sexual activity, it may occur right after that. The man is, more times than not, the initiator. That is the how it is in nature classically as well, and we simply follow the path of other mammals in this regard.” He put both hands on his hips and sized up the crowd before continuing.

“I want to apologize
in advance for my language. I’m not known to be a safe bet when it comes to these discussions. Thus far, I’ve been very mindful of what I say, and how I say it. For those of you that have heard me speak in other venues, you know full well that I have been on my best behavior this evening.” He walked back to the podium and clutched the sides of the rich wood.

Someone whistled and applauded, causing him to grin.

“Well, that’s over with.” More laughter came, this time much louder. Saint grinned as he looked down at the podium during the ruckus. “I don’t want to be disrespectful or make anyone uncomfortable, but I have the largest allotment of time tonight because as I continue to speak, it tends to turn into
more
, into something else. I don’t stay on task like the other two speakers. They were organized, on top of their game and elegant in their delivery, though both were entertaining and enlightening. I’m, well, I am the black sheep of sex therapy.” The crowd burst in applause. “So,” he took a deep breath, “I am getting ready to tell you the difference in being a good ass fuck but nothing more, a lame motherfucker who is wasting your time as well as your partner’s, and a dynamic lover that will have your partner begging you for more.”

The crowd erupted in applause and laughter. He smiled at their acceptance.

“So, let’s go back to the couple I painted the picture of for you. So the man may whisper in her ear and ask, ‘Are you awake?’”

A few people laughed.

“Or, he may just snuggle up to her with a big ass hard on, letting her know, via his cock pushed into her ass, that he wants some.” This garnered more laughter. “Then, what will usually happen after that is, the woman will be on her back. Missionary is the default position and I’m not downing missionary, it actually is a beautiful position, but for the sake of this illustration and our puritan standards, it is the go-to position, it’s habitual, comfortable. Okay, so the man will kiss her a few times, lie on top of her, play with her breasts, maybe suck her nipples,” Saint shrugged, “maybe insert his finger inside of her, too. If she is lucky, he’ll run it along her clitoris. After that, no less than five minutes later, he’ll be inside of her. He won’t do a slow build up and work up his speed; he will jackhammer with little to no regard pretty soon after entering her. Now, I’m not talking about quickies. Those have a different set of rules. I’m talking about just a typical night of lovemaking. Now, he is just trying to cum, each thrust and the bond it has the potential to make is totally ignored. His body is trying to connect with hers, and hers is trying to communicate with his, but,” Saint shook his head, “he ignores it. All he cares about is his release.

“
He wants the climax, not understanding that he is missing the exquisite ride on the way to it,” He gestured to stress his point, his hand moving through the air like an airplane negotiating the runway. “He will never experience the type of orgasm he is truly capable of because of this and he won’t give her the type of orgasm her body and spirit needs, because she won’t speak up. She just wants him off of her and to go back to sleep or continue doing whatever it was she was doing. Sex is now drudgery. The beauty of the act is replaced with disgust.” Saint took another deep breath and looked out at the crowd, his tone serious. “And it’s sad. She would be more receptive to him if he took the time to learn his lover. We have to learn ourselves, and our partner. We have to understand our needs and how our bodies work. If the man in this story cared about all of that, and if she wasn’t so afraid to speak up and love their relationship enough to tell him the truth, things may be different.

“It’s sad because
the man has abused the woman he loves, and he doesn’t even know it. And she, in turn, is abusing the relationship by staying silent. I had to repeat that, because it is crucial.”

Someone yelled out, “
What if all there is time for are quickies?”

This caused a rolling tide of laughter. Saint paused and grinned.

“There is nothing wrong with quickies. Sometimes, as I’ve stated in several of my books, they are necessary. Sexual release is
necessary
and speaking of which, your question flows right into my next comment. Some people may argue with that, saying there are individuals who live perfectly wonderful lives not engaging in sexual activity, including masturbation. Trust and believe, they’ve replaced that drive with something else. You don’t get out of this life, created as a sexual being, without a need to release that tension, that energy. It is coming out, being demonstrated in some kind of way. I, of all people, understand this.” He brought his hands forward, tapping his fingertips together in front of him. “This coming of togetherness—when it is missed—will corrode and possibly destroy your relationship because it is lost potential. You can’t put two bodies together of people who proclaim to love one another and then have them engage in sex that way, night after night.

“
When you do that, you awaken your spirit and tell it lies. You promised it that you would feed it, but you stuff a crumb in its mouth instead and leave it be. A crumb is not a feast. It is not satisfying if you are hungry. A crumb, to the starving, is frustrating. It is a tease. There was no care in the preparation of a crumb. Crumbs are residual of something bigger and better that was never partaken!” Saint’s voice boomed. “A crumb is a rip off! It tells the person who received it that they aren’t worth the whole thing, the original source of goodness. Their spirit thought it was invited to dinner to be fed, and nothing was really exchanged. Both the woman and the man are to blame for this, in these scenarios. Now…” He slowly leaned away from the podium. “I know some people here tonight are atheists and agnostics.” He offered a faint smile. “So you may think, ‘I can’t dig this spirituality stuff this man is talking about.’ And you know what? That’s fine, but I’ll say this,” he shook his finger in the air, “
everything
created has a purpose.

“
Whether you believe that purpose was bestowed from a Creator or from nature, the premise of what I am saying stands firm. We can agree that trees add beauty, provide oxygen to the air, bear fruit and nuts for humans and animals to enjoy, and leaves and branches for birds. Trees have a purpose, so regardless whether you believe that tree was created from God or whether its existence is purely scientific, the end result is the same—we both meet at the same spot, point A, in the fact that the tree has a purpose. So, with that said, it can be applied to all things on this planet, including sex, sex organs and all that that entails. We are the only mammals on Earth that can have five different types of orgasms. We have to make love a certain way to achieve them, and have genitals shaped exactly in a certain way as well, but it’s possible. If this was simply nature, we could just procreate and be done with it. But no,” he smirked, “there is more to it, you see. There is a reason we are able to do these things. There is a reason a woman can have an orgasm and not just get pregnant. There is a reason why her clitoris is on the outside of her body, and not the inside. There is a
reason
, whether a man is circumcised or uncircumcised, why we have a ridge on the head of our erect penises. There is a reason why a G-spot is where it is, why a prostate is where it is, and why our bodies look the way they do. Nothing is by accident.”

He
locked eyes with several people near the front row.

“To be the best lover,
you must take your time.” He nodded. “You have to pay close attention to your partner. The sex act is a journey down a scenic path that is to be enjoyed. Not a speed walk down a dirty, desolate street. You can do a lot even just with twenty minutes, if you know what you’re doing. Guys, fellas,” Saint cracked a smile, causing a domino effect of giggles and enthusiastic murmurs, “you have to
be
there. You have to pay attention, to be present. Be alive in the moment!” His eyes narrowed as he scanned the room, made eye contact with several men. “CliffsNotes version, fellas.” He counted off his fingers. “One, foreplay is not optional, it’s essential. Ask her what she likes and do it. Secondly, make sure you tell her what you expect, and what you like as well if she is not pleasing you. Men’s lack of sexual satisfaction with their partner is a contributing factor to the ‘Wam bam, thank you ma’am’ antics going on in these bedrooms. It will get to the point where he now has incentive, ladies, to just pump and thrust fast to get that orgasm and ejaculate, and leave you hanging in the lurches. A part of him feels like,” he ran his hand over his chest, “well shit, she doesn’t give a damn about what I want. I don’t get any head except on my birthday. I don’t get any kisses down my body. She won’t try new things, she won’t wear sexy lingerie sometimes. She scoffs at me when I ask her to get into a different position, or want to use toys. She only wants to lie there. She ignores my balls.” Light laughter erupted.

“She thinks I’m grotesque
for wanting to engage in anal sex with her. She won’t let me go down on her because she is too self-conscious or was taught that that’s nasty, that my tongue and my lips shouldn’t be there. She’ll let me go down, but won’t return the favor. Men need foreplay too, ladies, we just many times don’t know it. Our orgasms are far more explosive if we receive it. The butterfly kisses on our earlobes,” his tone softened, “your nails tracing our back during a massage. How many women massage their man’s back?” A couple hands shot up.

“
Not many. Okay, you all are far too quiet…” He smirked, adjusted his waist band. “Don’t be scared! You’ve all done gone and done it, now!” He stepped from behind the podium, causing a ruckus of laughter as he yelled at the crowd.

“If you only pay attention to dicks and pussies, you’ve sold yourself out!” A burst of applause rang through
as he chopped the air in emphasis at each beat of his words. “To be a top notch lover, and not just a good fuck, is to use each and every second to bring that woman
that
much closer to losing her damn mind so when she finally cums, guys, she is a crying, babbling fool—her nickname is ‘newborn baby’ and you are the pacifier!” Saint stomped his foot, causing many students to stand to their feet and applaud.

“Damn it! Do you understand what it means when your woman is crying during an orgasm? Have any of you ever seen that shit?! It’s not weak
ness spilling forth; it’s strength and gratitude! So many people think tears mean someone is weak…bullshit! It is a release because you’ve shown the fuck out, made her soul never want to let you go! It’s humbling for both of you! She is submitting to you and she is empowered! You woke up her inner Goddess and fed her a buffet of epic proportions! She has humbled herself before you and said, ‘Thank you, King, for releasing my inner Goddess from bondage!’” The crowd was being worked into a frenzy, feeling his passion. “Each mothafuckin’ thrust, you are talking to that pussy!” He thrust his fist in the air, pumping his arm like a piston, as if it were a penis going in and out of a vagina, then echoed that movement with his hips, causing a commotion as he pretended to make love to the air. “You are talking to her chakras, you are singing to her spirit, your dick is saying, ‘Cum for me, cum for me, I said cum for me, goddamn it! I want you to experience something with me, something we can share…some shit our mouths can’t say.’
Let me hear your body talk
isn’t just song lyrics from a 1980’s song by Olivia Newton John!” The crowd continued to clap, almost drowning out his voice.