Salvage Her Heart (14 page)

EVIE

He picks me up and swings me over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold. He’s gentle, as desperate as I am to be out of the open wilderness. He carries me as though I weigh nothing. I’m held securely over his shoulder with his strong hands as he makes his way up the dirt path to our cabin.
It’s twilight, the sun only just gracing the tops of the trees that cocoon the lake. It’s a perfect time of day to make love, the lighting romantic without even intending to be so.

Grayson kicks open the door, the first sign of roughness I’ve seen from him. With gentle hands he places me on the top of the covers, removing his shirt with one hand as he kicks his shoes off. I watch, completely overwhelmed by the sight of him without material on his ripped body. His skin is smooth, with just hints of hair down the middle of his chest and stomach. My eyes follow as his fingers go to work on the buttons of his shorts.

He makes short work of removing them, before running nervous hands through his long hair. He stands in his boxers, waiting for me to give him permission to go all the way.

‘I don’t want anything more than I want you right now,’ I say softly. He nods, understanding completely. He hooks his fingers over the band of the material and eases them down his legs. Grayson is wildly masculine, completely at ease standing in all his naked glory while I take my time appreciating his body in its entirety.

My eyes fall to his erection at last. Just the sight of him aroused makes me hot in all the right places. The spark he ignites blazes through my veins and travels all the way to my core. I’m on fire, so eager for him to be inside of me, but I know I can’t rush this. This will be the one and only time I can be with him.

He comes to the bed, eager to rekindle the connection we have. We’ve been flirting with the idea of making love since we got here, and now that he’s succumbed to the inevitability, there is no locking the desire away any more.

The first time he touches me I flinch, not because I don’t want him to, but because I’m wound so tight with nervousness. I’ve never been with another man before and any expectations I may have had went completely out the window five minutes ago. I don’t want to predict how this will go—I just want to
feel
.

He reaches out a hand to my leg, his finger connecting with my skin. So slowly he trails it up the length of my leg, sending a torrent of goose
bumps up my spine. I feel like jumping, I can barely contain myself. When he finally stops at my shorts, his eyes seek my permission.

‘Please
…’

It’s all I need to say. He knows, he sees, he feels. Bringing both hands to the waistband, he tenderly pulls them down and off my ankles. Without another word he makes advances towards my tank top. That comes off too, leaving me in a flimsy white bra and panties. He hungrily eyes off both garments, struggling with which he’d like to see come off first.

The decision doesn’t hold him for long. His hands grasp mine, tugging me into a sitting position so he can get to the clasp behind my bra. He flicks it loose with one hand, the material sagging away from my breasts. With one large palm splayed across the middle of my chest, he pushes me back against the pillows. I remove the bra for him, allowing him full view of my hardened nipples. He ducks his head to take one in his mouth, his hot saliva warming my skin.

It feels so good I instantly shut my eyes, concentrating on how good his touch feels. His tongue teases my nipple in his mouth, alternating between sucking greedily and gently nipping me with his teeth. I can’t help it; my hands reach for his head, tangling in his hair and pulling it hard every time he sucks my breasts hard. After giving each of my nipples the attention of his mouth, he trails lower down my abdomen, shadowing kisses down my centre until he stops at the top of my panties.

This time, there are no questions. We both know it’s too late for that. There is no way either of us is turning back. Once these flood gates have opened there is not a thing on this earth that would have been able to close the gates on the deluge of emotions that are swirling between us.

Rough fingers push beneath the fabric, my hips arching so that he can slide them off my bottom and down my legs. It only takes seconds, but it’s like every action is in slow motion. I watch, love-drunk at how apt he is in knowing how to completely turn me on. His gentleness is something I didn’t think I would ever get to experience. Right now, I feel like I’m the only girl in the world who knows what it feels like to know the touch of this man.

Lips find my ankles and his hot tongue snakes its way up my leg towards my inner thigh. I try not to tremble beneath his touch, but at times it’s incredibly hard to control myself. Without even realising, my legs fall unabashedly apart, willing him to go there.

The warm wetness of his tongue inches closer, tormenting me. The anticipation of the moment when his tongue finally makes contact with the centre of my pussy is enough to drive me wild. I almost want to sit up, just so I can watch, but the other part of me is shy and wants to lay back with my eyes closed, pretending I didn’t just grant him access to my most private parts.

When he does slide it in for the first time I react by bucking my hips against his mouth, greedy for more. He laps at me, his tongue seeking all the wetness he’s drawing out of me. I gain a steady rhythm of movement against his mouth, unable to restrain myself anymore. The girl he’s unleashed is desperate, so, so desperate to feel everything he’s willing to offer and more. As he increases his intensity I’m enticed to wrap my legs over his broad shoulders. When the torment and promise of an orgasm are too great, I lift my hips off the bed and push as hard as I can against the flicking of his tongue. 

He stops suddenly. This does make me open my eyes, because I’m suddenly left wanton and wondering why he’s taken my pleasure away. He grins at me, and
unwraps my legs with firm hands, dropping my backside back to the bed.

‘If we keep that up I’m going to come all over the bed, and I don’t want it to end like that.’ I shake my head no, desperate to feel him orgasm inside of me instead. ‘Are you on the pill, beautiful?’ I nod, words escaping me.

His body covers mine, his heat radiating through me and his erection pressing firmly between my legs. He wants access and there is no way I’m denying him. I need this—I need him.

He links fingers with mine, lifting my arms above my head, my chest crushed by the heaviness of him. Without anything to guide him he pushes inside of me. Using the bed as a springboard, he thrusts every inch of himself inside of me. Heaven, every single second is pure heaven. He touches the spot that aches to be stroked, and he does it, over and over again.

We never take our eyes off each other, looking deep into each other’s soul as we make the sweetest love possible. Our cadence only increases as we near orgasm. Unable to fight it, I kiss him, tasting a little of myself on his lips.

He pulls away, the first time ever.

‘No, beautiful, I want to look in your eyes as you shatter around me,’ he urges. My face contorts, unable to hide the extreme pleasure he’s giving me. I can feel him throb deep inside of me as he strokes me into submission. My heart just surrendered to him. If he asked me to stay right now, I would. It is because of this that I can’t let on that I’m leaving him tonight. If I did he’d make me promise to stay forever, and right now I’d make that promise—and keep it.

His fingers crush mine, holding on to me for dear life. I know we’re both close to the end and yet, I’m devastated it’s almost over. He’s making me give it up, though. He’s relentless in loving me. He feels so amazing that I’m unable to resist clinging on to him with everything I have. I wrap my legs around his waist, grinding his hips even closer to mine.

Our bodies are slick with sweat, gliding effortlessly together as we reach climax. He pulses inside of me, releasing all of his come deep within my core. The throbbing of his dick sends me over the edge, my own muscles suddenly sent into a flurry of spasms against him. He groans and releases my hands, instead reaching underneath me to cup my buttocks and crush me against him. In this instant we take more of each other than is humanly possible. 

We release every single bit of our love for each other in this one act of lovemaking. Without ever realising that it was possible, I just bound myself to Grayson for eternity. I’ll tell you right now, I’m going to have to get a big fucking pair of scissors to cut those ties so I can force myself to leave tonight.

Grayson slumps against me, spent and panting hard. I can barely catch my breath, his weight crushing my lungs so that I’m unable to take big gulps of air. Finally he pushes himself up with his elbows, cupping the side of my face and kissing me sweetly on the lips.

‘I love you, Evie, don’t you ever forget that.’

‘I love you, too,’ I whisper, suddenly very aware that I need to start preparing my heart for leaving this incredibly amazing man.

‘Don’t do it, baby,’ he warns.

‘What?’

‘Take your heart back. You can’t now, I won’t let you.’

I say nothing, but know he’s hit the nail on the head. I need to protect myself if I’m going to be able to walk away from him without falling to pieces. Strong? Right now a light wind would topple my fragile state. I know he can sense I’m starting to close up, and yet I’m powerless to stop it. I smile, hoping that this simple action can convince him to let his guard down and stop paying too much attention to my behaviour.

He grabs my hand and leads me to the shower, bathing me caringly with the wash cloth. I return the favour, desperate to commit every single inch of his body to memory. I know there will be times I will want to remember him and I can only do this by memorizing every single part of him. I don’t ever want to forget what it felt like to have him inside of me, to touch me, to kiss me.

By the time we finish bathing our meal is ruined. Our steaks are blackened and as stiff as cardboard. The salad has wilted and the beer is warm. Despite this, I try to appreciate our last meal together. I sit between his legs, chewing tough meat so I don’t need to fill the silence with words. I don’t trust myself to speak right now, knowing if I say something even remotely suspicious he’d lock me up and never let me return to the monster who owns me.

A part of me wants to give in, to let him be the one to save me. The other part of me isn’t nearly so selfish as to allow him to stand in the middle of my shit life and get hurt in the process.

We finish our meal as darkness settles over the lake. Grayson pulls me to my feet and kicks sand over the fire to put it out.

‘Hop on, I’ll piggy-back you,’ he grins.

I do, wrapping my arms around his neck and nestling my cheek against his back. He’s so strong, safe and secure that the little girl within wants to cry out for his protection. But I won’t. I will remain silent and bear the hand dealt me on my own.

We hop in to the bed and fall into each other’s arms. Right now, I need to be careful. I can’t fall asleep or it could mean I’m not home before Alex gets home. As Grayson strokes my back, I patiently wait him out.

Finally his breathing slows and his mouth slackens. In the moonlight, he’s never looked so handsome. I almost can’t do it. Almost. I don’t want to walk away from the only good thing that has ever come my way, but to keep him safe, I have to.

As quietly as I can, I sneak out from his firm grasp of me. Like a thief in the night, I scramble silently around the cabin collecting my things. From my purse, I scrounge a pen and an old shopping list. I quickly scrawl him a note on the back of it.

Dear Grayson,

I love you, so much. I know that’s hard to believe when you’ve woken to an empty bed, but it’s true. Alex has returned and so must I. I see now that what we had was just a dream, a beautiful fairy tale that I thought could become a reality. For that to happen, I would be putting you in harm’s way and I just can’t do that to the only person I’ve ever felt this way about. Please forget me. Please forgive me.

Evie.

I leave the note on my pillow and sneak out of the cabin, careful not to let the door swing too far open to avoid it creaking in its hinges. I make my way along the path towards the main road, Grayson’s stolen keys in my pocket. Even though I don’t look back, I’m unable to stop the flood of tears from streaming down my face. I want him to chase me, to take me up in his arms and shush me long enough to soothe me and tell me everything will be okay.

He doesn’t come.

I keep on walking and make it to the truck. The minute I’m inside I fall apart, heavy sobs consuming me and blinding me temporarily. I’m completely and utterly heartbroken and powerless to stop it. I don’t try to pretend that this is okay
—it’s not, and it never will be. I feel like he just died, despite the fact that he’s sleeping soundly not too far away.

I finally calm enough to start the engine. It’s time to put this fantasy to rest and head home to my life
—my real life. It’s time to pretend that I care about a man who only succeeds in making my skin crawl and leaves my heart blackened.

It’s time to forget all about Grayson Glines and the way he made me feel because, for a moment in time, it was like I was the luckiest girl on the planet. In reality, my reality, I don’t get to feel that way at all.