Salvation and Secrets (17 page)

"Ah, oh God, Jackson, more,” she cried, burying her head into my shoulder, but I moved a hand to her neck drawing her face level with mine, all the time moving in and out of her.

"Look at me, Ana. I need you to look at me."

Her eyes connected with me and I saw it. Her love for me. Her choice.

There was no going back now.

And as we crashed over the edge together and I pulled her to me, in the back of my euphoric mind only one thought remained.

How the fuck I am going to protect her from whatever is coming?

~

A puff of icy air swirled around my face every time I exhaled. It was freezing, and Braiden had demanded we meet in the cabin.

"So?" Dennis said from beside me.

"So, what?"

"How did it go?" There was a hint of laughter in his voice, and I gave him the finger. "If you think I'm telling you any details to store in your wank bank, you got no chance."

He exploded with laughter, shaking his head. "Like I need images when I can get the real thing. Besides, she's not my type."

The fuck she's not.

"Glad to hear it."

The cabin was just up in the distance and my pace slowed. Dennis lingered back with me.

"I laid it all out for her. She knows what's coming. But we've made our choice."

"Fuck, man." Dennis scrubbed a hand over his buzz cut. "Shit's getting real. Well, I got your back."

"Thanks."

The words lingered between us. We both knew they meant nothing, not really. Because if Braiden couldn't accept my relationship with Ana, things were about to get ugly. And nothing that Dennis, or anyone else, could do or say would matter.

"Get in here. You're late." Braiden's voice boomed from the cabin porch, and Dennis gave me a solemn look, mumbling to himself.

We reached the cabin a minute later. Braiden had gone inside, and when we entered, he didn't even acknowledge us.

Dennis moved to his usual spot on the wall, but I walked right over to the table, dragged a chair out, and dropped into it. Braiden paused whatever he'd been saying only seconds earlier and glared at me. I was pushing him. I knew it. He knew it. But something in me refused to fall in line anymore. I had spent years living in his shadow, being beholden to him.

"How's business?" Braiden switched his focus from me to Kyler.

"Hmm, okay, considering." Kyler cleared his throat, trying to sound all official, although his nerves were plastered all over his face. "Students are still shook up from the game, though. Parties have been cancelled which affects business. But the regulars are still paying up."

"Good. Keep that shit away from the team though, got it? Coach is still on my back."

Kyler nodded and tossed Braiden two big wads of cash. "Payday."

"Anything from your uncle?" Braiden asked Shaun, and his Southern drawl filled the room. "A shipment of the latest iPods. Students will eat that shit up."

"Arrange it. You going home for the holidays?"

Shaun laughed. "Sure thing. Got me some cowgirls to break in."

"You two?" Braiden flicked his head toward Dennis and Travis, who both nodded. They usually went home whenever campus closed down for holidays, but there was always a bed for them at the Donohue house.

It didn't go unnoticed that he never asked Kyler his plans, but no one questioned it so I kept quiet.

“Okay, get out of here. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t, yeah. Pierce, stick around.”

Dennis glanced at me and questioned me. I shook my head—whatever was coming was between Braiden and me.

“Want me to stick around?” Kyler chimed, a shit-eating grin on his face acting like my fate was already decided.

“Nah, get out of here. Family business. I’ll call you later.”

The smug grin dropped from his face and he gave Braiden a small nod of the head before skulking after the rest of the guys and avoiding looking in my direction.

Braiden waited for the door to close behind them, and then he rose from the chair, the wooden spindles scratching across the floor. The air shifted with him, thick with tension. I thought when this moment came, when I had to make my choice, I would feel guilty. Remorse for dishonoring my loyalty to the Donohues. To the family I’d known for most of my life. But I didn’t. In fact, a part of me wished I had done it sooner.

Sure, my heart was pounding and my palms were clammy as I clenched and unclenched my fists on my jeans. But every time a seed of guilt planted itself in my chest, I pictured Ana’s face and the seed was swallowed up.
Ana
. It would always be Ana.

“You’ve been busy a lot lately.”

I didn’t turn to meet Braiden’s glare, even though I could feel his icy stare burning into my back. I didn’t need to turn around. He knew. I’d figured as much. It wasn’t like I had been extra careful the last couple of weeks. I think that was just another sign that I didn’t care if he knew anymore.

“Do you have anything to say?” His voice sounded robotic. Calculated—and I knew he was no longer the boy I grew up with. He was the man he had become. Cold and deadly.

Rapping my knuckles on the table, I said, “What is there to say?”

The air swooshed past my ear as the chair crashed into the far wall, shattering into pieces. “I TOLD YOU TO END IT. YOU’RE CHOOSING HER OVER US. OVER FAMILY.”

It came out a statement, not a question. He knew my choice was made. A part of him had probably known since we stood out on the cabin porch some months ago and he told me to end it.

Calmly, I rose from my chair and turned to face him. Adrenaline coursed through me, ramping up my pulse even more. And when our eyes connected, I saw it. The look in his ice-blue eyes. I was no longer his best friend, his brother…I was his enemy.

I waited for it.

And waited.

But nothing came.

Braiden didn’t hurl himself at me or throw a fist; he just stared right at me. Through me—like he didn’t even recognize me anymore.

“Fuck!” He jammed a hand into his hawk and started pacing, grunting to himself.

And I stood rooted to the spot, still waiting.

Part of me had expected him to blow up—to explode with fury. But this was the response I had banked on—him being too distracted with Calder to lose it. Braiden was reckless and impulsive and stormed into everything like a fuse waiting to blow. But he also became obsessed with things, especially the need for revenge. And right now, his focus was on Calder.

“What now?” My voice was unwavering.

Braiden paused and spun on his heel. The anger rolled off him, but he stayed put. The tick in his jaw pulsing rhythmically. “You’re out. Done.”

“Just like that?”

“What did you expect? You made your choice. And don’t think for one second that I’ll forget. Or that you’re getting a free pass. But you were right. Right now, I have bigger things to think about. Dad has bigger things to think about.”

I moved toward the door sensing the conversation was over…for now. But as my hand reached the handle, Braiden’s voice cut through the room. “Pierce, just ask yourself one thing. Is she really worth tearing our family apart? Tearing
your
family apart?”

Pausing, I opened my mouth to respond but snapped it shut and pushed open the door.

My choice was made.

And it couldn’t ever be undone.

Chapter 19

~ANA~

“Are you going to tell me why we are rushing like tomorrow might never come?” Linking my fingers through Jackson’s hand, I let my gaze settle on the leafy tunnel whizzing past.

“Just eager to get to Otis and V’s. Me, you, and that tiny bed.” He laughed quietly, but something was off. I knew it the second he arrived at the dorm and demanded that I pack, giving me the excuse he wanted to head to the Blacks a few days early, totally playing down the fact that Christmas was only two days away. But before I could argue, he’d gathered up my things and had me packed into the car and we were on the road.

Yeah, something was definitely up.

Ten minutes later, I couldn’t stop the pit in my stomach. Usually, he spent holidays with
them
. He said Marcus was out of town, but still, spending the whole week at Otis and Velma’s seemed unusual.

“Jackson, do Otis and V know we’re arriving early?” I removed my fingers from his hand and started lazily twisting the bracelet on my wrist, trying to seem aloof. When really the nausea settling low in my stomach had me troubled.

“Sure. I called Otis earlier.” Jackson’s voice sounded so normal. Too normal.

“Okay, I’m done playing. What the hell is going on?” Shifting in my seat, I narrowed my eyes at the side of Jackson’s head, willing him to talk to me.

As if he could feel me watching, his features hardened and he blew out a long sigh. “He knows.”

The pit in my stomach expanded into a vast cavern and I clasped a hand over my blouse, trying to hold myself together.

"He knows," I repeated quietly.

This was what I wanted. It had been all I wanted for the last year. But now that it was real, panic spread through me like a raging fire.

Jackson shuffled in his seat next to me, swerving off the main road. The car screeched to a halt, causing my whole body to shoot forward and then land back in the seat with a thud.

Before I could process what was happening, Jackson had exited the car and came around to the passenger door. He all but yanked me out, dropping me to my feet and caging me between him and the rear door.

I could see the pain in his face, the look of sadness in his eyes, and I reached out for his jaw, gliding my fingers across the hint of a five 'o' clock shadow.

He gulped. "I'm out."

Out
?

"Wha-what does that mean?"

"Of the inner circle. Probably the family. I'm out. Uncle Marcus doesn't know yet, but I can't imagine he'll be thrilled. And Braiden..." He paused, looking deep into my eyes. "Braiden will never forgive me. Which means I'm out."

I should have been ecstatic. Relieved. It should have been happiness consuming me. But, instead, all I could think was that Jackson had walked away from the only family he'd known for most of his life.

For me.

My heart beat rapidly in my chest as realization dawned on me. He had finally chosen.

And he had chosen me.

"Say something."

"I- I-" The words were there on the tip of my tongue, but even if they managed to find their way out, I had no idea what they were going to be.

He's really chosen,
was the only thought filling my mind.

Jackson closed the distance between us, pressing his forehead against mine, holding me in place. His breath came in short bursts and the rise and fall of his chest matched my own.

"It was always you; it just took me a while to realize. I'm done with his shit. I’m out." He emphasized each word, and I didn’t know who he was trying to convince more. Me or himself.

Clamping my eyes together, I gripped his jacket, overwhelmed with emotion, and I tried to swallow down the tears threatening to pour out. This was all I wanted, but I had never really given much thought to what would happen if he did it. If he chose me over them.

And what it meant for us.

~

“There you two kids are. Otis Black get your hiney out here. Jax and Ana are home.”

I smiled at Velma in her bright pink dress and wooly slippers. Even in the freezing temperature, she managed to look like a bright sunny day.

“Ana, give me some sugar. It’s been too long, girl.” Her eyes darted to Jackson and she cocked an eyebrow before wrapping me in her thick arms. And I couldn’t help but wonder what version of events she knew.

“Nice to see you again, Velma. Happy Holidays.”

“You too, honey, you too.” She pulled away to focus on Jackson. “Get over here, boy, and give V a hug.”

Throwing his arms open, Jackson scooped her solid frame into a hug. It warmed my heart watching them together, knowing that Velma was probably the closest thing he had to a mom growing up.

“Good to see you, V. So good to see you.” Jackson’s eyes found mine over the old woman’s shoulder, full of emotion.

The rest of the car journey after our brief stop had been silent; both of us locked in our own thoughts. I pushed to know what else had been said, but Jackson wouldn’t discuss it. He wanted to settle at the Blacks and then tell me everything.

“I’ll get the bags; you two lovely ladies head inside and make sure the old man isn’t getting himself into any trouble.”

Velma linked her arm through mine, leading me into the small house. Once inside, memories of my first visit resurfaced, and it was hard to believe a whole year had passed. “Don’t be overthinking things, dear. That boy loves you like I seen him love no one else.”

I didn’t know Velma well, but in the brief time I spent with her and Otis last Christmas, I knew she had a way of just knowing things. And she seemed to know Jackson better than anyone.

“Miss Parry, good to see you.” Otis rose from his rocking chair and extended his hand. I took it and smiled at him. He seemed older somehow, more frail, but he quickly straightened when the front door clattered in its frame and Jackson appeared in the doorway.

“Old man.” He grinned before heading straight for Otis and pulling him into a hug.

It was like watching another person. Jackson was so at ease with them; warm and open. For a split second, I almost forgot we were running. Or temporarily in hiding. Jackson hadn’t said the words, but I was no fool.

“To what do we owe this pleasure anyway? Don’t usually get you for Christmas dinner.” Otis moved away from Jackson, dropping back into his chair.

“Otis Black, watch your claptrap,” Velma scolded.

Jackson stiffened. “V, it’s okay. Otis has a fair point. We needed to get out of town for a few days. Things have been kind of heavy.” Jackson didn’t say anything else, but his eyes met Otis’ and something passed between them—just like the times I’d witnessed at the diner.

“I hope we’re not intruding?” My voice cut through the tension.

“Intruding? Pfft, the door's always open.” Otis grunted.

“Why don’t you get settled and I’ll make some tea. Jax, show Ana to your room.”

Jackson grabbed our bags and led us to the small room. It was exactly as I remembered; plain walls, simple furniture, and that damn single bed.

The second the door closed behind us, I said, “Well, that wasn’t awkward in the least.”

Jackson laughed, dropping the bags, and then turned to wrap his arms around me. “You know what he’s like. He’s jealous. And concerned. He just has a funny way of showing it.”

My nose brushed across Jackson’s taut chest and I breathed him in. His smell comforted me, wrapping around me until the whole room zeroed in on him.

“Ana, remember what happened last time.”

I heard the smirk in his voice and reluctantly wriggled out of his arms. “So, how long are we staying here?” I started unpacking my small bag.

“I don’t know. A week, two.”

“Two weeks?”

“It might be for the best.”

I dropped the blouse back into my bag and spun to face Jackson. “How bad is it?”

Jackson grasped his chin with his hand before jamming a hand into his hair. He grimaced. “That’s the thing, Braiden made it too easy. I was relying on him being distracted by this clusterfuck with Calder, but something didn’t feel right. He just let me walk out of there.”

Jackson was right. After last year—the threats, the cabin—there was no way on earth Braiden would just let this drop. But that made the alternative even more terrifying. He was biding his time. Plotting his revenge.

My heart sank.
This
was what Jackson had wanted to protect me from. The exact reason he walked away last year.

“Hey, hey.” He closed the distance between us, his eyes shining bright with concern. “I won’t let anything happen to you…” He hesitated. “Not again.”

“And what about you? Who protects you?” My eyes burned into him, but he just chuckled, ignoring my concern. “I’m a big guy, I can look after myself.”

His words did nothing to appease the anxiety building in my stomach, still hollow from the conversation in the car.

“H-how bad is it going to get?”

Jackson inhaled before brushing his nose against mine and placing a soft kiss on my lips. “Honestly? I have no fucking idea. But we will get through it. I promise.”

~

"Can I please just see where we are yet?" The icy air took my breath away, stinging my lungs, as Jackson guided me out of the car.

His laughter surrounded me but did little to calm my rapid pulse.

"Not yet. Just trust me."

That was easier said than done when he had pulled out a blindfold and insisted I wear it during the whole ride to wherever the hell we now were.

"It's so cold." My teeth chattered and I heard the telltale beep of the car alarm being set. Seconds later, Jackson wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his side. His mouth lingered near my ear and he whispered, "Will you stop complaining if I promise to keep you warm?"

Tingles spread through me, warming my core, and I frowned trying to ignore the desire uncoiling low in my stomach. We had only spent one night with the Blacks, but it was one night too many. Although sharing the ridiculously small bed, Jackson insisted on us behaving under Otis' roof. The whole night had been torture, lying next to him unable to love him in the way I wanted. The way I needed to, after recent revelations.

"Fine," I mumbled, letting him lead me in an unknown direction.

Unable to see, I honed in on my other senses. The cold wind whipped around us and I could just hear the distant ripple of waves landing on the shore. But it wasn't until the ground softened beneath my sneakers that I guessed that Jackson had brought me to the beach.

"You do know it's Christmas Eve, right?"

He squeezed my hand. And a new noise entered my field of hearing. Low music, a slow beat traveling through the air, and a crackle in the background. A fire? And then I felt it. The heat licking my face, instantly warming me, and I leaned into it.

“Surprise.” Jackson’s hands slipped behind my head and unfastened the blindfold, pressing a quick kiss to the side of my neck.

I blinked, my vision adjusting to the scene in front of me. The huge fire roared against the moonlit black canvas. The ocean glittering behind.

“It’s beautiful.”

Jackson tugged my hand, pulling me into the small crowd gathered to one side of the fire. Of course, I didn’t recognize anyone, but people lifted their heads, smiling at us. We reached a smaller cooking fire surrounded by coolers.

“Drink?” Jackson smiled at me and my breath hitched. He was trying to give me normal, just for a few hours. And it was perfect.

I nodded, taking a bottled beer from him and he wrapped an arm around me as we stood and just watched the flames. No one seemed to be affected by his presence here. A few of the girls watched him with a look of longing in their eyes, but that didn’t surprise me. Jackson was that kind of guy; the kind who walked into a room and turned heads. And I relaxed against him, sinking into his side.

After two more beers and a burger, Jackson nestled his chin onto my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “Come on, there’s something I want to show you.”

There’s more?
It had already been a night I wouldn’t forget in a hurry. A chance for us to just be a normal couple away from CFA…away from Braiden and Briony. Away from Calder. But I let Jackson lead me away from the small gathering, moving us further down the beach and into the darkness. It didn’t seem to faze him. The way he moved with purpose suggested that he was taking me somewhere he knew well, and butterflies fluttered softly in my stomach at the thought of finding out more about him. About his past.