Salvation (72 page)

“What happened between you two in New York?” I asked shakily, leaning back on the desk so I could face him. I had to know everything before I could move on.

“Ah, God.” He scrubbed his face. “Ash thinks she has something over me. I have no idea what. She came on to me in my office, tried to kiss me.”

I gasped, sucking in a breath. I squeezed my eyes shut, fists clenching around the photo, battling to stay calm and determined to let him finish before reacting. He didn’t.

Nate took my mouth roughly. The pads of his thumbs smoothed along my jaw, easing away the tension until I willingly opened up. The second our tongues joined, the kiss softened but was nonetheless insistent.

I fell back, buckling under the force of his will. The photo frame hit the desk as I scrambled for balance. My mind was a riot of thoughts, my body a chaotic mix of love and resentment. His lips worked frantically over my face like he couldn’t stop kissing me, whilst his hands began unbuttoning my blouse. “Nothing and no-one will ever change my love for you,” he murmured gruffly between kisses.

“I know,” I whimpered. My back bowed, my head dropping back, surrendering my neck to his mouth. I wrapped my legs around his waist and dragged him closer.

“I fucking need you,” he growled, pushing my blouse open and cupping my breast. “You own me.” A low rumble moved through him as his teeth grazed the swell of flesh. He yanked the cup down and sealed his mouth over my nipple, sucking and biting.

“Stop it!” I cried, shoving him off me. I scrambled off his desk, trying to salvage some dignity. “You can’t gloss over this with a fuck! No matter how much I want you to.”

Nate straightened. He wiped the pad of his thumb over his lips. “Don’t mistake that for an apology or admission of guilt. I admit I’ve handled her, and you, in the wrong manner, but that’s all it is. No lies. No cheating. Just misguided reasoning.”

“I know you didn’t fuck her! But finding out she had her hands all over you is something you should’ve told me,” I stuttered, shaken as I buttoned up my blouse. Tears began to clog my eyes.

“I didn’t think you’d trust me going forward if I detailed precisely what happened in New York. I couldn’t bring myself to confide in you and ruin what we’d found in each other.” He raked both hands through his hair. “I feared you’d give up on us and walk away from me because it was the easy way out.”

Nate.
I’d made him second-guess his own gut instincts. He’d always been truthful. I’d kept him at arm’s length because I didn’t want to get hurt, and he’d kept this from me because of it.

“I had no idea she worked for Star until it was too late.” He disappeared into the bathroom. “Last I heard, she was taking time to herself to figure some personal issues out. By the time I realised, contracts had been drawn up and signed.”

“And now she’s going to be a part of our lives whether we like it or not.”

“I meant what I said,” Nate muttered, returning with some tissue. “I’ll sever all ties, break the deal.”

“I can’t allow that to happen.” He’d already made too many sacrifices. Any more, and his business would be jeopardised, possibly beyond repair. Nate had called me immature once before, but I’d grown since then. The ability to handle threats to my relationship was stronger than ever. “And I won’t give her the ammunition she needs to break us up.”

I’d stand by him and face whatever Ashleigh wanted to throw at us. He was worth it.
We
were worth it.

He smiled, carefully wiping my eyes. “There’s the inner strength I fell in love with.”

I sniffed, managing a half-smile. The same glow of adoration I’d seen so many times before danced in his eyes. First thing in the morning; the times I’d caught him watching me when he thought I didn’t know. The same way he gazed at me when I was beneath him, covered with him. Mind, body and soul.

He checked his watch and gathered up our belongings. “We need to leave.”

“I can’t get on a plane now. Not with this hanging over us.” I let him take my hand and lead me out of the office towards the lifts. Reception was eerily quiet, both Riley and Ramón nowhere to be seen.

“You can.” We stepped into the waiting lift and travelled down to my level. “You’re going to spend some quality time with your dad because he needs you.”

“So do you,” I murmured, loving him more than I ever imagined possible for putting everyone else before himself.

“And I’ll be right here waiting for you when you come back.” Nate dropped my tablet onto Mai’s vacated workstation before continuing to my office. In a daze, I let him sort everything out. He shut down my computer, locked up my cupboards and tidied the place up.

Nothing had worked out as planned. The romantic meal we were supposed to grab en-route to the airport had gone out the window with no chance of salvaging it. I hadn’t said goodbye to Mai. Now it was late afternoon, and the traffic would be a slow grind to the airport. I’d be lucky if I managed to get there on time and catch my flight.

“Got your passports?” Nate asked, helping me into my long grey cardigan.

I gave him a reluctant nod. “In here,” I said, grabbing my tote. He wheeled my two suitcases to the door and let me take the smaller one.

With my hand firmly clasped in his, we made the long walk back to the lifts.

ROSS loaded everything into the boot of the Mercedes. I was about to climb into the back, when, “Can’t believe you were gonna sneak off without saying goodbye.”

Mai stepped from the shadow of the building, puffing smoke into the air as she stubbed her half-smoked cigarette out on the packet.

“I wouldn’t dare.” Relief danced inside me. “I’d never hear the end of it.”

She scanned me up and down. “You okay? You look a little off.”

“I’m a bit shook up, but I think I’m going to be all right.” I squeezed her hands. “Are you?”

“Oh, you know me,” she sang, shrugging a shoulder. “I’m always happy.”

“And that is why I love you so.”

One brow arched. “Are we having a moment?”

I laughed. In the most upsetting of times, Mai could make my heart fill my chest. I kissed her cheek. “Be good. Focus on your work, study hard. If you do, I’ll bring you something awesome back.”

“A hot man?” she asked eagerly, reminding me of her relationship woes.

“That’s happening in a few weeks, remember?”

“Want me to take care of yours while you’re gone?” She nodded behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to the car. Nate waited patiently. He always had, and he’d assured me he always would.

A tiny smile crept over his face, forcing me to realise how unsettled he actually was. Again, his focus in all this mess had been on me and my well-being. But what about him?

“Get in the car, K.” Mai shoved me, breaking my thoughts. “You know he doesn’t need taking care of. He’s got you by his side. He’ll be good.”

I settled into the backseat, immediately grabbing Nate’s hand when he joined me. I waved to Mai through the tinted glass and rested my head on his jacketed shoulder. He nuzzled into my hair, taking a deep breath, his body relaxing.

I dropped my gaze to his left hand clasped around mine. I began stroking his ring finger, smoothing my fingers over the long digit. My free hand toyed anxiously with the starfish around my neck.

The bright lights of Los Angeles passed in long drawn out metres as we moved then stopped, moved then stopped. It had been little over a year since I’d returned to a place I’d once called home. Aside from my father, and all the wonderful cherished memories of my mother, it held nothing for me anymore. Everything I wanted was right here.

“I treasure what we have, Nate,” I said quietly. “You and me, you know?”

Glancing at me in the dusky light, something flickered in the eyes I found myself drowning in every day. I didn’t know what it was, I’d never seen it before.

An unravelling of the soul…a power exchange…a surrender…an admission of defeat?

The demons he’d helped me battle and destroy were creeping into his soul, reminders of his past returning to haunt him. I swallowed the lump in my throat and lifted his hand to my mouth. “I love you,” I whispered, kissing the spot I’d been stroking moments before.

He sagged into the leather, closing his eyes on a long exhalation. “We’re going to be okay,” he promised.

As my salvation, I was depending on it.

WHAT WAS GOOD about a goodbye?

Not once, during the entire course of our relationship, had I ever said goodbye to Kara. Even now, standing in the International Departures Terminal at LAX after watching my girl disappear through Security, I hadn’t uttered the words. It was too final. Like an admission that the moment was ending, never to be experienced again, and that I was happy about it.

That would never be true with her. In the blink of an eye, the strikingly brilliant essence of my life had gone. It would be fourteen long days, even longer fucking nights until I could hold her in my arms again.

Deep in her heart Kara hadn’t wanted to leave. If I’m honest, I didn’t want her to go. But family was as important to her as it was me. Her dad needed supporting through this rough time, and she needed him whether she admitted it or not.

The kiss we’d shared seconds ago lingered on my lips, the taste of her still coating my mouth. I touched them, never wanting the feeling of her sweet mouth on mine to leave me. Ever.

I wished I could get back every minute of the journey to the airport. Hell, I wished I could get the past goddamn six weeks back. Do it all again. Differently. Not the time spent with Kara—I wouldn’t change that for the world. Not even the times fraught with tension, the misunderstandings or the arguments that had been few and far between. My girl challenged me, half the time testing my patience without even appreciating she was doing it. I thrived on the difference it made in me as a man.

But this whole fucking mess with Ash hadn’t been handled well. She’d damn near wrecked me once before. I gave her the benefit of the doubt back then. She was sick, not herself. Grief made normally sane people behave in strange ways. Fucked with their heads, tested their resolve, pushed them to their limits to see how long they could last before breaking.

I should know. I’d been there.

That’s why I allowed what happened to happen. I was damned if it was happening again.

I shoved my hands into my pants pockets and rocked back on the heels of my wingtips. A gaggle of flight attendants breezed past, placing me in the centre of their group as they flowed either side. There used to be a time when I’d flash them a smile, give them what they were hungry for, maybe even invite them for drinks with a few friends. Now, I didn’t even bat an eyelid. When you’ve tasted the finest life has to offer, why chase anything else?

Reluctantly, I turned to leave, imagining what Kara was doing. Hopefully, though I doubted the likelihood, she’d get something to eat in the First Class Lounge.

Yeah, I changed her ticket. Hell if I’d let her travel that distance in cattle class. Her wellbeing was in someone else’s hands and it was gonna be at least eleven hours before I heard from her again. If only to appease my own anxiety of waiting for that call before knowing she was safely back on the ground in London, I’d make sure she was being taken care of while travelling there. She was mad when she checked in and found out, but her indignation hadn’t lasted long. It never did.

I stepped outside into the warm night air. The thrust of aircraft engines assaulted my ears. Cabs lined up, offloading passengers who wielded trolleys like possessed animals. Maybe if they didn’t load the damn things too high, they might push it in a straight line without running innocent bystanders down.

My cellphone vibrated next to my chest. I dug it from the inside pocket of my jacket:
MISS YOU. LOVE YOU X

Love warmed every cell of my frustrated body. My dick twitched. Not gonna lie, it happened every time I thought about her, was worse when I saw her. When she talked? Hard as stone damn near every time.

I quickly tapped a reply, ignorant of the chaos around me as I strolled to the Valet parking lot where Ross waited:
MY FOREVER X

I reached the Mercedes and climbed into the back seat. “Thanks for cancelling our dinner reservation.”