Sammy Keyes and the Killer Cruise (15 page)

“That does it,” Marko says, standing up. “I’m finding Clue and we’re gonna play. It’s the least we can do to further your daughter’s regrettably limited experiences.”

“I agree,” Darren says, standing up, too. “It’s the least we can do.”

So we wind up going down to Deck 4 to the game lounge, where Marko manages to unearth a board game that has C
LUE
in big letters on the box.

“Unbelievable,” Marissa says. “That’s the word of the day.
Unbelievable
.”

And it kind of was. There was no cake, there were no
presents, and I was playing a
board
game on a
cruise
ship. It had all the makings of the Lamest Birthday Ever.

But somehow …

Unbelievably …

It felt like the best.

The game lounge isn’t a room—it’s more of an open area with four-person tables and a big cabinet of board games. It’s next to the walkway that leads into the casino, so although there were people playing chess and cards, there were others just hanging out, watching people walk by, or reading books.

It wasn’t crowded, so we found a table off to the side of the game lounge, and the others taught me how to play Clue, which uses a game board with cards and playing pieces and dice—and lots of note taking—to figure out who committed a murder, and where and with what. It takes a while, but when you think you’ve figured out who killed “Mr. Boddy,” you make your accusation by announcing the suspect, place, and weapon, saying something like, “It was Miss Scarlet! In the kitchen! With the lead pipe!” If you’re right, you win. If you’re wrong, well, you don’t.

After the second game, I’d gotten the hang of it, but then Marko decides we need to “relevantize” the game to “increase the intrigue.”

“What’s he doing?” I ask Darren when Marko disappears into the casino. “And what does
relevantize
mean?”

“To make relevant?” He laughs. “It’s Marko. We just have to wait and see.”

When Marko hustles back into the game lounge a few minutes later, he’s got a pack of playing cards, a magic marker, and a wicked grin on his face. “Time to make us some real suspects!” he whispers, and starts fishing the jacks, queens, and kings from the deck. “Expose their double dealings and criminal pursuits!”

“What are you talking about?” Marissa asks.

He turns his wicked grin on her and whispers, “Kensingtons!”

Marissa rolls her eyes, but she’s the first one to jump in to help name our new suspect cards. “The queen of diamonds should be Kate,” she says.

Marko nods and writes
KATE—the Diamond Dame
on the card and puts her over to the side, facedown.

After all, she’s the victim.

“And the queen of hearts should be Ginger!” Marissa says.

So Marko writes
GINGER—Suspicious Sister
on that card, then asks, “Next?”

“The jack of diamonds should be JT!”

“Right on,” Marko says, and writes
JT—Bratty Grandson
on that card.

And pretty soon everyone but Kip has their own card.

Well, except JT’s parents—they get put together as
LUCAS & LUANN—Sneaky Spouses
, because Marko thought we should stick to six suspects, like in the original Clue, and with
BRADLEY—Sulking Son, TERESA—
Money-Grubbin’ Mama
, and
NOAH—Cruisin’ Cousin
already labeled, we had only one card left.

Then Marko shuffles our custom suspect cards and passes them out randomly, and we play our own version of Clue—Kensington Clue!

We do a good job of keeping our voices down at first, but after a couple of games, we get kinda rowdy. Especially since Marko keeps winning. Plus I think it sorta slipped our minds that we were playing a murder mystery game using the names of people who … well … who might actually have committed a murder.

Not that I
believed
that yet.

Anyway, I’m sure not thinking about actual murder when I jump out of my seat and announce, “It was Noah! In the library! With the rope!”

Now, at first I think Marissa’s just in shock that I’ve figured it out, because her eyes are big and her mouth is kinda gaping. But then Marko starts gathering our notepapers together super-fast, and the next thing I know, there’s a voice behind me, going, “Did I hear my name?”

I whip around, and sure enough, there’s Noah.

I try to cover up by going, “Oh, hey! Any news?” But there are still papers with Kensington names all around the table, and it doesn’t take long for him to pick one up.

“No,” he says, studying the paper. “But I’ll have you know that at no time was I in the library with a rope.” He places the paper down slowly and says, “Glad to see you enjoying your birthday, Sammy,” then gives a little nod and leaves.

“Whoa!” Marko says when he’s gone. “Busted!”

“How embarrassing,” Marissa whispers.

Darren shrugs. “I thought he took it quite well.”

Marko nods. “Played it close to the vest, that’s for sure.”

And that was exactly it about the Kensingtons. They all seemed to play it close to the vest. It wasn’t
just
that they weren’t going to show you their cards—they were also going to try to make you believe they were holding high cards instead of low.

Or low instead of high.

Or whatever.

Except for Kip. He’d kind of abandoned the whole Kensington code of honor. He’d even punched his cousin in the nose.

In public!

So maybe JT was right. Maybe being adopted and steeped in Kensington ways couldn’t actually
make
you one.

Blood was obviously thicker than ink.

Except …

Except Kip sure seemed to love his grandfather. And grandmother. Which was more than I could say about any of the blood Kensingtons. From what I’d seen, they were more interested in talking to lawyers and scouring the Internet for legal clues than they were in looking for clues about where Kate might be.

Anyway, I couldn’t help thinking about it a little, but I tried not to think about it a lot.

It was my birthday!

I’d escaped thirteen!

“So what now?” Darren asks. Then he checks his watch and goes, “Wow. How did it get to be eleven?”

My eyes pop. “It’s
eleven
?”

Marko nods. “Time flies when you’re solving crime.”

“Okay,” Marissa says, looking at him. “That was just corny.”

“Get used to harvesting,” Darren tells her, “because there’s always an abundance of corn when you’re hanging with Marko.”

“Hey!” Marko says, and gives a little pout. Then he eyes the board. “It looks like Sherlock Holmes could have walked the halls of this mansion, don’t you think? Can’t you just see him and Watson going through the secret passageways with Gladstone sniffing the way?”

“I thought the dog’s name was Toby,” Darren says.

One of Marko’s eyebrows stretches up, the other one angles down. “I believe, my dear Darren, that Sherlock co-opted any available bloodhound. The name was irrelevant.”

“Irrelevant? If the dog helped solve the crime, how can its name be irrelevant?”

But Marissa’s not a bit interested in Sherlock Holmes’ dog. She’s moved on, checking out her Cruzer Calendar, going, “Karaoke’s starting right now in the Aqua Lounge on Deck 5.”

Darren and Marko both make like they’re choking.

Or barfing.

Or choking on barf?

Whatever, it’s definitely rock ’n’ roll.

“It’s fun, you goons,” Marissa says. “Not all of us get to be onstage in real life, you know.”

Darren eyes the Cruzer. “What else is there?”

“Oh!” she cries. “Ice sculpture and a chocolate fountain are happening right now on the promenade level, aft!”

That’s basically right above us, so we go up the swoopy stairs to Deck 5, where hordes of people are already waiting in the chocolate fountain line.

“Uh, I don’t need chocolate that bad,” I tell them.

“Me, neither,” Marko says. “But the ice sculpture’s cool.”

It’s in the shape of a big sea serpent, glistening away on a long table near the chocolate fountain mob, and it
is
cool, but after watching ice glisten and chocolate flow for a few minutes, I finally just say, “What I’d really like to do is message Casey and then maybe raid the buffet again. Is that okay?”

Darren says, “Let’s do it!” and before you know it, we’re up on Deck 8, whooshing into the Lido Library.

The place is deserted except for one person.

The Puzzle Lady.

This time she gives me a little smile and says, “You just missed your friend.”

“My friend?”

“The African American boy? He was just here.”

Now, something about her makes me feel … uneasy. I mean, obviously she’s a snoop. But also, what sort of person pays a bunch of money for a cruise to sit by herself in a library all day, doing a puzzle?

You can do that for free at home!

She’s being friendly, though, and I feel kind of bad for thinking right away that she’s a crazy, nosy puzzle lady,
so I smile back and say, “Thanks,” and get on a computer across the room from her.

Luckily, Casey’s still awake and at his computer, so I have an awesome time messaging back and forth with him. And I guess I was typing away a lot longer than I knew, because after what seems like only five minutes, Darren taps me on the shoulder and says, “The birthday pumpkin appears in ten minutes.”

“Really?” I check the time, and sure enough, it’s almost midnight.

So I send Casey a bunch of hugs and kisses, and sign off. And when I stand up, I see that the Puzzle Lady is gone and sitting in her place is Marko.

With a rope.

“Where’d you get that?” I ask, but he just gives me a wicked grin and says, “Marissa claims to know where the cruise director sleeps. I thought we’d have a little fun.”

I bust up, and really, I think it’s a brilliant idea—a funny way to maybe smooth things over. So I scrawl a note that says,
You left this in the library!
and before you know it, we’re up on Deck 10, acting stupidly suspicious as we tiptoe down the hallway and plant the rope in front of Noah’s door.

Then we knock and race out of there, giggling like a pack of kids as we escape up a flight of stairs to the Schooner Buffet.

“That was awesome!” I pant as we plop into seats at a window table, because something about it seemed really, you know,
clandestine
to me. Even though it would be totally obvious that we were the ones who put it there.

Anyway, we wind up getting a midnight snack, and then we go back to Dessert Island for big wedges of cheesecake. Marko tries to light a toothpick on fire for a candle, and even though it doesn’t work very well, he jabs the smoking stick in my cheesecake, and they all sing “Happy Birthday.”

Which, let me tell you, sounded great in Troublemaker harmony.

“Big day tomorrow,” Darren says after we’ve practically licked our plates. “Off the ship and onto foreign soil.”

“Cabo San Lucas, Mexico,” Marko says, like he’s announcing a fighter getting into the ring.

“So … what do we do?” I ask, ’cause really, I haven’t given thought to any of it.

Instead of answering, Darren and Marko both look at Marissa like, Well?

“Oh!” Marissa clears her throat. “Well, we get up early, eat, disembark, walk or catch a tour bus or do an excursion—”

“An excursion?” I ask.

“You know—like ATVing through the backcountry or zip lining or swimming with dolphins. We just have to be back on board by five o’clock or whatever time they tell us we’re set to sail.”

The rest of us kind of shrug like, Sounds good.

She hesitates, then says, “You have to sign up for excursions ahead of time, though. And they’re expensive.”

Darren’s looking like he’s not sure what to do, so I tell him, “I’m fine with just walking around. I’ve never been on ‘foreign soil’ before, so I don’t need to tear it up with an ATV.”

Marko gives Darren an accusing look. “Dude, what happened to your planning skills? I totally wanted to swim with dolphins.”

“The water’s right there,” Darren says, pointing out the window.

I look at the two of them, and it hits me that Darren and Marko have made it through their entire lives together. They’re friends who
get
each other and can joke and act stupid and not worry about being judged. And, I don’t know, something about that sort of chokes me up. I don’t want Marissa to move to Ohio. I want her to stay and be my friend so we can grow up and be the girl version of Darren and Marko.

Finally, I take a deep breath and tell them, “This has been a really great birthday.”

Darren scratches the side of his jaw. “My present was the cruise, but I’m feeling like I should have bought you something tangible.”

“Yeah, where’s my pony?” I demand.

He laughs, and then Marko says, “Dude, you could at least have gotten her a dolphin, come on.”

“My present’s still at the store,” Marissa tells me, “ ’cause you wouldn’t buy anything today!”

“And my present is my
presence
,” Marko says with a little head bow. “Unparalleled by anything you’ll find on this ship.”

“Hello,” Marissa says. “Where’s the corn husker?” And Darren slaps five on her.

But I still want to make my point. So I tell them, “What I’m trying to say is that this has been the best birthday, and
there hasn’t been a single bow or any wrapping paper.” I give a little shrug. “Thank you.”

After that, we head back to our rooms, where Darren gives me a one-armed hug good night, and Marko smothers me with both arms and says, “You’re an awesome kid.”

“And you’re a beast!” I laugh, ’cause I’m suffocating.

“The Beast from Corn Alley,” Darren announces, and then they shove each other and disappear inside their cabin.

“They remind me of Billy and Casey,” Marissa whispers as she opens our door.

“They do, huh?” I laugh.

And I’m still laughing as we walk into our cabin.

And then I see what’s on my bed.

Marissa and I stand stock-still, staring at the rope on my bed, until finally Marissa whispers, “That is very creepy.”

Which it is. Not only because it means that Noah had been in our room, but also because the rope is now tied into a noose.