Sand and Clay (14 page)

Chapter
Eighteen

“Well, what did it look like?”
Jackie squealed in a high pitch voice over the phone. She and Aralia were on a
conference call with Caroline early the next morning. Turner had already left
for work and Caroline was brushing her hair, attempting to put herself together
for work as well. Her cell phone was propped up and on speaker phone on her makeup
table where she was standing and looking in the mirror.

“Jackie, that’s not really the
focus here! The focus is that he PROPOSED to me after only six months! Coincidentally
right after Logan pops back into town and tries to throw my entire life out of
whack.” Caroline scoffed at her friend over the phone, picking up her lipstick
and slathering on a layer.

“Yeah, Caroline, but we still have
to ask, I mean come on, it’s an engagement ring! We are curious.” Aralia chimed
in through the phone, defending her cousin.

“Alright, I will take a picture of
it with my cell and send it to you as soon as we hang up, okay?” Caroline said,
pulling open the lid and looking at the ring again. It really was beautiful,
even though it was very small. It was one small diamond on a silver band but
the band was in a decorative pattern that was very eye catching.

“Great, well then what is the
issue?” Jackie asked through the phone.

“Jackie, seriously, she doesn’t
want to get married after six months.” Aralia spoke to her cousin.

“It’s not that I don’t want to get
married, plus it’s only getting engaged. I am just surprised! We never even
talked about it! Don’t people usually toss the idea around before actually
taking the plunge?” Caroline asked her friends, picking up the phone and
bringing it with her into the kitchen to put some breakfast together.

“Yeah, that’s definitely true.” Jackie
chimed in.

“I can’t believe he never mentioned
anything or even asked you about marriage. I thought all couples talk about
it.” Aralia mused.

“No, not all couples talk about it.
At least not in the first six months!” Caroline told her.

“Well, I have never dated anyone
longer than a few weeks!” Aralia laughed.

“Yeah, this isn’t exactly Aralia’s
area of expertise.” Jackie chimed in.

“Hey!” Aralia countered in
irritation.

“Girls, can we get back to me,
please?” Caroline said while spreading some cream cheese on a bagel.

“Right, so what are you going to
do?” Aralia asked her.

“I mean, I told him I would tell
him by Friday, so I literally have just a few days to think about it and tell
him. We agreed to go out for a date night on Friday and talk about it. But, I
mean, how awkward is it going to be this week? I feel like I have to say yes,
don’t I? I mean I like him, I live with him, and he is such a sweet guy.” Caroline
told them, biting into her breakfast.

“Caroline, are you crazy? You never
HAVE to say yes to a proposal. It’s your choice and you really need to think
about it.” Aralia told her.

“Yeah, I mean you have to know you
want to spend the rest of your life with Turner and Turner only, no one else at
all, ever. And you know who I am talking about when I say that, no one else
ever again….ever, Caroline.” Jackie said.

“Caroline, you need to be in love. Head
over heels in love.” Aralia told her.

“And what makes you think that I’m
not in love with Turner or can’t be with Turner and only Turner for the rest of
my life?” Caroline countered, arguing with them.

“Jackie, don’t answer that,” Aralia
interrupted, “Caroline, we cannot answer that for you. You already know how you
feel.”

Caroline was silent for a moment,
finishing her bagel. She sighed and picked up her phone, switching it off
speaker phone and holding it up to her ear.

“Yeah, I know. Thanks, girls, I
really need to think this through.” Caroline told them and then said her
goodbyes before hanging up. After she hung up the phone, she popped back into
her bedroom and opened up the ring box that Turner had given her, snapped a
quick picture with her cell phone, and texted it to both girls. She then
finished cleaning up after her breakfast and headed out the door for work. She
decided to skip the coffee shop today, she wasn’t sure why, but she just
couldn’t face it today.

~**~

Monday went by uneventfully and
fell into Tuesday. Turner had worked late last night and Caroline had gone to
bed early, both trying to avoid each other and feeling awkward around one
another. Tuesday went by the same way, except Caroline worked late and Turner
went out with some of his friends to watch a sports game at a nearby bar.

Both nights the two only were
around each other in bed while asleep and one of them was always gone before
the other in the morning. Wednesday morning was Caroline’s turn and she was
gone at least forty five minutes before Turner’s alarm clock went off. She
headed straight to the coffee shop because she was exhausted getting up so
early and had begged Aralia to meet her there.

Caroline had spent time over the
last two days thinking about Turner’s marriage proposal but had not been able
to get any further in the decision making process. She was hoping that another
talk with Aralia might help her. She loved Jackie, but Jackie had never been
able to understand her the same way that Aralia could. The cousins were very
different personalities and Caroline tended to be more similar to Aralia which
was ironic since the two lived extremely different lifestyles.

After a ten minute subway ride,
Caroline arrived down the block from her work and the coffee shop and rushed
the rest of the way. She opened the coffee shop door and immediately smiled
when the smell of coffee beans hit her nose. Nothing could wipe away the stress
that clouded up her mind like the wonderful aroma of freshly brewed coffee
which was one of the reasons why she loved the Java Jolt so much.

“Hey, Caroline! Want your usual? We
started selling holiday drinks though, want a pumpkin latte or peppermint?” George
asked her.

“Ooh, that actually sounds great! Let’s
go with peppermint. Has Aralia gotten here yet?” Caroline asked him.

“Yeah, she got the pumpkin and is already
over there on the couch in the corner.” George nodded his head in that
direction and Caroline turned to see Aralia sipping her drink and flipping
through the newspaper. She waved to her and then finished paying for her drink
with George.

“Hey, girl.” Aralia said as
Caroline walked up and sat down across from her in a stuffed chair.

“So, I’m going to tell Turner that
I’ll marry him.” Caroline said, taking a big gulp of her freshly hot drink and
then coughing when she realized how hot it was. Aralia looked up from the
paper, alarmed. Caroline hadn’t been sure she was going to say that until she
saw Aralia but when she did, she knew what she should do.

“Wow. What made you decide that?” Aralia
asked, folding up the paper and putting it down on the low table between them. 

“I just think it is the best thing
to do. I mean my parents love Turner, he is the kind of guy they always wanted
me with. He has a good and steady job and we live together already. He loves me
and takes care of me. He is really fun and I enjoy being around him. It just
seems to make sense.” Caroline explained.

“What about Logan?” Aralia asked
cautiously, picking up a scone she had purchased earlier and taking a big bite.

“What about him? He picked Gina,
Aralia. He didn’t pick me. He can’t just go try her on for six months and then
decide to come back to me just because it didn’t work out with her. Hell, I
don’t even know if that’s true. He wasn’t exactly forthcoming about her when we
first met. He could still be with her for all I know.” Caroline shrugged as she
explained herself.

“Caroline, they are definitely
over. I mean you can Google it, she is working with some other band now or
something like that.” Aralia said.

“She is? You looked her up? Why?” Caroline
asked, furrowing her brow and crossing her legs.

“I was curious when he did the
whole sit in front of the coffee shop thing all day last week. I mean I think
it is pretty clear that he publicly claimed his affections for you with that
whole thing.” she said.

“Not really, it was explained off
as a promotion for his new art gallery.” Caroline told her.

“Well that was his agency that said
that, not him.” she defended Logan to Caroline. She nodded in agreement,
knowing Aralia was right.

“Caroline, tell me one thing. Do
you love Logan? Not just love, but in love with Logan?” Aralia leaned forward
and asked her. Caroline sighed and slumped back in her chair, crossing her
arms.

“Aralia, what kind of question is
that? I just told you that I am going to say yes to Turner’s proposal.” Caroline
said.

“I know, but in that whole
explanation you gave me earlier about why you are going to say yes, not once
did you mention love. Not once did you say you loved Turner. However, we both
know that you love, or at least did love, Logan. If I can be honest, I think
you were in love with Logan and that you still are.” Aralia told her quietly.

Caroline was silent listening to
her and squirmed uncomfortably in her seat.

“Well, it doesn’t really matter,
Aralia. I can’t marry a rock star and run away with him, I mean I have built a
life here that my family worked to give me. Turner is stable and kind and funny
and he makes me happy. He is a really great guy and what more can a girl ask
for than that?” Caroline told her.

“Okay, Caroline, but I want to go
on record saying I don’t think you are thinking this through correctly.” Aralia
put her hands up in surrender.

Caroline sighed and nodded, knowing
she should take Aralia’s advice more seriously. It was just more than she could
handle right now. Caroline and Aralia finished up their coffee and said
goodbye, walking each other out of the shop and then parting ways. Aralia was
heading back home since she didn’t have to go into the bar for work until later
tonight.

Once Aralia got around the corner
of the block and out of sight of Caroline, she quickly pulled out her phone and
flipped through her contacts until she found the number that she wanted. She
clicked it to dial and held the phone up to her ear quickly.

“Hey, it’s Aralia. I need you to
come by the bar tonight. I have to talk to you. It has to be tonight, it’s
really important. Okay, see you shortly.” Aralia said and then hung up the
phone and headed back to her apartment.

Chapter
Nineteen

“So, what’s the emergency? I didn’t
know that you even had my number, honestly.”

Aralia picked up a glass and tossed
some ice into it, looking at him.

“Let me guess, scotch on the rocks
kind of guy? Nothing but top shelf?” Aralia asked him, ignoring his question.

“Bingo. You certainly know your way
around a bar.” He told her, smiling.

“Hey, got to love what you do. I
have a talent for guessing people’s favorite drinks, hazard of the profession,
I guess. Here you go.” Aralia finished pouring the glass and slid it across the
bar to him. He took a few small swigs and nodded in approval.

“So, talk to me, Aralia.” He said,
putting down his glass and propping his elbows up on the edge of the bar,
leaning against it. Aralia sighed and leaned against the other side of the bar,
over the ice chest so that she could get closer. She glanced around the bar and
then lowered her voice.

“Logan, I don’t know any other way
to tell you this except to just flat out rip off the band-aid.” Aralia sighed
and then continued, “Turner proposed to Caroline and she is going to say yes.”

The handsome rock star sat back in
his chair, pushing off the bar and stared at her for a moment, as if he was
trying to figure out if what he had just heard could possibly be true. He
breathed out loudly and pushed his hair back with his hand, hen gulped down the
rest of his drink and pushed the glass back toward Aralia. Aralia quickly
grabbed it and emptied it out, refilled the ice and scotch, and then handed it
back to him. He took another gulp.

“She is going to say yes?” He knew
the answer but had to say it out loud anyways. He was staring at Aralia but
looking past her into space as well.

“She doesn’t want to. I know she
says she wants to, but she really doesn’t. I know she is still in love with
you. You need to win her back.” Aralia said, wiping some glasses clean.

“You don’t think I tried?” Logan
said incredulously, tossing his hands up in the air and then taking another few
swigs from his glass.

“I know, but try again. She has
been my best friend for longer than I can remember and I like Turner but he
doesn’t make her light up the way she does when she talks about you. He is a
really great guy but when she would talk about you, even when she was upset,
there was a passion and excitement in her eyes that I only see when she is
drawing in her sketch book.

She has spent all her life trying
to be the person she thinks she is supposed to be based on other people’s
opinions, like her parents. But even her mom was talking to me awhile ago after
they first met Turner and said she was worried Caroline was making a mistake,
all they really want is for her to be truly happy. I don’t know why she thinks
she has to fit a specific mold but she really needs to just let go and follow
her heart instead.” Aralia told him, continuing to wash and wipe clean glasses
and lining them up on the bar shelf.

“She really lights up when she
talks about me?” Logan asked, smiling at the thought of her beautiful smile
just for him.

“Unbelievably.” Aralia nodded.

“Thanks, Aralia. You’re a really
great friend to her.” Logan said and pulled some cash out of his pocket,
dropping it on the bar. Aralia handed him a piece of paper with Caroline’s
address on it, he read it then tucked it into his pocket. He smiled at her and
headed out, leaving the bar. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling ear to ear
and almost skipping down the Manhattan streets.

He felt like his whole body was
jittery with caffeine or adrenaline. It was strange that he was in such a good
mood for having just heard the woman he loves was planning on marrying someone
else, but his heart was telling him something else. He had no doubts about what
he was going to do next. 

~**~

“Hey, have you seen my green
t-shirt with the signet on it?” Turner stuck his head out of the bedroom and
called to Caroline. She was sitting on the couch watching one of the prime time
drama television series that she loved.

“Yeah, I just folded it. It’s in
the pile of laundry in the white bin. I haven’t put them away in the drawers
yet. Sorry.” Caroline responded and then went back to watching her show. Turner
went back into the bedroom.

Caroline looked back at the bedroom
door and bit her lip. She had another day before the big talk with Turner. She
knew that she had told Aralia that she had made up her mind, but now she felt
like she was even further from a decision than ever. She rubbed her eyes with
the back of her hands and sighed, leaning into the couch and trying to get
comfortable. Her whole body felt tense and stressed, her chest was tight, and
her throat felt closed. Sometimes she had to catch herself from letting a tear
slip out because the stress was just overwhelming her.

Her television program clicked off
and went to a commercial break just as Caroline heard a knock on their front
door. Caroline looked over toward the hallway to see if Turner was going to
answer it but didn’t hear any movement from the bedroom. She sighed and stood
up, smoothing out her baggy t-shirt and ruffling her hair a bit, wondering who
would be visiting at such a late hour. She trotted over to the front door in
her small shorts and ankle socks, opening the door wide and then pausing in
mid-motion.

“Caroline.” Logan said softly,
standing in her doorway.

He was wearing a leather jacket
over a thin t-shirt and tight jeans, looking her straight in the eyes with such
an intensity that she almost fell over. She took a deep breath, trying to
regain her thoughts, and then turned around to look and see if Turner was
around. She didn’t see him and so she quickly stepped out into the hallway,
made sure the door was unlocked, and gently closed it behind her.  She was
terrified that Turner might have seen him, she wasn’t sure how she would ever
explain this to him.

After closing the door, Caroline
turned around and looked up at Logan. She tried to say something, but no words
came out of her mouth. Logan took a step towards her and his hands slipped onto
either side of her face, then leaned down and kissed her. She didn’t try and
stop him, not even the smallest amount of resistance. Instead, she slipped her
hands around his waist and leaned into him, deepening their kiss. A few quiet
moments went past with the two locked in the tangles of intimacy until Logan
finally pulled back slightly from her, breaking their kiss.

“Caroline, I love you.” He
whispered softly, inches from her face, still holding her cheeks in his large
hands. Caroline looked deeply into his eyes and then burst into tears. His
hands moved and wiped away her tears gently. He leaned down again and kissed
each of her cheeks where her tears were. She let him for a moment and then
pushed him away, wiping her own tears away with her sleeve and trying to calm
down.

“Logan, you can’t be here. I have a
boyfriend, we live together and he is good for me. I already told you that
there is nothing left between us.” She whispered to him, pushing him back
further away from him with her hand.

“You know that is not true,
Caroline.” Logan looked down at the ground and then back at her, slipping his
hands into his pockets. He pulled out a piece of paper from his jacket pocket
and handed it to her. She took it and saw that it was an invitation for his art
gallery opening party.

“Friday night, my art gallery
opens. I never want to be the one who makes you cry ever again. If there is
even the smallest part of you that thinks this is meant to be,” he told her
pointing to the both of them, “then come find me there. If not, if you want to
be with Turner, get married, and never have to deal with me again, then rip up
the invitation. And if that is the case, then I will leave you alone. I won’t
bother you again.”

Logan closed the gap between them
and kissed her gently on her forehead, his hands on her upper arms.

“I just want you to be happy, the
happiest you can possibly be. Even if that means I don’t get to be part of that
painting. You deserve your own happiness, Caroline.” Logan let go of her arms,
brushed a strand of hair out of her face, and then walked away. He headed
around the corner towards the elevator and Caroline leaned back against the
door, her heart pounding. She gulped and placed her hand on her chest, trying
to calm herself down. She turned around and slowly opened the door, trying to
stay quiet. There was still no movement from the bedroom and the rest of the
apartment was quiet so Caroline sighed and headed back into the living room,
plopping down on the couch. The television was still going but Caroline stared
at it, not even seeing it. Her mind was swarming with thoughts and blank all at
the same time.